Pitifully Ugly

Chapter 14

Secrets revealed.

Mom was asleep in the waiting room of the cardiac ICU when

we arrived. Kalen and I left her to rest and sought out someone

who could fill us in. “He’s doing well,” a male nurse said. “He’s

scheduled to have a stent put in around an hour from now.” He

rattled off more about a blockage, using medical jargon that no

one outside of the medical field could understand. “I can tell you

more after the procedure,” he said, looking down at a chart. “He’s

awake right now. You can visit him for five minutes.”

I found it unnerving to see Dad hooked up to so many wires

and an IV when we walked in. We’d been blessed with healthy

aging parents, and this was the first time that we’d ever seen one

of them in the hospital for anything serious.

“Look, I’m bionic,” Dad said, gesturing to the EKG leads.

“They’re gonna make me stronger, faster, and better than I was

before.”

Kalen and I took turns planting kisses on his head.

“Is your mom sleeping?” he asked seriously.

“Yeah, she’s out in the waiting room. We didn’t want to

disturb her,” Kalen said.

“Make her go home and get some real rest. A woman her age

does not need to be hanging around a place like this.”

Kalen and I laughed. “She’ll go home when she’s ready, Dad.

There’s nothing we can say to tear her away from here,” I said.

Dad wasn’t often serious. It was usually one quip after another

with him, especially when he was nervous. He smoothed back his

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thick gray hair. “Tell her there’s a sale at Macy’s, and there’ll be

nothing but a vapor trail.”

“I assume they’re going to put you on a special diet when you

get out of here,” Kalen said. “And you better follow it to the letter

because I need my dad.” Her voice quavered. “Especially now.”

Like our mother, Kalen was usually stoic. Not much rattled

her, so it surprised me when she got emotional. Dad and I

exchanged odd glances.

“I’m pregnant, Daddy.”

Dad and I expelled a shocked breath, and his heart rate sped

up a bit on the monitor.

Kalen wiped at her face. “Probably not the best time to tell

you, but if we aren’t reason enough to live, then think of the

grandbaby you have on the way.”

Dad was grinning from ear to ear. “I wonder if ol’ Todd put

the stem on the apple.”

“Well, we’re not going to know that until he or she gets

here because Todd and I agree we don’t want to know the sex

beforehand.” Kalen turned and looked at me. “Can you believe

it? After all this time and trying for years, we’d given up, and at

thirty-eight, I’m gonna be a momma.”

I was crying like a baby when I pulled Kalen into my arms.

We were standing there blubbering when Mom walked into the

room.

“Dear God, what is it?” she asked in alarm.

“Hot damn!” Dad slapped the bed. “Kalen’s got a bun in the

oven.”

This set off beeping sounds that brought two very concerned

nurses into the room. We were allowed to give Dad a kiss and

hug before we were all ejected into the hall. As we went, I could

hear him asking if he’d be allowed to smoke a cigar nine months

from now.

“How long have you known?” I asked as we went back to the

waiting room.

“Four months.” Kalen looked at us both sheepishly. “I wanted to

make sure I made it through the first trimester before I told anyone.

I’ve been hiding the weight gain under baggy winter clothes.”

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Mom and I nodded in understanding, neither of us wanting to

mention the two miscarriages, as though it might jinx this one.

“I just can’t believe I have a grandbaby on the way.” Mom

sank down into a chair. “Good God, what a night…and now a

day. I’ve never been so scared and elated at the same time.”

Her words sobered us.

I took a seat next to Mom and patted her arm. “He’s gonna be

okay. It’s a smal blockage, and the stent thing is routine nowadays.”

Mom smiled and nodded. “Look at you,” she said, cupping

my cheek. “I just saw you at Christmas, and you don’t even look

like the same woman.”

“All of this,” Kalen said gesturing at me, “occurred in the two

weeks while I was gone. And she’s got two women interested in

her.”“You’re dating again?” Mom asked. “And two women at the

same time?” Mom was practically giddy. “I may have more than

one grandbaby to look forward to.”

“You don’t like my new look?” I asked, hoping to throw her

off the trail.

She made a face that said, cut the shit. “Love it.”

“Hey, don’t forget the bloated pregnant chick over here.”

Kalen jerked a thumb at her chest. “And somebody needs to feed

this baby before it starves me to death. It’s sucking me dry, and

it’s not even here yet.”

The topic turned to food after that, but I knew Mom would

eventually pull me aside and grill me about everything I’d done

since the holidays.

Dad’s stent procedure happened without incident. He would

be discharged after a day and night of observation. Mom finally

relented and agreed to go home with us. I doubt she would’ve

left his side if it hadn’t been for Kalen, who raided the vending

machines every half hour, then slept in a chair between snacks.

We picked up KFC on the way home for dinner since Mom would

undoubtedly have to endure Dad’s diet along with him. She’d

always been a healthy eater anyway, but every now and then, she

liked her fried chicken.

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“I suppose that we’ll all be eating differently from now on,”

Mom said with a smile as we sat around the table on their screened

patio.

“True, but I’ll start that tomorrow,” Kalen said. She’d removed

all the skin from her chicken before she ate. And instead of fried

potato wedges, she opted for the mashed potatoes. She made up

for her healthy choices by topping her dinner with a Snickers bar

she had stashed in her purse. “I guess I should enjoy sleeping as

much as I can now because that’s all going to come to an end.”

