L.A. Metro

CHAPTER 21

A SUBTLE AWARENESS nudged the edge of Kim's senses. She looked up from the patient's chart she was reviewing. At the sight of Jess approaching the nurses' station, a smile tugged at the corners of her lips. In the days since they had shared a hug in Jess's office, things had changed between them. Kim had expected Jess to retreat behind her formidable emotional walls. That had not happened.

While neither had made any conscious effort to change the nature of their relationship from friends to lovers, a new anticipation hung in the air between them whenever they were together in private.

The mournful wail of a siren growing rapidly louder caused Jess to veer off and head for the ambulance bay doors.

The pace in the ER had been nothing short of frantic all week. Kim didn't know how Jess and her staff kept up with the unrelenting stream of patients.

Kim moved to the end of the counter closest to the swinging double doors that led to the ambulance bay — close enough to be of help if she was needed while at the same time, out of the way.

The doors swung open with a whoosh.

Jess grabbed the head of the gurney as soon as it cleared the doorway. "What have you got?"

"White male, GSW to the chest."

"Trauma One," Jess said, already moving toward the room — gurney in tow.

The paramedic rattled off the patient's stats.

"Bates, Armstrong, you're with me," Jess called over her shoulder.

Glancing down at her watch, Kim frowned. It was fifteen minutes to shift change. Almost made it. It wasn't an uncommon occurrence for Jess to work overtime, and while Kim respected her work ethic, she couldn't help sighing as she saw their dinner plans going out the window.

The second paramedic stepped up to the nurses' station.

Terrell strode over to greet him.

"The other team is bringing in the shooter. They were right behind us."

The wail of a siren punctuated his words.

"What're his injuries?" Terrell asked.

"Don't know about the son. We were concentrating on the father."

Kim raked her hands through her hair. A father and son. What is this world coming to? Even with all she had seen so far in her career these violent family conflicts still affected her.

The ambulance bay doors swooshed open.

Her attention was once again drawn to the incoming patient.

A paramedic pushed a gurney through the doors.

The patient struggled weakly against restraining straps across his chest and thighs. "I didn't want to. Please... I didn't mean it."

"Settle down now. Let the docs help you," the paramedic said.

"He made me. I swear." The patient whimpered.

Where have I heard that voice before? Frowning, Kim took a step forward as Terrell and the paramedic pushed the gurney past her.

"Do you need a hand?" Kim asked. She glanced down at the patient.

A young man with a bloody, battered face looked back at her through eyes swollen to thin slits. "Mom?" He strained toward her. "Oh, Mom."

Kim quickly moved to the side of the gurney. "Take it easy." Her nose wrinkled at the pungent smell of urine that wafted up from the patient's bloody, torn clothing.

His mangled features defied recognition for a moment, then it hit.

Oh my God. "Brian." He had been part of one of her therapy groups.

"Please. Help me." Brian clutched the front of Kim's shirt.

"Hey!" Terrell's hand shot out and grabbed Brian's wrist.

Keeping her eyes on Brian, Kim said, "It's okay. Let him go, Terrell." When he didn't immediately comply, she glanced up at Terrell.

Terrell met her eyes, and Kim nodded. He slowly and somewhat reluctantly released Brian's wrist.

"You need to let go, Brian." Kim kept her voice calm and as soothing as she could make it.

"I didn't mean it!"

Brian's hand tightened on her shirt.

Kim grabbed his forearm. Don't panic. He's hurt and scared. The muscles turned to granite under her fingers.

With a low undulating moan, Brian's body arched against the gurney's restraining straps.

"Brian!" God. What's happening?

As if pulled by a marionette's strings, his body began to jerk.

"Damn it. He's seizing," Terrell said. "Get him into Trauma Two."

Kim struggled to pry her shirt out of Brian's hand as the paramedic grasped the stretcher and started to pull.

She gripped the side of the gurney with one hand to keep from falling as she was dragged along.

Two arms wrapped around Kim from behind.

One hand grabbed Brian's wrist; the other grasped Kim's shirt.

The fabric was wrenched from his grip.

Kim let go of the gurney as she was jerked back against an instantly familiar body. Jess.

Unthinking, Kim turned within the circle of Jess's arms.

Scared silvery-blue eyes met hers.

"You okay?" Jess asked.

Not sure if she really was okay, but aware enough to know Jess needed to do her job, Kim nodded. From the look on Jess's face, she wasn't going anywhere until she made sure Kim was all right.

"I'm good," Kim finally managed. "Go."

Jess hesitated for just a second, then turned and sprinted down the hall in hot pursuit of the gurney carrying Brian.

A hand landing on her shoulder made Kim jump. She turned to find Penny standing behind her.

"Are you all righ —" Penny's gaze dropped to Kim's chest and she gulped heavily.

