In Too Deep

Chapter 34

I lie back against my bed, unable to wipe the smile off my face from my conversation with Taylor. How does she get me to say the things I don’t even know I’m thinking? To admit feelings I didn’t know I had? That’s got to stop. And asking her out on a date? The lack of sex is totally fucking with my system. I swear I’m not thinking clearly. But still, I chuckle at the conversation. Her quick intake of breath when I asked if I could use her computer and all that it implied. I grin at my own cleverness.

She’s really getting under my skin. My normal response would be to get in, get out, and get on with my life. But somehow I knew once with Taylor wouldn’t be enough. And that scared the shit out of me. She’d want the whole white picket fence, soul mates and romance thing, and damn if this girl didn’t make me want to try. But I knew that was more than I could give. I was in way out of my league. But I’d never backed down from a challenge before. And I didn’t plan to start now.

I turn over in bed, punching the pillow into shape and lay back, hoping to get some sleep. Not going to happen.

My shoulders are tense, and all my senses are on high alert after talking to her. I pick up my phone with one thing on my mind – solving this problem – quenching this desire the only way I know how. I scroll through my contact list. I find Samantha, under Yes, and knowing nothing else will help me get my mind off things, I type out a text.

Come over tonight?

My thumb hovers over send. The last time she came over I found Taylor in the hall crying. Her eyes blazed deep navy when she cried and little hiccups racked her chest even after the tears stopped.

She isn’t here, I remind myself. She’ll never know if you’re with Samantha tonight. This used to be so easy. A frustrated growl rips through me and without thinking, I delete the text. I slam the phone down onto the table. This is going to be a long night.

My phone chimes with a new email. Half expecting it to be from Samantha, I’m surprised to see it’s from Taylor.

A smile tugs at my lips as read the subject line. I open it.

FROM: Taylor Beckett

TO: Colt Palmer

SUBJECT: Horny teenage boys

Mr. Palmer,

On second thought, I would not like you using my technology for your personal pursuits.

Zip up your pants.

I’ll wait.

Done?

Good.

Porn objectifies women and creates unrealistic expectations in men. I know that’s all we are to you, objects to play with, but someone’s got to teach you. And I will gladly take the job.

Go to bed.

Taylor.

I hit reply, but no there’s way I’m leaving that as the subject line. I chuckle to myself at her sassiness.

TO: Taylor Beckett

FROM: Colt Palmer

SUBJECT: Goodnight

Taylor,

If you think I need your computer to get off, you’re insane. I have an extensive bank of memories stored in my imagination.

BTW – I am your teacher, not the other way around.

Shall we discuss the terms of our date?

Colt

A few seconds later, my phone chimes with a new message. I sit up in bed and flip on my lamp.

TO: Colt Palmer

FROM: Taylor Beckett

SUBJECT: Re: Goodnight

Mr. Palmer,

I’m not sure it’s wise for me to go on a date with a teacher.

Taylor

I roll my eyes and hit reply.

TO: Taylor Beckett

FROM: Colt Palmer

SUBJECT: Re: Goodnight

Taylor,

Stop with the Mr. Palmer shit.

I stare down at my phone, but she doesn’t respond right away. Maybe I pissed her off. Maybe she’s changed her mind about going out with me. I’ve never tried so hard to win over a girl. This is strange, and entirely new to me.

My phone chimes with a new message.

TO: Colt Palmer

FROM: Taylor Beckett

SUBJECT: Re: Goodnight

Colt,

We’ll talk about the date when I get back.

Have fun with Yes tonight.

Taylor

I feel guilty for almost texting Samantha in a moment of weakness earlier. And now am relieved I didn’t. I sense she’s testing me, and for some reason I’m eager to pass her test. I hit reply.

TO: Taylor Beckett

FROM: Colt Palmer

SUBJECT: Re: Goodnight

Taylor,

Yes isn’t coming over tonight.

All alone in bed,

Colt

The phone chimes again and I open her next message, my eyes noting the subject line with a smirk.

TO: Colt Palmer

FROM: Taylor Beckett

SUBJECT: Your sexual health

Colt,

I’m concerned. Do you know how to handle being all alone at night? Why not just call her?

Taylor

I tap reply.

TO: Taylor Beckett

FROM: Colt Palmer

SUBJECT: Re: Your sexual health

Taylor,

It’s comforting to know you’re concerned about my sexual health, but I won’t be calling her tonight. I saw how much doing so upset you the last time and I don’t want to see you like that ever again. So tonight, I’ll suffer in silence. For you.

Goodnight.

Get some sleep.

Colt

I sit up straighter, realizing with absolute horror that what I typed is true, not just some shit to impress her. Cheap thrills are not worth hurting Taylor like that again. I have no idea what that means, but I have an uneasy feeling about it all the same.

I flip off the lamp, stuff the phone under my pillow and drift to sleep with a smile still on my lips.

In the morning, I’m sitting in McAllister’s office looking over the newest cases. Vera comes in with a tray balancing two steaming mugs of coffee.

“Thank you Vera. That’s all.” McAllister waves her off.

I treat her to a smile and she nods, backing out of the room.

With the two-week summer break, McAllister and I are busy securing new business for the months ahead. He’s obsessed with this oil tanker case, but I can’t figure out his motivation. It’s a ship in the middle of the ocean. He says he just wants to test Taylor’s skills. I’m not sure I believe him.

I’d made the conscious decision when I began here three years ago to never tell anyone that McAllister is my dad. I didn’t want to be treated differently, or to have anyone think I hadn’t earned my way. I had. And then some. His standards for me were higher than for anyone else. Which was fine by me. I didn’t want his pity. One day I’d be running this place, because I deserved it, not because he felt obligated to give it to me.

I scan the rest of the files on his desk, looking for something that sparks my interest. Something that will get me out on the road again, hopefully with Taylor at my side. The next time I’m alone with her, I won’t hold back. She will be mine.