Crystal's Heart

Chapter Fourteenth

"Grab pickles while you're down there, will ya?" Crystal asked, looking over the neatly written shopping list.

"Spears or slices?" Laura asked.

"Spears and make sure they're dill," the blonde replied without looking up from the list. "Last time you got me that other kind. I don't like them." "Is that why you haven't touched that jar? You could have told me." Laura picked up the correct jar and put it carefully into the shopping cart. "You went to the trouble to buy them for me," Crystal said. "I figured they'd get eaten up eventually."

"We could have brought them over to Mom's with us tonight," Laura said. "I'm sure she'd find a use for them."

"Don't forget we have to stop someplace and pick up a new frame for your picture since you put my GED in that one." Crystal threw a bag of chocolate chip cookies into the basket. "Hey, let's not forget to pick up a tin of those butter cookies."

"Just one? I can eat that myself," Laura joked. "We'll pick up a couple of them. Oh, pick up two bags of marshmallows, would you? I want to make a batch of those treats to send to Bobby."

"Sure, I saw them down this way." Crystal moved to the far end of the aisle, spotting the bags on the bottom shelf. An older woman, debating on which bag of hard candy to buy, stood in her way. "Excuse me."

The older woman turned, their eyes meeting. Shock still, Crystal swallowed hard against a dry throat. "It can't be," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. Years had taken their toll, Crystal noticed. Lines and wrinkles marred what once was a beautiful face, blonde hair was now silvery gray and the glasses were thicker but there was no mistake in the eyes which looked back at her with at first confusion, then recognition.

"C-Crystal?" the woman asked carefully.

"Crystal? Did you find the marshmallows?" Laura asked as she came upon them.

"I um ." She pointed at the bags on the bottom shelf, never taking her eyes off the woman before her. Unsure what to say after so many years, Crystal stood there dumbly staring.

"I can't believe it's really you," the woman said in awe, reaching her hand toward Crystal's face.

"Um yeah," Crystal mumbled, taking a step back out of reach and closer to Laura.

"You're really alive," the woman continued, putting a shaky hand into her purse and retrieving a handkerchief.

"Crystal?" Laura asked, no doubt concerned by the pale pallor of the blonde's face.

"Laura, this is" Crystal paused over the words. "Margaret Sheridan. She's my mother."

At the word, Margaret Sheridan gave a half sob and moved around her shopping cart to pull Crystal into an embrace. "I can't believe it," she sobbed. "My little girl is alive. My Crystal is safe."

Crystal pulled free and moved next to Laura, taking the writer's hand in hers and feeling reassured at the gentle squeeze. "Did you ever hear from Patty?"

"There's so much to tell you," Margaret said, tears still rolling down her cheeks. "You turned out so beautiful. I always knew you would." Crystal did not protest when Laura wrapped a protective arm around her. "What about Patty?" the young woman insisted. Margaret gave a sad smile. "She came back home less than six months after you left. We tried so hard to find you."

"Six

Where can I find her? Does she have a phone number? Where's she living?" The questions came quickly out of Crystal's mouth and she tightened her grip on the back of Laura's shirt.

"Patricia lives with me," her mother said. "So do Jessica and Thomas, your niece and nephew." She reached into her purse and fumbled around. "I have pictures."

Crystal felt light headed and very closed in. "I need to get out of here," she said in a low voice. Laura pressed the keys into her hand. "I'll meet you at the car," the writer promised. She cast a quick look at Crystal's mother before releasing her hold on the younger woman. "I'll find out for you."

Crystal took a long look at her mother, seeing only love and concern in eyes so much like her own. Unsure what to say or even if her voice would allow her to speak, Crystal turned and headed for the nearest exit, not stopping until she had reached the Jeep and was safely locked inside. Rolling the window down halfway, she lit a cigarette, surprised at how much her hands were shaking. Patty's alive, she thought as she watched the tip of the cigarette burn. She's alive and I have a niece and nephew. I wonder how old they are. Patty lives with Mom? How can that be? She'd never live in the same house as Dad again, I know she wouldn't. Did Mom throw him out? Did the bastard finally die? Those and dozens of other questions raced through her mind as the minutes passed. She was surprised at the gentle tap on the passenger window signaling Laura's arrival. Crystal unlocked the door, holding the keys out presumably so her roommate could open the back of the Jeep to put the groceries in but once the door was opened, Laura reached in and pulled her into a hug.

"I know this has got to be hard for you," the writer said softly.

Crystal could only nod her head, grateful for the comforting arms around her. Trembling, she tightened her hold around Laura's neck and closed her eyes. Her breaths were coming in irregular gulps, the lump in her throat feeling larger with each second. She parted her lips to speak but no words would come out, only unintelligible croaks. She was not sure how Laura understood what she needed but for long minutes they stayed that way, Crystal stretched across the front seat while the writer stood with the driver's door open, her upper body leaning inside.

