Unbroken Season 1

Chapter 10 The Love Of A Good Fight Part 2

“…When we cry I know where to place the blame and reasons why are given but that’s only part of the game. And all is forgiven…”

It was a different atmosphere in the 300Z now than the last time she rode in the car. Sam sat quietly staring out the window as her mind tried to reason out the events of the last forty minutes or so. God, what happened there? One minute I’m in love and the next minute I feel… The blonde mused over what it was that she was feeling at this time. She still didn’t know for sure. Is it betrayal that I’m feeling or is it just disappointment in a relationship gone sour? Sam closed her eyes and thought of crying to relieve the pain. She bit back on her lip and sniffed, trying to hold the tears at bay.

Noticing the near breakdown of her roommate, C.C. broke the ice and started to speak. “Okay, will you please tell me what in the hell is going on here?” The brunette pulled up to the stop sign and looked over to her friend, “What happened?”

“What happened?” Sam mimicked C.C., “You wanna’ know what happened?” The blonde turned and looked at C.C., “I want to know about what kind of game she’s playing, telling me she’s Loran.” Green eyes pleaded, “Why didn’t you tell me she’s psychotic…or delusional?”

“You’re wrong Sam, she is Loran,” C.C. said with the straightest face she possessed.

“Yeah, and I’m Sam Adams, but that doesn’t make me a beer now, does it?” The blonde looked away before her question was answered.

“Sam, my sister, Brooke…” C.C. acknowledged the horn tooting at her from behind and shot the driver an obscene hand gesture before she pulled out from the stop sign as she continued her explanation. “She is Brooke Loran from Anti-Zero. Why don’t you believe her?”

“Okay, I can see that this is some sort of family game. So, who are you then…Christina Aguilera?” Sam crossed her arms over her chest and turned her head to stare out the side window, “And no, I don’t believe her.”

“We…” C.C. started then changed her mind, “I hate to break it to you then, because it’s your loss. She’s not lying to you and neither am I.”

“Okay, so you’re Pink then,” Sam looked at the woman long enough to smile insincerely, then turned back toward the blurred countryside.

“You know,” the driver tried to control her anger. “An hour ago you were so in love with my sister,” C.C. bit her lower lip to refrain from what she was going to say. “I’ve never seen her any happier than she’s been in the last few weeks with you. We’ve been trying to get her to come out of that shell of hers and finally fucking live for over three years now. That band was her life and when it died, part of her died along with it.”

“Well, apparently she brought some friends with her,” Sam snapped.

“What in the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“C.C.,” Sam paused for only a second, her green eyes flashing with fury before saying, “Just drive, I don’t want to think any more.”

The brunette took in a deep breath before she spoke, “You know Sam, I love you like I love my real sisters.” She stole a glance at her passenger, “I really do.”

“But?” came Sam’s off-the-cuff reply.

“But, so help me God, if anything happens to Brooke because you’re too fucking stubborn to listen to her…” C.C. drew in a breath as she came to a stop in the line of traffic. “You’ll regret the day you met me.”

“I’m beginning to regret that now.” Sam muttered under her breath, “you and your set ups. Yeah… sure, why not threaten me, too?”

Brown eyes leveled a cold stare at the blonde. “Yeah? Well, you were more than willing to go along with it, weren’t you?” C.C. turned her eyes back to the traffic, “She finally started to enjoy living again because of you and if you’ve taken that away from her…”

“Me, take that away? What did you expect me to do?” Sam turned on a sweeter sounding voice filled with false empathy, “Sure, Honey, it’s okay if you want to be Loran tonight. Go right ahead.”

“Damn it, Sam!” C.C. hit the steering wheel with her open hand, and then followed the line of cars down the street. “What in the name of hell will it take for you to believe her?”

Sam sat quietly, still shocked by her roommate’s display of frustration.

“Do you think someone forged those gold and platinum albums in that hallway downstairs? You think she made them up just to impress you?”

“What albums?” Sam’s mind reran her stored images of the hallway and kept coming up empty at the mention of gold and platinum albums.

The car reacted violently to the jerk of the wheel as C.C. pulled the 300Z off onto the side of the highway, then turned to look the stunned woman in the face. “Damn it, Sam. Right past the studio doors are two gold and three platinum albums. AND two Grammys. Hell, there’s even MTV Video Music Awards with pictures of her and all of us girls with Mom and Dad at each of the ceremonies.” C.C. watched helplessly as vacant-looking green eyes stared back at her.

“I never saw any…” Sam brought her hand up to her face as she began to think back on that first day at Brooke’s house and the guided tour. She didn’t let me get down that far. She got me into that studio without ever letting me finish looking at those pieces of memorabilia. The blonde sat silent as she realized why Brooke had taken that detour into the studio at the first opportunity.

C.C. sat back in her seat and let her thoughts come to her lips, “How in the hell do you think a thirty year old can afford that house? What about the land? This car? And buy her own business?” The brunette shrugged as she corrected herself, “Well, start her own business.”

“She told me that she invested wisely…” Sam whispered.

“Yeah, with the royalty checks she received from the record company.” C.C. smirked at the difference there was between her sister and the other members of the group. “James and Peter just pissed theirs away on all of their little flavors of the week and what do they have now? Nothing. Not a God-damned thing.” C.C. slapped the visor down in emphasis to what she was saying.

The quick, aggressive motion accentuated by the loud thump drew Sam’s attention, immediately causing her to catch a glimpse of something falling from where the visor had been in place. Sam shook her head in disbelief. “Well, I guess I know where she keeps her real identification at. You know, she tried telling me to look in her wallet. What was that going to prove? Hell, I even carry a fake I.D. in my wallet. Every college student carries a fake I.D. around…”

“Sam,” C.C. turned to address her roommate, “she isn’t a college student. Brooke is 30 years old.” The brunette reached down to pick up the fallen articles. “What the…” she muttered as a smile started to come to her face. “Okay, you said that you knew where she keeps her real identity now, right?” C.C. stared at the items in her hand.

“Yeah, that’s what I said.” Sam mocked her with the rise of a single eyebrow, and then crossed her arms over her chest.

