Unbroken Season 1

Chapter 9 The Love Of A Good Fight Part 1

“…If I was only foolin’, would you still Believe in me? If I was only dreamin’, would you still Believe in me? If I was only trippin’, would you still Believe in me? And if I said I’m slippin, would you still Believe…”

The tall brunette slowly sat herself up in the bed, stopping only momentarily to sit on the edge of the bed to get her bearings. The young woman looked around the dimly lit room with half-opened eyes when suddenly it all started coming back to her. The party last night, the drinking, the toast, and more drinking, it all seemed to be the emphasis of the occasion rather than the presents she’d received from her family and friends.

Damn, I’m at Brooke’s. One hand pushed back the cascading hair as she shook her head in disbelief. The digital readout of the clock told her that it was nearly sunrise, a time of the morning that she tried hard not to bear witness to.

C.C. started to get up from the bed that she was sitting on. Without warning, the young woman felt the room begin to sway, causing her to grab her head, trying to keep it still. Sure enough, the effects of her celebration of twenty-one years on earth were making themselves well known. Battling back the slight bit of nausea, she got to her feet and slowly made her way out into the hall. She stopped and listened for a few moments before continuing into the bathroom.

“I must be the only one here,” she mumbled closing the door to the bathroom and taking a seat on the side of the tub. Her still foggy mind slowly pieced together the events of the previous evening as she tried to decide which of her bodily functions it was that needed the most attention. The fullness of her bladder seemed to be the one screaming for aid and she quickly found herself addressing its need.

I got to remember to thank Randi for the long nightshirt. C.C.’s mind wondered how her oldest sister had come to the conclusion that a long loose fitting garment was the best for keeping warm at the alter of the porcelain goddess while providing easy access when the call of nature screamed your name. Yeah, being the youngest sure has its advantages. The sobering woman counted her blessings of being the last born as she ran each sister and her thoughtful gift through her mind.

The brunette stood now staring into the mirror, marveling that her appearance wasn’t half as bad as she anticipated it being. She shook her head and smiled, turning on the water to wash her hands as her thoughts soon drifted to another one of her sisters.

Now, Terri, I bet you had many hangovers before you came up with that preventative cure. The smile that crossed her lips grew bigger as she thought of the huge bottle of aspirin with the familiar cursive script of her sister’s on it, reading: Take two with your first drink, follow with food every hour and don’t call me in the morning. Now, that was a gift straight from Terri’s own heart. C.C. remembered vaguely her older sister’s bouts with headaches and the toll that they would take on her. Hmm…I think I should call her and wake her up… just for fun. The brown eyes twinkled at the thought, but quickly dismissed it. She’s probably up and making rounds already.

The woman turned to grab the towel on the rack to dry her hands when she caught sight of the monogram with the letters BLG on it. That was when her thoughts turned to her last, but most favored sister, Brooke. God, I’ve got a lot to learn from you, Sis. C.C. pondered the course of Brooke’s life, realizing that it had not been an easy one for the talented musician. I know that you gave me the best present of all, Brooke.

The party hosted at her sister’s house was not what the brunette had been thinking about, but rather the ability to go off drinking with no worries as to who would be there to watch over her this night. That no matter what happened, C.C. was safe and loved. There would be no surprises or life changing encounters to haunt her, just the same, everyday life that she was used to leading for the last twenty-one years.

With a smile plastered across her face, C.C. decided that Brooke indeed needed to be thanked. She opened the door, stepped into the hall and went in search of her sister. The still opened doors for the bedrooms that C.C. passed in the hall brought some concern to her as she headed for the stairs. After making the first rotation of the circular stairway, it soon became evident why none of the bedrooms were in use. There, on the couch in the living room, sat Brooke with her arm draped around the slumbering form of a small blonde.

The brunette stood silently next to the entwined figures on the couch. She nodded her approval. Damn, they make a nice pair. I wonder why they just didn’t go up to bed? Slightly proud of her own matchmaking abilities, C.C. nudged her sister and waited for some sign of life before speaking.

“Hey, you going to sleep here all night or let her go to bed proper like?” C.C. asked as she watched the blue of her sister’s eyes slowly come to life.

Brooke swallowed first, then whispered sleepily, “Hey, you ok? Didn’t get sick, did you?”

“Me?” C.C. pointed to her own chest, “Hell no, I can hold my liquor.” The young woman tried to keep her mouth closed tight, but her body betrayed her. “Hic…” the sound escaped her lips as she covered her mouth with her hand.

“You sure?”

“Excuse me.”

“Okay, C.C. if you say so.”

“Besides, I threw up before I went to bed.” C.C. shrugged her shoulders.

“Thanks for that news bulletin, Sis.” Brooke felt Sam begin to stir in her arms. She looked down at the blonde as a smile came to her face. “I tried to talk her into going upstairs earlier…she said she was too comfortable here.”

“Comfortable huh?” The brunette winked at her sister, then quickly clamped her hand over her mouth as another hiccup came to the surface.

Shaking her head slightly at the antics of her youngest sister, Brooke tried hard not to laugh. “You should drink some water. And yes, I’m very comfortable,” the older woman nestled back into the blonde head with her cheek.

“Brooke…aren’t you scared?”

