Wings

8

For the next six months, Cassie's days seemed to fly by. She drove to Bradley every day, worked at the restaurant three afternoons a week to pay (or fuel when she flew with Nick. And she tried to get to the airport as soon as she could before nightfall. She did whatever she could to help there, but most of her work for her father, and flying, was done on weekends. And those were her happiest days. Nick even took her on some cargo runs to Chicago, Detroit, and Cleveland.

Her life had never before seemed as perfect. She missed her secret flying lessons with Nick sometimes, and the time they'd shared alone. But he taught her openly now, when they both had time, taking off from her father's airport. And although Pat never said anything to her, it was obvious that he approved of her style, and secretly he admitted to Nick once that she was a damn fine little flier. All of his obvious praise went to Chris, who tried hard, but really didn't deserve it. But it didn't bother Cassie anymore. She had everything she wanted.

The only problem she had was with her fiancé, who was aghast that her father had relented. But since he had, there was little Bobby could say, except to remind her constantly of his disapproval. Her own mother thought it was only a passing phase, something she would lose interest in once she and Bobby were married and had children.

The biggest news that spring was when Hitler took over Austria in March. For the first time, there was serious concern about war, although most people still believed Roosevelt. He said there would be no war, and America would never step in again if there was. Once had been enough. America had learned her lesson.

But Nick didn't think it was quite that simple. He had read about Hitler and didn't trust him. He also had friends who had volunteered to fly in the Spanish Civil War two years before, and he believed that soon all of Europe would once again be in terrible trouble. Nick could easily envision America getting involved again despite Roosevelt's promises and protests.

“I can't believe we'd get into it again. Can you, Nick?” Cassie asked seriously after they'd practiced for the air show.

“I can,” he answered honestly. “I think we will too, eventually. I think Hitler is going to go too far, and we'll have to step in to support our allies.”

“That's hard to believe,” Cassie said. It was harder still to believe that her father was actually going to let her fly in the air show. Nick had talked him into it, and more than anything, Pat was afraid of being embarrassed. He had already seen that she was safe, had good hands, and had been well taught, but what if she did very badly? What if she did so badly he couldn't hold his head up?

“Chris won't let you down,” Nick had encouraged him, and Pat had naively bought it. Nick was a lot surer of Cass, but he wouldn't have dared to say so to her father. Pat still wanted to believe that Chris had a great future in the air, and he refused to see how little Chris cared about flying. In all fairness, Chris didn't let him see his true feelings. He was afraid to.

And when at last the big day came, all of Nick's beliefs and predictions proved to be prophetic. Chris won the prize for altitude again, but Cassie took second for speed, on a straightaway, and first for a race on a closed-circuit course. As they announced the winners in the afternoon, Pat couldn't believe his ears, and neither could Cassie. She and Nick were dancing around like two children, hugging and kissing, and letting out whoops and screams. The local paper took a picture of her, first alone, and then standing next to her father. And Chris didn't begrudge her any of it. He knew how much it meant to her. It was her whole life. Pat couldn't believe what she'd done. But Nick could. He had always known it. And he wasn't surprised either when one of the turn judges said he'd never seen a pilot as good at high-speed pylon turns as Cassie.

“Well, you did it, kid.” Nick smiled at her, as he drove her home at the end of the day, after they had flown all her father's planes back to the airport.

“I still can't believe it,” she said, staring at him, and then looking into the distance out the window.

“Neither can your dad.” He smiled.

“I owe it all to you,” she said seriously, but he only shook his head. He knew better.

“You owe it to yourself. That's the one you owe it to. I didn't give you the gift, Cass. God did that. I only helped you.”

“You did everything.” She turned to look at him, feeling suddenly sad. What if he stopped teaching her now? What if they no longer spent time together? “Will you still take me up sometimes?”

“Sure. If you promise not to scare me.” He told her what the turn judge had said then, with real pride in her.

She guffawed, and then she almost groaned when she saw Bobby Strong waiting on their front porch. He had been so afraid of what might happen to her, he had refused to come to the air show. There were things she had to reckon with there, but she never had the courage, and he never wanted to hear it. He didn't want to believe how much flying meant to her, how badly she wanted other things than being his wife and having babies. What she really wanted right now was to relive every moment of the air show with Nick and have him assure her that their time together wasn't over. But instead now she'd have to deal with Bobby.