With trembling fingers C.C. peeled back the open envelope flap, revealing exactly what she had thought she’d find. “Here, Sam.” The woman shuffled through the couple of photographs that she took out of the envelope. “Here’s your proof.” C.C. held them out for the younger woman to see. “Brooke has a thing for her vehicles. She keeps a picture of her first one with her present mode of transportation just to remember how it used to be.”

The blonde was dubious as to how this was going to prove Brooke’s true identity as she glanced down at the photographs. “So she had a van, C.C. what does that…”

“A van, but not just any van, Sam. Look at the license plate on it, the writing on the side panel,” C.C. beamed a winning smile, “and that’s Mom and me sending her off on her first road trip up to Georgetown University where Anti-Zero was playing that weekend.”

The words caught Sam by surprise. Georgetown was their first stop on that limited tour. She probably just gave them a ride. The young woman held her hand out to C.C., “Let me see.”

“Sam, I’m telling you, Brooke is Loran and these will prove it.”

Small hands brought the photographs closer for a more thorough examination of their images. Green eyes took in the old beat-up Chevy van with the crisp white and red Anti-Zero logo painted on the side, the plate in the front reading ‘A-Z’, and several people. Now, Sam was intrigued and she studied each of the faces in the photograph. Of the three visible, the driver was the tallest as she stood half in and half out of the door, her short, streaked blonde hair blowing in the breeze around the sunglasses that were on top of her head, letting more of her face show. A lone, raised eyebrow could be seen, cast in the direction of the much younger looking pre-teen with braces.

Letting her eyes drift to the third and final person in the photograph, Sam knew without a doubt that it was a younger version of Mrs. Gordon. The hairstyle was exactly the same, only with much less gray in it. Just like Aunt Sandy, same hairstyle, no matter what decade. Then it dawned on her. “Oh my God.” Sam’s eyes riveted back to the taller image and she scrutinized the face once more, only this time imaging it with long, dark hair.

C.C. could tell that the pieces were starting to add up for Sam and she found herself gloating. “Yeah, I remember that day like it was yesterday. Mom was seeing another one of the girls off and Brooke was warning me that she’d hold me upside down and smack my head on the floor if I gave Mom any trouble.” The brunette smiled fondly, as she subconsciously rubbed the top of her head with her one hand. “You know, Brooke’s the only one that could ever do that. She’s got that same look on her face that she always has when she threatens me.”

“That’s you?” Sam looked back to the glittering metal braces on the young girl in the photo. Sure enough, it was. She could see the resemblance now to the woman sitting next to her.

“Well, it’s not exactly my most flattering pose…” C.C. was certain that she’d made her point. It was time for her to think about getting back to check on her sister and she started watching for a break in the highway traffic.

Sam studied C.C.’s face, then glanced away and looked back again as the woman pulled the car out onto the off ramp leading to the campus. “You are telling me the truth, aren’t you?”

“Yes,” C.C. turned the corner and headed for the only parking spot in sight. “Now, if you want to go inside, go ahead. I have to make sure that my sister is alright.” She backed the car into the tight space, going back and forth so as not to hit either car around her. “Unlike some people, I love her and care about what happens to her.” She finally cut the wheel hard enough to make it to the curb as she mumbled under her breath, “No telling what she might do.”

Hearing the soft-spoken words, Sam closed her eyes and considered what C.C. may have meant by it. Not wanting to consider any negative thoughts, Sam took a deep breath, willing them to go away.

“We’re here, get out. I have things I need to do,” C.C. sat staring straight ahead. Her sister was now the only thing on her mind.

The blonde didn’t budge, except to shake her head. “Take me back, C.C. I think I’ve made a very big mistake.”

“What?” C.C.’s head turned faster than her brain could keep up as she sat there staring at Sam for a moment. “You’ve got to be kidding me. You’re damn right you made a mistake. Give me one good reason why I should take you back instead of tossing you out of this car right now.”

“I’m not kidding, C.C.” Sam looked down at her hands, “If she really is Loran,” she lifted her head to view C.C., “I…I need…”

“No, Sam. She’s Brooke. Loran is gone. She’s just plain and simple Brooke.”

Sam nodded at C.C.’s correction. “I need to tell Brooke that I’m sorry,” the words were spoken with remorse.

The brunette looked at Sam, then out the windshield as she tried to get her breathing under control. She was pissed as all hell and the tapping of her fingers on the steering wheel was only the beginning of what she wanted to be doing when she thought of someone hurting her sister.

“C.C., look, I was a fool,” Sam said disgusted at herself. “A stupid, childish fool.”

“Yeah?” C.C. turned to look at the blonde, “Well, she needed you to listen to her.” The woman bit her lip, “Hell, she just needed you.”

“I can’t let it end like this…not this way,”

C.C.’s eyes shot over to Sam briefly. “She didn’t end it. You did.”

Sam shook her head. “I know… Please, at least let me tell her that I’m sorry for not believing her,” Sam reached out and touched her roommate’s arm. “Besides, I’d like to know why she felt she couldn’t trust me. You can’t build a relationship without trust C.C.”

The angry brunette woman looked down at the small sign of comfort and drew in a defeated breath before uttering a single word, “Fine.” With that, C.C. slammed the car into first and worked her way out of the parking space. Once free of its confinement, she pushed her right foot down on the gas pedal and hauled ass to get back to her sister’s house.

Knowing that it would take some time to get back to Brooke, Sam dug her cell phone out of her pocket and proceeded to dial Brooke’s number.

“Look at this traffic,” C.C. gritted her teeth. “I can’t believe this shit.”

Sam held the phone to her ear listening for the familiar voice, but it never came. Pulling it away from her ear and hitting the button marked ‘end’ Sam pondered aloud, “Why wouldn’t she answer her phone?” With a startled realization she turned to C.C., “You don’t think that…”

Both women held their breaths for a second as a cold chill ran down their bodies. C.C. turned toward Sam and glared, then quickly cast her attention back to the road with a renewed fervor to get to Brooke.

“Can’t you go any faster?” Sam asked, her eyes remained glued to the road.

The 300 pulled crisply into the driveway and stopped just short of the house as Sam looked out the window, feeling the first of many tears start to spill over her lashes.

Throwing the gearshift into park, C.C. looked over at her passenger. “Why are you crying now?”