Glancing down, Kim spied the lurid red stain that saturated her blouse directly over her heart. Now aware of the blood, the cold, clammy feel of it against her skin made her stomach roil.

Kim bolted for the nearest restroom.

* * *

The door to Jess's office flew open with enough force to slam it against the wall.

Kim jumped, fumbling to keep from dropping the journal she had been trying to read.

Jess blew into the room.

She paused long enough to kick the door shut, then stormed over to her desk.

"Damn it." Jess struggled to free herself from her lab coat. Her anger made her movements jerky and uncoordinated. Once free of the coat, she balled it up and threw it on her desk. "What a fucking waste."

Whoa. Kim had never seen Jess so openly emotional. A sinking feeling filled the pit of her stomach. She doesn't realize I'm here. She couldn't help but dread Jess's reaction to being observed unaware. Kim knew how important Jess's need to feel in control emotionally was to her.

"Hey, Jess."

Jess spun around. Her glare pinned Kim in place on the couch. "What are you still doing here?"

Flinching at Jess's harsh tone, she quickly stood. "I waited to see how Brian was doing." That was the truth — just not the whole truth. Seeing a patient, even one she had only seen a few times in group, bloody and broken like that had shaken her up. However, a large part of Kim wanted — no, needed to be with Jess. Just being in the same room with Jess gave her a sense of comfort and safety she had never experienced with anyone else. Well, you ruined any possibility of that happening now. Knowing how Jess must feel about her having witnessed her loss of control, Kim had no doubt that her presence was not welcome at the moment. "I'm sorry. I'll go."

Like a balloon losing its air, Jess deflated. She made her way over to the couch. "No. Wait." Jess sat down on the couch, then reached up and tentatively clasped Kim's hand. "Please."

Kim allowed herself to be tugged down to sit next to Jess. She smiled when Jess didn't let go of her hand. That was one of the things that had changed between them. They each seemed to find any excuse to touch the other — however casually.

"I'm sorry. You startled me." Jess blew out a breath. "But that's no excuse." She ducked her head. "You're welcome to be in this office any time you want. I hope you know that."

Kim used just the tips of her fingers to urge Jess's head up. "You don't have to hide your feelings from me, Jess. Everyone gets angry. You want to talk about what made you mad?"

Jess shook her head. "It's just work..." Her eyes widened suddenly. "Um, what patient were you waiting to find out about? It wasn't the one in the hall was it? Who had a hold of you?"

"Yes, that's Brian. He was in one of my therapy groups a couple of months ago."

"Oh," Jess said.

A trickle of dread crept down Kim's spine at the look on Jess's face.

Jess took hold of Kim's other hand. She cradled both of Kim's hands within hers. "I'm so sorry."

No. It can't be. Jess's expression made it clear that it was, but Kim needed to hear it out loud. Her throat constricted. She struggled to force the words out. "He's dead?"

Jess nodded. "Yes. I'm sorry."

Kim's stomach churned. God, no. It's not fair. He's just a boy. She leaned forward over their joined hands. When Jess pulled her hands free and wrapped her arms around her, Kim sank into Jess's embrace.

Jess gently stroked her back.

The strong beat of Jess's heart under her ear soothed Kim. She soaked in the comfort of Jess's strong arms wrapped securely around her for several long moments while she regained her composure. Although it was the last thing she wanted to do, she knew she should break the embrace. They were at work and anyone could walk in. She forced herself to ease out of the warmth of Jess's arms.

"Better now?" Jess asked quietly.

"Yeah. Sorry."

"No reason to be sorry. It's tough to lose a patient." Jess took one of Kim's hands in hers. She rubbed her thumb over the back of Kim's hand.

"It's just so hard to believe. He was confused, but he was talking and..." Kim shook her head. "What happened?"

"It's like that sometimes with head trauma. After having a second seizure, he arrested." Jess's shoulders slumped. "I couldn't get him back."

Oh Jess. "I know you did everything you could."

"It wasn't enough." Anger flared across Jess's face. "He was just a kid."

"I know. I'm sorry." Kim took Jess's other hand in hers and gave them both a strong squeeze.

Jess pulled away, clearly uncomfortable with even that small show of sympathy. "Let's get out of here." She stood and walked over to her desk.

Kim followed in her wake. Now she understood Jess's earlier outburst. Her anger was a shield to protect her against more painful emotions. Anger was a safe emotion to feel. She longed to pull Jess into her arms and soothe away her hurt. If only you would let me.

Their eyes met over Jess's crumpled lab coat.

A blush stained Jess's cheeks. She gathered up the rumpled coat and tossed it over the back of her desk chair. Jess turned back toward Kim and her eyes dropped to the scrub shirt Kim was wearing. Jess's eyebrow arched. "I didn't damage your shirt, did I?"

