Pitifully Ugly

Chapter 24

No good deed…you know the rest.

I spent an entire week at the salon and developed a twitch

every time the phone rang at home, a tiny dose of post-war

syndrome. By Monday the following week, I was in bed with

a fever and coughing up things that looked like Yoda. Marvin

took pity on me and went grocery shopping. He showed up at my

apartment wearing a face mask with two sacks in his arms.

“I brought you chicken noodle soup from the deli down the

street,” he said, keeping a distance. “I’ve never had it, but Alicia

swears by it. Some oranges and orange juice. A pint of bourbon,

lemon, and honey for toddies, and a gun in case you want to shoot

yourself.”

“You eat the soup, give me the bourbon and the gun.” I lay on

the couch feeling weak and puny.

Marvin put his hand to my head and looked at me with a

worried expression. “Caliente,” he said, shaking his hand. “You’re

very pale. Have you gone to the doctor?”

“Nope, I’m gonna ride it out.” I shivered and pulled my robe

tighter around my body. “My throat feels like it’s on fire. Be

a friend and hit me over the head with something. I wanna be

unconscious.”

“Shannon,” Marvin said. No honey or baby. He was all

business. “I can’t leave you like this.”

“Can I have some juice? It hurts to talk, and I think you’re

gonna make me argue,” I said miserably.

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Robin Alexander

Marvin poured me a glass of juice and pushed it into my

hands. “I’ll be back in a flash.”

He took off before I could ask where he was going. I drank the

juice and winced when it hit the back of my throat. I was lying on

the sofa trying to remember the last time I took Tylenol and if the

Valium I still had left would send me into orbit. Hailey appeared

like a dream, except she was wearing a mask like Marvin’s.

“We’re going for a ride,” Marvin said cheerfully. “What are

you wearing under that robe?”

“Nothing and no.” I shook my head and wanted to cry from

the pain it caused.

Hailey pressed the back of her hand to my forehead. “Oh, yes,

you are. Come with me.” I was too weak to put up a fight and let

her pull me up with a whimper. “We’ll be back in a minute,” she

said to Marvin as she steered me to the bedroom.

Hailey sat me on the bed as she fished out clothes from my

file cabinet-slash-dresser. She laid a pair of underwear and sweats

on the bed next to me. “As much as I’d like to see you naked,” she

began with a smile, “I will do my best to preserve your dignity.

You turn your back to me and dress and I’ll steady you.”

The trip to the bedroom wore me out. I stood wearily and

pulled on my underwear and pants. Hailey slipped my robe off

my shoulders. The feel of her hands grazing my back added to my

fever, and if I hadn’t felt like someone dropped a blow torch down

my throat, I might’ve swooned. She helped me into my shirt and

called for Marvin.

“I’m going to need your help. She’s swaying all over the

place.” I felt them hanging a coat over my shoulders and leading

me to the door. They stood on either side of me in the elevator

holding me up. I think I may’ve fallen asleep because the next

thing I noticed was Marvin sitting in the backseat of Hailey’s

SUV as she pulled out of the garage.

“Hospital or doc in a box?” Hailey looked at Marvin in the

rearview.

“There’s an after-hours clinic two blocks down on the right.”

Marvin looked at me. “She’s looking kind of green. Let’s try there

first.”

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Pitifully Ugly

Marvin knew half of the people in the waiting room. He

sauntered around in his mask like he was at a social while I

leaned heavily against Hailey. She stroked my hair and back as

we watched Marvin flirt with some guy who looked as bad as I

did. When my name was called, Hailey went back with me. I was

too sick to protest.

The first thing I did after they weighed me was throw up. My

eyes teared partly from embarrassment but more from the pain.

That was actually a good thing because someone came in minutes

later and jabbed me in the throat with a swab. I had nothing left

in my stomach, but I did gag like a cat with a hairball long after

the nurse left the room. All the while Hailey petted and stroked,

whispering words of comfort. Despite all the embarrassment, I

was glad she was there.

After my blood pressure and temperature had been taken, a

doctor whisked into the room. He bent sideways and smiled at me

cheerily. “I have good news and bad news,” he said as he stuck

something in one of my ears, then the other. “You don’t have the

flu, but you do have a nasty case of strep.”

“Yippee,” I said with as much enthusiasm as I could.

“Will you be taking care of her?” he asked Hailey.

“Yes,” she said without hesitation.

I listened as he explained the antibiotics that I assured him I

wasn’t allergic to. My entire body stiffened as he explained next

that they were going to give me a shot for the nausea. My eyes

had to be the size of saucers as he patted my shoulder, wished me

well, and walked out.

“What is it, honey?” Hailey looked down at me with

concern.

“Did he say shot?”

Hailey smiled behind her mask. “It’s either that or a

suppository.”

“Okay, shot.”

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Robin Alexander

The ride home went by in a blur. I was barely awake as

they half dragged me back into my apartment. I had a vague

recollection of Fuzzy circling my bed with a mask on her head

before I slipped off into merciful oblivion.

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Pitifully Ugly