“Scared?” Worried blue eyes searched C.C.’s face. “What do you mean, scared? What would I be scared of?”

“Scared of falling in love with her.” The brunette reached out to touch her sister’s shoulder in a comforting manner, “What is she going to think when she knows who you are?” C.C. paused then continued, “Or does she know already?”

Brooke took in a deep breath and then let it out slowly as she pondered the questions. “Come on, let’s talk in the kitchen.” She carefully extracted herself from around Sam, making sure not to wake her.

“Kitchen, living room, makes no difference to me,” C.C. mumbled as she headed toward the hall.

Finally out from under Sam, Brooke kissed her on the forehead, then whispered in her ear as she slowly drew away, “Love you.”

The blonde head shifted slightly and the nearly inaudible mumble of “Love you” was reflexively answered back.

Brooke remained standing there for a moment, then smiled and walked out of the room. Entering the kitchen, she dimmed the harsh lights and pulled out two chairs from under the table for both herself and her sister. “Have a seat, C.C.”

Taking a drink from the glass of water that she held in her hand, the brunette turned off the faucet and moved in the direction of the offered chair, bringing the glass with her. “Does she know?”

“About me? Who I am?”

“Yeah, that and how much you love her.” C.C.’s eyes pinned her sister’s, allowing her no room to run.

Brooke closed her eyes, shaking her head. “No, not who I am.” She bit at her lip, “I hope she knows how much I love her.” The dark-haired woman smirked, “I find myself telling her every chance I get.” The woman laughed out loud, “I e-mail her and tell her. I call her on her cell phone just to tell her.”

“You’re really in love…” C.C. looked directly at her sister, “Aren’t you, Sis?”

The older woman let her eyes drift. “I can’t imagine life without her.”

The younger brunette started to jump up from the chair but was stopped when her head started spinning. She placed a hand against her forehead and moved to grab the pad and pencil next to the phone on the kitchen wall.

“C.C. what are you doing?” Brooke watched her sister, totally amazed by her actions.

“I got to remember to write this day down on the calendar,” the young woman exaggerated her actions as she grabbed the small calendar from the wall and pretended to write on it. “Brooke Loran gives her heart away.”

“Funny, C.C.,” the older woman stuck her tongue out at her sister. “James said something similar to that last week.”

“James?” A shocked look came to C.C.’s face. “You’re talking to James after all these years?”

The dark-haired woman shrugged her shoulders, “Uh…” then looked away, “Yeah…I’m going to help him and Peter out.” She cleared her throat, “Produce their new shit.”

“Produce…is that all?” C.C. studied her sister intently.

“That’s all.” Brooke nodded, more to reassure herself than her sister. “I don’t think I can get all wrapped up in that again.”

“I thought you didn’t want to work with them again,” C.C. took a drink from her glass. “James, especially.”

“Well, it’s costing him,” Brooke grinned at her sister. “And no, I sure didn’t want to work with him.” The dark-haired woman crossed her arms in front of her chest, “Besides, Peter’s not so bad when he’s not being influenced by James.”

“So, what made the difference? Why are you doing it?” C.C. studied her sister as the older woman first looked out the kitchen window, then in the direction of the living room. “Don’t tell me that Sam has something to do with it?”

“Well…” the blush slowly crept up Brooke’s neck and the older woman squeaked out a rather weak reply, “…kind of.” There was silence for a moment until Brooke chose to speak once again. “You know that her birthday is in a couple of weeks, right?”

C.C. nodded her head. “So, what’s that have to do with it?

The older woman sighed. “I asked her if she could have anything in the world, what would she like for her birthday.”

Brown eyes stared at the older woman, stunned by the admission. “God, Brooke, you really have fallen off that deep end.”

Brooke now looked directly at her sister. “She said that she wanted to see Anti-Zero and Brooke Loran in concert.”

“Well, that’s obvious.” C.C. pushed her chair back and stood up, walking toward the sink for more water, “She’s had a crush on them for as long as she can remember.”

“Sooo…” she drew the word out before continuing. “James agreed. One night with all the songs, even the stuff we never released.”

Turning around from the sink, C.C. shook her head. “And how are you going to pull that one off?” She asked her sister, then added, “Loran hasn’t made an appearance in years.”

“I know,” Brooke ran her sinewy fingers through her long, dark locks, “Well, I’m not cutting my hair again, that’s for sure.” She thought for a moment, then added more determined than ever. “I’ll pull it off. I have to. That’s what she wants.”

The brunette walked over to her sister and put herself in the older woman’s place. “I can see it now…” she tapped Brooke on the shoulder. “Happy Birthday, Sam. Oh, did I forget to tell you? I’m Brooke Loran.” The woman imitated her sister with a cock to her head and a raised eyebrow.

There was silence for a moment as both women replayed the scenario in their heads, each one ending with a different outcome.

“I just hope that she’ll want me when it’s over.” The words were spoken slightly louder than a whisper as Brooke got up from the table and walked over to look out the kitchen window.

“Want you?” C.C. couldn’t believe her sister’s insecurity. “Hell, Brooke, she probably masturbated for the first time with Loran’s picture in full view, thinking it was the drummer touching her, driving her into a heated frenzy.”

