The Secrets of a Lady

Chapter Nine

Audrey gave Noah a quick glance. Her brother’s normally handsome, smiling face was darkened with a deep frown, his brows furrowed until they almost hid his eyes. Though he hardly ever showed this darker side, Audrey knew full well what it meant. He was worried and considering forbidding her to continue with their plan. But that was impossible.

“You worry too much,” she reassured him with a smile that was brighter than she felt. “What can he do to me in Griffin home?”

“More than I would like to imagine.” Noah folded his arms with a grunt. “After all, Ellison virtually assaulted you in a carriage right outside my bloody window.”

“Don’t swear,” she admonished with a quick grin.

Noah couldn’t help but return the smile as he shook his head. “Don’t take the man too lightly, Audrey. It’s dangerous to underestimate your enemy.”

She nodded, but barely heard his words of wisdom as she watched Ellison stroll from his home down the street. His stride was purposeful as he reached Griffin’s door. Stepping back from the curtain so he wouldn’t see her watching him, Audrey turned back to her brother.

“He’s here.”

“Well, at least wait until the maid announces him unless you want him convinced that you liked his wretched kiss.” Noah scowled. “You never could wait for the proper moment before you acted.”

“And you always wait too long,” she countered with a brief pat on his arm as she passed by him. “That’s why we work so well together.”

Glancing in the mirror to check her hair one last time, Audrey saw she was rewarded by a grin from her sibling. She returned the smile as she pinched her cheeks and fluffed the curls around her face.

“So where is our host?” she asked, hoping her tone was unconcerned. “I haven’t seen him for a few days.”

It seemed Griffin was making good on his vow to stay away from her, for he hadn’t even eaten with Audrey and Noah since the evening when he’d kissed her nearly senseless. An evening that had haunted her every moment since.

“I’m not sure,” Noah said with a shrug. “He’s been acting very strange of late. Perhaps it’s returning to this house that makes him behave this way.”

With a frown, Audrey turned from the mirror. “Why would this house make him act differently? I would think coming home would be a good influence on him.”

Her brother’s answering frown was deep and there was a long silence before he spoke again.

“This place doesn’t hold only happy memories for Griffin. In fact, he might not have come here again if I hadn’t asked him.” He sighed. “Perhaps I did him a harm by forcing him back to London life.”

“But Luci died in the country,” Audrey said. “I would think anything that happened in London couldn’t compare to that blow.”

“There are worse things than the death of a loved one, Audrey,” he answered softly.

“Such as?”

She couldn’t think of anything worse than losing a wife so young and under such tragic circumstances.

“Betrayal,” her brother offered.

Before she could ask him to explain his cryptic remark, the door to the sitting room swung open and a maid appeared. Dropping a short curtsey for them, she said, “I beg your pardon, but Mr. Ellison is inquiring for you, Lady Audrey. He says he’s expected.”

Audrey covered her frustration with a smile. “Tell him I’ll join him momentarily.”

The maid nodded and left them alone again.

“Well, good luck. I’ll be down to ‘save’ you in a short time,” Noah said.

“My dear brother,” she answered with a shake of her head. “When will you and Griffin Berenger and the rest of the world learn I don’t need saving?”

With that, she turned on her heel and sailed out of the room with her head held high.

***

“Audrey,” Douglas Ellison said as he rose from his seat to hold out his hands to her. “I’m so glad you invited me this afternoon.”

Holding back a grimace, Audrey put her hands into his and forced a smile to her face. “I haven’t seen you since that night at the opera. I must admit I missed your most pleasant company.”

“As I’ve missed yours.” Ellison motioned to the place beside him on the ottoman.

Audrey hesitated, but then gave in to his request. She had to pick her battles if she was to defeat Douglas Ellison. No doubt he would be offended and suspicious if she avoided him physically. After all, he was supposed to be courting her.

God help her, she was supposed to behave as if she welcomed that courtship. Briefly closing her eyes, she tried to think of what made her body react with pleasure, not distaste. The only thing that came to mind was Griffin.

Griffin running his hands up and down her body. Holding her mouth captive with his own. Making her ache with longing from her head to her toes. And Griffin doing the things to her that Hannah had described a few days before. Interesting, titillating things that made her toes curl when she dared to think of them for more than a brief moment.

As she smoothed her skirts and nodded to the maid who poured their tea, Audrey tried to clear thoughts of Griffin from her head. He was only a distraction, a danger to the game of cat and mouse she was playing.