"Let's get you home," Laura said in a soft voice. Crystal took several haggard breaths before nodding and pulling back from the much needed embrace. She reached up to wipe her eyes but Laura was quicker, the writer's thumbs gently brushing the moisture away. "Of all days to come shopping with me, hmm?" Laura said.

"Fate's a bitch," Crystal muttered, surprised when she felt the writer's fingertip brush her lower lip before pulling away.

"Sometimes it is," Laura agreed. Crystal took the offered handkerchief and wiped her eyes while the groceries were loaded, feeling far more composed by the time Laura climbed into the driver's seat and put the keys in the ignition.

"I still can't believe it," Crystal said, crumpling the damp handkerchief in her fist. "My mother

I saw my mother." Belatedly she realized they were out of the parking lot and heading for the highway. "And at the supermarket. Does she live near here?"

Laura glanced at the torn scrap of paper with the all important phone number on it. "She's got a five two seven exchange. That doesn't start until after the railroad tracks on the other side of town so she doesn't live around here. Maybe something brought her out this way and she decided to do her shopping at the same time. Wild coincidence, hmm?"

"Yeah," Crystal answered absently while lighting a cigarette. "There's a big trailer park over there. She might be living there." Taking a long drag, she raised her eyes and stared at the passing traffic. "She's smaller than I remember."

"Probably because you're taller," Laura said.

"And Patty lives with her. She came home." Crystal took a deep breath to keep the tears at bay. "I miss her so much."

"I know you do, hon," Laura said with a gentle pat on Crystal's leg. "And in just a couple of hours you'll be able to talk to her."

Crystal looked at her watch, frowning at how slow the time was passing. "I need a cigarette," she announced, heading for the sliding glass door. Laura rose from her chair and intercepted the nervous woman. "You just had a cigarette ten minutes ago," she reminded. "Maybe you should give Jenny a call."

"Naw," Crystal said, taking comfort in the gentle hand resting on her shoulder. "She's probably either with someone or on her way home right now. I wouldn't be able to catch her."

"Then sit down and try to relax," the writer insisted.

Reluctantly, Crystal allowed herself to be led to the table. "Maybe I should call now. Patty might be home early."

"You have almost half an hour yet," Laura said, standing behind Crystal and resting her hands on the younger woman's shoulders. "I know what will make you relax."

Crystal's eyes fluttered shut as she felt strong fingers begin kneading her neck and shoulder muscles. The kitchen was silent except for the occasional moans when Laura's fingers hit tight muscles. Eleven years of questions raced around in Crystal's mind, all vying to be the first one asked when the time came to make the call. Laura was right, Crystal thought to herself when the gentle beep of her watch alerted her to the time. The gentle massage did relax her, helping to make the minutes pass far quicker than if she had continued to pace about the kitchen.

"You ready?" Laura asked, taking a step back and removing her hands having.

"I think so," Crystal said nervously. "Damn, I wish I had a drink."

"I'm sure you do," Laura replied, handing over the cordless phone. "But you can handle this without it. I know you can. I have faith in you."

Crystal snorted and toyed with the phone. "I'm glad someone does." Taking a deep breath, she tapped in the number written on the torn scrap of paper. "It's ringing." Laura said nothing but the comforting hand she resting on Crystal's shoulder spoke volumes.

"Hello?"

"Patty?"

"Crystal? My god, is it really you?"

"I never thought I'd ever see you again," Crystal said, gripping the phone tighter. "I can't believe I'm really talking to you." She turned her mouth from the phone to address Laura. "It's really her."

"There's so much to talk about," Patty said, drawing Crystal back to the miraculous meeting on the phone. "Where did you go when you ran away? I tried to find you for years."

"I tried to find you too," Crystal replied, smiling at Laura when a tissue box was set before her on the table. "There's so much for us to talk about." "Well now that we've found each other we have all the time in the world. I have so much to tell you."

"Let's start at the beginning," Crystal said, leaning her elbows on the table and visibly relaxing. "All right, so you got out on the bus" Despite her attention being given to her long lost sister, Crystal was nonetheless fully aware of Laura leaving the room. A quick glance into the living room showed channels rapidly flicking before the writer settled on a football game. The next two hours were more emotionally draining than her most intense therapy sessions, an emotional roller coaster as the two sisters learned of each other's life since their tragic separation.

Laura looked up as she heard the phone being set on its base. Crystal's red rimmed eyes were puffy, a crumpled up tissue wiping the fresh tears that had fallen from them.

