Reciprocity

CHAPTER 22

The event alarm pinged on my computer, opening a window in the middle of my document. I cracked my neck, stretching it out. I’d been staring at my screen for more than two hours without moving and was happy for the distraction of the end of the workday.

I saved my progress and shut my computer down. There wasn’t much time, and we needed to get going. I slipped my jacket back on and grabbed my phone before heading out the door, locking it behind me.

A few feet later, I popped my head into Lila’s office. “Are you ready?” It was almost five-thirty, and she had an appointment with Darren in half an hour. It would take nearly that long with traffic to get there. “Honeybear?”

Both Lila and Owen failed to acknowledge my presence, still typing away. I shook my head and sighed.

“Yo! Wife of mine, come on.”

Her head snapped up, eyes blinking in confusion. “Fuck,” she hissed as she noticed the time. “Give me a sec.”

“It’s never a sec in this black hole.”

She held her finger up, not even looking at me anymore. I licked my lips, thinking about giving her a little spanking for that later.

Leaning against the door frame, waiting, I took a good look around the room. It wasn’t my first view since I’d vacated it months ago, but it was broken in with Owen. Not much had changed, with the exception of Owen and his personal belongings. A photo of him and his girlfriend sat next to his monitor along with a Scooby-Doo figure.

Any trace of the nearly one year I’d spent there was gone. I kind of missed that time—missed being so close to her.

She closed up the file in front of her and played with her computer before shutting it down. There was a frazzled edge to her as she located her purse and stood to face me.

“Okay, ready.”

She stepped toward me, and I grabbed her face, pulling it close as I licked her lips and kissed her. When I pulled back, her lids were heavy and she was leaning into me.

I grabbed her hand and started down the hall. She pouted.

“That was mean.”

My lip twitched. “What?”

“You know what, mister.”

We stopped at the elevator bay and pressed the button. I leaned down, kissing her neck as I squeezed her ass.

“Just wanted to show you how much I missed you.”

The moment of fun was just what I needed at the end of a long day.

During the drive, she took my right hand in hers, placing kisses on my busted-up knuckles. She swiped her fingers across mine, soothing us both.

I’d gotten a good five or six punches in on the bastard, but he matched me. The hit to the brick wall behind him had me hurting the worst.

As we pulled up to Darren’s office, three police cars sat outside with their lights flashing. Red and blue lights bounced off the building.

My stomach dropped out, and I grabbed for Lila’s hand, encasing it in mine. We walked up to the office and found Darren standing outside talking to an officer. His eyes widened, only for a second, but it was enough that I noticed.

“Darren, what’s going on?” I asked as we approached.

He spoke to the officer and turned toward us. “Someone broke into my office over lunch.”

Lila’s eyes widened. “What?”

“Did they take anything?”

His gaze flickered away from mine. “No.”

I didn’t believe him. I’d known him long enough. His poker face wasn’t that good.

“What did they take?”

He pursed his lips and looked between Lila and me, then let out a long breath. “They took your file…and Lila’s.”

Dread washed over me. “Is that all?” I needed to know the answer. Needed to know that it was just a break-in for files and not mine specifically, because I knew who it was.

“They only took yours and Lila’s.”

I cursed under my breath, my hand tightening around Lila’s as the world began to crash around me. This couldn’t be happening—not again. Maybe he’d been right. Maybe I should have listened closer. Maybe I should have run with Lila when he sat down next to me at the restaurant.

They were coming back. They were going to kill us, and every fear I’d had since I met her, since I met my Lila, washed over me, enveloping me. My hands began to shake—something that Darren noticed.

“You have to stay calm. I didn’t want to tell you because I knew this would happen.”

“Of course it was going to happen.” My stomach turned, and I pulled Lila close to me, my arms wrapping around her as my body bent in on itself.

Her hands ran soothing circles up and down my back, her nails digging in slightly, scratching. The small bit of pain reminded me she was there.

Darren put his hand on my shoulder. “Take a deep breath.” I took in as much air as I could and slowly let it out. “Lila, could you go inside and get a bottle of water from the vending machine down the hall?”

I reached out as she walked away and grabbed onto her arm. “No.”

Darren placed his hand on mine and waved an officer over. “Can you escort her inside to the break room for me?”

Lila caressed my face. “I’ll be right back.”

I whimpered as she walked away, but I couldn’t take my eyes off her. “How did they know to come here?”

Darren sighed. “I don’t know, but I think it’s obvious they’re tailing you again.”

My head snapped to him. “You think?” I flashed my busted up knuckles at him. “Every fucking place I go.”

He cursed under his breath, eyes wide as he stared at my hand. “When?”

“My birthday.”

“Have you thought about hiring a bodyguard or getting police protection?”

I shook my head. “Police are in on it, and what the hell is a body guard going to do against them?”

“Protect you.”

My jaw twitched. “How the hell will one guy, or even five guys, be able to protect us round the clock for the rest of our lives?”

Anger built up, and the urge to punch something skyrocketed, but there was nothing to hit. I exploded, yelling out and up to the heavens.

“There has to be something.”

I was breathing hard, tears filling my eyes. “There’s only one thing. I’m dead, but I can still protect Lila.”

Devastation.

The email said it all—bang! You’re dead.