“C.C., why didn’t I believe her? God, if something happens to her on my account…” Sam sniffed back a tear, “I’ll…just…” The blonde’s attention was caught by the sound of a dog barking, “Mario?”

Without waiting another second, C.C.’s door was open and the tall brunette was heading toward the porch as she called for her sister’s pet, “Mario.” She looked around for the dog then called again, “Mario, come here boy.” Seeing the dog round the side of the house, C.C. bent over to intercept the animal that was on a definite course to Sam, “Where’s your mommy. Boy?”

The animal strained at the collar that C.C. held onto, making whimpering sounds and small sharp barks directed at Sam. C.C. looked around for any sign of her sister but the older woman was nowhere to be seen. The woman studied the dog for a moment then got up and went to the key pad on the porch and punched in the numbers to unlock the door. The red light stayed on, never changing to green. C.C. tried it again but the outcome was no different, “Shit, she’s changed the damn code.”

Sam’s eyes grew wide with alarm as she took off around the building for the back door. She was followed closely by the long strides of C.C. as Mario chased after them, dodging in and out of their legs, almost tripping the tall brunette several times.

The need to find the missing woman was evident in Sam’s voice as she called out the name, while she climbed the stairs to the back deck, “Brooke… Brooke…” Sam slid into the door when it wouldn’t budge. “Damn it, Brooke where are you? Brooke, open the door,” she sank to her knees, still jingling the doorknob, “Open the goddamn door!”

C.C. could see the desperation in Sam’s face as her tears flowed freely. “Oh, hell… hang on,” the brunette came up behind Sam and bent down, lifting up the flap on the doggie door. After a moment or two of maneuvering and a few grumbled phrases, C.C.’s tall, thin body was on the other side of the door and unlocking it for Sam.

As soon as the door was open, both Mario and Sam came bursting into the room, looking wildly for the woman in question.

“Brooke,” C.C. called out hoping her sister would answer.

Sam leaned down and petted the dog, “Mario, where’s your mommy? Go find her, Boy.”

The dog looked at Sam, sniffed, and then ran over to the door leading to the studio downstairs. His gruff barks and high-pitched whining startled them both as he started pawing at the door.

“Oh, God, C.C. you don’t think that…” Sam’s hand rose to her mouth.

Pushing past Sam, C.C. threw open the door and went running down the stairs, screaming out her sister’s name, “Brooke! Brooke…” the name trailed off as the brunette saw the shambles that was once the well decorated hallway when she hit the bottom of the stairs.

The floor was littered with broken glass and bent picture frames, along with numerous photos of Anti-Zero. C.C. just stood and stared for a moment, knowing just how badly her sister must have hurt to trash the last reminders of that time in her life.

Seeing C.C. stop so abruptly at the bottom of the stairs, Sam hesitated, praying that Brooke was all right. Green eyes looked cautiously around the debris that covered the floor. The familiar photos that she had admired for the first time a week ago were strewn about like some worthless garbage.

Intrigued by the hint of gold, Sam descended the remaining few steps and retrieved what had caught her eye. The now-broken statue was secured to a base that had the insignia of the record industry on it, The Grammy for best new group, Anti-Zero. Sam reached down and picked up the photo that was next to the other half of the statue. All the people looked younger but Sam could tell who it was. Mable Gordon and her husband were standing behind their beaming daughters. They all pretty much looked alike, well, except for the one with short, blonde streaked hair. “No, Brooke,” Sam shook her head, “No.”

Gingerly, C.C. walked around the mementos on the floor, making her way to the studio where she looked for Brooke and upon finding her, let out a sigh of relief.

“C.C. is she in there?” Sam held her breath waiting for the news.

“Yes, she’s in there.” The youngest sibling raised her eyes to the ceiling and mumbled out a prayer of thanksgiving, “Thank you, God. She’s playing…Oh my God, she’s playing her guitar.” C.C.’s voice sounded shaky and she reached for the button on the console allowing Brooke’s voice to be carried across the speakers for them both to hear.

The strains of guitar music and a softly sung melody came across the sound system. Sam listened to it for a moment before letting the words come from her mouth. “She plays guitar, too. What else don’t I know about her?”

The brunette leaned up against the door frame as she watched Brooke play and jot down the song that she was working on. “You know, when I was little, I’d have nightmares. I never ran to Mom and Dad or Randi or Terri…” C.C. thought back to those days. “I used to run into Brooke’s room.” The woman smiled at the memory. “Hell, I used to tell her I had a bad dream just so she’d sing to me.” C.C. turned around and looked whimsically at Sam. “You can’t imitate that, Sam.” The brunette moved her head to the beat of the music. “That’s a God-given talent.”

Sam closed her eyes and listened to the words for a moment.

Every day I walk down and see you passing by. Every hour I can’t even close my eyes without seeing you and wishing you would care. You look over and smile and all I do is stare…

What if I came crawling to you on my hands and knees? What if I could find the words to say? Would you give me a second glance if I were at your feet? Would you even look my way?

I’ve spent so long on the outside looking in, just to see your smile shining through the dim; Breaking through these walls around this crying heart. One look from you and it all falls apart…

What if I came crawling to you on my hands and knees? What if I could find the words to say? Would you give me a second glance if I were at your feet? Would you even look my, even look my, even look my way?

When Sam opened her eyes again, C.C. had pushed off the door frame and began walking back toward the stairs. The shorter woman hung her head; unable to forgive herself that she hadn’t believed Brooke earlier. “I’m a fool,” she muttered, then opened the door, only to have the acoustic instrument go sailing by, striking the wall off to her right and shattering with a horrendous noise as the wood crumbled and the strings snapped.

The sulking woman just sat there with her head in her hands and her elbows on her knees.

“Brooke?” Sam ventured a step or two into the room. “I’m sorry that I didn’t believe you.” The blonde took another step closer, and then added, “I just thought that you were trying to be something that you weren’t to get closer to me.”

The dark-haired woman remained sitting, without saying a word, just staring off into space.

“I guess I screwed things up, didn’t I?” Sam’s voice was hardly more than a whisper now as she edged her way closer to the human form.