"Come here," the writer said softly, shutting off the television and shifting sideways on the couch. When Crystal sat down, Laura moved closer, putting her left arm around the younger woman's shoulders and pulling her close. "How are you feeling?" She felt Crystal shrug before answering.

"I dunno," Crystal said. "So much happened just after I left. If I had stuck around, things would have been so different."

"You can't go back and change things," Laura said, her fingers gently stroking Crystal's upper arm.

"My father had a heart attack about two months after I left," Crystal said, leaning her head against Laura's upper chest. "And Patty came home four months after that. If I had just stuck around for six more months I wouldn't have had to run away at all."

Laura took a deep breath, thinking of what she knew of Crystal's life as a runaway.

"She came home pregnant," the woman in her arms continued. "Patty could have really used me then and I wasn't there. Mom stopped drinking and found a job. Patty says Mom's so different from when we were kids. She watches Jessica and Thomas when Patty's at work." Crystal shook her head. "I can't believe it. Mom stopped drinking, Patty came home, I have a niece and nephew and I've missed it all!"

"Hon, you couldn't have known what was going on," Laura said. "You said your folks didn't have a telephone back then." "I just never thought Patty would come home much less that the bastard would die so soon," Crystal said. "I should have toughed it out. I should have been stronger."

"Hey." Cupping Crystal's chin with her fingers, Laura looked into sad eyes. "You can't beat yourself up for what you should or shouldn't have done a lifetime ago. You had no way of knowing what would happen. You did what you had to do to get away from that monster. When the people that are supposed to protect you are the ones hurting you, what else could you have done?"

"But"

"No buts," Laura said firmly, relaxing her hold on Crystal's chin and letting her fingertips trace the throat before withdrawing. "You had to get away from your father." She waited for the reluctant nod before continuing. "The important thing now is that you have Patty back. When are you going to visit her?"

"Saturday," Crystal said, resting her head against Laura's willing shoulder. "It's easier for me to go see her than it is for her to pack the kids up in the car and make the trip out here." She paused for a moment before asking "Are you going to come with me to meet her?" Laura, who had been momentarily distracted by the scent of golden hair beneath her nose, tilted her head to look at her companion. "Do you want me to?"

Crystal nodded. "Yeah."

"If you want me there," Laura said quietly, "I'll be there." Without thought, she let her fingers gently brush back and forth over the younger woman's shoulder, a gentle smile crossing her lips. "It should be interesting introducing me."

Crystal smiled back. "I'll just tell them you're a lesbian mystery writer and we live together. I'm sure that'll go over well."

"You have a wicked streak in you, hon," Laura said. "You'll make them think we're lovers."

To her surprise, Crystal merely shrugged nonchalantly. "So what?" the blonde said. "Patty wouldn't care, I'm sure of it." She sat up and looked at Laura. "Would it bother you?" she asked in all seriousness. "If people thought we were lovers?"

Laura took a deep breath, hoping the feelings she usually kept so guarded weren't evident on her face. "No, it wouldn't bother me at all. You're a beautiful woman and beneath that tough act you like to show everyone else, I know inside you're a loving and caring person. Any woman would be lucky to have that chance with you. Beside, half our friends think we're lovers anyway."

"More than half, I bet," Crystal said, relaxing against Laura's body again. "Of course I suppose the fact we do things like this " she gestured at their intimate position. " doesn't help."

"Yes but we don't hold each other like this in front of other people," the writer pointed out. "They don't see this side of our relationship." "I dunno," Crystal said quietly, her eyes focused on the dark television. "I guess it's just because we live together."

"Must be," Laura said, knowing in her heart that it was not the truth.

"Then again maybe they see something we don't."

Laura's first thought was to deny it, to fight the reality within Crystal's words but her heart refused to let her. Nodding reluctantly, the writer dared to dive into the dangerous waters. "Maybe," she said in a voice so low that at first she was not sure Crystal had even heard her but when the young woman shifted, sitting up to look deep into Laura's eyes, the writer knew her words had carried.

"Laura?"

Laura heard the unspoken questions, the fear and perhaps even anticipation in Crystal's voice. Feeling her own heart pounding within her chest, she brought her right hand up to rest against Crystal's cheek. "Sometimes I see you hurting and all I want to do is hold you in my arms and never let go." Leaning forward slightly, she kept her eyes locked with Crystal's. "Other times you're so self-destructive that I want to just shake some sense into you but I have to hold back and just hope that you'll come to me when you're ready." Laura drew her hand back, the fingertips barely grazing Crystal's lower lip. "But most of all I'm just happy to be part of your life as long as you let me because behind those thorns I'm certain there's a rose just waiting to bloom and be loved." Feeling somewhat confident that she would not be rebuked, Laura closed the remaining distance and felt the softness of Crystal's lips against hers. It was a brief, fleeting kiss but to Laura, it was perfect. "You affect me," she whispered as she pulled back, her lips tingling from the abbreviated contact.

