Crystal's Heart

Chapter Ninth

With the radio playing low, Laura quietly moved about the first floor, giving it a good cleaning right down to moving the table and chairs out of the way to mop and dusting all the woodwork. By the time the morning sun broke over the horizon, the kitchen and living room were spotless and once again up to Laura's standards. Hearing Crystal's alarm going off upstairs, Laura put the frying pan on the stove and retrieved a coffee mug from the cupboard. Reasoning that the previous day had been hard on her roommate, Laura was determined to at least get Crystal's day off to a good start. When the blonde came downstairs several minutes later, her hair still damp from the shower, she was greeted with a plate of scrambled eggs, toast and a steaming cup of coffee. "I thought you could use a good breakfast before your busy day," Laura said as she set the mug down on the table.

"Good morning to you too," Crystal said as she took her seat. "What time did you get up?"

"Actually I never went to bed. I think the night owl in me is trying to get out." Laura picked up her empty mug and walked over to the coffee maker. "I had a period once when I was writing my last book where I couldn't sleep at night for almost a month. What time do you think you'll be home tonight? I have some fresh sea bass I can defrost. Some lemon pepper and rice and it's a meal fit for a king."

"My lip looks better," Crystal said quietly. "I have to go to the club after work and see what's going on."

"I thought all you had to do was pick up your paycheck?" Laura asked as she took her seat at the table.

"I never said I was quitting, just that I would think about it. You know I make more an hour working at the club than I do working for Michael." Crystal pushed her fork through the scrambled eggs. "Maybe I can work at the club part time and keep both jobs."

"Nothing like burning your candle at both ends. Couldn't you find another job at the club besides taking your clothes off? Don't they have waitresses?"

"They didn't hire me to wait tables, Laura. My job there is to go out on stage and take my clothes off to music."

Laura tried not to let the disappointment show in her face. "I don't think working there is a good idea. Look what happened to you. Who knows what could happen if you go back."

"Well, I'm not going to know what's going on until I get there. For all I know, they replaced me and I don't have a job to go back to." I can only wish, Laura thought to herself. "I'm sure Michael will give you extra hours if you need the money. He's good about things like that."

"I can make in one night of dancing with tips what Michael pays me for three days work. That kind of money is hard to pass up." Crystal drained her coffee mug. "We'll see what happens."

"What if I lowered your rent?" Laura knew she could never afford to lose the extra money that Crystal's rent gave but thei.e.of the blonde taking her clothes off for a bunch of horny men was even harder to swallow.

"No, the rent is more than reasonable. Speaking of which, you need to tell me what my half of the utilities are so I can pay you. I'm sure you've gotten some bills in." Crystal shoved the last forkful ofeg.into her mouth. "The best time to hit me up for money is tonight after I pick up my check. Wait until tomorrow and I might have it spent already."

"Don't worry about it. I don't think your share is more than fifty dollars or so."

"Oh please. There's the lights and cable not to mention the phone. I'm sure I've made the water bill go up too."

"The complex takes care of the water bills and you never use the phone."

"I'm still responsible for half of the phone bill whether I use it or not," Crystal said, putting her fork down and pushing the plate away. "That was very good, thanks."

"You're welcome." Laura took a sip of her coffee, trying hard not to bring up the subject of the Tom Cat Club again. Finally it was Crystal that could stand the silence no longer.

"Look, I know you don't like the i.e.of me stripping"

"No I don't," Laura agreed.

"But it's what I did before you met me and most likely it's something that I will continue to do. I may not be proud of it, I may not even like it most of the time but I can't walk away from the good money it gives."

"There has to be a point where the money isn't enough to keep degrading yourself like that."

"Well if there is, I haven't found it yet," Crystal said firmly. "It's legal and certainly a damn lot better than working the alley behind the place, that's for sure."

"I'll agree with you there," Laura admitted. "Can you at least promise that you won't do that, no matter how hard things might seem to be?" This time Laura earned at least the hint of smile from Crystal.

"I haven't done that in years and I have no intention of doing it again. Those days are behind me."

"And maybe someday stripping will be behind you too."

"Maybe. Right now I have to finish getting ready for work and write in my journal before Doc has my head." To Laura's surprise, Crystal reached out and clasped her hand. "Listen, about last night" The hand retreated and the blonde looked at her empty plate. "Thanks for listening. I

I've never told anyone all of that before."

"Anytime you need to talk, I'll be here."

"I would have thought you'd be shocked and disgusted by all of that."

Laura reached out and cupped Crystal's chin, forcing the blue eyes to meet her own. "Yes, most of what you told me was shocking but as for disgust, any that I have is toward your father, none of it toward you." She let go of Crystal's chin, pleased that the young woman didn't turn away but continued to meet her gaze. "It takes a great deal of courage to survive something like that and even more to share with someone about what happened."