The older woman sighed, and then slowly shook her head. “I never lied to you. I might not have told you everything… but I never lied to you.” Brooke paused for a moment before beginning to speak again, “I also never asked to be Brooke Loran. I never wanted to be…”

“I can see that now,” Sam stopped within an arm’s length of the woman. She reached out to comfort her, but hesitated, drawing her arm back and thrusting her hand into her jeans back pocket.

“I told you I don’t come out too often.” She mumbled under her breath, “I never really let anybody see…”

“I’m sorry; I don’t know what else to say, Brooke.” The blonde bit at her lip, then began to speak. “You’re not some animal that needs to be locked away in some cage…”

That caused Brooke to smirk, “You’ve never seen me pissed off.”

Sam looked around at the shambles of the hallway, then back to Brooke, “I think we can safely say that I’ve seen the aftermath…”

“No, Sam. Hurt and anger are two entirely different things.”

“I’m sorry… I… I didn’t mean…” Sam’s voice became non-existent then. After a pause, the young woman whispered, “But you hurt me too, Brooke. I thought we trusted one another.”

“I love you, Sam and at the same time, I’m scared to death to love you…”

“Scared? Scared of what?” Sam waited anxiously as she tried to figure out how she was affecting the older woman.

“Take today for instance. I try to think of being without you and I… I can’t even breathe.”

“It just happened, Brooke. It wasn’t your fault.” Sam looked away from the musician as she confessed, “I guess you could say that I provoked it.”

“But why?” Brooke turned to face Sam, “What did I do?”

“I… I…” Sam stuttered, groping for words. “I shouldn’t have come busting in here accusing you of something that you weren’t doing. I jumped to a conclusion and I was wrong.”

The sullen woman hung her head and studied her knees intently before speaking, “It’s my fault. I should have told you sooner.”

“Sooner? You mean you actually thought of telling me at all?” Sam looked at Brooke with unbelieving eyes. “Didn’t you trust me Brooke?”

“Damn it, Sam.” Brooke clenched her jaw as her eyes shown fire. “I’ve been fighting with myself over telling you since that night at the movies.”

“Well, now you’re fighting with me,” green eyes challenged with a fire all their own. “It must run in your life… huh?”

“Baby, I’m not trying to fight with you,” Brooke slowly closed her eyes and inhaled. “I trusted you but look at it from my end…”

“No, you’re just telling me that you didn’t trust me with something that important about you… something that…”

Brooke hastily replied, “Put yourself in my shoes for a moment,” one dark eyebrow raised high on the woman’s brow. “What would you have done?”

“I would have been honest and up front with it. I hope you had a good laugh at my expense.” The blonde stared intently at Brooke, before looking away.

“No! Look in my eyes, Sam.” Brooke requested. “Does it look like I’ve been laughing?” Puffy, red rimmed, blue eyes looking up, staying glued to Sam’s head waiting for her to turn around.

There was a moment of pain as Sam gazed upon those once lovely blue eyes that she had so often dreamed about over the course of the last few weeks. She felt compelled to answer as she tried to stay mad, “Yeah, well, I’m not laughing now either, am I?” Green eyes grew restless as they strove to make their point.

“Actually Sam,” Brooke started then looked away. “I did trust you,” then she became very pensive and whispered, “I believed you when you said nothing would ever make you feel different about me. But the very first thing you did was run out once you knew who I was.

“Damn it anyhow, Brooke.” Sam’s voice was raised in anger. “I didn’t know. I thought you were imitating her to get in better with me.”

Brooke couldn’t believe what she had just heard. The taller woman’s mouth opened in shock and she slowly mustered the ability to make her thoughts audible. “Sam, you know more about me than anyone. I thought you knew me better than to think that I would try to imitate her… or anyone else to get to you.”

Hurt was written across Sam’s face as she realized for the first time what Brooke might be thinking of her. “You know, I had every intention of apologizing when I came back here.” Sam paused, slumped her shoulders forward, then in tones barely loud enough to be heard, she said, “Now, I’m not so sure I’d know how or that I’d want to.”

“Sam, please…” Brooke pleaded. “I’m sorry I hurt you but, I didn’t come out of this unscathed either.”

The blonde looked around at the shambles of the hallway. “Yeah, you’re right. But a little tape and glue will patch those up.” Sam pointed to the jumble of photographs, frames, and glass on the floor. “I’m not sure what it would take to mend us,” her voice trailed off, “or if it’s even possible.”

“Don’t you understand?” Brooke stood up. “I could care less about that shit out there,” Brooke motioned to the hallway and the smashed guitar by the entranceway of the room. “I care about you. I want you. I love you.” Blue eyes riveted to Sam, imploring her to give them a second chance.

“You say you love me, but do you?” Sam stared right at Brooke. “Do you really?” Before Brooke could answer, the younger woman added, “Maybe you should give yourself some time to think about that.”

They stood there for only a moment before Brooke tried to reassure Sam. “I’ve had plenty of time to think about it. And yes,” Brooke studied the blonde’s face for any change of heart. “I love you.”

Confused by all the emotions that she was feeling, Sam started to turn away from Brooke when her arm was caught and held. Casting her eyes down to the large hand on her elbow, Sam pinned a gaze back at Brooke, then down to her point of captivity again and sighed, closing her eyes.

“I would rather have you smack me across the face than for you to turn away from me again.” Brooke released her grip on Sam’s arm and waited to see what would happen.

Green eyes churned at the challenge. Without warning, Sam turned abruptly and, with an open right hand, slapped Brooke across her cheek, causing the dark-haired woman’s head to turn. With the sound of the slap reverberating in her head, Brooke held her ground, not saying a word, her blue eyes slowly coming back to look at Sam.

“There,” she said, shocked at her own actions. Sam stood like a doe struck by headlights, watching as Brooke raised her own right hand to touch the hand-imprinted cheek. “That’s for…” her eyes began to tear up and she could feel her lower lip start to tremble. “That’s for…” Sam started to say again but couldn’t finish. Instead, she turned and ran from the room sobbing, leaving Brooke with her own thoughts.

Turning from the sink with a tall glass of water in her hand, C.C. started for the kitchen table when Sam came running through the room, almost colliding with her.

“Hey,” C.C. reached out to slow the woman down. “You alright?”

Sam slowed down, and then looked at C.C., wiping her tear-stained cheeks as she said, “Alright? I’ll never be alright.”