After the maid had gone, Douglas turned to her with gleaming gray eyes. “I must admit after our last encounter, I wondered if you would ever speak to me again.”

“You mean because you were so forward?” She somehow managed to keep her tone light and flirtatious.

“Yes.” He edged closer to her on the narrow couch and she just barely reined in her desire to move away an equal distance.

“I don’t condone that kind of behavior in my suitors, but I do understand how one could get swept away in a moment. After all, we’d just experienced the romance of the opera.” She nearly choked on her own insincerity.

“I’m glad you understand,” Ellison replied with a sigh of relief. “It’s difficult for a man of a certain age and disposition not to be driven to distraction by a beautiful woman such as you.”

With a pause, she calculated her next move. She needed to say or do something that would encourage Ellison to trust her, but wouldn’t give him the impression she wanted him to touch her again.

“Thank you, Douglas, er Mr. Ellison.”

A thin smile turned up his lips. “Of course you must call me by my given name, Audrey. Our friendship has progressed to a point where that kind of familiarity might be expected.”

Blushing, she shook her head and dropped her eyes. “Oh, Mr. Ellison, I’m not sure.”

“If you’re uncomfortable with calling me by my name in public, perhaps you’ll only do so in private,” he offered with a light touch of his hand on hers. It was cold and slightly clammy, reminding Audrey of a fish at market.

“Hmmm.” She pretended to ponder the inappropriate request. “Do you mean like a secret between us, Douglas?”

One corner of his lips bobbed up in triumph. “Yes, exactly.”

She batted her eyes just a flutter and looked at him with a slow smile. “Very well. I trust you enough to share a secret with you. I hope you feel the same way about me.”

“I do, Audrey.” Now his voice was deathly serious and he leaned forward a fraction, his eyelids heavy with what she now recognized as desire.

With a shiver, she stood up. “Now, Douglas, I see that same gleam in your eye that was there the night of the opera. I hope you understand if I don’t include passionate embraces as part of our relationship… at least not yet. A lady must protect her reputation, you know.”

With a purse of his lips, he sank back against the ottoman. “Of course. Your reputation was part of what drew me to you.”

“W-Well,” she stammered. “I’m glad I meet with your approval then. And that you understand my position.”

“Of course,” he said with a smooth smile she didn’t trust for even a moment. For the first time, she realized he would take what he wanted if it wouldn’t be given freely. He was only biding his time to have her.

She shifted uncomfortably. “It has been more than quarter of an hour.”

For once she was happy for the societal rules that said a man shouldn’t call for very long. Despite not learning anything useful about Ellison, she wanted him far away from her.

One of his eyebrows arched at her not-so-delicate hint and his eyes hardened. “Are you counting the minutes so closely, Audrey?”

With a quick internal curse, she returned to her seat. “Of course not,” she insisted. “But my brother and Lord Berenger may be. They’re both very protective of me.”

At that, Ellison straightened up and his nostrils flared. “Yes, I’ve noticed Lord Berenger’s ‘protective’ nature toward you at the opera. Are you certain you can trust him, my dear?”

“Whatever do you mean?” She felt a ridiculous impulse to defend Griffin. “Lord Berenger poses no threat to me.”

“I wonder. After all, the man should be coming out of mourning soon and here you are, right down the hallway from him.” Ellison’s eyes narrowed. “You would be easy enough prey.”

Audrey gave an affronted frown. “Mr. Ellison, do you really think I would allow you to court me while I gave Lord Berenger some kind of liberties? Is that the kind of woman you take me for?”

Ellison shook his head. “No, of course not. As I said a moment ago, I have every faith in you. It is Berenger I don’t trust.”

She said nothing, but turned her face so she wouldn’t reveal too much of the truth.

Ellison leaned closer. “Why don’t you and your brother consider leaving this house and coming to stay with me at my estate? You could enjoy my hospitality without bearing any of Berenger’s unwanted attentions.”

Audrey barely held back a laugh of contempt. Little did the bastard know that it was his attentions that gave her nightmares.

“Douglas…”

“Consider it,” he interrupted with an intense stare deep into her eyes. “Say you’ll consider it and I will believe you don’t wish Berenger to court you.”

Her blood ran cold. Ellison was asking her to choose between the two men. If she didn’t promise to mull over his dangerous offer, he would take it that she was picking Griffin.

“I–I will think about it,” she stammered. “Though it will ultimately be up to my brother where we stay in London.”