"I didn't tell you everything, you know. I figured if I told you everything at once that you'd go screaming out of the room."

"That'll never happen," Laura assured. "Anything you want to tell me, I'll listen."

"You know, sometimes you remind me of Patty. She was really patient with me."

"I'm sure if I met Patty that I'd like her too." Laura looked at her watch. "But you're right, you need to get ready if you're going to get to work on time. You'd better not have left that bathroom a mess."

"Your definition of a mess and mine are totally different but I made sure the towels were picked up and the sink was wiped down." "Close enough. I'll clean it later." Laura watched Crystal rise to her feet. "Can you at least call me and let me know what time you're coming home tonight?"

"Sure." She reached for her plate only to have Laura stop her.

"I'll get them. You go get ready."

The parking lot of the Tom Cat Club was blissfully empty when Crystal pulled in. After a quick check in the rear view mirror to make sure everything was in place, she walked over to the side door and pressed the doorbell. With three hours before the first show, Crystal was certain she would be able to find Rick in his office.

"Crystal!" the burly bouncer said in surprise when he opened the door.

"Hi Randy. Is Rick in?"

"Yeah, he's up by the bar talking to someone. Come on in." The muscle bound man stepped aside and waved his hand. "So when are you coming back?"

"I'm not sure. I have to talk to Rick first."

"Well talk nice. He's been a really fucked up mood the last couple of weeks. Sara and Monica both quit on him and he just found out today that someone's been helping themselves to the liquor. We're about ten cases short."

"Oh great," she moaned. Rick was hard enough to deal with when things were going well. When they weren't, he could be almost impossible to reason with.

"Just use your charm," Randy said. "After the week he's been having, seeing you will brighten up his day."

"We'll see about that," Crystal said nervously as she headed down the hallway.

Rick wasn't at the bar but rather in his office by the time Crystal found him. His door was slightly ajar, allowing her to see him pouring over the club's ledgers. Well here goes nothing. "Rick?" she called, knocking lightly on the open door.

"Crystal, what a pleasant surprise," he said, pointing toward a chair. "Come in and have a seat. I was hoping you'd stop by. I paged you a couple of time but you never returned my call. I was beginning to think we'd never see you again."

"I told you I'd be back after my lip healed," she said as she took a seat.

"Well you look great. Maybe put on a pound or two but you can take that off with no problem, I'm sure. After all, can't hide anything in a G-string, can you?"

"Um, no I guess not. Rick, about coming back to work"

"Oh man, you have no i.e.how hard it's been lately," he continued, pulling a cigarette out of his pack and lighting it. "First Sara says her boyfriend won't let her work anymore and then Monica goes and has one of her little fits and quits on me. I'm telling you, you are a gift from heaven walking in that door."

Oh great. Lay it on, Rick. Deciding that if she let Rick keep on talking he'd have her on stage in ten minutes, Crystal took a deep breath and played the carefully rehearsed lines in her mind one more time.

"It's kinda late notice but I think I can get you in tonight for a set or two."

"Actually that's what I wanted to talk to you about."

"Well what? You did come to tell me you were ready to come back to work, didn't you?" The joviality he showed when she first stepped into his office was quickly disappearing.

"I'm not sure I want to do the shows anymore."

"Not sure? What the hell are you talking about?" Rick leaned forward, making the large desk separating them seem smaller and smaller. "What else are you going to do?"

"What about waitressing? Or even helping behind the bar?"

"Men don't pay good money to see your ass sitting behind the bar, they pay it to see you up on stage taking it off for them." "Well maybe I'm tired of taking it off for them, maybe I want to do something else."

"Crystal Crystal Crystal," he said in the most condescending tone she had ever heard. "Look, if you're trying to hustle me for more money it isn't going to work."

"It isn't about the money."

"Well what is it about then?" the manager asked angrily. "I don't need another waitress or bartender. What I need and what I hired you for is to put your ass up on stage and wiggle that fanny for whoever is holding the almighty dollar, you got that?"

"Yeah I got it, Rick," she replied just as angrily. "You know you're not the one up there. You don't have to put up with those greaseballs trying to touch your body. I'm sick of it."

"So why the fuck are you here, huh? You find yourself a new boyfriend or something and he's putting you up to this?" Rick smiled, thinking he had figured out the problem. "I'll tell you what. You can tell your boyfriend you're waitressing if that makes you feel better."

"I don't have a boyfriend. That's not why I'm doing this," Crystal insisted, lighting a cigarette. "I'm just tired of stripping."