“Whoa. What happened?” The brunette put her glass down on the table and grabbed onto Sam’s shoulders and searched her face for some clue. “I thought you were going to apologize.”

The blonde’s brow furrowed with pain and Sam closed her eyes. “She… We…” Small fists tightened in frustration then she voiced it in an anguished outcry, “Aauuuurgh!” Then, her simple reply was, “Ask her.”

“Hey, I’m asking you.” C.C. shook the blonde till she opened her eyes, and then locked on to them with her own.

Determined not to let it get to her any worse, Sam said what was on her mind. “C.C., I know you thought that this idea of Brooke and me was a good one, but I’m not so sure anymore.”

“Why?” C.C. paused, then loaded her double barreled mouth and let go with both sides. “You mean it was safer for you to lust after a photograph than to love someone who can love you back? Life isn’t easy, Sam. But you want to run off at the first sign of a little misunderstanding…”

“I need to know I can trust the people I love. I don’t want to have to wonder what I’ll find out next about them.”

C.C.’s usually soft brown eyes turned hard and cold as she countered, “That’s pretty, fuckin’ pathetic, Sam.” The brunette held on tighter as Sam tried to shake her off. “Did she or did she not tell you that there were things you didn’t know, that she would tell you?” Sam nodded her head. “And didn’t she say that before the two of you were an item?

“Well…” Sam thought, letting her eyes dart around the room as she went from scenario to scenario in her head. “I guess she did.” The blonde looked a little unfocused as she mumbled, “We all don’t know each other immediately on the first date.”

“Do you have any idea, of the numerous people that tried to seduce her so they could get to James or Peter?” C.C. put both hands on her hips as the defense mode for her older sister kicked into gear.

“But why would they…” Sam brought her focus back to her roommate.

“You want to know why Loran had such a bad rep?” C.C. watched as Sam nodded, then continued, “Every woman that ended up in the media had tried to fuck her to get to one of those two assholes. When she figured it out and wouldn’t continue with the relationship, that’s what happened.” Brown eyes leveled in on Sam, “And every time, they told her they cared about her… that they loved her.”

Sam ran over what C.C. had just said in her head. Then, out of the blue, something caught her attention. The numerous people that tried to seduce her…had tried to fuck her…A bitter taste came to the blonde’s mouth as the inkling of doubt entered in. “But you said that she was a virgin. She even told me…” Sam’s eyes grew bigger remembering the events of Saturday morning. Unsure of what to believe, the young woman cast a cautious glare in the brunette’s direction. “Or is that a lie too?

“Damn it, Sam. Nobody has fucking lied to you! You might not have been told everything, but you were never lied to. She is still a virgin,” C.C. pleaded in her sister’s behalf. “She never slept with any of them. But it doesn’t mean they didn’t try. Every time, they ran off to the media talking about what a dog she was. That’s when the record company decided to go ahead and elaborate on the whole situation, give it some twists and turns.”

“So that’s when the bad girl rep came in for Loran…” Sam mumbled under her breath. “I didn’t realize… I just…” A mixture of fire and hurt came to Sam’s eyes. “So am I supposed to feel sorry for her?” Sam sighed, shaking her head from side to side. “C.C., she didn’t even value me enough to say who she was… who she used to be.”

“Why should she have to?” C.C. stepped closer to Sam, getting up in her face with each new sentence. “Why does it make a difference? Who would you rather have say that they love you; Brooke or Loran? And you told her that you loved her… no matter what.”

“Who do I love? Why Brooke, of course,” green eyes pinned C.C. and held there for a moment. “But I…”

“No one has ever wanted to be with Brooke for Brooke. They always wanted Loran. Now tell me…”C.C. paused for effect. “Would you have told someone who you really were with that kind of record? Especially someone you knew for a fact was the largest fan of your own alternate identity?” C.C. leaned in and whispered, “I don’t think so.” The brunette straightened up, folding her arms over her chest. “I know damn well that I wouldn’t.”

It certainly gave Sam something to think about. The young woman’s mind had just been made privy to so many aspects of the phenomenon known as Loran that she didn’t know what to think. “C.C., I think I have to sort this out in my head. I… I have to reconsider this whole deal…”

“Sure. Whatever… what do I know, right? I’m just the ditzy ass younger sister who loves her more than anyone.” The woman glared at Sam, almost challenging her to say something different. Seeing that her roommate was at a loss for words, C.C. turned and walked out of the kitchen, leaving Sam standing by herself.

Numbed by the encounter, Sam could feel her shoulders slumping and let her head hang down as she closed her eyes, “So much to think about.” Mrs. Gordon, I sure hope you were right about the fresh air helping to clear heads, because I sure need it now. Gathering all her strength, Sam pushed off the counter she found herself leaning against and headed for the deck.

It wasn’t long before C.C. found her sister sitting in the moody lighting of the desolate studio. The war-torn shambles of the hallway now ventured inside the soundproof area with the bits and pieces of wood and steel that had earlier today been a guitar. C.C. looked at the rubble and knew the pain that Brooke was feeling. With every step she took, she felt the musician’s heart shatter like the glass she was walking on.

Coming to a stop outside of the doorway to the room, the brunette stood there, watching the back of her sister as she’d throw her head back and drained the last out of a bottle of beer that she held to her mouth. C.C.’s eyes followed the imaginary course of the beer as it entered Brooke’s system, her eyes slowly settling on the floor around her sister with its scattered bottles and smashed glass.

Feeling the need to watch over her sister, C.C. made her presence known. “Hey, Sis. Mind if I join you?” The younger woman rolled off the doorway and entered the room.

“I don’t care,” the monotone voice answered her. “There’s beer in the fridge,” Brooke motioned with her head, never turning around to face her sister.

“Yeah, I know.” C.C. went to the small appliance in the corner of the room and took one out. Turning back, she watched her sister finish her beer and without a second thought, throw the bottle against the wall past C.C., smashing it into little pieces. Damn, it’s worse than I thought. C.C.’s gaze went back to her sister who sat there reaching for another bottle from the line up that was on the table next to her and opened it.