Crystal lowered her head, looking down at her hands. "When I first moved in here, I was sure it wouldn't work out. What the hell does a drunk stripper who didn't even graduate high school have in common with a lesbian writer with a degree?" She looked up at Laura. "Not to mention you're the ultimate neat freak."

"And you're the proverbial Oscar Madison," Laura said softly, answering Crystal's smile with one of her own.

"And I'm a slob," Crystal agreed. "But somehow we managed to work it out." She lowered her head again. "I don't know when it happened. It sure as hell isn't something I'd ever think about with anyone else. At first I thought it was because I hung around with just you and your friends but it doesn't rub off like a contagious disease." She shrugged her shoulders. "I guess I stopped thinking of you as a lesbian and started thinking of you as a friend then as something more than a friend." Tilting her head up, she looked at Laura's mouth, seemingly unable to make eye contact. "You you affect me too."

"So where do we go from here?" Laura asked, using her fingers to lift Crystal's head up.

"I don't know," Crystal admitted wearily. "I feel like I'm on overload with everything that's happened today."

"I bet you are," Laura said, using her arms to pull the younger woman against her. "Relax. It's not something you have to decide right this minute." Unable to resist, she bent her head and placed a soft kiss on the top of the blonde hair. "Nothing has to change. When the time is right, you'll know it."

"Until when?" Crystal asked, her voice muffled against Laura's chest. "What if you get tired of waiting or someone better comes along? What if I can't get over the stuff in my past enough to be able to

" She let the sentence go unfinished.

"You worry too much, you know that?" Laura said in mock exasperation as she hugged the woman in her arms. She understood the unspoken implication and deep inside, the writer's heart burned with renewed anger at the man who had caused so much pain to the younger woman. "I told you, when the time is right, you'll know it. And for the record," she added in a lower voice. "I'm not looking." She felt Crystal's arms tighten around her. "And I'm not going anywhere."

"Anyone tell you you're a sweet talker?" Crystal asked, awkwardly sitting up.

"I spend a great deal of time trying to paint a picture with words," Laura said, reluctantly releasing the embrace as Crystal put some space between them. "I'm just trying to make sure you understand how I feel." Deciding not to push it, Laura changed the subject. "Now, tell me more about Patty and your niece and nephew. I'm sure you know everything about them right down to their hair color." Laura settled back to listen to Crystal talk, though the words failed to sink in as the writer's mind traveled back to replay the evening's revelations what they meant to the future.

The air was cool, enough to make Crystal forego her usual t-shirt and don a sweatshirt to go with her sweatpants before stepping onto the balcony for a late night cigarette. Her thoughts were racing far too much to think of sleep, despite being tired. Wisps of smoke rose in the air while she quietly listened to the faraway hooting of the owl and even more distant sounds of the traffic on the highway. For a brief moment, part of her wanted to be on that highway, driving as far away from the whirlwind of her life as she could. She knew for a certainty now that Laura wanted to be her lover and while it relieved Crystal on one level to know her own interest was returned, it scared her as well. Writing in her journal for two hours after retiring to her room had been of some help, allowing her to organize her thoughts and express some of her fears but it wasn't enough. Flicking ash into the night wind, Crystal sighed and thought about what tomorrow would bring.

"Can't sleep?" Laura asked before opening the sliding door and stepping onto the balcony.

"Just a lot on my mind," Crystal answered. "You know, with seeing Patty Saturday and all." Her lips curled into a small smile. "Not to mention what happened downstairs earlier."

"Do you want to talk about it?" the writer asked, pulling out a chair and sitting down.

Crystal took another drag of her cigarette before answering the question with one of her own. "Do you?"

"I think we should since neither of us is getting any sleep," Laura said.

"You know I really wish I had a drink right now," Crystal said. "Everything is just swirling around in my head and part of me wants to just run from it all." She gave a short, self-deprecating laugh. "Figures when things are going good I'd be looking for a way to screw it all up." She tamped the cigarette out in the ashtray while trying to organize her thoughts. Realizing it was a futile effort, she turned her chair to face Laura and leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees. "I don't know what the hell you see in me," she said, looking down at nothing.

"That's because you're not looking through my eyes," Laura said softly, her fingers reaching out to touch Crystal's arm. "I wish I did," she admitted. "I wish I saw whatever it is you see. Laura? Earlier, when we were on the couch?" Goosebumps rose on her arm and

Crystal knew it had nothing to do with the night wind. "When you when we kissed?" Taking a deep breath, she forced herself to look up and ask the question that had worried her all night. "Did you like it?"