Rick let out a long breath and leaned back in his chair. "When you first came here, you didn't have a dime to your name. I don't think you even had a car then." He shook his head. "I don't know. I'm just trying to help you here. You're lucky to have a job like this. You know how many women would love to have a chance to be the star of the show?" With a heavy sigh, Rick opened his desk drawer and pulled out a manila folder. "I was going to save this for later but since you leave me no other choice remember I told you I wanted to talk to you after the show that night?"

"Yeah?"

"I was going to offer you a chance to make some real money. Not the ones and fives you get here but twenties and fifties." There's only one way to make that kind of money, Crystal thought to herself.

"I'm not planning on working here forever, answering to some corporate head in New York. I have this side business going and I was planning on giving you a chance to make some serious cash with it."

"Rick, you know I don't"

"Relax, babe. I'm talking about a few private parties, not standing out on the corner. And hey, if you want to make a few extra bucks that I don't know about, fine by me so long as the customer is satisfied."

The walls began to close in and Crystal quickly turned her head to see the door still ajar. Knowing that escape was easy, she forced herself to stay in her seat. "I can't do that Rick. You know how those kind of things turn out and I won't turn tricks for you."

"Babe, we're not talking about turning tricks, just a few private parties. You're blowing this all out of proportion." He put the folder back in his desk. "But if you want to waste the rest of your life working the club, go ahead. Six months from now I'll be able to quit this place and be a self made man. If you want to jump on the bandwagon you're welcome to but don't think for a minute that you're going to do anything here but be a kitten on stage." Rick stood up, his six foot frame towering over her seated position. "So it seems you have a choice to make sweetheart. Get your ass in costume and get to work or hit the streets. The choice is yours."

Now the office was definitely too small for her comfort. Crystal had hoped to come back part time if she couldn't get a job off stage but Rick made it clear that was not an option. She also knew that if she came back to work that Rick would never leave her alone until she was working his private parties, entertaining visiting businessmen in the horizontal fashion. Well Laura, I guess you got your wish. "If I can have my last paycheck I'll get out of here."

"Should have known you'd make the stupid choice," Rick said, walking over to the file cabinet. "You aren't going to find anyone who'll pay you what I was paying you to shake those tits around. I can't believe you're giving up this chance." He removed an envelope from the file cabinet and threw it on the desk. "Don't even think of trying to file for unemployment."

"Don't worry, I wasn't planning on it." Crystal rose to her feet and picked up the envelope containing her last paycheck. As she turned around, she found herself face to chest with the intimidating club manager.

"You know out of all the girls I've seen come in and out of this place you were the one I could have made something out of but you always thought you were too good, didn't you? Look but don't touch Crystal, right?" He stepped closer, forcing her to step back until she felt the unyielding hardness of the wooden desk behind her. "Someone should have taken you over their knee long ago and taught you some manners."

"Let me go, Rick," she said, trying to step to the side. The angry man quickly moved to cut off her escape.

"Maybe you just never had a man to teach you how to behave, is that it?"

"Rick, please, just let me leave." Crystal's heart pounded furiously in her chest.

"Hey Rick." Randy pushed the door fully open. "The delivery guy is demanding payment before he unloads. Something about our bill being too high. Sorry, didn't know you were busy."

"I was just leaving," Crystal said, moving past Rick and practically shoving Randy out of the way in her haste to escape. She felt a sense of relief when she reached the long hallway that led to the side door. Does he think I'm stupid or something? No way in hell I'm going to work for him anymore. I was stupid to think he'd to anything to try and help me. She pressed down on the crash bar and was greeted by the stark gray of the parking lot. Reaching her car, Crystal found her hands were shaking as she tried to get the key into the lock. It didn't help that she kept looking back at the door fearing Rick would come bursting forth. By the time she was inside her car, Crystal found tears she couldn't explain running down her cheeks. I have to get away from here. I have to get home. Not bothering to wipe her eyes, Crystal put the car in gear and sped out of the parking lot.

The townhouse was dark when Crystal arrived home, save for the single bulb illuminating the front door. A quick look around showed no sign of Laura's Jeep. Wonder where she went, Crystal thought as she made her way up the short walk to the door.

Tossing her keys on the table, Crystal walked into the kitchen, feeling around in the dark for the light switch. Looking at the door of the refrigerator, she frowned to see no note waiting for her. "She'll probably be back in a minute," she said to the empty room. What did she say she wanted for dinner? Some kind of fish. Wrinkling her nose at the thought, Crystal opened the freezer and pulled out a frozen pizza. What the hell, at least it's edible. A few minutes later the pizza was in the oven and Crystal was sprawled out on the couch. With the television remote in her hand, she began flicking through the channels. Boring, crap, boring, oh God not the Waltons. No, no, naw, Oh please that is so fake. Who the hell is going to believe two guys can beat the hell out each other like that and still be standing? Sixty channels and there's nothing on. Settling on a game show, she tossed the remote on the coffee table and looked at her watch. Where the hell are you? I thought you were going to be home tonight.