The young woman walked over and took a seat on the stool next to her sister. “So… you want some help cleaning up… ah… from the party?” C.C. didn’t really want to drink the bottle of beer and therefore chose to just hold on to it.

“No, I can do it,” came the reply as Brooke brought the bottle to her lips.

C.C. surveyed the area from this angle, “I see you can do a lot of…” the brunette raised an eyebrow, “things.”

Brooke let out a half laugh then became very quite. “You could do me a favor though.”

“Yeah? What’s that?” She rolled the bottle between her hands, nervously anticipating what it could be.

“Get the keys to the jeep and take Mario over to Terri’s.” She took a deep breath in and shook her head, “He doesn’t need to be here with me in a shitty mood.” Brooke reached out, gathering up the pile of darts that lay on the table next to the line of beer bottles.

“But, you know Terri’s working and so is Rick.” C.C. tried to reason with her sister. “Wouldn’t it be better to have Mario here? I mean… to help you get out of that shitty mood?”

“No.” Brooke took a long draw from the bottle in her hand, and then set it down.

“Brooke?” C.C. waited until she knew she had her sister’s attention. “Why are you doing this? Why are you throwing those walls up again?”

“Because I was safer with them there. It didn’t hurt then,” her voice was cold and hard.

“Sis, that hurt is called love.” C.C. softened her voice and hoped she wouldn’t be thrown out for what she was going to ask. “Be honest with me. You love Sam, don’t you?”

“It doesn’t matter. Obviously, I’m destined to be alone or else that fucking bitch wouldn’t continue to come back and bite me in the ass.” Brooke sat up, and wielded a dart at the last hanging picture of Loran, hitting it in the heart.

“Bitch? What bitch?” C.C. mumbled then looked at Brooke’s head seeing it turned slightly toward her revealing one raised eyebrow. “Oh, you mean…love.”

“No, Loran. Every time I let those walls down, I get burned. Sometimes I just wish she were never born… that I was never born.”

“You can’t mean that, Brooke.” C.C. laughed, trying to lighten the mood, “Who would have knocked all that sense into me?”

Brooke turned to her right, showing three-quarters of her face, and stared out of the corner of her eyes at C.C. She didn’t say anything. It was the kind of stare that could bring a roomful of people to silence.

“And you still do.” The young woman gulped feeling the fear that was being instilled by her menacing looking sister. “Just not in the same way.”

Turning her head away from C.C., Brooke’s gaze fell back on the bottle next to her. Without warning, she picked it up and launched it across the room, hitting it off the wall, shattering into a million pieces on the floor.

“Maybe you should be mad at me, instead of yourself. I mean… if I didn’t move out this year, you would have never met…”

Just then Brooke turned around toward C.C. and reached for another bottle. The dim lighting cast shadows across her features until she was directly under the small ceiling spotlight.

Seeing the faint imprint of a small hand on Brooke’s cheek, C.C. gasped, “God, Brooke…is that…I…ah…knew Sam was upset but…”

Brooke turned away from C.C., “Go away. Please.”

The younger woman’s temper now sprang into view. “And do what? Watch the two of you wallow in self pity?” C.C. got up from the stool and took the step or two toward her sister, placing a tentative hand on her shoulder.

“Please, C.C. Take Sam with you. She doesn’t want to be here. Don’t forget to take Mario for the ride, he’ll love it.”

“You know Sis, you once told me to fight for what I believe in.”

“I don’t believe in anything anymore,” Brooke whispered as she shook her head.

C.C. poked her sister, “Why are you giving up, running and hiding again?”

“Because I can,” Brooke lashed out. “Because I can’t make her stay and I can’t make her love me. I can’t make her forgive me,” the woman’s voice faltered.

“I think it’s because you’re afraid.” C.C. challenged her sister, “Yeah, you heard me. You’re afraid of letting someone love you. You taste it and run for fear that you’ll really see what it’s all about.”

“I’m not running. I’m still here,” the angry voice grew louder, then just as quickly softened, confiding, “It’s Sam, she doesn’t want to be here.”

C.C. couldn’t believe all the misunderstanding that was going on. “I think you both need to forgive yourselves first, then maybe you can think about forgiving the other.” The young woman started for the door, disgusted in her own sister’s bullheadedness.

“Chase, the keys are by the front door.”

The brunette turned around disgustedly, “If you two could only see what a great couple you make. Damn, I wish I could find someone that I could build a life around. Sure it’s not easy. Hell, you’ve never been easy. But that’s you Brooke… and for some god awful reason Sam loves you.”

“Not anymore she doesn’t.” Brooke let out a breath, allowing her shoulders to slump forward even more.

“You want to bet?” C.C. crossed the room until she was face to face with Brooke. “She’s crying her eyes out right now out on the deck. You don’t cry because you think you lost something that you hated. No, you do it because you love it so much that it hurts.”

“She already told me she didn’t know if it was possible to fix us,” Brooke protested.

“You know, people say and do a lot of funny things when they’re hurt. That just might have been one of them. Like you… with the beer and the destruction.” C.C. watched Brooke’s expression change at the mention of her own self-indulgence. “What’s the matter Brooke, am I hitting too close to home?”

Blue eyes showed the torment that Brooke was in. “Chase, I love her. I love Sam. You know, she didn’t believe me when I told her?”

“So what are you going to do about it? Let her walk off the face of the earth, or try to start again? Only this time for real, not hiding anything or letting the other one have any misunderstanding.”

There was dead silence in the room as Brooke mulled over what C.C. had said. For once, maybe she’s got a good point there. Brooke closed her eyes and tried to calm her nerves. “Take the dog for a ride, C.C.” Brooke opened her eyes, looking into her sister’s and confided, “I wanna talk to Sam and I want you to take Mario for a drive. That way I’ll… we’ll have no interruptions.”

“You care more about that dog than you do yourself, you know that? Maybe you should put a little more time and thought on you and what makes you happy.”

Brooke put the bottle in her hand down. “Yeah, yeah…come on.” The musician headed for the door and stumbled down the shambles of a hallway heading for the stairs.

C.C. watched her sister climb the stairs, hanging on to the railing. “Okay, but I’m not staying out all God damn day,” she yelled at her sister.