“There's your friend,” Nick said quietly. “You gonna marry him one of these days?” It was something he always wondered.

“I don't know,” she said honestly with a sigh. She was always honest with him. But her honest answers were not what Bobby wanted. She was nineteen years old and she didn't feel ready to tie herself to anyone, and yet it was what they all wanted for her. “Everyone keeps telling me I'll change, that being married and having kids changes everything. I guess that's what I'm scared of. My mom says it's what all women want. So how come all I want is what I had today and a hangar full of airplanes?”

“I can't say I've ever felt any different,” he grinned, and then grew thoughtful. “No, that's not true. I did feel differently when I was about your age. I tried like hell, but it didn't work. And I've been scared to death ever since. There's no room for both a family and planes in my life. But, Cassie, maybe you're different.” In a way he wanted her to be, but not for Bobby.

“My dad seemed to do okay at it,” she grinned back at him. “Maybe we're both weird, you and I. Maybe we're both just cowards. Sometimes it's easier to love airplanes than people.” Except that she knew she loved him. He was the dearest friend she had, and she knew he had loved her since she was a child. The trouble was, she wasn't a child now.

“You know,” he nodded thoughtfully then, responding to her calling herself a coward, “that's exactly what I said to myself today when I watched you do that triple loop followed by the inverted spin before you flipped into the barrel roll in the aerobatics race. I said to myself, gee, I never realized Cassie is a coward.” She burst into laughter at the expression on his face, and pushed him where he sat behind the wheel in his old truck.

“You know what I mean. Maybe we're cowards about people,” she said cautiously.

“Maybe we're just not stupid. I think being married to the wrong person is about as bad as it gets. Believe me, I tried it.”

“Are you telling me he's the wrong person for me?” Cassie asked him in an undertone as Bobby waited for her patiently on the porch. He had already heard that she'd been a two-time winner at the air show.

“I can't tell you that, Cass. Only you know that. But don't let anyone else tell you he's the right one either. You figure it out. If you don't, you'll be awfully sorry later.” She nodded at the unexpected wisdom of his words, and then hugged him again for all he'd done for her.

“I'll see you at work tomorrow.” She was going to be working at the airport all summer. Her father was going to let her quit her job at the restaurant and work for him, for a pittance. She wondered if her father would let her do cargo runs alone. She wondered if her performance in the air show was going to change things.

She hopped lightly out of the truck, with a last look at Nick, and then went to talk to Bobby. He had waited a long time for her, and he was pleased that she had won, but he looked annoyed as she hurried over. He had been worried sick all afternoon, working in his father's store, and terrified he would hear of a disaster at the air show. And now she looked as breezy as could be, as though she'd gone into town to go shopping with her sisters.

“It's not fair to me, Cass,” he said quietly. “I was worried about you all afternoon. You don't know what it's like, thinking of all the horrible things that could happen.”

“I'm sorry, Bobby,” she said quietly, “but it was a special day for me.”

“I know,” he nodded, but he didn't look pleased. None of her sisters flew, what was she trying to prove? He really didn't want her to keep on flying, and he said so. But now was not the time, and Cassie suddenly looked as angry as he did.

“How can you say that to me?” She had come too far now, the air show, her father, all those years of lessons with Nick. She wasn't coming down ever again now. She was up there. And she was staying, whether Bobby liked it or not. He figured that eventually he'd change her. But by the end of the summer he had come to understand that he had allied himself with a family of fliers, and blood ran thicker than engagements. For the moment, all he could do was ask her to be careful. And she was, of course, but not because of Bobby. She was just good at what she did. And she flew constantly. By fall, when Jackie Cochran won the Bendix Trophy race from Burbank to Cleveland, Cassie was starting to fly mail runs for her father. He was sure of her flying by then, and had had her fly him all over the state herself. He had finally admitted to Nick that he was right. It was a coincidence of course, and you couldn't really trust a female the way you could a male, but she was a damn good pilot. Of course, Pat never said as much to Cassie.

She stayed on at Bradley for her sophomore year, and worked at the airport all through the winter. She helped out on several emergencies, flew with Nick whenever she could, and by spring she was an accepted member of the team at the airport. She flew everywhere, short runs, long, and of course she was practicing again for the summer air show. She went out to practice sometimes with Nick, and their time together reminded her of their years of lessons. But now they had time to talk at the airport, while they worked, and more than once, she joined him flying cargo or mail runs.