Brooke couldn’t think of a thing to say as the blush began to creep onto her face at the mere thought of Sam doing that exact thing. Lost in a dream, she continued to stare out the window. “I love her, C.C.,” she closed her eyes and lowered her head. “And I’m scared to death that I’ll lose her.” Blue eyes now stared back out the window. “I want her to love me for me…not Loran.”

Feeling her sister’s pain, C.C. turned away, leaning on the sink with her backside. “So, how are you going to know which one she really loves?”

“I don’t know,” Brooke wiped a few stray tears from her cheeks, happy that C.C. couldn’t see them. “I don’t know what to do, Chase.”

“Well, you’d better think of something ’cause that birthday is a little over a month away.” C.C. rolled her eyes. “Talk about surprises.”

“I never thought the day would come when I’d be asking you what to do,” the older woman smirked.

“Face it, Sis,” C.C. grinned at being able to help her older sister. “You’re not too experienced here in matters of the heart.”

Brooke shook her head and sighed, “No, I’m not.” There was a long pause before she finally confided in her sister. “Hell, C.C., I love Randi and Terri but I’m closer to you than anyone. And I can tell you that every time I try to think of life without her…I…I can’t even breathe.”

With a wink and a nod, C.C. reached over and patted Brooke’s shoulder. “Just let ol’ C.C. figure something out. Hell, I got the two of you together, didn’t I?

“Yeah, but can you keep us together?” Blue eyes drove home their point. “I can’t lose her. I’m terrified that if I do, it’ll be because of me. Well…” she paused for a brief second, “because of Loran.”

“Brooke, let’s be serious here. What would it take for you to know?”

“Honestly, Chase,” she stared out the window in a daze, “I don’t know.”

“Come on, Brooke. What would it take for you to really know that she loves you? A word…a phrase…a pledge…an act…what?”

The taller woman turned around and for the first time, C.C. noticed the tear-stained cheeks of her older sister. “God, you’re not kidding here, are you?”

“No, I’m not,” Brooke hung her head. “Part of me doesn’t want to tell her at all, but I know I can’t do that. It’s like I’d be lying.”

Compelled to do something, C.C. closed the distance between them, enveloping her sister in a hug. “Hey, I’m a pest at times, but when my big sister needs me…”

“She holds you upside down and drops you on your head.” The two sisters shared a weak laugh at Brooke’s comment.

“But then I’d have to worry about if she really wanted me or was dreaming about Loran,” the older woman broke down, holding onto C.C. for all that she was worth.

After a few minutes, C.C. finally voiced an opinion. “Maybe you should have killed Loran long ago.”

“I wish I had,” Brooke sighed, then pushed herself away from her sister. “I can’t deny her that one night. It’s what she wants and I’ll do anything, even risk losing her, just to see her happy.”

“Well, Sis,” the brunette shrugged her shoulders in indifference, “give it to her and see what happens. From what I see of Sam and you together, I don’t think that it will make any difference to her. She loves you, Brooke.” C.C. turned to the sink and filled her glass with more water. “Look, I’m her roommate. I hear her mumbling your name at night,” she brought the glass to her lips and drank.

“Mine or Loran’s?” Brooke raised an eyebrow in challenge. “You can’t be sure.”

“You had to use your first name, didn’t you?” C.C. shook her head.

“Yeah, like a dumb ass,” Brooke nodded in agreement.

“Then follow your heart and hopefully she will do the same,” the brunette challenged her sister. “You’d be surprised where your hearts might lead you.”

Brooke thought for a moment, then began to speak, “You know, when she came over here last weekend, I showed her the studio…” she shrugged her shoulders. “Don’t ask me why.” The older woman smiled remembering the evening. “You should’ve seen the look on her face as she traced all the photos of Loran, mesmerized as she ran her finger over them.”

“Come on, say it…I’m a genius.” C.C. smiled as she encouraged her sister to admit that for one time, the baby of the family had a great idea in trying to get these two together. “Maybe you did knock some sense into me,” she teased her sibling. “She didn’t recognize you, did she?”

“No,” Brooke laughed. “Hell, I even got behind the kit with her…” she shook her head. “She asked me so many questions about Loran…”

“Did she stay glued to the pictures or you?”

“I’d have to say the pictures of Loran, until we went into the studio.”

“And…” C.C.’s eyes grew bigger, “the rest of the night?”

“The rest of the night after the studio, it was just us.”

“No mention of Loran?”

Brooke thought back over the evening in question, “Uhh…other than talking about her birthday, I don’t think so.”

The younger woman smiled, “So, who was she kissing then…hmmm?”

“Me,” came Brooke’s shy reply.

“And who did she say ‘I love you’ to…hmmm?”

“Me.”

C.C. crossed her arms over her chest, “Come on, Sis, admit it. She loves you. She’s not a player.” The brunette shook her head. “Loran was probably the furthest thing from her mind.”

“I know.” Brooke raised her eyes to the heavens, “God, I hope so.”

“If you’re that afraid, just tell her and be done with it. She’ll either leave or stay,” C.C. looked at her sister, then spoke from her heart. “But I’m betting on stay.”

“I don’t want to have to worry if she loves me or Loran.” Brooke stared off out the window at the changing colors in the eastern sky. “I don’t want to have to worry about if she’s making love to me or Loran.”

