In Too Deep

Chapter 46

Later finally arrives, and I’m back in Colt’s room. My nightly solace from the horrifying truth of my last assignment.

I’m still racked with guilt over the oil spill, the baby seals I see on TV covered in the sticky soot, the huge ship resting unnaturally on its side against the reef, and the millions of gallons of black oil lapping at the once pristine shoreline.

But with each day that’s passed since the disaster, my fear that I’ll be discovered and removed from class in handcuffs has subsided. And Colt has been the best distraction I could have hoped for. I wish he could see our compromise for what it is, but I know I can’t rush him. And regardless of whatever label we’ve placed on our non-relationship, I am incredibly grateful for him. I wouldn’t be coping nearly as well if it weren’t for Colt.

But I am far from okay with how things are. I still want Colt’s realization at what we have, and of course I still want revenge on McAllister too.

I take a deep breath, willing myself to be brave. “Colt?”

“Hm?” He’s absently massaging my hand, tracing the lifeline over and over with his fingertip.

“I want to talk about our compromise.”

He straightens and looks at me.

“What about it? You don’t like how things are going?”

I shake my head. “It’s not that.” It’s the opposite in fact.

He smiles, relaxing into me once again. “Then what is it, baby?”

His nickname for me always makes me smile. “It’s just that, I am enjoying it…but I think I could enjoy it more if I knew where we stood. What we… are.”

Crap. I totally sound like the high school girl that I am. But it’s too late. Colt’s brow creases with understanding. “I’m listening…what did you have in mind?”

I look at him, my eyes sparking with hope. “So I’ve been thinking lately…” I take my time, not wanting to rush this.

His eyes are bright and beautiful and he’s watching me again.

“What we have, what we’re doing…what’s the difference between this and a real relationship?”

He’s quiet for a few moments and my heart pounds in my chest. I have no idea if he’s going to push me away or if he’s realizing what I’m saying is true.

He brings his hand to my face, and softly strokes my cheek with the back of his knuckles. “Okay,” he whispers, nuzzling into my neck.

“Okay?”

“I’ve been thinking about it too,” he says.

“Oh really?” I tease.

“Yes, I was thinking that the, uh, girlfriend thing – I might like to try that. With you.”

My heart flips and does a somersault. “Really?” Holy God, Colt wants me. Me!

He smiles and takes my hand, lacing his fingers with mine. “Would that make you happy, baby?”

I smile. “I think that could be good.” I try my best to play it cool, but in my mind, I’m twirling in full happy dance mode.

“But?” he prompts, tilting his head at my hesitation.

“But there are probably a few things we need to talk about first.”