Two hours later the pizza was long gone and Crystal found herself sitting in the quiet living room staring at the clock on the wall. The television had been shut off in favor of the radio which proved to be no more entertaining and it also found itself shut off. Come on Laura, where are you? Her question was answered when she heard the sound of a key being put into the lock on the front door. Crystal jumped to her feet and opened the door. "Where the hell have you been?" she demanded.

"Hi there. I didn't expect you to be home yet," Laura said, her arms full of white plastic grocery bags. "I figured I'd get some shopping in. We're almost out of everything."

Crystal followed her roommate into the kitchen. "How long can that take? I've been home since seven."

Laura set the bags down on the counter and began putting the groceries away in the cupboard. "I go over to the super center near the interstate. They have the best prices but it usually is a mob scene there. Took me almost half an hour just to get through the checkout line." Laura peered into the bag. "I hope you like oranges. They were on sale so I picked up two bags "

"Forget the oranges for a minute," Crystal said. "You couldn't have left me a note? I had no i.e.where you were." Taking the jar of olives, she opened the refrigerator and carelessly tossed them on the shelf. "You bitch at me to make sure and let you know when I'm not coming home but you couldn't take two seconds to leave me a note?"

"I'm sorry but I didn't think you'd be home until later. You said you were going to the Tom Cat Club and I figured when you weren't home by six that you wouldn't be in until later," Laura said, neatly folding the empty grocery bags.

"Yeah well I've been here staring at the walls for the last two hours wondering where the hell you were. Give me those." Taking the bags of oranges, she walked back over to the fridge. "You'll be happy to know I'm not working at the Tom Cat anymore," she said, shoving the oranges into the bottom drawers.

"Yes, I am happy to hear that and easy on those. I wanted oranges, not orange juice."

"I had a rotten day at work and if one more moron insists on playing that damn rap shit I'm going to shove that frigging boom box down his throat. Then I go see Rick and he's his usual conniving asshole self then I get home and you're nowhere in sight." She jerked the pound of butter out of Laura's hand. To Crystal's annoyance, her roommate was smirking. "What the hell's so funny?"

"It's nice to know you care," Laura said, handing over the bottle of milk. "Did you eat?"

"I made a pizza but it tasted more like the box it came in. What about you?"

"Not yet. It's too late now. I'll just grab a snack."

"I thought you were going to make fish and rice or something like that."

"Sea bass and rice. I'll make it tomorrow night. The fish will keep." Laura handed over the last of the groceries and put the bags away. "So tell me what happened at the Tom Cat."

"Oh Rick was just being a jerk. Screw it. I hated working for him anyway. He's too sleazy." Crystal put the can of soup into the cupboard before heading for the sliding glass door. "I'm going out for a smoke."

Fall was definitely on its way. The temperature was dropping quickly, making the usually balmy evenings just a memory. A particularly cold burst of wind caused Crystal to shiver and she had to cup her hand in front of the lighter to keep the flame from going out before the cigarette was lit. I'll be damned if I'm coming out here in the winter. Guess I'll have to go up to my room if I want a smoke from now on. Ah fuck what a day. Slumping into the plastic patio chair, she casually tossed her feet up on the railing, crossing her ankles and leaning back so only two of the four chair legs were touching the deck. It was too dark to see anything except dark shadows cast by the light from the kitchen. Crystal took advantage of the darkness to brood over the day's events. Tomorrow we'll finish the seventh floor then I don't know what Michael will have me do. Shit, what if he doesn't come with something else? Naw, he's got to. He knows I need the job and he always smiles at me when he sees me. He'll find something else for me to do. Turning her head at the sound of the door sliding open, Crystal watched Laura step out onto the deck.

"Care for some company?" Laura sat down without waiting for an answer. "Are you sure you don't want something else to eat?" "Naw, I'm all set. Not really hungry anyway." Crystal reached up with her free hand and rubbed her upper arm. "Damn it's getting cold out here." "That's what happens when you live in the northeast. Summer leaves, Fall arrives and before you know it you're up to your hips in snow."

"Oh don't mention snow. That's the last thing I want to think about. That rust bucket of mine gives out practically nothing in the way of heat. I can let that thing warm up for half an hour in the morning and it wouldn't clear the whole windshield." Crystal reached out in the dark, feeling for the ashtray she knew was on the table. "Guess I can't ask for much for five hundred dollars. I'm lucky it moves at all."

"Jenny bought that Thing for five hundred too," Laura said. "It was her project for about a year. Every warm day she was out there playing Miss Mechanic. I can think of a dozen cars more interesting to restore than that orange monstrosity."

"I take it you don't like the square pumpkin on wheels?"