“You’ve…ah…” C.C. studied her sister’s face for a clue, “already…”

“No,” the dark hair cascaded around her shoulders as she shook her head. “We haven’t.”

“Then maybe you should.”

Blue eyes looked stunned, “You mean…”

“You know what they say, Sis,” the younger woman tried to act more worldly. “They always cry out the name of the one in their mind.” She turned away from looking at her sister, then chuckled at what she was thinking. “But I’d get a pet name first, if I were you.”

Brooke rolled her eyes at her sister’s wise crack, “Gee, thanks for that advice.”

The younger woman turned on her best innocent smile, “Sorry, Sis. I was just trying to help.” She nudged her sister with her elbow, “Hey, what do you expect? I’m probably still legally drunk, and you’re asking me for advice?”

The older woman didn’t hear what her sister had said, her mind was too involved, sorting things out. “So, we…we…uhm…you know… first” she winked at C.C., “or should I tell her first?”

“I think I better leave you on your own for this one, Sis.” C.C. took a step or two away from Brooke, then stopped and asked, “Does Sam even have a pet name for you?”

“No.”

“You sure,” she challenged her sister, “Auntie?”

The dark-haired woman hid her face in her hands, “Oh, God. I don’t think that counts. I just can’t imagine making love to her and hearing her screaming out ‘Auntie’.”

“Good,” C.C. held back the laughter that wanted to be let out. “Because that would be a little kinky coming out at the height of passion.”

“Yeah…really,” Brooke rolled her eyes at the thought. The two women shared a chuckle while new thoughts began to creep into the older woman’s mind. “God,” she shook her head trying to rid the image in her mind. “I got a call earlier tonight. I have to go up to Jersey the week after next.”

“Yeah? What’s in Jersey?”

“That band Brownstone just signed. They’re having trouble with their producer, so I need to go light a fire under his ass.”

“You doing it over the weekend?” C.C. smiled coyly. “Take Sam with you, maybe someone else will get a fire lit under their…”

“Nope, I’ll be there for at least a week.” Brooke sighed. “I wish I could take her with me.”

“Ask her anyway, she’s a smart kid,” the brunette wiggled her eyebrows suggestively. “Maybe smarter than you think.”

“What? About going with me?” One dark eyebrow rose in contemplation. “What about school?”

C.C. shook her head briskly, “You know, you can’t learn everything in school.” The young woman elbowed her sister in the ribs and winked.

Brooke’s eyes became as big as saucers, her voice crackled in disbelief. “You’re telling me to ask her to sleep with me?”

“Sleep?” C.C.’s brows arched as she tweaked her older sister. “I thought she was doing that already.”

Brooke rolled her eyes in disgust. “You know what I mean, C.C. I just want to make sure that I know what you mean.”

Finally giving up, the younger sister blurted out, “Hey, I’m the drunk. I don’t even know what I mean.”

Now, totally confused, Brooke raked her hands through her long dark tresses as she turned around obviously muttering to herself. Without warning, she pivoted back toward her youngest sister, bridging the gap between them in seconds as Brooke’s large hands grasped each of C.C.’s cheeks, centering the woman and staring directly into her eyes. “What are you telling me to ask her?” Blue eyes flashed with every word.

Visually shaken by the side of her sister that was seldom seen, the young woman’s mouth was left gaping as the words came filtering across the air.

“Ask me what?” The sound of a stifled yawn followed the question as Sam stood in the doorway, rubbing her eyes with the back of one hand.

Terror seized Brooke’s being, but suddenly her frenzied frustration wilted and the calm demeanor of a levelheaded C.E.O. returned. Tapping her sister’s cheeks lightly, she smiled and turned toward the figure in the doorway. “Hi, Baby. What are you doing up?”

Sniffing and clearing her throat, Sam walked over toward the two women. “Couldn’t sleep, my pillow moved,” she stifled another yawn then leaned into Brooke, “We going to bed or what?”

“Sure Baby,” one long arm encompassed the small blonde and held her tightly against the taller woman. “We can go to bed.”

The brunette watched the pair for a second before taunting her sister, “Yeah, you better go to bed, Brooke. You never know when you need that energy,” C.C. smirked, then stuck out her tongue letting the tip wiggle in the breeze.

The older woman rolled her eyes at the juvenile behavior of her now twenty-one year old sister and calmly stated, “Goodnight, C.C.”

The sibling went to the sink where she finished her glass of water then turned on the faucet and filled it up again. Turning back toward her sister, C.C. raised her glass toast style and tilted her head in Brooke’s direction, “I’ll just take this to my room. Don’t let me bother you.” The young woman began to smile broadly and walked out of the room, throwing a verbal wish out as she entered the hall, “G’night.”

The two women stood there, enjoying the warmth of the other for a moment before Brooke kissed the top of Sam’s head and asked, “Ready for bed, Sweetheart?” The slight nod of a very tired head and a gentle sigh was all that the taller woman needed. They started to walk out of the kitchen as Brooke kept her arm around Sam’s shoulders. “Come on, Darlin’, let’s get you tucked in.”

“Sounds good to me, Lover.” Sam stifled another yawn. “I hear that soft mattress calling my name already.”

“Lover…huh?” The corners of Brooke’s mouth edged upward at the meaning that the word implied as they started up the spiral staircase to the second floor.