"No." Looking down at her shirt, Kim shuddered. She swore she could still feel the blood on her skin although she had scrubbed herself raw in the locker room. "It had blood on it. I tossed it in the trash."

Jess's eyebrows shot up. "Where did you get...?" Realization dawned. "Oh. Right."

Kim rubbed her hand over the spot on her chest where the blood had been. She tried to push away the memory of the lurid stain on her shirt.

A glance at her watch made Jess frown.

Looking at her own watch, Kim mirrored her expression. "Are you going to be able to make it to pick up Thor?" While Kim knew that Thor stayed at doggie daycare three days a week, she didn't know their hours or exactly where the kennel was located.

"No. They close in twenty minutes." Jess shuffled together some of the scattered papers on her desk. "I hate for him to have to stay again." She sighed. "But it's better than him being home alone for hours on end. I'll give them a call and let them know I'll get him first thing tomorrow morning." A halfhearted smile appeared. "At least tomorrow is Saturday."

"I'm so ready for the weekend," Kim said. After the hectic week in the ER and then what happened with Brian, she was more than ready for a break. God, Brian. Ambushed by the vivid memory of Brian's bloody, mangled face, Kim's eyes started to sting. Shit. She turned her back on Jess. Get hold of yourself.

Jess was around the desk before Kim finished the thought. She stepped close. Without a word, her hand began to move up and down Kim's back in slow, comforting strokes.

Looking up, Kim gazed into caring blue eyes. Touched by the warmth and understanding in Jess's gaze, she felt a single tear slide down her face.

Using her thumb, Jess gently wiped away the tear. "Let me take you home."

Conflicting emotions pulled at Kim. On one hand, she didn't want Jess to think she was helpless or weak. On the other, she craved the comfort Jess offered. She couldn't bear the thought of going home alone to her empty condo. A second gentle stroke of Jess's thumb across her cheek made the decision for her. Leaning into the touch, she stared into Jess's eyes for just a moment, then nodded. "Thank you."

The ringing of the phone made them both jump.

Growling under her breath, Jess moved to answer the phone. "Dr. McKenna." Jess listened, her scowl growing. "I already talked to her —" She rubbed the back of her neck. "Fine. Put her in the main conference room. I'll be there shortly." Jess smacked the desk with her palm after hanging up the phone.

"What's wrong?" Kim asked.

Jess started as if she had forgotten Kim was there. She tugged at the bottom of her scrub shirt. "The police detective wants to talk to me. I spoke to her after," Jess hesitated, then continued, "after Brian. I told her I don't know anything. Now she's insisting on talking to me about the father."

Kim blanched. "God. I was so upset about Brian, I didn't even think about his father's condition. He's not..." She couldn't bring herself to say it.

"He was in bad shape, but still alive when he left the ER. Craig Peterson, one of our trauma surgeons took him straight to the OR." Jess picked up her lab coat and smoothed it out before pulling it on. She checked her pockets and then straightened some papers on her desk.

"I guess you should get going. The detective is waiting," Kim said.

Shoving her hands into her pockets, Jess looked up. "Yeah. I'm sorry about this. I'll be as quick as I can, then I'll take you home."

Hearing the weariness in Jess's voice made Kim take a closer look at her. She had been so caught up in her own emotions she hadn't realized until now just how tired and stressed Jess looked. Guilt washed over Kim. This isn't just about you. Jess not only took care of his dad, but Brian as well and had to pronounce him. God. "I have a better idea. Why don't you go talk to the detective and I'll head out and pick us up something to eat on the way home? When you get done, come on over and we'll eat and share a bottle of wine." Kim moved over close to Jess. "We could both use a break. What do you say?"

"I don't mind —"

Kim reached up and placed a finger on Jess's lips to stop any further protest. "I appreciate that. Let me do this. It will help take my mind off — things. Unless you're too tired?"

Jess shook her head. "Are you sure?"

"Positive."

Some of the tension seemed to ease from around Jess's eyes. "Okay. You're right. I could use a break too. I better go meet with the detective." She walked to the door, then turned back to face Kim. "I'll be over as soon as I can." She pulled open the door and was about to step out, then stopped. "Damn."

"What is it?" Kim asked.

Jess walked back to her desk and tugged open the center drawer. She pulled a business card from inside. "I hate to ask this, but could you call the kennel and let them know I won't be picking up Thor tonight?" She held out the card to Kim. "Please tell them I'll pick him up first thing tomorrow."

"Sure. I'd be glad —"

Jess's pager shrilled. She glanced down at the display and grimaced. "Looks like the detective is getting restless. I better go." Jess stopped in the doorway. "Thanks for calling the kennel, and I'll be at your place as soon as I can." Jess seemed reluctant to leave.

"Go," Kim said.

Jess offered a half-salute, then turned and hurried down the hallway.

Kim picked up the phone and dialed the kennel. That Jess was trusting her with this meant a lot.