With a nod, he said, “I was hoping you would make the right decision. Now I should return to my work. Good afternoon, Audrey.”

He grasped her hand and raised it to his lips, pressing an excessively wet kiss on her fingertips.

“Good afternoon,” she repeated with a thin smile.

***

As soon as Ellison had departed the house, Griffin entered the sitting room in three long strides. “Why do you insist on putting yourself in danger?”

Audrey spun around from the mantel with wide, blue eyes.

“You startled me.”

She placed a hand on her heart and drew his gaze to the soft curves of her body. The woman was a damned distraction, and the way she made him feel when she touched him could only bring him trouble in the end.

“What should startle you is the way Ellison is reeling you in like a fish on a hook.” He waved his hand in the general direction of the blackguard’s home. “Why don’t you just strip down and wait for him in his bed, Audrey? Or better yet, load up a gun and let him fire away once he discovers you’ve been playing games with him?”

Her face darkened a shade, but he could see the hurt in her eyes as well as the anger at his sharp comment.

“Griffin,” she whispered. “That’s enough.”

“I agree. That is enough. You just promised a murderer and a traitor that you would consider moving yourself into his home and out of the modicum of protection you enjoy in these walls.”

“You were eavesdropping on my investigation?” she asked, her mouth dropping open in disbelief.

“No, I was passing by the door when you made your ridiculous vow.” He tilted his head. “And you’re avoiding the subject.”

“There wasn’t any choice.” She let out a long sigh. “Ellison believes you’re preying on my virtue. I told him I would consider moving to his home.”

“And you see no harm in that?”

“It’s a ruse to keep the man happy for the time being. A few words from Noah and it will all be avoided.” She turned away, but not before Griffin saw how tired she looked.

He bit back a heated retort and sat down in the closest chair. He hated to make her look so sad and defeated, but she didn’t seem to grasp the danger of what she was doing.

“You and your brother are so nonchalant about this operation,” he said. “But I cannot watch you march into the lion’s den with no armor, Audrey.”

She turned slowly to face him, her skin pale. She took a small step in his direction. “What are you saying?”

“Obviously my thoughts on this subject won’t be heeded, so I’m leaving tonight.”

“O-Our cover…” Audrey said. “Our case…”

“Don’t you see, I don’t give a damn about your case any longer.” Griffin wanted to grab her and shake some sense into her. Wanted to press his lips against hers and show her just how serious he was. “I can’t watch you harm yourself.”

“But if you go, we’ll have no chance to catch Ellison. Not only that, but he might even guess that my relationship with him was all a ruse. I’ll be in more danger then.” Her hand stirred at her side as if she wanted to take his.

Griffin wished she would. He wanted her to choose him over her case. Not that he would know what to do if she did. He still had no future to offer her.

“I want to protect you.”

“Help me protect our country and our Prince.” Her body swayed in his direction before she snapped back. “And that will protect me. Together we can beat Ellison.”

“Together.”

His body relaxed at that thought. He pushed to his feet and moved toward her. She tracked his every step and her breath shortened when he reached her. Against his better judgment and all the promises he’d made, he brought his hand down to brush her cheek gently. Her skin was soft and smooth beneath his rough fingertips, like the finest satin.

Audrey gave a soft sigh, almost a whimper, and closed her eyes for a brief moment to lean into his hand.

“Audrey!”

Griffin turned to see Noah standing in the doorway, both hands on his hips and eyes dark with anger. Breaking away from her, Griffin stifled a groan at his own stupidity. Here he’d promised not to touch Audrey again and he couldn’t seem to help himself.

“Noah.” She took a few steps toward her brother, her face darkening and her eyes wide. “Please.”

“I’d like to speak with you for a moment,” Noah said, looking evenly at Griffin though he spoke to Audrey.

Griffin held the gaze without blinking, feeling part foolish he’d betrayed his friend, and part defiant. Audrey had a right to choose whom she wanted in her life, Noah be damned.

Throwing a quick glance over her shoulder, Audrey met his eyes and mouthed, “I’m sorry.”

He smiled at her briefly, then watched her walk away after her brother. He wondered how he’d ever manage to let her leave permanently.

***

“What the hell are you doing, Audrey?” Noah shut his door behind them and gave her an exasperated stare.

“Nothing,” she said, though her emotions belied her statement. Her cheek still tingled where Griffin had touched her, and her heart throbbed when she thought of the tender look in his eyes.