She was still engaged to Bobby Strong, but his father had been sick all year, and he had more responsibilities at the store now. He seemed to be visiting Cassie less and less often. And she was so busy, sometimes she didn't even notice.

Hitler occupied the rest of Czechoslovakia in March, and became more of a threat than ever. Once again, there was talk of war, and fear of an American involvement. Roosevelt continued to promise that it wouldn't happen this time. And Nick continued not to believe him.

When Charles Lindbergh returned from Europe in the spring of 1939, he was the most outspoken champion of America staying out of the war. And Pat was glad to hear it. He believed whatever the famed aviator had to say. To Pat O'Malley, the name of Lindbergh was still sacred.

“We don't belong in the next one, Nick. We learned our lesson in the last one.” Pat was adamant. He was sure the United States would never get pulled into another war in Europe. But there was already trouble between the Chinese and the Japanese. Mussolini had taken Albania. And Hitler seemed to be looking toward Poland.

But all Cassie could think of by then was the summer air show. She was hard at work learning rolls and turns, and some new aerobatics she'd seen at a small airstrip in Ohio where she'd gone with Nick. She was working on her speed, and practicing whenever she could spare the time. By June, she had finished her sophomore year, and she thought she was ready for the air show.

Bobby was annoyed about her participating in the air show again, but he had his own problems at the grocery store, and he had long since understood how impossible Cassie was about flying. They went to see the new Tarzan movie when it came out in June, and it was the only respite they shared as she prepared for the air show.

Finally, at long last, the big day came, and Cassie was at the airstrip in Peoria with Nick at four o'clock in the morning. Her brother was coming in later with Pat, but he wasn't particularly enthused about flying in the show this year. He had been so excited about starting college at Western Illinois University at Macomb that he had hardly practiced. Pat was still pinning all his hopes on him, and despite Cassie's impressive wins the year before, he scarcely ever mentioned her entering the air show.

Nick helped her fuel the plane and check everything, and at six o'clock he took her out for breakfast.

“Relax,” he smiled at her, remembering how he himself had been the first time he'd flown in an exhibition show, after the war. Pat had gone with him and Oona had brought the kids to see him. Cassie had been there too of course, she was only two then. And remembering that suddenly made him feel old. The two had become so close since he had started teaching her to fly years before. They had developed a bond that they would never lose now. But the painful thing for him sometimes was forcing himself to remember that he was old enough to be her father. She was twenty now, and there were eighteen years between them. He still felt like a kid, and he looked far younger than his years, and Cassie accused him constantly of acting like a child. But the fact was, he was thirty-eight… and she was only twenty. He would have given anything to cut in half the difference between them. Not that she seemed to care. But he did. But then again, she was still the daughter of his closest friend, and nothing would ever change that. Pat would never have understood the bond or the closeness between them. Nick knew it was a hurdle they would never overcome, unlike her flying. Pat had gone that far, but he would go no further.

Nick ordered her a plate of eggs, some sausages, a side of toast, and a cup of black coffee. But she waved it away as soon as it appeared at the table.

“I can't, Nick. I'm not hungry.”

“Eat it anyway. You'll need it later. I know what I'm talking about, kid. Otherwise, you're going to go weak in the knees when you're doing loops and negative G's out there. Be a good girl and eat it, or I'll have to force it down your throat, and the waitress might not understand it.” He looked at her in a way that said how much he cared, and she grinned up at him happily.

“You're disgusting.”

“You're cute. Especially when you take first prize. I like that in a girl. In fact, I'm kind of counting on you to do that.”

“Be nice. Don't push. I'll do what I can.” But she wanted to win first prize too, maybe even several of them. For him, for herself, and more importantly, to impress her father.

“He loves you anyway, you know. He just can't stand admitting he was wrong. But he knows how good you are. I heard him tell a bunch of guys at the airport last week. He just doesn't want to tell you, that's all.” Nick understood him better than Cass did. For all his gruff ways and seeming outrage over women fliers, her father was desperately proud of her, and just as embarrassed to show it.

“Maybe if I stacked a bunch of prizes up today, he'd have to admit, finally, that I fly okay… to me, I mean, not just to a bunch of guys.” She still sounded angry when she talked about it sometimes. Her father was always bragging about Chris, who didn't even like to fly. It drove her crazy.

