Chapter 39

THE Union Pacific was late. Otherwise, Rachel and Billy would have missed the train. Their trunks were loaded, and boarding had begun. Rachel was waiting on the platform while Billy had a few last words with Jeb. She was trying not to think about leaving the ranch, leaving the Rocky Valley again.

“Mother!”

Rachel froze. That wasn’t Billy’s voice. She saw the Appaloosa halting at the end of the platform, and recognized the rider. Jessie sat on her horse and stared at Rachel for a moment before jumping down from Blackstar.

She was aware of nothing around her except Rachel, getting to Rachel as fast as she could. She ran. There was a whirlwind of emotion running through her.

Rachel held her breath as her daughter came toward her. Jessie’s eyes reflected feelings she had never seen in them—misery, desperation. She saw the book Jessie was holding out to her, and she flushed hotly with the realization of what she’d read. What did it mean for Jessie to be there with it? That silly book had accomplished what nothing else could!

“Jessica?” Rachel held out a hand tentatively, but the moment their fingers touched, Jessie’s control shattered, and she threw herself into Rachel’s arms. “Mother! Oh, Mother, I’m so sorry! I’ve been so cruel to you,” Jessie cried. “But I couldn’t let you see that I love you, that I’ve always loved you.”

“I know, dearest. It doesn’t matter now.” Rachel could barely get the words out, she was so choked. “Oh, Jessica, don’t cry.”

“When I think of what I put you through, what Thomas did, oh, Mother, you’ve been so wronged!”

“Jessica—Jessie, look at me.” Rachel clasped her face in her hands. “Dearest, none of it was your fault. And none of it matters now that I have you back.”

Jessie looked into her mother’s eyes. She cried all the harder. “Hold me, Mother. If you only knew how often I have dreamed of being held in your arms again.”

The train whistle blew. Rachel stiffened. Jessie looked up, panic in her face.

“You can’t go now—not now!”

Rachel smiled gently. “Our trunks are already on board.”

“Then we’ll take them off!”

Rachel laughed at the stubborn note that came so quickly to her daughter. “Dearest, you need some time alone with your new husband.”

“Damn, don’t use that excuse. You wouldn’t be leaving if I hadn’t married him.”

“But you did.”

“I’ll divorce him!”

“No, you won’t, Jessica. Your baby needs him, even if you think you don’t.”

Jessie lowered her eyes, her cheeks reddening. “He told you about that, I suppose?”

“Yes.”

“Well, I still don’t need time alone with him.”

“Yes, you do. All newlyweds need time to themselves. But I’ll be back as soon as I get Billy settled in school and attend to some business matters I’ve neglected. It won’t be long, Jessica. All right?”

“You promise to come back, Mother?”

There was such pleading in Jessie’s voice that Rachel nearly decided to stay. But she felt strongly about not intruding on the first weeks of the new marriage. Chase and Jessie needed time. All was not happy between them.

“I promise to come back. But I want you to promise you’ll give Chase a chance. He’s a good man.”

Jessie sighed. “We can talk about that when you come back.”

Rachel grinned. “Stubborn to the end, my darling.”

Jessie handed Rachel the diary.

“You didn’t read all of it, did you?” Rachel asked, remembering the heartache she had poured into it recently.

“No, but I’d like to.”

Rachel patted Jessie’s cheek, then gathered her in her arms again for a last hug. “I don’t think either of us needs to read this book again.”

“I love you, Mother.”

“Oh, Jessica, I’ve waited so long to hear you say that.” The tears began again. “I love you, too, and I’ll be back soon, darling.”

Long after the train was out of sight, Jessie stood on the empty platform. Jeb had wandered off to the saloon once he saw Jessie and Rachel embrace. He knew Jessie would need to be alone awhile.

Chase found Jessie at the depot later. “She’s gone?” he asked hesitantly.

Jessie wouldn’t look at him. “Yes.” She continued to stare down the empty track.

“Why the long face?” He asked hesitantly.

Jessie raised her eyes slowly. “She wouldn’t stay—because of you.”

“Now just a damn minute, Jessie. How did I get into this?”

“She thought I should be alone with you.”

“Oh, well.” Chase grinned. “The idea has merit.”

“It does not!” Jessie retorted before she swung around and headed for Blackstar.

Chase followed quickly." Where are you going?”

“Home.”

“You can’t, Jessie. It’s too late to ride all that way.”

“I can ride by moonlight.”

“You’ll freeze,” he pointed out.

“I’ll be riding too fast to feel the cold.”

He grabbed her shoulder. “What’s your hurry? You’ve never ridden home at night before.”

“I want familiar surroundings. I want to sleep in my own bed, in my own room, with my own things around me.” She shook away, angry that she had said that much. She was feeling bereft, as if she had lost her mother all over again. “I’m not asking you to ride with me if that’s what you’re worried about. You can ride back with Jeb in the morning.”

Without waiting for him to answer, she mounted and rode off without looking back.

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