"I did like it," Laura said earnestly. "You couldn't tell?"

"I thought so but, I mean 's not like I'm the first woman you've kissed." She lowered her head again. "I guess I just wasn't sure." She paused. "You didn't say." She felt Laura's hand leave hers and gentle but insistent fingers pushing her chin up.

"Crystal" Laura took a deep breath. "I liked it. Very much so."

Reaching between her legs and gripping thee.g.of the chair, Crystal scooted closer, the material of her sweatpants brushing against Laura's knee. "Can I tell you something?" she asked shyly.

"Anything."

"I

" She stopped, her insecurities taking over for the moment. The words she wanted to say just would not come. Reaching out, she took Laura's hand in hers and was pleased to feel a reassuring squeeze. "I

" she tried again. "Earlier, when I got up and told you I was going to go to bed?"

"Yes?"

"Well" She felt Laura's thumb move over her wrist and before she knew it, her hands were the ones being held. "I was hoping that you'd well you know like a kiss goodnight?"

"I thought about it," Laura admitted, her thumb moving in lazy circles over sensitive palms and doing the most distracting things to Crystal. "I wanted to but after you pulled away I thought that maybe I'd pushed it too much. I didn't want to scare you. I wasn't sure you liked it." "I liked it," Crystal said softly. "It was" She shook her head, unable to describe all that the tender kiss had stirred in her. There was fear certainly, but not the fear of being hurt as of the unknown. Gentle, not demanding or even requesting, just offering a tactile expression of the most amazing of feelings and while almost overwhelming in its intensity, Crystal felt the loss keenly when it ended. "I'm not as good with words as you are, but if" She looked into Laura's eyes, seeing what the night shadows could not hide. "If you wanted to do it again

I'd let you." While not able to take the first step herself, she trusted Laura enough to allow the older woman to do so.

"I'd like to," Laura said softly. "Very much."

Crystal tried to think, to burn into her memory the sensations as Laura leaned forward and closed the remaining space between them but there was no thought once their lips touched, only feeling. It was not just one kiss but many little ones and she did as much searching out with her mouth as Laura. She did not resist when gentle hands pulled her closer, ignoring the harde.g.of Laura's chair against her knee. Nothing mattered to Crystal but the whirlpool she was sinking willingly into. The world narrowed to just herself and Laura, arms wrapped around each other. Needing more, Crystal moved from her chair and pressed her body against Laura, the thin layer of silk allowing her to feel the heat of the skin beneath. Crystal felt desire rising within her, her body longing for more than just an endless series of kisses. When she dared to part her lips and let the tip of her tongue touch Laura's lower lip, she was delighted to hear a soft moan. Then she felt Laura respond, the kiss deepening into something far more intense, more erotic, and more loving than anything she had felt before. Laura's tongue gently explored her mouth, drawing soft moans from Crystal as she surrendered to the feelings swirling through her. Sinking her fingers into the dark hair, she did some exploring of her own, using the tip of her tongue to gently trace the edges of Laura's teeth, to feel sensations stronger than any she had known before. When the kiss finally ended, Crystal found herself mostly on Laura's lap and was grateful for the arms holding her tight as she was certain she would sink to the deck if those warm, gentle arms were to let go. She felt the rapid rise and fall of Laura's chest despite struggling to get her own breathing slowed down. When she spoke, it was with halting breaths. "Now that was a kiss."

Laura laughed and pulled her closer. "I'm glad you liked it."

Crystal smiled against the warm chest and inhaled deeply. "I did. I've never been kissed like that before." The hoot owl cried out from his perch. "Boy, he's pretty loud tonight, isn't he?"

"Maybe he's looking for his mate," Laura offered. She tried to shift. "I guess these chairs weren't really made for two."

"Maybe," Crystal said, referring to the owl, though deep inside it sounded more like a cry of loneliness. Reluctantly she extricated herself from the tangle of arms and legs they had become and moved back to her own chair, though she made sure to keep it close enough that she was able to maintain some closeness, letting her bare feet brush against Laura's slippers. Reaching for her cigarettes, she lit one and took several drags before speaking again. "So now what?" she asked softly, half afraid of the possible answers.

"That depends on you," Laura answered. Crystal realized it was a calculated response, leaving everything, including when to take the next step, in her hands.

"What if I'm not sure?"

"Then I think the best thing is for you to wait until you are sure," Laura said, pressing her finger to Crystal's lips to silence her protest. "I told you there's no rush. I'm not going anywhere." Leaning forward, Laura replaced her finger with her lips. "Now put that thing out and get some sleep," she said when she pulled back and stood up. "I'll probably see if I can get some writing done. Always fighting those deadlines, you know."