Sam stood out on the deck, soaking in the quiet of the world around her. The wind blowing through the trees and shrubbery felt like it might be able to take her away from the troubles that surrounded her and she prayed that it would. I never wanted to feel like this. She raised her eyes to the heavens and prayed that her life would settle back down to how it was before… to how she and Brooke… her thoughts were disturbed by the sound of someone stumbling down below her in the driveway.

“What the…” Sam watched as Brooke made a rather not so straight line for the Jeep, with Mario following right behind her.

“Come on boy, get in.” Brooke held the door open for the animal, then closed it and started for the driver’s side, letting her hand rest on the vehicle from time to time as she made her way around it. She stopped at the driver’s door and opened it.

Pangs of terror went surging through Sam’s body. She drew her hand up to her mouth and called out trying to stop the woman, “Brooke!”

Brooke tossed the keys up in the air and caught them, then leaned into the seat of the Jeep for her cell phone. “Here,” she tossed the keys again but this time to C.C. who had emerged from the shadows behind her. “Take my cell with you.” The older woman looked around trying to see who was calling her name, “What?”

“I… ah… I was hoping that you weren’t going to drive… ah… I mean… go somewhere,” Sam didn’t try to hide her concern as she called down from the deck.

“No,” Brooke shielded her eyes as she looked up into the sun, facing the deck. “I’m not going to risk killing my dog just because I’m an idiot.”

“I didn’t say you were an idiot.”

“Bullshit!” Brooke strode back toward the house, stopping at the door, then turned and glared at C.C. “You going or are you staying for the show?”

C.C. climbed into the jeep and settled herself in the seat, reaching over to pet the dog. “Come on, Mario.” Cranking the ignition, she slipped it into reverse and slowly backed out, then took off down the driveway.

Sam watched the jeep as it maneuvered off down the driveway, then finally lost it behind the shrubbery. The blonde’s attention was now focused on Brooke as she disappeared into the house. The young woman’s brow furrowed for a moment or two as she considered what Brooke could be doing. She finally gave up guessing. Sam turned to the door, surprised to see Brooke standing there watching her.

“What?” Blue eyes pierced the sunlight making Sam look away.

“I didn’t think… I mean…”

“I may be a lot of things, Sam, but a drunk driver is not one of them,” Brooke opened the door and walked on to the deck.

The blonde took a defensive stance, placing her hands on her hips. “Let’s cut the crap, Brooke. I’m not playing anymore games.”

“Me, neither. I’m too old for that shit. Sam…” Brooke took a few steps closer and looked the woman right in the eye, “I love you. I want to be with you, and if that’s too much, I’m sorry. I don’t know what else I can say or do to change what you’re thinking or feeling and it’s not my place to do that. You’re free to make up your own mind. I just wanted you to know what was in my heart before you decide what you have to do.” The dark-haired woman took in a breath then let it out saying with all sincerity, “I love you.”

“Too much?” Sam felt guilty now, “How could that be too much?”

“I dunno…” Brooke watched as Sam gave a weak smile. “You seemed like your mind was pretty well made up in the studio earlier.”

Sam looked down to the ground. “My mind was pretty well made up at that movie. I was clueless before I met you.” The blonde squinted, looking up to the taller woman as she walked closer. “Now… I can see that there’s meaning to life,” she smiled. “A… meaning to love.”

There was a moment of quiet that neither woman knew how to fill. Each one waiting for the other to start as both of them felt for the pain of the other.

Brooke shook her head to try and clear the alcohol induced fog. “Maybe it’s the beer but you have me so confused right now. I know what I want but maybe I’m too drunk to figure out what you want.”

Finally, Sam found her voice and started. “I’m not going to say that you didn’t hurt me.” Sam looked at the faint line of her own hand on Brooke’s cheek, “I can see that I hurt you and I’m sorry for that.” Sam wanted to reach out and take the pain away but thought better of touching Brooke right now. Instead, she laid her cards on the table. “But God, Brooke, can’t you see that we’re in need of each other? That we love each other, otherwise, it wouldn’t have hurt so much.”

Painful blue eyes searched Sam’s face. “I do love you.” There was the start of a slow nod to Brooke’s head as she added, “And I need you more than anything in my life.”

“Could you open up your heart to someone that didn’t even recognize their own idol?” Sam’s brow furrowed, ashamed the she hadn’t known the drummer. “Someone who sees the woman and not the celebrity?”

Brooke smiled, realizing that it was what she wanted the whole time. “I wouldn’t want it any other way.”

“I felt the love Brooke, and only wanted more.”

“More?” Brooke questioned with an arched eyebrow.

Sam smiled wrinkling her nose and squinting up at the taller woman. “Yeah, more. I want to spend time with you, Brooke. I want to memorize you in your everyday life, not the videos on MTV or VH1′s Where Are They Now.”

Brooke moved closer to Sam and wrapped her arms around the smaller woman’s waist. “What do you mean by everyday?”

“Don’t you see,” Sam allowed herself to lean into Brooke. “Loran will always be a part of my life.” She leaned back and looked at Brooke, then reiterated, “My past life. But you, Ms. Gordon…” the blonde smiled coyly, “I could take you everyday being in my life, for the rest of it.”

The taller woman smiled. “You can have Loran. I don’t want her.” She squeezed the woman in her arms. “All I want is you.”

Sam looked up directly into Brooke’s eyes and grinned. “Loran? Loran who?”

The distance closed between the pair and they kissed, first softly then more arduous until they were locked into a lover’s embrace. The renewed feelings were proof enough that they were where they should be, together. When their need for a breath was more overpowering than their emotions, they finally let their lips part from one another.

“I love you, Sam,” Brooke spoke out as they separated.

Chills ran up Sam’s spine as she heard the words and wrapped her arms around Brooke, squeezing her tightly. “God, I love you.” She buried her head in Brooke’s shoulder, “Let’s never do this again…” Sam saw the leery look in Brooke’s eye and the beginning of a raised eyebrow. “Fight, I mean.”

“Yeah,” Brooke agreed, pulling her in, then kissed the top of the blonde’s head.

“Hey, I liked that song you were singing earlier. Is that something that I should recognize?”

“No, I wrote it for you after you left.”

Sam leaned back and looked up at the taller woman, then nestled back into her place on Brooke’s shoulder. “I know now, that you are Brooke Loran without any doubt in my mind.”

