The Secrets of a Lady

Chapter Two

“Audrey?”

She stared at Griffin without answer, caught up in how being so close to him still made her shiver. The look on his face was a cross between shock and horror, and her stomach tightened and twisted.

No, she wasn’t going to do this. These reactions were just guttural, just her body giving the response she’d so long ago trained it to give. The emotions weren’t real.

“Hello, my lord,” she whispered.

Griffin glared at Noah. “I heard that Audrey accompanied you on your travels, but I never believed you would be so irresponsible as to involve in this life. Your own flesh and blood? How could you be so idiotic?”

Audrey thought she saw her brother swallow back a laugh. For her part, she saw no humor in the situation. She wasn’t an infant! Through hard work, she had proven herself to Lord Golding, the head of the War Department. She didn’t need to prove anything to Griffin.

“I’m not a child, Viscount Berenger.” She was proud that ice hung from each pointed word. “And I am standing right here. If you’re going to lecture anyone about my well-being, I suggest you lecture me. Or try to, at any rate.”

Griffin stopped mid-sentence to look at her, his eyes wide with shock. She couldn’t bear to be under his close scrutiny and turned away.

“May we talk about the plan, please?” she murmured, carefully measuring her breaths in an effort to appear calm.

“There will be no plan I’m involved in.” Griffin’s voice was dangerously low. “I will not be any part of putting you in harm’s way.”

“My lord!” Audrey gasped. “You cannot mean that.”

If he didn’t help them, she and Noah were in trouble. It could take weeks to procure another place to reside in London, perhaps even longer due to the Jubilee’s start in June. By that time Douglas Ellison might slip through their fingers.

“No.” Griffin leaned back against his desk and gave his head a firm shake. “I refuse to help you.”

“This is about your country,” Audrey reasoned. “My involvement should mean very little to you in comparison to the consequences if you will not allow us to take up residence in your home.”

Griffin looked up at her, but this time the action was deliberate. Her breath shortened at the intensity of his stare.

“Yes, Audrey, you’re probably right. My country should mean more to me than you do.”

He left his statement at that and her breath went from short to nonexistent. He couldn’t be saying he cared for her. After all, he hadn’t seen her since she was barely more than a girl. Even then, his last memory of her was an awkward one at best.

“Be reasonable,” Noah said, his voice calm. Her brother had always been able to control his reactions better than Audrey. She supposed that was why they’d made such a good team all these years. “Listen to what you’re saying.”

“I know exactly what I’m saying.” Griffin spun to face his friend. “And I mean it.”

“Noah.” Audrey took a deep breath.

Despite his outward calm, she sensed her brother’s anger coming to the surface and she didn’t want it to bubble out. It would do no good for their mission, and even less good to a friendship he had valued for nearly three decades.

“Noah,” she repeated when her brother continued to glare at Griffin. “Why don’t you go into the hallway for a moment? I’d like a moment alone with Viscount Berenger.”

“Audrey?” Noah touched her arm and said softly, “Are you certain that is wise?”

She loved her sibling for understanding how difficult it was for her to be in the same room with Griffin, let alone unaccompanied with him. Not because she loved him. No. Those feelings had been squelched long ago. But because his presence reminded her of the fool she had once been.

“I’ll be fine.” She squeezed the hand her brother had laid on her arm.

Turning to give Griffin one last glance, Noah nodded. “Very well. I’ll be just outside. Perhaps you’ll be able to talk some sense into my bull-headed friend.”

Griffin snorted loudly. “That, Lord Lockhart, is doubtful!”

Audrey shook her head as Noah slammed the door behind him. She would never understand men no matter how long she lived. How they could fight, even exchange blows from time to time, and still remain friends was beyond her comprehension.

She drew in a sharp breath as Griffin moved a fraction closer.

“I–I-” she stammered, caught off guard by the intensity that had returned to his dark stare. “I am so sorry about Luci.”