Crystal put the cigarette out and rose as well, turning until they were face to face. "Why don't I believe you?" she asked. "You weren't writing earlier. I would have heard you typing."

"You can hear me in your room?"

"If both of us have the glass doors open, yeah." They were standing so close that it seemed only natural for Crystal to put her arms loosely around Laura's waist. "I listen to you sometimes." Closing her eyes, she leaned her head against the shoulder covered by silky material. "Your chair squeaks a little, you know," she whispered as if revealing some great secret. "I can tell when you're rereading what you've written or if you're just taking a break. I can tell when you're on a tear writing like crazy and when it seems like you're struggling just to get a sentence written. But tonight, you weren't working on your story at all."

"Know what was I doing?" Laura asked, mimicking Crystal's position with her arms, pulling her closer. "I was lying in bed listening to you moving around and" She took a deep breath before continuing. "I was worried about you. You're usually not that restless."

"I had a lot on my mind," Crystal said. "I guess you did too."

"Not a lot," the writer corrected. "Just one thing." That was all she had to say. Crystal understood and wondered which of them was more surprised when she leaned forward and initiated the kiss. Certainly Laura had been startled by her brazen move but to the older woman's credit, she recovered quickly and soon it was Crystal who found herself overwhelmed by a more experienced and insistent mouth. She felt the harde.g.of the table pressed against the back of her thighs but Crystal ignored it, concentrating more on what was going on with her front. Where previous life experiences had been hard and unyielding, Laura's body was soft, accommodating, molding against her own. A mouth that gave as well as took, hands that roamed but did not conquer, touching her neck, tilting her head back, making her feel desired and reveled at the same time.

"Oh." Gasping, she barely had time to register that Laura's mouth had left hers before she felt the electric sensation of those lips caressing her throat.

" so much," was all she could understand mumbled against her skin. Her own fingers found themselves buried in the dark hair, holding Laura close. She felt Laura's hand make a slow path down her side, stopping at the gap where her sweatshirt had ridden up slightly. There the fingers stopped, rubbing the exposed skin gently but making no attempt to go further. When she reached for Laura's shoulders, the lips that were burning over her skin stopped and she felt the loss of the warm weight against her upper body. "Crystal"

Crystal did not need experience with women to understand the timbre of Laura's voice. The meaning was clear. Anticipation, desire and even the jitters coursed through her. Nights of wondering what it would be like were about to be answered. Only now realizing she was sitting on the table, Crystal stood up and moved into Laura's waiting arms. Taking a deep breath, she reached down and entwined their fingers. "Yes," she whispered, searching out Laura's lips again. She began backing up, trusting that Laura would not let her bump into any of the furniture or walls. There was a pause as Laura reached out and Crystal heard the sound of the screen door sliding open, then it was a careful step backward over the threshold and into the immaculately kept bedroom.

There were no dirty clothes to trip over and within seconds Crystal felt the softness of the bed against the back of her legs. There she caught her breath as Laura stepped back and turned on the low wattage lamp next to the bed. After being out in the darkness of night for so long, Crystal had to blink for several seconds before the light no longer seemed so bright. "Hey

" Crystal's vision was filled with the most tender of looks from Laura. "I want this to be right," the writer whispered. "You tell me if you need to stop, all right?"

Crystal nodded, then felt a shudder run through her when Laura's hands cupped her cheeks. She allowed herself to be pulled into the kiss, letting her own hands move over the blue silk top to feel the warmth permeating through from Laura's shoulders. For unknown minutes they stood there next to the bed, kissing and holding each other but not making any attempts to further things along. Suspecting that it was she who had to take the next step, Crystal lazily ended the kiss and took a step back, locking her eyes with Laura's. "I'm scared," she admitted quietly, reaching down and hooking her fingers under thee.g.of the sweatshirt. "You'd think it wouldn't matter to me," she said, giving a short laugh. "After all, look at what I was doing six months ago."

"I know," Laura said, stepping forward and running her hands up and down Crystal's shoulders reassuringly. "But that was then and this is now. This isn't some stage with dozens of people looking at you. It's just you and me making love. We'll take it slow, and we won't do anything you're uncomfortable with, all right?"

Taking a deep breath, Crystal nodded and nervously pulled her sweatshirt up, closing her eyes as the gray material passed over her head. Letting the shirt drop to the floor, she moved forward, feeling the silky softness of Laura's top against her breasts as their lips met. She gasped when Laura's hands slid across her bare back, the feather light touch causing a powerful reaction in her body. "That feels good," she murmured.