"It's more than just the car. I've gotten used to it by now but when she first got it we were having problems and Jenny using the kitchen sink as a place to clean her engine parts and tools didn't help the situation."

"So are you ever gonna tell me what happened between you two or is that going to stay some deep dark secret?" Crystal asked, withdrawing her feet from the railing and sitting up in her seat. Her curiosity was piqued and since Laura mentioned it she wasn't about to let the subject drop without trying.

"It certainly isn't a secret but it's also not something I like to talk about," Laura said. "Are you done with that cigarette? I'd rather talk inside where it's nice and warm."

After taking a quick detour to the bathroom, Laura and Crystal settled at opposite ends of the couch, both using the armrest as a backrest. "All right, so what happened?" Crystal urged.

"Well" Laura rubbed her face with her hands, taking a few extra seconds to focus her thoughts. "You have to understand that this happened about four and half years ago. It was for both of us our first serious long term relationship and I thought we'd be together forever no matter what. I had just released my third book and it was doing well in the lesbian circles. I even had a few write ups in the major lesbian magazines. I was getting a fair share of fan mail and I let my newfound fame get in the way of my relationship. The breakup was completely my fault." Laura looked away.

"What did you do? Doc seems like she'd forgive just about anything."

"Jenny is a very forgiving and understanding woman but she couldn't take having her trust violated the way I did it." Laura looked up at Crystal. "This isn't something that's easy for me to talk about. I loved Jenny very much and I still do. If I could go back and change what happened I would in a heartbeat." Laura face mirrored the guilt she felt in her heart. "But time isn't something I have any ability to change and once a trust is ruined it can't be restored."

"I don't get it," Crystal said. "You and Jenny both seem to be these 'deep in touch with your feelings' kinda people. You two couldn't have worked whatever it was out?"

"Apparently not," the writer said sadly. "We tried for about six months but we just couldn't get past it. Jenny waited until after Christmas to finally make her decision and move out." Laura shook her head sadly. "It was pretty much over by then anyway. Jenny was sleeping in the spare room by then anyway."

"Jeez, I guess you did piss her off."

"Infidelity will do that," Laura said. "I had a brief affair with a fan while I was in Colorado at a lesbian writer's festival."

"And you didn't think Doc would find out?"

"I didn't plan on it to happen. Well, I guess deep inside maybe I did. I knew Lisa was interested in me she had made it clear to me more than once that she didn't care I had a lover. I knew she was going to be there and I didn't say a word to Jenny about it."

"So when the cat's away the mice will play?"

"It wasn't like that," Laura protested. "I had plenty of opportunities before that to be with other women and I never ever took them up on the offer." The writer leaned back and ran her fingers through her dark hair. "This is going to sound so shallow but I let myself become attracted to all the attention and fawning Lisa was giving me. I worked for a year and a half on Moonbeam Mysteries and now I was getting my due for all that hard work. I was on the recommended lists and when I was at that conference I felt like a celebrity. That had never happened to me before. From the moment I walked into the hotel Lisa was by my side, getting me drinks, sitting next to me in every workshop, following me around like a puppy."

"Sounds more like a fox than a puppy," Crystal said. "So she wanted the great writer and she got you, hmm?"

"I didn't just open the door to my hotel room and rip all her clothes off. We were there for five days and it didn't happen until the last night." "So how did Doc find out? Your guilty conscience?"

"No. That's probably what hurt her the most. She found out by accident. After I got home from the conference, Lisa wouldn't stop emailing me. I told her that it was a one time thing and couldn't happen again, that I was in love with Jenny, all of that. Sometimes I'd have four or more pieces of email from her a day. I finally stopped answering them hoping she'd get the message."

"And she didn't, right?"

"Oh, she got it all right. Lisa became angry when I wouldn't answer her emails and began calling here. I even called the phone company to change my number but before they could get it done Lisa had called while I was out and left a rather detailed message on the answering machine about what happened in Colorado. Jenny got home before I did."

"Oh boy," Crystal said, shaking her head. "You fucked up good, didn't you?"

"I most certainly did although I wouldn't use quite the same words to describe it."

"Of course not, Mary Poppins but that's what you did."

"Yeah it is. I messed things up horribly. I should have known something was up when I came home and all Jenny wanted to talk about was the conference. It was at least a month later and I never made the connection."

"So you pretended nothing had happened, right?"

"Exactly. Then Jenny played the message on the machine and I just about died. After lying to her there was no way I could minimize the damage that message caused. I think after that Jenny spent all her free time working on that Thing and I spent my time hiding up in the bedroom writing. We grew apart and it got to where we wouldn't even go to bed at the same time anymore." Laura looked away sadly and wiped her eyes. "But the night Jenny slept in the spare room instead of coming to bed with me, that was when I knew it was over."

"That really sucks," Crystal said quietly. "I don't know what to say."