“Would it really make that much difference to hear the words?” Nick asked her, eating fried eggs and steak with her. He wasn't going to be doing loops, but he had ordered himself a healthy breakfast.

“Maybe. I'd like to hear them just for the hell of it. Just to see how it feels.”

“And then what?”

“I go back to flying for you, and him, and myself, no big deal, I guess.”

“And you finish college and become a teacher.” He liked to say the words, but they both knew that she didn't believe that.

“I'd rather teach flying like you,” she said honestly, taking a sip of hot coffee.

“Yeah, and fly mail runs. That's a great life for a college girl”

“Don't be so impressed. I haven't learned a thing, except from you.” And she meant it. But they were interrupted before he could deflect her praise, by a group of young men who had just finished breakfast. They seemed to hesitate somewhere near their table, circling like young birds, glancing at Nick and eyeing Cassie.

“You know those guys?” Nick asked in an undervoice, and she shook her head. She had never seen them, and then finally one of them approached Cassie's table. He looked down at her, and then at Nick, and he looked suddenly very young as he got up the nerve to address them.

“Are you… Stick Calvin?” he asked hesitantly, and then he glanced at her, “And Cassie O'Malley?”

“I am,” she answered before Nick did.

“I'm Billy Nolan. I'm from California… we're flying in the air show. I saw you there last year,” he blushed furiously, “you were terrific.” He looked about fourteen and Nick almost groaned. He was actually twenty-four, but he didn't look it. He was blond and young, his hair stood up in a cowlick like a kid's, and his face was covered with freckles. “My dad knew who you were,” he said to Nick. “He flew in the 94th with you, he got shot down. You probably don't remember him… Tommy Nolan.”

“Oh, my God,” Nick grinned as he stuck out his hand, and invited Billy to sit down with them. “How is he?”

“Pretty good. He's had a bad limp since the war, but it doesn't seem to bother him much. We have a shoe store in San Francisco.”

“Good for him. Does he fly anymore?” Nick remembered him well, and the funny thing was that Billy looked just like him.

But Billy said he hadn't flown in years, and he was none too thrilled that Billy had caught the bug from him. His friends were standing watching him then, and Billy beckoned them over. There were four of them, all about his age, and all from various parts of California. For the most part, they looked like cowboys.

“Which races are you in?” they asked Cass, and she told them. Speed, aerobatics, and a number of others, which Nick thought was a little ambitious. But it meant so much to her, and she loved being in the air show so much, he hadn't wanted to dampen her spirits. She had waited a long time for this, and she really enjoyed it.

Billy introduced them to everyone, they were a nice bunch of guys, and for the second time that morning, Nick Calvin felt ancient. Most of the boys were fifteen years younger than he was. They were all closer to Cassie's age, and by the time they all left the restaurant, everyone was laughing and chatting, and talking about the air show. They were like a bunch of kids, going to the school fair, and having a great time.

“I ought to let you kids go play,” Nick grinned at them, “but then again maybe Cassie might forget to fly. Maybe I'd better stick around to sec that you all behave and remember the air show.” They all laughed at him, and most of them had a thousand questions about the 94th and the war, and the Germans he had shot down before it ended. “Hey, hold on a minute, guys… one at a time,” and he told them another story. They treated him like a hero, and they were all in high spirits when they got to the fairground. This was what flying was all about, the camaraderie, and the fun, and the people you met at times like this, the experiences you shared. It wasn't just about the long flights and the solitude, and the sky at night when you felt as though you owned the world. It was all of those things, the highs and the lows, the terror and the peace of it, the incredible contrasts.

They wished Cassie luck, and went off to check their plane. They were all taking turns flying it, and they were enrolled in different events. But only Billy was going to be flying against Cassie.

“He's nice,” she said easily, once they were gone, and Nick glanced at her over his shoulder.

“Don't forget you're engaged,” he said politely, and she laughed at the pious look on his face, which was very unlike him. Most of the time he had no interest at all in Bobby Strong, or her fidelity to him.

“Oh for heaven's sake. I just meant he was ‘nice,’ you know, as someone to talk to. I wasn't planning to run off with him.” She was fueling the plane, and wondered suddenly if Nick could be jealous. It was a ridiculous idea, and she brushed it off as soon as she thought it.

“You could run off with him, you know,” he persisted. “He's the right age. And at least he flies. That might be refreshing,” he said innocently.