“It can lead to nothing, of that I’m sure.” Noah walked to his window to lean against the glass. He crossed his arms and looked at her expectantly. “At least tell me why you’re doing this?”

Fidgeting against his pointed stare, she snapped, “I’m doing my job, Noah, nothing more. Well, my job and trying to stay out of Griffin’s way just as he asked me.”

“Ha!” Noah shook his head. “If anything you’re settling yourself into Griffin’s life, not removing yourself from it.”

Her cheeks flamed. “How?”

Somehow she’d hoped her growing feelings for Griffin weren’t as clear to everyone else as they were to her. She’d tried to avoid doing things that would draw attention to her heart, but sometimes they were inevitable. Like that moment in the drawing room. How was she to know Noah was watching?

“I see you studying Griffin. Whenever he comes into a room, you can’t keep your eyes off him.” Her brother arched an eyebrow.

Giving an exasperated sigh, she said nothing. There was no use trying to lie to her shrewd brother.

“When you talk to him, you touch his arm, you lean in close to him. I don’t think you even realize you do it,” he continued. “My God, you act like you might have a future with the man.”

She winced at his harsh words, though she knew he meant well and was right in his assessment. Despite her better judgment, she was finding herself drawn into Griffin’s existence each day.

“Do you really want to set yourself up for the kind of heartache you experienced five years ago? Griffin is attracted to you, he may even care for you, but after everything he’s been through, he’ll never be able to give you what you want. Or what you need.” Noah’s expression relaxed and he looked at her with the pure love of a concerned brother. “Do you want to go through that hurt again?”

“No,” she whispered. “Of course not.”

Noah straightened up and opened his arms. Though his words made her prickle with defensiveness, she walked into his embrace and allowed him to hug her.

“I adore you, Audrey. I don’t want to see you in pain.” His voice was muffled in her hair.

“I realize you mean well,” she conceded. “But I’m handling this as best I can. Griffin and I have already promised to stay away from each other. Today was an unfortunate slip, but I’ll be more careful in the future.”

Noah sighed as he released her. “Audrey, if I thought for a moment you could have a real future with Griffin Berenger, I would bless your relationship. After all, the man is my best friend.”

“But you don’t think I could.” Her tone was flat as she crossed back to the door and fiddled with the knob.

Noah shook his head. “Not because of you, Audrey. Grif has been through a lot in the past few years. I don’t think he would allow himself to love you, and after everything you’ve been through you deserve nothing less than love.”

Audrey sighed, turning the knob and opening the door. Before she left, she turned back.

“I’ve always wanted love, but perhaps it doesn’t exist after all. Perhaps it’s just a silly dream that no one really realizes. And if that’s true, then perhaps I’ve been fooling myself all along.”

“Audrey…” Noah called after her, but she ignored him as she hurried down the hallway into her chamber. Hannah looked up from a book as she entered, but she dropped it at her friend’s face.

“What is it?” She rose to her feet with wide eyes and an expectant frown.

“Nothing.” Audrey fought back tears as she flopped onto a chair.

“It isn’t nothing,” Hannah said.

“It can be no more than nothing,” Audrey snapped before she slammed her palm down on her dressing table and stared at herself in the mirror.

Most of the time when she gazed into the looking glass, Audrey still saw the little girl she’d once been. The awkward one who couldn’t dance to save her life, whose hair never quite stayed in place, who had freckles where all the other girls had creamy skin. Sometimes, though, when she was honest with herself, she could see the changes that had come over her.

With the help of her brother and Hannah, she had transformed into a woman. And while she wouldn’t go so far as to say she was a great beauty, she was pleasant enough to look at. Her red hair now took the complicated styles of the day, curling around her face in an almost attractive fashion.

She’d learned to dance from her brother, who’d taken the time and injury involved in teaching her the grace to glide across a floor rather than stampede. With the help of lemon juice and fantastic hats, her freckles had faded away.

With a bitter laugh, she turned away from her reflection. She had somehow become everything she had once wanted to be, but it still wasn’t enough. The one man she had wanted for what seemed like her whole life still didn’t want her. Or if he wanted her, he certainly didn’t want to keep her.

Hannah touched her hand. “Please, tell me what’s wrong.”

“I already told you, it’s nothing, Hannah,” Audrey said as she moved away to stare out the window at Griffin’s gardens and beyond over the city. “I just remembered that life isn’t always fair, no matter how much you change.”