She winced as she said the words. They sounded false, even worse since she was trying to convince Griffin to help them. Yet, she did feel the pity she expressed, despite Luci’s hatred for her, and even the rumors and grief Griffin’s wife had caused. Losing someone so young, especially at a time that should have been joyful like the birth of a child, was heartbreaking.

“Thank you,” he choked out. He turned to look out the window behind him.

“I would have accompanied Noah to the funeral, but…” She stopped.

How could she explain to this grief-stricken man that his wife had once threatened to destroy her? Worse yet, had followed through on her threats with vigor.

“I understand,” he murmured. “You and Luci were never close. Thank you for your sympathy.”

He had distanced himself from her, from the subject. Now he was only repeating words he’d said a hundred times to a hundred other people. In his heart, he was no longer even in the same room as she.

She struggled to find words to bring him back. “We… we wouldn’t be in your way, I promise you. We would only stay in the house for proximity purposes.”

“That is not exactly true, is it?” Any suffering he’d felt the moment before was wiped from his face when he looked at her, leaving behind only irritation. “As your host, I would have some duties in this little charade, wouldn’t I?”

“No!” She took an involuntary step closer. “This is dangerous business, we would never let you come in harm’s way.”

With a low chuckle, Griffin took a long step in her direction, and she found herself just a few inches from him. Leaning down, he brought his face close to hers. “You will only put yourself in danger, eh?”

Audrey desperately tried to find her voice, but couldn’t. Not when Griffin’s body heat warmed her and the smell of his shaving soap left her all too aware of him. For a moment, she thought he’d say something else. Instead, he backed away to put more distance between them. The added space helped her find both a measure of calm and her voice.

“I assure you, I have been trained to deal with this kind of danger, my lord,” she said. “I can handle myself.”

Griffin glared at her. His tone was clipped when he spoke. “Fine, I shall assume you can. But I’ll still be expected to attend some of these functions with you, won’t I? What will there be, a few balls, perhaps a night at the theatre? I’ll be forced to attend, no matter that I wouldn’t have brought myself within a league of those events on my own accord, especially so soon after Luci’s death.”

His eyes clouded momentarily and sent an ache through Audrey.

“I admit, I hadn’t thought of those things.” This situation was rapidly slipping out of her control. “But Noah and I wouldn’t ask you this favor if we didn’t truly need your help.”

At that, the heat left Griffin’s eyes and his shoulders sagged. “I know.”

Inching closer, Audrey held out a trembling hand and placed it on Griffin’s arm. Through his jacket she felt the muscles contract, but he didn’t pull away. He simply stared at her hand as if he didn’t know what it was.

“Please.” She whispered the word, not for effect, but because she didn’t trust her voice not to break if she forced it louder. “I shall be safer in your home than I would be anywhere else in London. I beg of you, do this one thing for me.”

For a fraction of a second, he kept his focus on her hand, but then she found herself lost in a dark sea of brown when he met her gaze squarely.

“You’re so different,” he murmured, then shook his head as if he hadn’t meant to voice the words. Gently, he shrugged out of her grip. “Very well. I will make for London as soon as I am able. You and Noah may follow in a few days.”

He accentuated his remark with a sigh that let Audrey know just how much he hated the idea. But hate it or not, she had won. She let out her breath in a relieved burst.

“Thank you. We’ll stay out of your way as much as we can, my lord.”

She turned to leave, but he caught her hand to stop her. His palm warmed her even through her gloves as he pulled her closer.

“You should call me Griffin. After all, we’re childhood friends, there’s no need for such formality between us.” His voice was gentle now that he’d surrendered to her request.

With a wince, Audrey slipped her hand from the protective circle of his and shook her head. “I’m no longer a child, my lord. Good day.”

With a nod, she hurried to the door and out in to the hallway, eager to escape before her conflicted feelings made her say or do something rash. Noah straightened up from his position leaning on the wall as she exited.