"Not as good as it does to me," Laura answered in an equally low tone, her lips nipping Crystal's ear. Twin points jabbed against the blue silk, giving proof to the writer's words.

Crystal reached between them, her fingers closing around the top button of Laura's pajama top. "So I see," she said, releasing the first button. Before she realized it, she had all the buttons undone, the blue silk hanging open and showing the thinnest glimpse of bared flesh. She reached up to push it off Laura's shoulders but the hands that had been wreaking havoc with her senses moved to intercept her. "I'll get it," Laura said, shrugging her shoulders, sliding the top off and catching it with her left hand. Crystal released her hold and stepped back, watching Laura fold not only the blue top but her sweatshirt as well. When the writer bent over to set them on the trunk, Crystal came up from behind and ran her fingers lightly in small circles up and down Laura's back.

"Are you nervous?" she asked, making the circles larger and using both hands now.

"Probably just as much as you are," Laura said, still making no attempt to move, except to press harder into Crystal's roaming fingers.

"I'm glad it's not just me," Crystal said, moving forward and wrapping her arms around the writer's waist. Closing her eyes, she pressed her lips to Laura's back, feeling the muscle covered bones against her breasts, silk covered hips against her belly. Wrapping her arms around Laura's waist, Crystal splayed her hands out, her thumbs coming dangerously close to the firm swells.

Laura inhaled sharply and straightened up. "No, it's not just you, trust me," she said, turning in Crystal's arms until they were face to face. Crystal tightened her hold, enjoying the feel for the first time of soft breasts pressing against her own. As they kissed, the hands had been gently stroking Crystal's shoulders were now moving purposefully up and down her arms. "Do you trust me, Crystal?" the warm voice whispered in her ear.

"Yes," she answered. It took only a slight nudge for her to understand Laura's intent and recline against the bed, her lower legs dangling off the side. The comforter against her back might as well have been made of burlap when compared to the warm softness of Laura's body nestling her from the front.

"Hmm," Laura sighed between kisses. "I wish I could stay like this forever." Crystal gave a moan of agreement, her eyelids shuttering closed when she felt moist lips kissing a trail down her breastbone. Her body arched of its own volition, pressing her right breast against Laura's approaching mouth. "Easy," Laura said softly. "We have all the time in the world."

"Easy for you to say," she grumbled, threading her finger through Laura's dark hair. She was surprised when Laura propped herself up and stole a quick kiss.

"No it's not," the writer said. "I've wanted this for so long

" The roving lips found Crystal's right ear. "I'm going to show you just how much," she said before closing her mouth over the rosy nipple, already taut with anticipation.

The swirling tongue found its mark with pleasurable accuracy, drawing sounds Crystal thought herself incapable of making. Whether they were comprehensible or not, Laura seemed to understand them, moving from one breast to the other and back, lavishing more loving attention. Lifting her right leg, Crystal planted her heel on thee.g.of the bed and pressed upward, her need burning strong and demanding relief. Laura's hands and mouth moved down, the gentle fingers hooking around the elastic waistband of the sweatpants. "Yes," she sighed, lifting her hips in answer to the question in Laura's hesitation. Goosebumps formed on the newly revealed flesh, but whether it was from the feeling of Laura's fingers on her skin or the cool air on her overheated skin, Crystal could not be sure. All she knew was that it never, absolutely never felt as good as this. She watched tolerantly as Laura folded the sweatpants before setting them with the tops. "Come here," she whispered, needing to feel Laura's body against hers. Seeking those wonderful lips, Crystal used her strength to roll their bodies over so not only was she on top but they were diagonal on the bed. Their position gave Laura limited access to anything other than Crystal's back but the writer wasted no time in exploring what she could. "That feels good," Crystal said, rocking gently against the hands rubbing her buttocks.

"Good," Laura said, giving a gentle squeeze. "All I want is for you to feel good." She started to reach lower but was stopped. "Wait." Crystal sat up, resting her hands on Laura's upper chest. "I just," she began, taking in the sight of the body she was straddling. Swallowing heavily, she slowly brought her hands down, the tips of her fingers moving over the tops of Laura's breasts, stopping just shy of the dark erect nipples. "You're beautiful," she whispered. "I don't" Her voice cracked and she had to start again. "I don't know what you like."

"You're doing fine," Laura reassured her, taking one of Crystal's hands and kissing the palm. Their eyes locked, Crystal allowed her hand to be guided back to the breast, Laura's warm hand pressing hers against the soft flesh. Nervously Crystal closed her fingers, feeling the stiff peak being tenderly squeezed between them. Laura moaned and pressed her head back. "Yes, Crystal," she sighed. "That's nice." Crystal did the same with her other hand and received another sound of pleasure from Laura's lips. Her actions also caused the hips beneath her to rise, pressing her intimate center against Laura's soft belly. Crystal could feel her own wetness and was certain that last little rise made the writer aware of it as well. Laura's hands, which had been running restlessly up and down her back now wrapped around her, holding her as their positions were reversed, Crystal now lying on her back and looking up at the woman about to make love to her.