“Are you finding guys for me now?” She looked amused. “I didn't know that was part of the service you provided,” she said calmly.

‘The service I will provide will be to chain you to the ground if you don't prepare your plane right. Don't fool around, Cass. You're going to be putting a lot of stress on the plane, and yourself. Ray attention.”

“Yes, sir.” The games were over now, but for a fraction of an instant, she could have swom that he was jealous, although he certainly had no reason to be. She was engaged to someone else, and they were just friends, and always had been. She wondered if it annoyed him to see her making friends with other pilots. He was very proud of all she'd done, and maybe that was what had been bothering him. It was hard to tell as he helped her check the plane. And then a few minutes later they saw her father and her brother. It was nearly eight o'clock by then. And the races started at nine. Although her first event wasn't until nine-thirty.

“All set, Cass?” her father asked nervously. “Did you check everything?”

“I did,” she said defensively. Didn't he think she was capable of doing it? And if he cared so much, why hadn't he come out to help her, instead of Chris? He could have been attentive to both of them, but he wasn't. All his concern was for Chris, who looked more than anything as though he wished he didn't have to be there. He was in only one event this year, and Cassie hoped for his sake that he'd win it.

“Good luck,” her father said quietly, and then left her to join Chris across the airfield.

“Why does he bother?” she muttered as he walked away, and Nick answered gently.

“Because he loves you, and he doesn't know how to say it.”

“He has an odd way of showing it sometimes.”

“Yeah? Maybe it's because you kept him up all night when you were born. Maybe you deserve it.” She grinned at the answer he gave her. Nick always made her feel better about everything, and it was comforting to know that he'd always been there.

She saw Billy Nolan and the boys again before her first event. They were hooting and laughing and raising hell. It was hard to believe they were serious, but they had entered all the toughest races.

“I hope they know what they're doing,” Nick said quietly. They looked like a bunch of kids, but it was hard to tell sometimes. He had known some real aces who had looked like cowboys. But no one wanted to watch a tragedy, and that usually happened when people overestimated their skill, or didn't know their planes’ limits.

“They must be okay,” Cassie said confidently, “they qualified.”

“So did you,” he teased, “what does that mean?”

“Jerk…” she laughed at him, and half an hour later she was on her way. It was almost her turn. There had already been some pretty impressive stunts in the air, some great gasps, a few screams. It was all in a day's work at the air show.

“Give 'em hell!” Nick called as he left her and she taxied off down the short runway in the Moth for the aerobatic event. And for the first time in years, he found himself praying. He hadn't been nearly as nervous for her last year, but this year he was afraid she might push too hard, just to prove something to him, or her father. She wanted to win more than anything, and he knew it.

She began with a few slow loops, then a double, and a barrel roll. She went through the whole repertoire backward and forward, including a Cuban eight, and a falling leaf, and as he watched her, each exercise was completed to perfection, and then she did a triple, and a dive, and somewhere near him a woman screamed, not realizing that in an instant, Cassie would recover… and of course she did. Perfectly. It was the most beautiful demonstration he had ever seen, and she finished it off with an outside loop, which delighted everyone. And Nick was beaming at her when she landed.

“Not bad for a start, Cass. Pretty clean.” His eyes shone right into hers as he praised her.

“That's all?” Her excitement and adrenaline turned instantly to disappointment, but he gave her a tight hug and told her she'd been terrific. “You were the best,” he said honestly, and half an hour later, the judges confirmed it. Her father congratulated her politely when their paths crossed. But his praise was more for Nick than for Cassie. He was proud of her. But it still irked him that she was showing up the men with her flying.

“You must have had a very good teacher.”

“I had a very good student,” Nick corrected him, and the two men smiled, but her father said nothing more to Cassie.

Chris's race was next, and he tried hard, but he lost. He didn't even place this time, and the truth was he didn't really care anymore. For him, his flying days were over. He was much more interested in his classes at school, and all things separate from planes and airports. He just didn't have the bug, and the only thing he hated about it was disappointing his father.

“I'm sorry, Dad,” he apologized after he parked the plane. “I guess I should have practiced more.” He'd been flying Nick's beefed-up Bellanca, which Cassie was going to fly too.

“Yes, you should have, son,” Pat said sadly. He hated to see him lose when, with a little effort, he could have been a great flier, or so Pat thought. But Pat was the only one who thought of Chris that way. Everyone else knew the truth, even Chris, that he just wasn't a flier. But Cassie congratulated him anyway.