Sam took a few more steps then turned and looked at the woman following her, “You said that’s your middle name…right?”

The tall woman looked Sam in the eye, then continued up the steps in her direction. “No, Sweetheart,” Brooke reached out and gently placed a accusatory finger on the blonde’s nose, “You said that was my middle name.”

Having reached the top of the stairs, Brooke stepped around the confused looking woman and headed for her bedroom.

Blonde brows furrowed as Sam’s tired brain tried to reason it out, but she couldn’t. Finally giving up with a show of hands raised upward in defeat, she uttered, “Okay, whatever…” then followed the dark-haired woman into the bedroom.

With the covers already thrown back, Brooke slipped out of her jeans and shirt then into the bed where she moved over, holding the covers back for Sam. Following suit, the blonde quickly shed her outer layer of clothing and snuggled in close to the warm body that would share the bed with her.

Lying there with Sam nestled close, Brooke ran over the conversation she’d just had with C.C. in her mind. Startling the older woman at the ease with which they were said, the soft-spoken words filled the room as they tumbled out of her mouth, “I love you, Sam.”

The young blonde smiled hearing the words and she blew a stray hair away from her face before responding, “Love you too, Baby.” She drifted off to sleep, unaware of the smile that it brought to the other woman’s face.

The sound of soft snores soon filled the room as Brooke tried to shutdown her over zealous mind from thinking about the situation any more. Her last thought before giving into sleep was more prayer-like than anything. “Please, Sam, don’t leave me…” Brooke sighed at the thought, then amended it, “…ever.”

Sleepy green eyes fought off the filtering rays of the mid-morning sun as it filled the room with light. Rolling to the other side of the bed for the familiar comforting touch of her friend, Sam only came up empty handed. The tall woman who had held onto her so tightly was gone and with it, all thoughts of staying in bed for the small blonde. Sensing the urge to attend to her needs, she climbed out of the king-sized bed and padded off into the master bathroom.

After emerging from the shower, refreshed and invigorated from her restful night of sleep, Sam dried off using the towel that Brooke had placed on the counter for her. Moving back into the bedroom, the small woman quickly pulled some clothing from her overnight bag and dressed, ready for whatever the new day may bring. With a smile on her face and the hope of finding Brooke, Sam took off for the kitchen and the cup of coffee that she knew would be brewing there.

“Hey there,” C.C. voice startled the blonde as she came past the door leading down to the studio.

“Hey, C.C.” Sam smiled and waved a little hello, “How are you feeling? Have you seen Brooke?”

“I’m feeling fine, thanks,” the brunette stepped out of the doorway and started walking down the hall toward the kitchen. “And… yeah, she’s in the studio,” she said as she motioned with her thumb extended in the direction of the door she had just left. “Did you sleep okay?”

Sam smiled as she got a little dreamy-eyed thinking about sleeping in Brooke’s warm embrace. “Yeah, I always sleep good when I’m here.”

“Really?” C.C. acted dumb, “Why is that?” The brunette turned to look at Sam, watching the red tinge come to the younger woman’s cheeks. “Come on, Roomie…” she wiggled her eyebrows, “You can tell me.”

“I…ah…” Sam stuttered.

“Yeeeessssss?” She drew out the word teasingly.

Swallowing hard, Sam looked to the floor trying not to show her embarrassment, “I like sleeping with your sister.” The blonde stole a look at C.C., “Alright?”

The brunette grinned broadly then, like a bolt of lightning, her right hand shot up toward the ceiling, “Woohoo!”

The blonde creased her brow at the sudden show of elation. “You act like it’s some sort of surprise.”

“Well yeah,” C.C. reached out and tweaked the smaller woman’s nose. “Damn, Sam. Three weeks ago you wanted to know what it was like to sleep with Loran,” C.C. chided her.

“Okay, so I was still a child three weeks ago.” Sam tried to hide her smile. “Maybe meeting your sister has helped me grow up,” the blush started in her cheeks. “At least in some matters.”

“Some matters?”

“It’s like…I know what I want finally,” Sam nodded, letting the smile come to her face. “And I’m happy with it.”

“Really?” C.C. pushed the issue even further. “So, what do you want?”

Sam laughed as she teased her roommate, “A million dollars.” They shared a laugh, then the blonde grew quiet before she spoke her mind. “What do you think I want? I want love, C.C. An honest to goodness love that will last my lifetime and then some.”

“Didn’t you always want that?”

“Yeah, but I thought fame was the trigger to make it work before. Now I know differently.”

“Fame? I don’t understand,” C.C. looked confused.

The blonde thought for a moment then answered, “It’s not fame, it’s what you feel inside that counts…” green eyes darted around the room trying to find better words to express herself. “What makes you want to keep living and breathing, just to see that face again…” she blushed, “…or hear those words one more time.”

C.C. looked wide-eyed and innocently at Sam, “And you’ve found that?”

“God, I’d love to think that I have…”

“So what’s stopping you?” C.C. poured a cup of coffee and offered it to Sam.

“Thanks,” the blonde took it and sipped at the black liquid, then made a face. “Too strong,” she mumbled and poured in some creamer and sugar. “Maybe I’m being childish to think that Brooke could care for me that same way.” She shrugged, then stirred the coffee with a spoon. “I’m just so much younger than her.”