“He said yes,” she said with a smile.

“Perfect!” Her brother swept her up in a hug.

As she squeezed him back, her relief began to fade. Because of Griffin’s surrender, for the next few months she would be able to do her duty, but at what cost? Because if being in the same room with Griffin for only a few moments was difficult, she couldn’t imagine what it would be like to live under the same roof.

***

Griffin settled into a chair beside the crackling fire and covered his face with his hands. What had he just done? No, he knew the answer to that question. He had opened Pandora’s Box and now it was too late to turn back.

“Audrey.”

Her name burned his lips as much as her kiss had five years before.

Uttering a quiet curse, he stood and walked to the window. Below, he watched Audrey and Noah ride down the long road that lead to the village. She grinned at something her brother said, then tossed a curl off her shoulder. Griffin’s whole body responded with an awareness that had been foreign for years.

The past quarter of an hour alone with her had been pure torment. He’d ached for… but no. He wouldn’t think of that.

He had never spoken about the way he felt for Audrey, not even to Noah. His best friend had only known about Luci’s transgressions, but he’d never imagined that thoughts of Audrey haunted Griffin’s dreams, made him look at every woman differently.

His wife may have betrayed him with her body, but he had done the same to her with his mind. Perhaps Luci had sensed that betrayal, perhaps it had pushed her into the arms of man after man while Griffin sat home longing for a woman he couldn’t have.

He hadn’t always thought of Audrey that way. For long, ignorant years he had thought of her as nothing more than the younger sister of his best friend. Her tendre for him had been evident, but he had never returned those feelings. After all, he had Luci and Luci was enough for any man.

Until his wedding day.

When Audrey had pressed her lips against his, she had stirred something inside him unlike anything he’d ever felt before. If Luci hadn’t come in and broken them apart, he probably would have swept Audrey up against him and kissed her until neither one of them could breathe or think.

How many times had he imagined doing just that since that day? With a groan, he rubbed his eyes. Probably a hundred. Maybe even more.

“Cotter!” he barked out as he mixed himself another drink.

His butler appeared in the doorway. “Yes, my lord?”

“Direct the staff to prepare my things. I shall be departing for London tomorrow.”

He downed the drink in one swig before he glanced over at the butler. As he expected, if the man was surprised by Griffin’s sudden order he displayed no indication of it.

“Of course, my lord,” the man said with a nod. “And may I say, I think a change of pace may be just the thing you need, my lord. The staff has been very concerned about you since Lady Berenger died.”

Griffin managed a smile at Cotter’s kindness. If his servants knew how he really felt they wouldn’t have sympathy for him.

Here they thought he was still in mourning, pining for the wife he loved. In reality, he was often relieved no one had discovered she was cuckolding him with any man she could find above eighteen and below ninety. Eventually the talk would have begun, the whispers. But all that was over now.

The child Luci had been birthing when death had taken her was another story. He truly did mourn for the little life inside her, though he knew the baby boy wasn’t his. A bastard was Luci’s legacy to him.

“My lord?” Cotter asked, his tone concerned.

Glancing up, he nodded. “I’m sorry, what were you saying?”

“I hope I haven’t offended you, sir.” The older man looked genuinely worried, and Griffin smiled to ease his mind.

“No, Cotter, you didn’t,” he said. “I appreciate the staff’s kind concern for my well-being.”

The butler bowed. “I shall begin the preparations for your departure immediately, my lord.”

“Thank you.”

“How long do you think you will be in Town?”

Griffin shut his eyes. How long would a major investigation last? The longer it took, the longer he’d be in Audrey’s company.

“Perhaps all summer,” he said with a barely perceptible shiver.

“Well, that’s a good length of time to spend with friends, sir,” Cotter said. “Good afternoon.”

Friends. Could he be a friend to Audrey? There wasn’t any other choice. He would keep his distance when he could, and be cordial when he was forced to be. It seemed the only way he would survive the next few months.