The Book of Firsts

Twenty

Friday was full of rain.

Making my way to the dovecote, I decided to add some lemon and ginger to my shopping list, and to make sure I ate particularly healthy as autumn grew colder and wetter. I couldn’t afford many sick days this year. Folding my umbrella, I settled myself on the bench in the dovecote, feeling that it wasn’t a very pleasant place to wait on the days it was actually needed. Wondering if it would be Rin or Bran today, I marked myself present on the app and idly scrolled through the school forums while I waited.

Half an hour later, I deactivated the Cheshire app and went off to Art Club, not sure whether to be annoyed or anxious, since it was a Friday, and possibly time for another boobytrap. Could Rin or Bran be lying somewhere hurt?

Worry made it difficult to work on my model, but there were at least plenty of people in Club that afternoon, providing helpful distraction. I could, of course, send a message through the app, but I’m not a person completely without a temper, and being left in the rain without any kind of apology made me disinclined to reach out.

The forums proved invaluable for getting through the day, since there were threads specifically devoted to taking pictures of the school luminaries, and soon enough a photo of Rin and Kyou together showed up. The chances of Bran simply choosing to stand me up were much higher, and so I relaxed a little, but didn’t truly let go of worry until a photo of Bran walking in the rain caused a little stir of excitement.

He did look beautiful. And I was relieved that he wasn’t hurt. But mainly I was sorry, because this meant the end of my game with the Three Kings.

It had been clear all along that Bran couldn’t decide whether he wanted to participate, but leaving me to sit in the rain without sending a message had consequences. Even if he changed his mind, I couldn’t put up with that level of discourtesy. Nor was it a game that could continue without Bran, since he had been the purpose of it all in the first place.

I went home, not in the mood for socialising, and didn’t even bother to try to sleep, despite having a flight to catch in the morning. Insomnia is as much a mental as a physical issue, and my head was in the wrong place, so it was better to indulge in one of the computer games I’d been denying myself rather than waste energy trying to will myself not to think about what today had lost me.

There was no question that the game was over, but what kept my mind working overtime was whether Rin and Kyou would ever have anything to do with me again. This was something I’d known I would face from the very beginning—it was inevitable this game would end on a low note, with an air of regret and loss. I’d still chosen to play, but I found I’d started thinking of Rin and Kyou as friends quicker than I expected. The sex was a trivial issue. There were plenty of attractive boys in the school, some of whom I liked, and suspected were interested in me. But I was seriously going to miss the wicked Rin hidden behind that mask of perfect student, and Kyou’s mixture of challenge and companionability.

For the moment I’d do nothing, and see if they would try to transition from this behind-the-scenes game to an open friendship.

It didn’t seem likely, but I couldn’t resist hoping.