The brunette almost dropped her own cup at hearing Sam’s defeatist attitude. “Oh God, Sam. My sister is so into you…”

Sam’s head lifted and she asked in wonderment, “You really think so? I mean…” She tried to qualm her excitement. “You’re just not saying that.”

“No, I know so,” C.C.’s words were out with no uncertainty.

The blonde swallowed hard and worked at forming the words, “You know so?”

Shaking her head and laughing, C.C. commented, “You two crack me up the way you dance around what you’re both feeling.” She sipped at her coffee, then continued, “Hell yes, I know so.”

“Dance around?” Sam stared into her coffee cup looking for answers, “What do you mean we dance around?”

C.C. sat down at the table and tugged at Sam’s sleeve until she did the same. “You don’t think she loves you as much as she does. She’s worried you’ll…uhm…find someone better and walk away from her.”

“Okay, so I’m a little insecure,” Sam sighed as she thought about what C.C. had just told her. Then it dawned on her, exactly what was said. “I’ll what?” she asked. “Why would I even want to find someone else? No one could be better, right?”

The brunette held up her right hand with its fingers outstretched, “One simple five letter word, girlfriend…” C.C. smirked, “Well, actually a name.”

“Huh?” Sam’s face was full of confusion at this point.

“L-O-R-A-N,” the letters were ticked off on C.C.’s fingers as she said them.

“I don’t understand,” Sam shook her head slightly. “What does Loran have to do with Brooke and I?”

“I don’t know, maybe she’s worried that you’d rather have Loran.”

“What? That some childish crush could…”

C.C. leaned in toward Sam and whispered, “You know, Brooke can be pretty insecure at times.”

“No, you’re kidding me,” Sam shook her head in disbelief.

“Kidding you? Never when it comes to her. Sam, she’d give you the world on a silver platter if it would make you happy.”

“Okay, C.C., what can I do to prove to her that I’m here to stay…that I’m not just fooling around,” the look on the blonde’s face was one of sheer determination.

“I don’t’ know…” the brunette shrugged her shoulders. “Tell her that.”

“Tell her what? That I love her and her alone.”

“Do you?” Brown eyes looked seriously into Sam’s eyes for the answer that she’d hope was there.

“Ah…C.C. is there really any question in your mind? There’s not in mine.”

“Then tell Brooke that,” she urged her roommate. “You won’t be disappointed. I promise you.”

“What, just come right out and tell her that?” Sam paused momentarily, and then continued, “I’m in love with Brooke Gordon; not Brooke Loran. Isn’t that a little obvious, C.C.?”

The brunette looked up to the ceiling trying to stifle a full-blown smile. “Something like that, yeah.” C.C. looked over to her friend. “She can be so dense sometimes. Look, Sam,” the woman held up her empty coffee cup, “I need more coffee so…she’s in the studio if you’d like to talk to her.”

“I’m going to feel like such a fool. God, she even knows Loran. She told me that herself,” Sam muttered out loud.

“Yeah? And so do I.” C.C. motioned with her head toward the studio stairway. “Go on, do it.”

Green eyes came to life as Sam came to a realization. “Oh God, she thinks I’m trying to use her, doesn’t she? I mean…to get to Loran.”

“I don’t’ think she believes that…” C.C. denied it as she got up to get more coffee. “Just don’t give her a chance to…”

“Well, we’re going to get this settled once and for all.” Sam stood up and pushed her chair back from the table. “No more beating around the bush. C.C. move aside,” Sam watched as the brunette’s eyebrow arched at her resolve. “I’m coming through,” Sam stepped around her roommate and headed for the studio and Brooke, determined to set things straight.

“God, I’m good,” C.C. gloated as she watched the blonde disappear down the stairway leading to the studio.

The tall, dark-haired woman sat at the set of drums with her back to the door of the recording studio. Sweat rolled down the muscular planes of Brooke’s body as she worked out in her own special way, dressed in a sports bra and a pair of spandex shorts to play the drums. Even the added effect of putting her long hair into a ponytail didn’t help to keep her cool. Whoever said that drummers didn’t get aerobic workouts had never met this one. Lost in her own rhythm, the woman seemed driven by her heart and soul as she beat out the cadence of the piece, while letting the melody seep into her body by way of the headphones that she wore.

Sam made her way down to the studio and stood there, watching the dark-haired woman seemingly going wild with the tempo, the sticks at times in her hands being nothing more than a blur. There was something very familiar about the drummer but the blonde just couldn’t put her finger on it. Letting her eyes slowly roam down the figure behind the kit, Sam started taking note of little things and putting them all together.

The blonde rapped against the soundproof glass that separated the two women, but Brooke never heard it. Between the music in her ears and the sound of the drum kit in the studio, the knocking was lost.