"I've never really talked about it. Peter and Michael knew we were having problems but they made it a point not to take sides or get involved. Even now Peter knows only the barest details about what happened." Laura shook her head. "But I guess it's all water under the bridge now. I live here and Jenny lives there. I suppose it all worked out for the best anyway. We're still very close as you can tell."

"Do you want her back?" Crystal asked, needing to satisfy her curiosity.

"I tried for quite a while after she moved out but now I think things are best the way they are. I think being single suits me." The dark haired writer leaned back, sinking further into the overstuffed couch cushions. "At least that's what my track record tells me."

"Yeah, I don't see any great romances in my future either," Crystal lamented. "You remember those colored cubes back when we were kids? The ones with different colors on each side and you had to get all the same colors on the same side?"

"A Rubik's Cube," Laura said. "Yes, I remember them."

"Sometimes I feel like one. Like I'm all mixed up and I'll never get everything back in order again." A mischievous grin came to her lips. "I used to break it apart and put the pieces back in the right way."

"I bought the book on how to solve them," Laura admitted. "I hated not being able to solve them."

"I bet you showed off to all your friends about it too, didn't you?"

"Me?" Laura feigned an innocent look. "I have no deep inner need for approval." The innocent face lasted for barely a second more before she broke into a smile. "Everyone who had one they couldn't solve knew to bring it to me. I could do those and the snake ones too."

"Figures. My friends came to me for cigarettes," Crystal said proudly. "Patty showed me how to get them. The bowling alley had a cigarette machine in the same room as the video games. I'd buy a pack for three bucks and charge my friends twenty-five cents per cigarette. That's how Patty and I had any spending money."

"Ah, you were the kind of girl my mother warned me not to hang around with," Laura said with a smile. "She thought keeping me away from the bad element would make me grow up to be a prim and proper military wife like her. Her best chance at grandchildren and I turn out to be a lesbian mystery writer with no intentions of parenthood."

"I'm sure the scrapbooks just open right up at our mother's places, eh?" Crystal said with a wry smile. She sat up straight and pantomimed opening a scrapbook. "Here's your mother showing off pictures of you graduating high school." The blonde pretended to turn the page. "Here you are graduating college. Oh what a catch. Brains and beauty. I bet she was thinking about your wedding as the next pages."

"Right down to the color of garter belt and order of songs," Laura agreed, assuming the same position and opening an imaginary scrapbook of her own. "She had it all planned for years. The only thing missing was the dashing young military boy to marry me off to. The best she could look forward to was a blessing ceremony Jenny and I had here in the back yard and I think she was madder that I didn't let her plan it than who I was committing myself to. She came to it but didn't take any pictures. Must have complained to me six times about the centerpieces not being symmetrical."

"Yeah, isn't it horrible how we manage to disappoint our mothers so much?" Crystal asked, turning the fake page. "Mine didn't even get a high school graduate. I can just imagine what she'd put in hers." Crystal shifted slightly and pretended to be her own mother opening a scrapbook. "Oh look, here's my Patty and Crystal with the police officer right after they were caught taking candy bars from Coulson's drug store. Oh, and here's my little angels with another nice police officer after they were banned from the mall for shoplifting."

"At least you were consistent," Laura joked.

"Yeah, she probably figured we'd be in jail by the time we were adults," Crystal said with a touch of bitterness in her voice. "Jail or shacked up with some useless drunk and a couple of kids like her."

"That's the wonderful thing about being an adult," Laura said gently. "We don't have to live up, or live down as the case may be, to our parent's expectations. Like it or not, we all disappoint our mothers at some point or another. Look at me, I may not be in quite the same position as you but I'm certainly not the devoted military wife that my mother thought I'd be. You think she proudly touts me to all her friends?" She shook her head. "Trust me, Mom talks about Bobby graduating and which college he's off to but she tries her damnedest not mention me to her friends."

"Why? I mean, you have your degree and all. You're a writer and all that."

"A lesbian mystery writer," Laura clarified. "If she mentions that I'm a writer, they want to go buy the book and that's the last thing she wants to happen. You have to remember my parents are republicans. They're still not thrilled with the don't ask, don't tell rule."

"But I saw her here that day. She seemed happy with you."

"Oh she is for the most part," Laura said. "There's just certain things about my life that she doesn't like, my sexuality being number one of course. But it's not just that. Mom likes theater, I don't. She likes long boring trips to museums and art galleries. I'd rather go bowling or play softball. I'm not the daughter she imagined I would be and that's not always the easiest thing for a parent to handle. There was a time when she would find excuses not to stop over when Jenny and I were together but that was a long time ago. She's gotten past that and accepted me as I am, differences and all."

