Brave the Wild Wind

Chapter 44

JESSIE caught a lock of his hair and twirled it about her fingers, sighing in utter contentment. Chase lay on top of her, so still he might have been sleeping. But he wasn’t.

Jessie giggled, remembering that time in the wagon. “I thought you never slept on your stomach.”

“I’m not.” Chase didn’t move. “I’m sleeping on you.”

“I know you’re holding your weight back. You can’t relax—”

“I’m doing just fine,” he murmured.

“Come on, you can’t sleep now, anyway. Siesta isn’t for another hour or so. There’s lunch first, and you have to meet your cousins and—”

He looked up at her, grinning. “You mean we get to come back up here today and no one will think anything of it?”

“Chase, you’re terrible!”

“Am I? It’s been forever since I’ve seen you.”

“It’s only been—”

“Forever.” He kissed her to shut her up. Then he sat up, and his mood changed. She knew he’d been dying to ask, yet afraid to. She decided to help him.

“Aren’t you going to ask about Don Carlos?”

He wouldn’t look up. An interminable time passed without a response.

Finally he mumbled, “There’s no hurry.”

“I don’t believe—”

“Leave it alone.”

“But you’ve come so far!”

He looked at her, then looked away. “Jessie, it’s been twenty years since my mother first told me about the man. That’s a hell of a long time to wonder about someone. It’s a long time to—” He paused. “Call me a coward, but I’d rather not hear it.”

She couldn’t let him falter, not after all this time.

“Chase,” Jessie said gently. “Don Carlos has been ill for a long time, and now... now he’s worse. They wouldn’t even let me see him, afraid I would upset him.”

“But he is alive? You’re sure, Jessie?” He was gripping her shoulders.

“Yes, I’m sure. I got in to see him in spite of them.”

“Is he dying, Jessie?”

“I don’t know,” she sighed. “They haven’t actually said, but they treat him as if he were. Nita wears mourning clothes already. She’s your cousin by the way, the one who answered the door.”

“Never mind. Tell me.”

“Well, he didn’t seem to me like a man who was dying. His voice was strong. He’s alert. He’s just weak, and, well, maybe he just doesn’t have any reason to live.”

“Leave it to a woman to come up with a diagnosis like that,” Chase said disagreeably.

“Well, it’s possible. Anyway, I intended to tell him all about you, but Rodrigo—”

“Rodrigo?”

“Don Carlos had two sisters. Nita’s mother is dead. Rodrigo is the child of the other sister. She’s still alive, traveling now. Anyway, Rodrigo was with Don Carlos last night. He made me realize that such shocking news could do Don Carlos more harm than good.”

“Has he so many children that one more would be too much of a burden to acknowledge?”

“Chase, he has no children. That’s why I had to be so determined. I thought knowing about you would please him. But I couldn’t tell him if the shock would make him worse.”

“So he doesn’t know? And now you’re telling me I’ve come all this way for nothing because I shouldn’t try to see him, either?”

She gave him a second, then announced, “If he saw you, he would understand instantly. Why do you think Nita was so surprised when she saw you? You look just like him, Chase.”

She watched his face as he took in the realization. If he looked just like Don Carlos, then Don Carlos truly was his father. He stood stock-still, staring into space. “So, one look at me and he drops dead from shock, eh?”

Jessie supposed it wouldn’t hurt to tell him about her fanciful notion.

“Actually,” she began hesitantly, “I mean, well... I can’t be sure—”

“Damn it, when did this problem expressing yourself start? You’ve never had any trouble before.”

“Don’t go taking your temper out on me, Chase Summers! If you don’t want to hear what I have to say, then I won’t say any more.”

He sat down on the bed again. “I’m sorry, Jessie. You have to understand—”

“I do,” she interrupted. “And what I wanted to tell you was that your father might just have realized for himself what I couldn’t bring myself to tell him. I can’t be sure, mind you.”

“How?” He was so bewildered, it hurt her to look at him.

“Well, I was amazed at the resemblance between you, and he saw my surprise. I admitted that he reminded me of someone I know. But”— she made herself recall all of it—“it wasn’t only that. We were talking about America, and he mentioned that he had gone back there ten years ago, looking for someone. I don’t know why I assumed it was your mother he was looking for, but I did. I also assumed he hadn’t found her, and I said so. He looked at me so strangely when I said ‘her.’ And then, when I was about to leave, he asked me right out who it was he reminded me of. I didn’t think it would hurt to admit it was my husband, so I did. I think he thanked me then, but of course I could easily have misunderstood. I was across the room and could barely hear him.”

“But it’s possible he knows and wasn’t shocked at all!”

“Yes.”

There was silence, and then Chase said, “Let’s go. Let’s go see... my father.”