“Good job, baby brother. That was a pretty piece of flying.”

“Not pretty enough apparently,” he grinned at her, and then congratulated her for taking first prize in the previous event.

And a few minutes later she saw one of Billy Nolan's friends take second place. He had done some very fine flying.

Cassie's next race was at ten o'clock and it was more difficult this time. It involved speed, and she was worried that the Vega couldn't do it. It was fast, but some of the racing planes were faster.

“She'll do it if you play her right,” Nick promised as he talked to Cassie right before takeoff. The Vega was a great plane and Cassie flew it well. Nick knew that for this race it was better than the Bellanca. “Just keep cool, Cass. Don't let it scare you.” She nodded and said not a word as she taxied off, and a moment later she was in the air, and flying remarkably. Nick had never seen anyone more precise or faster, and she managed some extraordinarily complicated maneuvers. He couldn't take his eyes off her, and he noticed that Pat was watching her intently too. And so was a tall blond man in a blazer and white trousers. He was watching her very carefully through binoculars, and talking to a man who was taking notes. He was out of place and Nick figured he was probably from one of the Chicago papers.

Cassie won second prize that time, but only because she hadn't had a faster plane. She had overcome every handicap the Vega had, and Nick still couldn't believe it. He had never expected her to win that race, and she had placed handsomely. When she was down again, Billy came over and congratulated her. He had won third against her. They were a great bunch of fliers, and Nick liked what he had just seen of Billy. He was careful and sure, and he had won in spite of an inferior plane. Like Cass, he had pushed it to the limit.

She had two more races to fly that day. One at noon, which went well, and the last one in the afternoon, which was a race Nick would have preferred she hadn't entered. She and Nick had had lunch with Billy Nolan and his friends, Chris had joined them eventually, and when her father wandered by, she introduced them to the famous Pat O'Malley. He liked all the young boys, and Billy spent some extra time talking to him, telling him about his father. Fat remembered him well, and was sorry he had lost track of him in the past twenty years. He had genuinely liked him.

And then it was time for Cassie's race. When Pat heard that she had entered, he was furious, and his eyes blazed as he berated his partner.

“Didn't you tell her not to?” he barked at Nick, who looked annoyed and unhappy at Pat's reaction. He felt guilty enough for letting her enter it and Pat wasn't helping.

“She takes after her old man, Pat. She does what she wants.”

“She's got the wrong plane for that, and she doesn't have the experience to do it.”

“I told her that. But she's practiced a lot, and I think she's smart enough to let it go if she can't make it. She's not going to push it to the edge, Pat. I told her that myself.” He only prayed that she had listened.

The two men stood staring up at the sky unhappily, with Chris, and Billy and his friends, and the man in the white trousers. It was a daredevil event, usually entered only by old stunt pilots with aerobatic planes, which Nick's Bellanca wasn't. But she had desperately wanted to try her hand at this event. It allowed her to show off all the stuff she did best, and pull off a miracle or two, if she could get the plane to cooperate with her at low altitudes. She knew it was going to be scary, but she was prepared to scrub the race if she really had to.

There were over a dozen moves she had to do, all of them impressive and frightening, and she went through the first half dozen of them without being a hair off. Pat was even beginning to smile as he watched her. And then on the final dive, she seemed to lose control. Her plane dove with its wings askew, and Nick wondered if she was panicking and had forgotten everything he had taught her, or maybe she had fainted. But she was doing absolutely nothing to save herself, nothing at all, and no one moved as they stared in horror at what was going to become a tragedy in a single instant. But suddenly, with a roar, she throttled the hell out of it, and pulled up, barely higher than the heads of the horrified crowd, and pulled out of it, soaring high and completing a triple roll that took everyone's breath away. She completed every move and did a final loop that won her the race hands down, without even hearing from the judges.

Nick had a lump in his throat the size of an egg and Pat looked gray, but as he realized what she'd done, Nick wanted to throttle her for scaring him so badly. How could she terrify them that way? Even first prize wasn't worth it. He ran to where she taxied the plane and almost yanked her out of the cockpit.

“What the hell were you doing up there, you damn fool? Trying to kill yourself showing off? Don't you realize that another foot and you couldn't have pulled up?”

“I know that,” she said calmly, startled to realize that he was shaking. She had done everything intentionally and with flawless calculation.