“Why now?”

“Brooke,” green eyes pleaded her case. “There’s no denying that voice, not when you sing.” Sam tried to hold back a smile. “Besides, your sister is quite the Brooke Loran Gordon protector.”

“Huh?” A single dark eyebrow raised high on her forehead.

“C.C. read me the riot act.” The small woman stole a glance in Brooke’s direction. “She really got me thinking on that drive back to the campus.”

The older woman smiled, knowing her sister like a book. “Well, if there’s one thing that she’s good at, it’s talking.”

“You know, I think she cares more about you than anyone else in the world.” Sam sighed, “If you could only see yourself through her eyes.”

“God only knows why. I used to torment the hell out of her.” Brooke smiled shyly from ear to ear. “I still torment the hell out of her.” The woman looked around the deck and wondered how it was that she deserved such a devoted sister.

“You know that old saying, don’t you?” Sam waited for a moment then continued, “You only hurt the one that you love…” the blonde stopped short, realizing that was exactly what she had done. “Gosh, Brooke, I’m sorry that I hurt you.”

The older woman tossed her head to one side and smirked, “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before now.” Brooke shrugged her shoulders and resigned herself to the truth of the matter. “I was just too scared to lose you.”

Sam closed her eyes, hearing the revealed truth, and decided to let all the truths come to the light of day. “I… I don’t know if this is the right time or not, but I’m going to say it any way.” The woman swallowed and took in a deep breath before looking up at the musician. “I love you.”

Brooke answered her back speaking nothing but the truth that dwelled deep within her heart, “I love you, too, Sam.”

A hint of a smile broke across Sam’s lips as she struggled to keep from crying. Her quick hand motions wiped away the tears that rolled down her cheeks uncontrollably. “I was hoping that you still could find it in your heart.”

“What’s that?” Blue eyes watched the young woman fight to regain her composure.

“I guess I’m asking if we can start over again.” Sam loosened her grip on Brooke and backed away, “only right this time.”

“Right?” Brooke questioned.

“Yeah, right.” Sam straightened herself up and extended her hand in friendship. “Hi, I’m Sam Adams Moleson and I’d like to get to know you.”

Brooke slowly stretched her body to its full height and stood looking at the blonde’s face. She let her eyes drift to the hand offered to her. The large hand of Brooke’s reached out and pushed Sam’s hand away. The look on the younger woman’s face was one of puzzlement at the action. Before she knew it, Brooke took a step closer to the woman, letting her hands come to rest on the small waist. “Hi, Sam. I’m Brooke Loran Gordon. I used to be the drummer for this band called Anti-Zero.” Blue eyes looked directly into green as the words came tripping out of her mouth. “I love you and want to spend the next ten thousand years with you.” The dark-haired woman fought back a smile, “Or the rest of my life, whichever comes first.”

The blonde shook her head then giggled, her reaction pleasing the other woman. “Let’s hope that it’s neither. I’d rather have you around for the rest of my life.” Sam stood up on her tiptoes and kissed Brooke’s lips ever so gently.

Picking up Sam so that they were the same height, Brooke locked gazes with the blonde as they drew closer in an embrace. Minutes seemed like seconds when they had finally released the hold that neither one of them wanted to let go of. The taller woman set Sam down, then asked in a meek voice, “So, I guess we’re actually a couple now, huh?”

“Hmm…” the blonde tilted her head as if she was considering the question. “A couple of what… star-crossed lovers who just had their first fight?”

“Well,” Brooke cleared her throat, “You know what they say…” She paused for a moment, and then continued, “You’re not really a couple until you’ve had your first fight.”

Sam pondered the thought, then asked, “So, is this where we get to do the making up part or what?” A smile tugged at her lips.

“I’m all about making up. I love you, Sam,” Brooke said as their lips found one another.

Two entwined humans lounged gracefully on the couch, basking in the rightness of the world as it spun now in their lives. The growing shadows announced the setting of the day’s sun when the scurry of a four-legged friend was heard scampering through the house in search of its mistress. The pawing and cold nose of Mario put a hasty end to the lip-lock that Sam and Brooke were in.

“Hey, Mario…where’d you come from?” Brooke reached out and petted the dog, “Down, Boy.”

Sam smiled and shook her head, not believing the perfect set-up that Brooke had just opened herself up to. Fighting back the laughter that was about to erupt, Sam got out, “From his mom and dad.”

“Ah…” Brooke smiled, happy to hear laughter coming from the woman in her arms. “I deserved that, didn’t I?”

“Uh-huh…” Sam nodded, knowing that it meant that C.C. was back. “Brooke, honey…” the blonde doodled with her finger on Brooke’s shirt. “You aren’t going to be too mad at your sister are you? I mean she did have our best interest at heart when she did her meddling.”

Sighing, Brooke had to agree, nodding her head. “That she did. I can’t be mad at her for that.” The older woman kissed the top of Sam’s head. “But I think you’ll agree with me when I say that she has to learn…”

“Not to meddle in our relationship?” Sam finished her sentence. “Hmm…That just might be a bit hard for her where you’re concerned.”

“Yeah, she needs to not meddle where you’re concerned.”

“Brooke, just don’t be too hard on her. Okay?” Sam looked up into blue eyes, “She did help us make it right.”

Brooke got her hardest, most menacing face on, then just as quickly let it soften to a smile. “Okay, I won’t.” Then she kissed Sam’s sweet lips lightly, “But I’m gonna make her sweat.”

Just then, the front door opened and C.C. entered the foyer, catching a view of the two lovebirds on the couch. “Hey.” She closed the door and turned back to the living room. “Ah… I take it everything is back to normal now?”

Sam could hear the rumblings of the words as they were formed deep in Brooke’s chest and closed her eyes waiting for the vocal storm to fill the room.

“Ms. Cjersti Chase Gordon,” the contralto voice came out loud and clear, pronouncing the name just like her mother had done on numerous occasions.

Suddenly C.C.’s brown eyes opened wider. She knew what that particular calling of her name meant. She was in big trouble. The brunette pinched herself, hoping it had all been just a dream induced by her hangover. The sharp pain that the pinch created told her that it wasn’t a dream. “OH SHIT!”