"Laura," she whispered, touching the thighs covered in blue silk. The heat against her lower abdomen confirmed Laura's rising desire. "Please take these off." Like a voyeur, Crystal found herself unable to tear her eyes away from the sight as Laura stood and pushed the blue silk off her hips. Unlike the hair on Laura's head, which tended to have little in the way of body, the dark triangle was made of small tight curls, the ones near the folds glistening with telltale moisture. The pajama bottoms joined the other clothes on the trunk then Crystal enjoyed the feel of Laura's warmth against her, her body tingling at the renewed contact. She felt the wetness pressing against her thigh as their lips met, knew her own was making its mark against Laura's skin as their bodies moved against each other.

Crystal's breath caught when Laura shifted to the side, lips closing around her nipple while a roaming hand moved over her hip, circling closer and closer to her own golden curls. Crystal's senses were on overload trying to handle all the different sensations at once. The soft, gentle mouth moving over her breasts, the warm body pressed against her own, the fingers begging her to surrender with the promise of the ultimate of rewards. Taking a leap of faith in both herself and in Laura, Crystal parted her thighs further, granting the writer full access. And then it was there, that magical moment when one lone digit moved between her slick folds and rasped across her bundle of nerves. "Ungh, oh Laura!" she cried, jerking her hips to repeat the motion. At one point Crystal had wondered if she would even be able to achieve orgasm with another woman, now she worried that should would all too soon. It had been so long since she had allowed another person to touch her and never before had it been so gentle, so tender and caressing. Laura seemed to know just how to touch her and for how long, never staying in one place too long before moving on, the slippery fingers quickly learning all of Crystal's secrets. The gasps were now steady, mixed with throaty cries that only vaguely resembled Laura's name as the tsunami grew within her. Grabbing Laura's shoulder tightly, Crystal held on as the wave grew larger and larger, her thighs trembling helplessly. She cried out when the wave finally crashed through, washing away all sense as she clung desperately to the anchor in her storm. Laura's soft voice filled her ear, whispering nonsense words meant to comfort as the writer's thigh replaced her fingers against Crystal's center. Smaller tremors rippled through her as she sought the safety and comfort of Laura's arms.

"Are you okay?" Laura asked in a low voice after a moment, giving Crystal time to get her breathing back to something close to normal. Crystal nodded, kissing the skin so close to her lips. "I can't believe" Shaking her head, she gave a nervous laugh. "I'm usually not loud like that."

"I'll take that as a compliment," Laura said, tilting Crystal's head up long enough to kiss the embarrassment away. "I loved hearing you calling out my name." Her hand moved down Crystal's side. "I'd love to hear it again," she said, lightly gripping the outer thigh.

Crystal smiled and stilled the roaming hand. "I don't know if I could take that again. Besides," she said, gently nudging Laura onto her back. "Don't you want me to

, you know take care of you?" She bent down and kissed the soft hollow of Laura's throat. "I want to," she whispered, kissing her way down. Closing her eyes, she felt as much as heard the sharp intake of breath as she kissed her way along the rising swell. There was some nervousness but Crystal ignored it, encouraged by the feel of Laura's hands on the back of her head. Listening to the hums of pleasure coming from Laura's lips, she concentrated her tongue along the pebbly flesh, tasting another woman's breast for the first time. Crystal bit a little too hard once in her enthusiasm but quickly learned the limits and soon was enjoying the sound of her name being repeated over and over in the most husky trill from Laura's mouth. She needed to touch everywhere, to bring Laura to that pinnacle that she herself had been at only minutes earlier, to learn the beautiful body beneath hers.

And learn Crystal did. From the ticklish spot below the left rib to the fine dusting of hairs below the navel that formed goosebumps when she ran her tongue along them, she learned it all. Laura's secrets were revealed to her in unfolding layers as she drew the writer higher and higher. She learned the right amount of pressure to use, the rhythm needed to meet her lover's body's demands. She felt awed by the emotional power of feeling Laura's intimate muscles clenching around her fingers, of feeling the tremors rippling through her lover. They made love again, sharing soft words and tender touches before falling asleep in each other's arms. There were no nightmares for Crystal, the warm body next to her protected her from the demons of sleep as the knights of old protected the fair maidens. In Laura's arms, there was no danger, only the safety and comfort that came from being loved.