“Trust me, it’ll all be worth it. It certainly was with you two,”

Mom said with a tired smile. “I had you a year apart. I don’t think

me or your dad really slept until you moved out of the house.”

I excused myself and went into the bathroom. I sent Hailey a

text and told her that Dad was doing fine. She sent one right back

and said she was relieved to hear from me and that everything

sounded like it was going well.

I leaned against the sink and thought back to the kiss that

we’d shared the night before. Those same lips had told me that

she could only offer friendship, but when they met mine, they

conveyed an entirely different message. One that said behind the

guise of friendship burned a passion that would burn us both to

embers if unleashed.

I cleaned up after dinner. It took an argument to get Mom

and Kalen to go sit down and leave me to it. I figured they needed

time to relax, and I just wanted time alone to wonder what Hailey

would tell me when I returned home. Would she give us a chance,

or would she keep me at arm’s length again?

Kalen was the first to go to bed. Mom had showered and

found me in the den flipping through the channels. “Tell me

about these two women Kalen mentioned,” she said as she took a

seat next to me.

“Actually, it’s just one woman. I’m not going to see the other

one anymore.”

“Was that your choice?”

I nodded. “I didn’t think it was right to lead Marci on because

Hailey is the one I really want to get to know.” I looked into Mom’s

Pitifully Ugly

dark eyes. It surprised me how much she and Kalen had begun

to look alike. Her dark and wavy hair damp from her shower was

pulled back away from her face, and though she was tired, she

still looked a lot younger than her sixty-three years.

She rested the side of her head on the back of the sofa and

looked at me. “Your sister would’ve dated them both until she

made up her mind,” Mom said with a grin. “How did you meet

Hailey?”

“She moved into my building. There’s just something about

her—a connection that I can’t explain.”

Mom gave my arm a squeeze. “I look forward to meeting

her.”“I hope it’ll go that far.”

Mom touched her finger to my nose. “I’m happy that you’ve

found someone that makes your eyes sparkle the way they are

now.”“I’m sparkling?”

“Yes, and your sister is glowing.” Mom yawned. “It means so

much to me to have you girls here now.”

“Dad scared you half to death, didn’t he?”

“He sure did. There are days that he’s a complete pain in my

ass, but I can’t imagine life without him. When you find the right

one, there’s a bond that makes you feel whole. I know that one day

you’ll understand exactly what I mean.”

I thought I was beginning to.

“I have The Glass Bottom Boat in the DVD player in my

room. Want to curl up like we did in the old days and watch it

until we fall asleep?” Mom asked.

I managed to make it to my favorite part when the vacuum

cleaner ate Doris Day’s slipper. Mom had long been asleep when

I switched the movie off. I put my phone on to charge and sent

Hailey a message telling her good night and thanked her again

for taking care of me. Her response was, Anytime and sweet

dreams.

I lay down then and studied my mother’s face as she slept.

I wondered what she was seeing behind her closed eyes. What

Robin Alexander

made her brow furrow even in slumber? I remembered a time

long ago, the first time we watched movies in bed together and

seeing her face look the same way.

I think I was around six when my parents had a party. Kalen

and I were tucked into bed, but I could hear the laughter coming

from the patio and couldn’t sleep. I slipped out of bed and watched

the grown-ups through our window, drinking their drinks and

talking in groups around the yard. I wanted to be grown, too, and

drink the drinks they were mixing in the blender.

I remembered that there was a big tray in the kitchen loaded

with sandwiches with the crusts cut off just like I liked them. I

sneaked out of the room and moved quietly down the hall. I was

about to make my move for the tray when I heard a woman’s voice

coming from the den.

“Roger, it’s too risky.”

And then I heard my father’s voice whispering something I

couldn’t make out. The woman laughed. It wasn’t my mother’s

laugh, so I leaned around as far as I could. She was facing Dad,

but I could see his hand on the small of her back, and they were

kissing just like my mom and dad did.

I shrank back against the wall when I heard the kitchen door

open. Uncle Jimmy was muttering something about ice.

“What are you doing up?” my mom whispered behind

me. She glanced into the den and put her finger to her lips as

she took me by the hand and led me back down the hall to her

bedroom. She picked me up and sat me on the bed and knelt in

front of me. I’ll never forget the look in her eyes. Though I didn’t

understand it then, there was pain. “What are you doing out of

bed, Shannon?”

“I wanted a sandwich with no crust.” As if it would make it

better, I held up my stuffed cat. “Scratchy wants one, too, he’s

very hungry.”

Mom’s eyes watered when she smiled. “I’ll get you and

Scratchy a sandwich, stay right here.”

“Mommy, who was that lady kissing daddy?” I asked as she

stood to go.

She knelt down again and patted Scratchy on the head.

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“That’s your daddy’s special friend. It’s a secret, and only me and

you know about it. Can we keep it that way?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Mom sniffed and kissed me on the head. “I’ll be right back.

You stay here, okay?”

That was the very first time Mom and I lay in bed together

watching Doris Day. It took me a while to understand what Dad’s

special friend was and why my mother looked the way she did

that night. But when it all dawned on me, I secretly resented

my father and worried that one day we wouldn’t all be a family

anymore. I kept the secret, though, telling no one, not even Kalen.

In adulthood, I realized that Mom had somehow found it in her

heart to forgive him. I eventually did, too, in secret.

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