The twisting motion of the drummer caught Sam’s eye and she found herself zeroing in on the tattoo that adorned the small of Brooke’s back. Sam stood in awe of the raw fury and power that was being let go by the often times conservative C.E.O. here, where nobody else could witness it. The snapping of her head with the beat of the music made the ponytail go from being held in place to an example of how Brooke would look if she’d go with shorter hair. Why, if I didn’t know any better, Brooke almost looks like that photograph of Loran that I keep above my bed…Why I’d swear they could be…

Green eyes grew as big as saucers and Sam found herself pounding with both fists against the soundproof glass. What the hell does she thinks she’s doing, imitating Loran? “Brooke. Brooke,” she beat against the glass with both hands now, trying to get the drummer’s attention. “Damn it anyway. Aurgh!” Sam screamed at the top of her lungs as she reached for the doorknob and flung open the door into the soundproof room.

The determined blonde strode into the room and took up a position directly in front of the kit, standing with her hands on her hips, her green eyes glaring at the absorbed drummer. The seconds seemed to turn into minutes as she waited for Brooke to realize that she was no longer alone.

Brooke had just finished the long routine of fancy stick work when she opened her eyes, lessening her degree of concentration on the music. As if by some magic power, her eyes fell directly on blonde hair and intense green eyes. The tired, sweaty woman couldn’t hold her excitement in as a broad smile swept across her face when she stopped playing, pulling the earphones off her head.

“Hi Baby. How long have you been there?”

Sam inhaled loudly, then put her hand on the drumsticks to silence any further activity. “Long enough,” Sam’s eyes were filled with anger.

“What?” Brooke didn’t know what to make of this new side of Sam that she was seeing, but she knew that she wasn’t going to like it. Shit, I think she finally put two and two together, she thought before the drummer heard her name called out.

“Brooke…” Sam’s voice was direct and unwavering. “I don’t know what kind of game it is that you’re playing here, but acting like Loran isn’t what I’m looking for.”

Blue eyes flashed at the direction the conversation was going, “Whoa!” Brooke held up her hands in front of her in a halting motion, “What do you mean, acting like Loran? Elaborate, please.”

“Come on, I see what you’re doing.” Sam tapped her right foot now trying to keep her anger in check, “The pulled back hair that just happens to make it look short when you throw your head around, the fancy drum work,” she crossed her arms over her chest, “even that tattoo on your back. If you’re doing it for me, you can cut the crap out right now.”

“Damn it, Sam.” Blue eyes searched Sam’s face for the tiniest sign of love. “I’ve been playing drums longer than I’ve known you and I’ve had that tattoo since I was seventeen.” Brooke bent over and picked up the towel that was lying on the floor next to her stool, “As for the hair,” she wiped her neck, “it’s hot as hell in here after playing a set like I just did.”

The blonde rolled her eyes in disbelief. Go ahead, deny it Brooke. You’re imitating her just to get to me. “Aurgh!” Sam shook her head, “I can’t believe that you would think I’m so childish my heart would only go out to someone like that.”

“What?” Dark eyebrows furrowed with confusion. “I don’t think that. What are you talking about?” Brooke now stood up behind the drum kit.

“You know,” green eyes glared and the blonde’s jaw clenched tighter. “You are a much better person than she ever was…is…ugh, whatever.”

“Who?” Brooke wiped her arms with the towel and tossed it aside, “Whom are you talking about?”

“Loran, damn it.” Sam cocked her head to one side and continued in a pleading tone. “Aren’t you listening to me? I love you, not her.”

Hearing the words, Brooke shook her head, finally realizing what Sam was talking about. “Oh God, Sam.” She took in a breath and let it out slowly before asking, “Baby, what brought this on?”

“C.C.?” Brooke’s eyes roamed aimlessly for an answer.

“Yeah,” Sam nodded, “She said that you doubted my love and I… I just couldn’t let you think…”

Brooke closed her eyes against the pain and mumbled what her mind was thinking, “Fucking big mouth.”

“Is something wrong, Brooke?” Sam asked, still unsure of her feelings at the moment. “Did I misunderstand her somehow?”

“Baby, I never doubted that you loved me. I…” Brooke took out the fastener holding her ponytail in place, then ran her hand through her hair. “Damn it, I didn’t want to do it like this.”

Sam stepped back just slightly, “You’re scaring me, Brooke…”

“Baby, I know you love me,” blue eyes searched Sam’s face as she presented her case, “And I love you more than anything on God’s green earth…”

“But what…” Sam held her breath, “I know there’s always a but in there.”

The tall woman nodded, “But I wanted you to love me because you love me and not who I was…am…” Brooke’s voice trailed off to a whisper, then she shrugged, “whatever.”

“Brooke, I love you for who you are…now,” Sam took a step in the woman’s direction, her hand reaching out to comfort her.

“Even if I tell you?”

“Tell me what, Brooke Gordon?” Sam whispered.

Blowing out a long breath, the dark-haired woman mustered the courage to see her task through. “You might want to add my middle name to that Sam.”

“So… what is it? Tell me.”

Brooke locked onto Sam’s eyes, hoping for the best. “Loran,” she said slightly louder than a whisper. “Brooke Loran Gordon. I’m not acting like Loran, Sam. I am Brooke Loran.” The tall woman closed her eyes and waited.

Dazed, Sam absent-mindedly began to repeat the woman’s name, “Brooke Loran Gor…” the realization finally was setting in, “NO!”

The sound of the agonized denial caused the once confident woman to hang her head, letting her shoulders slump in defeat. Her past was haunting her again, worse than ever before. She moved over to the window in the studio and looked at the pictures of her past life on the walls in the hallway.