“You're a lunatic, that's what you are! You're not human, and you have no right to be in a plane.”

“Did I lose?” She looked agonized and more than ever he wanted to shake her, as her father watched from the distance with a look of fascination. And as he watched Nick's face, he realized that he was seeing something there he had never seen before. He wondered if Nick even knew it.

“Did you lose?” Nick raged on, holding firmly to her arm. “Are you nuts? You almost lost your life up there, and killed about a hundred people.”

“I'm sorry, Nick.” She looked suddenly contrite. “I thought I could get away with it.”

“You did. Damn you. And it was the finest piece of flying I've ever seen, but if you ever do anything like that again, I'm going to kill you.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Good. Now get out of that damn plane, and go apologize to your father.”

But surprisingly, he was much kinder to her, although he had been as scared as Nick, and he was grateful that Oona wasn't there to see it. She had stayed home with Glynnis, who was pregnant again, and all five of her young ones had the measles. But Fat had seen what Nick had done, and he thought there had been enough said. Instead, he complimented her on her style and her courage.

“I guess Nick was right after all,” he said almost humbly. “You're quite a flier, Cass.”

“Thank you, Dad.” He gave her a hug, and it was the greatest moment of her life as he held her.

They watched Billy Nolan fly again after that, and he won first prize in his last race too. Cassie had won a second and three firsts, which was better than she'd dreamed. And the newspaper kept taking her picture.

They were all standing around drinking beer and watching the last event, when suddenly Cassie saw Nick's jaw tighten as he stood beside her. She followed his eyes high into the sky, and saw smoke, and suddenly, like everyone else there, she looked frightened.

“He's in trouble,” Nick whispered to her. They all knew who it was. It was a young pilot named Jim Brad, shaw. He had two babies and a young wife, and a plane that wasn't worth spit, but more than anything in life, he loved air shows.

“Oh, my Cod,” Cassie mouthed the words, as they all watched in horror, as he began to spiral lazily, just as she had, but this was for real, and the plumes of smoke from his fuselage told them all that this was no stunt. This was a disaster. The crowd began to run away from where the plane appeared to be, and people started screaming. But Cassie found she couldn't move, all she could do was stare at it, the lazy bird falling head over heels, into the ground, and then suddenly it hit with a tremendous crash and an explosion. People ran from everywhere, and Nick and Billy were among the first there, trying to pull Jim from the wreckage, but it was too late. He was inhumanly burned, and it was obvious that he had died on impact. His wife was sobbing hysterically, and two of the women held her, as her mother held onto the children.

The ambulances were already there, but it was a somber end to an exciting day, a reminder to all of them of the danger they constantly courted.

“I guess we'd better go home,” Nick said quietly, and Fat nodded. Earlier that day, Pat had feared that Cassie might meet the same fate and he was ashamed to admit now how grateful he was that it had been someone else and not his daughter.

Billy came to say good-bye to them, as they loaded their three planes onto flatbeds, and tied them up firmly.

“I'd like to come out and see you at the airport before I go,” he said to Fat after they shook hands.

“Anytime. You going back to San Francisco?”

“Actually, I was wondering… I was kind of hoping maybe you could use another pair of hands… I… I wouldn't mind sticking around and doing some flying.”

“We could use a flier like you, lad. Come by and see me tomorrow morning.”

Billy thanked him profusely, and they all said goodbye again. His friends were all going home the next day, and Billy looked thrilled to be staying.

“What do we need another hotshot kid for?” Nick asked Fat, with a look of annoyance.

“You planning to spend the rest of your life flying nights?” Pat asked with a look of amusement. “Don't worry. I don't think he's her type.” Her father grinned ruefully and for the first time in years, Nick blushed, and turned away from his old friend. “I might remind you though, Nick Calvin, she's engaged to the Strong boy, and shell marry him eventually, if I have anything to say about it. She needs a man firmly planted on the ground, not up in the sky, like the two of us.” He meant what he said, but what he'd seen in Nick's eyes that day intrigued him. There was something very powerful there, between the two of them, though he suspected that Cassie was too young to know it. But he also knew that Nick was wise enough not to be carried away by his own emotions.

They headed for the O'Malley home then, where Oona had promised to cook them dinner.