I couldn’t stop staring at the screen, at the photos of Lila and me coming and going from the condo I was sitting in.

When did I become so lax? I didn’t even notice it happened, so blissed out with Lila the threat that hung over me wasn’t even a blip on my radar.

I’d tried to live a life, be happy, start over with the woman I loved.

“Nate, you there?” Tom’s voice rang out through the receiver.

“Y-yeah, I’m here.”

“We’ve gotten three of his men arrested and are close to getting him. The files have been instrumental to that. Not much longer.”

My hand rubbed over my face. “I don’t know if it’ll be soon enough.”

“Why? What’s going on?”

I swallowed hard. “They know I’m helping you.”

“How?”

“They know.”

I hung up the phone and clenched my shaking hand into a fist. My eyes scrunched closed, and I tried to hold it in, but that was impossible. I swung out, hitting the lamp on my desk and sending it smashing into the wall.

I yelled, hard and harsh, the sound bouncing around. Anger coursed through me. I stood up and tossed my chair across the room. Every muscle was tight as I searched for more to destroy, to quell the overwhelming pain consuming me.

I wanted Lila to be mine in every way, and she was going to pay the price for my selfishness with her life.

Should we stay, or should we run? They’d still find us, so we’d only be delaying the inevitable, but there was always the small chance they wouldn’t. There was also the fact that my family would be put in danger.

It was the end of days.

I picked up something from my desk and hurled it, indifferent to what it was, then found another object. I was lost in a sea of destruction, searching for the way, pushing past it all. A chair leg in my hand crunched as it slammed into the monitor, cracking through the photos and turning it black.

I then took it to the walls, beating them in as I begged a higher power to take it all away.

“Nate?” Lila stood in the doorway, staring at me.

I stopped, my breath coming out in heavy pants, and looked around. Papers, glass, and wood splinters were spread out all around me.

I said I would protect her with my life, and the fates were going to take me up on my offer.

The light faded, sun setting off in the distance.

Lila and I were sitting on the balcony, only it wasn’t the balcony on our condo. It was the deck in my backyard in Carmel—which was odd, because I’d never taken Lila there. I didn’t even own the house anymore—it sold two years ago.

I hadn’t even lived in it since before the accident. I couldn’t after Grace died.

Two stories, nearly four thousand square feet, over a half acre lot—suburbia.

Lila smiled at me, her hand running over her baby bump. She sipped her lemonade and stared out at the sunset. I reached out and ran my fingers down her arm.

A shiver ran through me as her image flickered, changing. Blue eyes turned to me—Grace.

“Do you really think it will be any different this time?”

“What?”

“Miscarriage after miscarriage—do you really think that will change with Lila?”

The scenery shifted, the sky darkened, and I was in my condo. Moonlight filtered in, exposing the starkness that was life before Lila.

There was no furniture in the living room, only a box—the box.

My chest tightened as I stared at it. Why was it there?

“Will you make another box of secrets? Another place to hide the evidence of your past?” Grace walked over and kneeled in front of it. Her fingers ran around the edges and then she flipped the clasp.

My hand shot out. “Wait!”

She turned to me. “Wait for what? Don’t you want to see what’s in here?”

No. I was certain I didn’t want that.

She raised the lid and set it back.

“Wow.” Grace went silent as she looked at whatever was on top. She turned to me and held up a photo of my wedding with Lila. “You really were meant for each other.”

I began to shake, the tightness around my chest squeezed. “W-why is that in there?”

Grace blinked at me. “Why wouldn’t it be? She’s dead, just like me.”

I shook my head. “No. No, she’s not.”

Grace stood and walked forward, another photo in her hand. My eyes widened, tears filling them as she held up a photo of Lila staring blankly at me, blood everywhere.

“Of course she is. She’s married to you. Don’t tell me you really think you can keep her safe.” Her hand caressed my cheek, her eyes sad. “Nate, she was dead the moment you met her.”

My eyes squeezed tight, and I shook my head. “No! I can keep her safe.”

She stroked through my hair. “Really? I thought you weren’t going to be naïve any longer.”

My eyes snapped open, and I stared at the pain in hers. She leaned forward and kissed me. When she pulled back, it wasn’t Grace, but Lila who stared back at me.

“Do you really think you can keep me alive? Keep us alive?” She looked down, her hand running soothing circles on her round stomach.

It felt like there was a vice locked down around me. “I will do anything to keep you safe.”

She stepped back, pain filling her face. “Why aren’t you seeing it? Why are you blind?”

My brow scrunched. “I don’t understand.”

The air swirled around, lightning cracking. She closed the distance between us in the skittering blink of an eye, her face inches from mine.

“Lila will still be dead.”

I sat up. Confusion filled me, and it took me a moment to realize I was in our bedroom. My breath was coming out in hard, harsh pants as I took in the darkness.

Dream. It was all a dream.

I looked next to me to find Lila inches away, staring at me with wide, worried eyes. The constriction around my chest loosened and a strangled croak escaped me. She moved closer and wrapped her arms around me, holding me close.

“Shhh, I’m here. I’m with you, baby. We’re going to be okay.”

That was the moment I knew Lila held my weight on her shoulders. I was dragging us both down, and it made me face with the horrible truth I’d denied—Lila wouldn’t live without me.

The only way to save her was to save myself, and there was no way to do that.