Sam watched, as the agony was evident in Brooke’s posture. “How could you be…” the young woman looked over at the photographs of Loran then back at the woman in front of her. “That’s not you.”

“Yes, Sam,” the tall woman nodded. “Those pictures are of me. That’s who I was… the mysterious Brooke Loran; drummer for Anti-Zero.” Brooke turned toward Sam and took an abbreviated bow. “Hell, you can check my driver’s license if you don’t believe me. It’s in my wallet on the soundboard,” she pointed to the console in the control room.

Torn by mixed emotions, Sam proceeded toward the console then reached for the wallet. As her fingers touched the worn leather, she stopped and looked over at its owner. Deciding not to look, Sam confronted the woman. “Why, Brooke? Why didn’t you trust me enough to tell me?”

Brooke’s shoulders slumped further as she hung her head, unable to look Sam in the eye. God, I’ve lost her for sure.

“Why, Brooke?”

“Because, I wanted to make sure that you wanted me…” Brooke swallowed hard as she shut her eyes in pain, “…not her.”

The blonde was too wrapped up in her own thoughts to hear what Brooke was saying. “Or did you…” she gasped, then finished her mutterings, “and I just wasn’t listening?”

“Baby, I tried. I almost told you…several times,” the older woman offered. “I think I tried everything but actually coming out and telling you.”

“I remember now.” Sam looked over at Brooke, “That game of hangman…it wasn’t Lover; it was Loran.” Green eyes glowed in realization. “I can’t believe I didn’t get that…”

Brooke’s head hung so low now that she thought she’d need to move her chest to speak, “Singing in the car; the studio,” the drummer sighed. “Hell, my e-mail addy; the tattoo…I was fighting with myself that night over telling you.” She smirked, “I was playing hangman with myself over ‘Loran.’ I didn’t want to lose you if you knew and I didn’t want to lose you if you didn’t know.”

“Maybe I was blinded by you… and I just didn’t want to hear it.” Sam looked up at Brooke, “Maybe it’s good that I didn’t know because, personally, I would have voted not to let Loran into my life, after having met you.”

The sulking woman quickly looked up at Sam, “What?”

“It was just a childish idea anyway, thinking that I could have someone like that…”

“Like what?” Brooke needed to know.

“Don’t patronize me,” Sam leveled a stare at Brooke. “I’m not in the mood. First you imitate her, and then you tell me you are her. What’s next?” The small woman threw up her hands to stop any idea of Brooke touching her. “NO, don’t even try,” then she bolted for the door.

“Damn it, Sam. I’m not imitating anybody. I am Loran… ask anybody who knows me…anybody that really knows me.” She watched as the young woman ran up the stairs and possibly out of her life, feeling compelled to chase her, “SAM!”

Reaching the top of the stairs and heading down the hallway, Sam called out to her roommate, “C.C.,” she turned the corner of the hall and looked into the kitchen. “C.C., I need you to take me home. I’m not going to let her continue with this charade.”

The brunette looked up from her coffee cup and asked, “What? What are you talking about? What charade?”

“SAM!” Brooke’s voice carried into the kitchen, causing her sister to become concerned.

“Home, C.C., dorm room…that’s where I want to be.” The blonde was in her face now. “So are you going to get me there or do I start walking?”

The startled woman tried to understand what was going on but didn’t have a clue. Before she could utter a single word, Brooke came bursting into the room at a full run, then stopped short seeing that Sam was still there.

“Wait, don’t go, Sam. Please?” she pleaded as she entered the room.

Sam pivoted her position and now glared at the tall woman, “Or what, Brooke…you’ll turn into James or Peter too?”

“Damn it, Sam, that’s not fair,” Brooke’s voice showed her anger.

“Oh, and look who’s crying not fair.” Sam turned back to her roommate demanding an answer, “C.C.?”

Brooke stood watching. “I told you there were things you needed to know about me…” her words trailed off to a whisper.

C.C. got up and walked over to her sister, “Look, let me borrow your car and find out what’s up.” The woman kept her voice down as she stole a glance back at Sam. “I’ll see where she’s coming from…”

“Need to know?” Sam’s anger now exploded. “Like what… that you’re some lunatic?”

“And you’re a saint?” Brooke clenched her fists and then released them. “I guess you lied to me then, when you told me that nothing I could ever tell you would make you feel any differently toward me.”

The blonde crossed her arms over her chest and tapped her foot as she glared first at C.C., then back to Brooke. “Oh, you mean that you monitor all your personalities? Great! Then tell them all good-bye from me.”

The older woman stood shell-shocked for a moment as her eyes started to tear up. “Well, if that’s what you really want…” Brooke moved over toward the counter, grabbing the keys from it. With a sigh of defeat, she turned toward her sister and threw the keys in her direction, then left the room, heading back toward the studio.

Seeing that Brooke had given up, Sam called out after her, and then moved toward the kitchen door. “No, it’s not what I wanted, but it’s what I’m doing.”

Not sure of whom to follow, C.C. watched as both women walked out different doors. “God, I don’t know what’s going on, but it’s obviously fucked up,” she mumbled. Then, grabbing a tighter hold on the keys in her hand, she followed Sam out the kitchen door.