She was amazed to hear of Cassie's wins when they got home. In most ways, it had been a good day. But the death of Jim Bradshaw had spoiled it for all of them, and then in the midst of dinner, Bobby had arrived, looking crazed. He burst into their living room, and apologized when he saw them all eating dinner. His eyes went to Cassie first, and he looked as though he were going to burst into tears. He looked so distressed that Oona rose as though to go to him, but he backed out of the room apologetically and stood in the doorway.

“I'm sorry… I… they told me there was an accident…” His eyes filled with tears again, and they all felt sorry for him. It was easy to see what he'd thought, and Cassie got up and went to him.

“I'm sorry. It was Jim Bradshaw,” she said softly.

“Oh, my God. Poor Peggy.” She was a widow at nineteen and alone with two children. Bobby seemed overcome at the thought of it, but what had upset him so terribly was the fear that it could have been Cassie who was killed. And no one he talked to seemed to know what had happened.

They went out to sit on the porch quietly, and Cassie closed the door. You couldn't hear anything from inside the room, but they could still see how distressed he looked, as he talked to her. And she just sat there and nodded.

He was telling her that he couldn't live like this anymore, just being engaged to her, not going anywhere, not getting married, and never being entirely sure if they even had a future. He knew that she wanted to finish school, but he wasn't sure he could wait two more years. His father was so ill now, and his mother was so dependent on him. He seemed overwhelmed by all of it, and it was obvious to her that he needed her to help him. But it was equally obvious to both of them that she wasn't prepared to give up everything, and be what he needed.

“And this flying thing.” He looked at her, his eyes filled with anguish. “I can't live like this. I keep thinking you're going to be killed… and today… you could have been… you could have been…” He started to cry and she put her arms around him and held him.

“Oh, poor Bobby… poor Bobby… it's all right… shhh…” It was like consoling one of her nephews. But she understood now that there was too much on his shoulders and she was only part of that burden. He desperately needed someone to help. He was only twenty-one, barely more than a boy himself, and he deserved so much more than she had to give, and they both knew it. As she comforted him, she gently slipped his ring off her finger, and pressed it into his hand. ‘You deserve so much,” she whispered to him, “you deserve everything, and I have a long, long road ahead of me. I know that now. I was never sure of it before, but I am now.” She wanted life and freedom and flying. And now that her father accepted her, maybe she could have all those things. But she couldn't give Bobby Strong what he deserved, and in truth it was the last thing she wanted.

“Are you going to keep flying, Cass?” he asked miserably, sniffing like a small child, while the members of her family in the main room tried to ignore them.

“I am,” she nodded at him. “I have to. It's my life.”

“Don't get hurt… oh God, Cassie… don't get hurt… I love you… I thought you were dead today.” He was sobbing again and she felt terrible for him. She could only imagine what it must have been like. Just as it had been for Peggy Bradshaw.

“I'm okay… I'm fine…” She smiled up at him with tears in her own eyes. “You deserve wonderful things, Bobby, not someone like me. Find yourself a good wife, Bobby Strong. You deserve it.”

“Will you stay here?” he asked curiously, and it seemed an odd question to her. She had nowhere else to go, and she had always lived there.

“Where else would I go?”

“I don't know,” he smiled sadly, holding her ring. He missed her already. “You seem so free to me. Sometimes I hate our damn grocery store, and all the problems that go with it.”

“You're going to do great things,” she said confidently, sure that it was a lie, but he deserved all the encouragement she could give him.

“Do you really think so, Cass?” He sighed then, thinking of his life. “The funny thing is I just want to be married and have kids.”

“And I don't.” She grinned. “That's the trouble.”

“I hope you do one day. Maybe well find each other again,” he said hopefully, wanting to pursue the dream again. She had always seemed so exciting to him, maybe even too much so.

But she shook her head as she looked at him. She was wiser than he was.

“Don't wait for that. Go get what you want.”

“I love you, Cass.”

“I love you too,” she whispered as she hugged him again and then stood up. “Do you want to come inside?” she asked, but he shook his head, tears bright in his eyes.

“I guess I better go.” She nodded, and he slipped the ring into his pocket. He stopped for a long moment, and looked at her again, and then he turned and hurried off the porch before he started crying again. And Cassie went hack inside and sat down. No one asked her anything, but they could all guess what had just happened. Nick glanced at her finger, and he wasn't surprised not to see the ring. In fact, he was relieved not to see it. Now all he had to worry about was Billy Nolan.