"Must be nice," Crystal said, shifting back into a more comfortable position on the couch. "I don't think my mother could ever accept me." Running her fingers through her blonde hair quickly, she added. "You know something? It's nice to know your life isn't perfect either." Laura laughed. "Far from it, Crystal. I have problems just like you do, it's just that I have a different set. We're not so different." "Like night and day you neat freak."

"You might be right about that, chimney stack," the writer teased back. "But I think I'll keep you around anyway." The comment earned Laura a rare full smile from her roommate. "Now there's something I like to see."

"Yeah well don't get used to it," Crystal growled playfully. "I wouldn't want it to get around and ruin my reputation."

Laura picked the remote up from coffee table and turned the television on. "I think there's a basketball game on tonight. You like women's college basketball?"

"I don't follow it or anything but if I see it on I might watch it once in a while," Crystal said, watching the channels flick by as Laura repeatedly pressed the button. When the dizzying pictures stopped, it was on the game. "I'm going to get something to drink. You want anything?" Laura asked as she got up.

"Beer but I think I'm out. You got any cola?"

"Just bought some. You want it straight or with that rotgut you drink?"

Crystal hopped off the couch and headed for the stairs. "I like my drinks with a little kick in them," she said. "Just get the glass, I'll take care of mixing it."

While Crystal was upstairs, Laura went to the kitchen. How much can she drink at this hour? Not more than a couple, I'm sure. She has to work in the morning. Humming a familiar tune to herself, Laura opened the cupboard and removed two glasses. So you were worried about me, hmm? I bet that's something you haven't done in a while. Laura was certain the walls Crystal had put up were quickly crumbling. While she hasn't meant to reveal the reason behind her breakup with Jenny, Laura realized it was important for her to be able to reveal her secrets to Crystal if she wanted her roommate to continue to share personal things. A brightly colored glass almost completely hidden in the back of the cupboard caught her attention. I forgot all about this one, she thought as she pulled it out and looked at it. Perfect. This has to make her smile. Putting away the glass she originally chose for Crystal, Laura filled both with ice and was just opening the soda when her roommate came down the stairs.

"Sorry, took me a minute to find it," the blonde said, walking into the kitchen and unscrewing the top of her bottle. The distinct scent that followed her told Laura the real reason she took so long.

"No problem. I'm surprised you can find anything in that disaster area." Had to take a couple of hits while you were up there, didn't you? One of these days you'll see you don't need that to protect yourself. I won't hurt you. "So what kind of a drink is this one going to be? A little taste of the grain or is this a killer knock you under the table drink?"

Crystal laughed and began pouring the whiskey into the glass. "This is an average end of the day, sit back and relax drink." "Oh, three parts whiskey, one part soda?"

"Don't forget about thei.e.that has to count too," Crystal said.

"Yes, you're right. Three parts whiskey, one part soda, one parti.e.Better?"

"Now you've got it." In reality Crystal only poured the equivalent of one shot of liquor into her drink, barely lightening the dark color formed by the cola. Laura wondered if the drink would have been stronger had she not teased Crystal about it but decided it didn't matter. They were going to relax on the couch and watch an exciting game of basketball together.

"Cute glass."

"You like?"

"It's nice." Crystal held up the yellow glass and looked at the brightly colored words proclaiming that she should smile because someone loves her. "Corny but nice."

"Well, it's true," Laura said, taking the soda bottle from her. "Whether you like it or not, people do love and care about you." "Uh huh," Crystal said dubiously, picking up Laura's glass. "I'll take these out there."

"Make sure you use a coaster."

Crystal feigned shock. "I wouldn't dream of doing anything else," she said.

"Sure, I believe that," Laura said. "I believe that as much as I believe you have some prime swampland in Florida for sale." "Cheap too," Crystal replied. "I'll make you an offer you can't refuse."

An hour later the two empty glasses sat on coasters on the coffee table, the ice having long since melted away. The score was lopsided, the visitors taking advantage of the home team's bad luck when their leading scorer fouled out early in the game. Laura found her attention often wandering away from the television to a more interesting subject. Crystal's hair was in need of a visit from a brush, the blonde locks going in all different directions. Laura's gaze moved down, studying the delicate curve of Crystal's nose and the soft full lips. There was no doubt that her roommate was beautiful but Laura found herself looking at Crystal in a different light than she had before. Stop that, Laura, she admonished herself. She's straight and you're not interested. Too much baggage, remember? At that moment the buzzer sounded and the television station broke to a commercial. Out of the corner of her eye Laura noticed it was a public service announcement about helping to prevent child abuse. Crystal's eyes never left the screen but even in profile her face told volumes about her feelings. Laura watched as Crystal's jaw clenched and her lips were drawn to a thin line. Still trying to protect that little girl inside, aren't you? The urge to reach over and hug Crystal grew but the writer remained steadfast in her seat. That's the surest way to send her running upstairs. She'd probably think I was hitting on her. As the commercial ended and the game resumed, Laura noticed happily that the sad look on Crystal's face disappeared. That's right, you just forget all about that and enjoy the game. "That Henderson girl is something, isn't she?" Laura asked.

"She can play basketball, that's for sure," Crystal replied. "I can't believe she made that one shot."

"The one where it kinda wobbled there on the hoop for a few seconds before it went in?"

"Yeah."

"That was a good shot," Laura agreed. "She was back past the half court mark when she threw that one."

"They're not going to win at this point. There's only two minutes left in the game."

"You're right. I'm sure Peter will be disappointed. He always has some money down on them." Laura leaned forward and picked up the remote. "So what do you want to do now? I think there's a late movie on ten."

"I have to get to bed," Crystal said before giving a long yawn. "Hopefully Michael has something else for me to do. We're almost done with the demolition."

"I'm sure he does," Laura said, pressing the red button and shutting off the television. "I didn't realize how late it was. You're going to be dragging tomorrow."

"Naw, I'm used to being up late and having to work without a lot of sleep." Crystal stood up and gave a cat like stretch, drawing her hands high above her head. "Are you going to bed?"

"I don't have to be up early. No, I'll probably turn the computer on and get back to work on my never ending story." Laura stood up as well and walked over to the light switch. "I need to do some research online for the next part."

"You think tomorrow you can show me that GED site you mentioned?"

"Sure. I'll find it tonight and bookmark it so we'll have it right there for you."

"You'll do what to it?" Crystal shook her head. "Never mind. It must be computerese or something."

Laura flipped two switches, shutting off the living room lights and turning on the ones over the stairs. "One of these days I'll get you so you're not afraid of computers."

"Yeah right," Crystal said dubiously. "Right after I win the lottery."

Laura started up the stairs behind her. "I hear that works better if you buy a ticket once in a while." When they reached the upper landing she reached out and touched Crystal's arm. "Wait a minute." Laura finished climbing the stairs and stood face to face with her roommate. "I just wanted to say good night," she began, pausing to choose her words. "You know if ever you want to hang out and watch TV with me, you're more than welcome."

"Thanks." Crystal looked away uncomfortably, then looked back. "I don't want to"

"Don't worry about it," Laura said, cutting off the younger woman. "You're good company and we had a nice chat." She seriously doubted Crystal ever had a close friend she could relax and just talk about everything and nothing to. Probably no one since her sister, Laura mused. "I'll find that GED site and we'll look at it together tomorrow night." She gave Crystal's arm a friendly squeeze. "Don't you worry. We'll get you through it with flying colors, I promise. I used to tutor my friends when I was in school and I helped them all raise their grades." Not releasing her hold on Crystal's arm, Laura stepped forward until they were only inches apart. "How do you feel about a hug goodnight?" Sensing Crystal's ambivalence, Laura took the initiative and wrapped her arms around the younger woman. Unlike the first time they had hugged, this time Laura was aware of the feminine body pressed against her own. Crystal was warm and soft, her shirt smelling faintly of sweat and cigarettes. "Sweet dreams," she whispered softly, smiling when she felt Crystal's arms go around her to return the embrace. See? It's okay to let someone in, Laura thought, giving one last squeeze before stepping back. "Sleep well."

"You too," Crystal said, reaching for her door handle. "Don't stay up too late."

"I won't," Laura promised. "I just have a few things to care of and then it's off to bed for me."

The 'few things' turned out to be not only finding the GED site but printing out all the different practice tests on each subject. While waiting for each page to print, Laura looked over the different questions. Oh that's easy. Everyone knows a triangle with all equal sides is an equilateral. This will be easy for her. Another test came out of the printer. Ugh. I forgot about history. I never could get those dates straight. She looked at the printed list of dates the exams would be given locally and felt certain that Crystal would be able to pass the test by the Spring. Hmm, six months to learn three plus years of high school stuff? Maybe by summer. The printer made one last pass before a beep announced that the print job was finished and the last page fell into the tray. Laura picked up her empty cup and stared at it as if that would make it suddenly fill with tea. Oh well, it's too late to bother making any more, she thought, setting the cup down and looking at the screen. Okay Laura, you've spent the last two hours printing out just about everything there could possibly be on this site. She looked at the nearly half a ream of paper neatly stacked next to the printer. Better not show Crystal that whole stack at once or she'll go screaming the other way. Heck, if I saw a stack like that of stuff to study I'd run the other way too. She absently clicked on the search icon, bringing up her favorite search engine. There was another matter involving her roommate that might be solved via the internet and despite the late hour Laura felt compelled to research it.

"Come on, let's see just how much information is out there," she said as she typed the words Finding Missing Persons and clicked the send button.