Wings

17

The weekend at home turned out to be difficult for both of them. Cassie made every effort to stay away from Nick, but their world was too small. And they kept running into each other everywhere, at the house, at the airport, even at the grocery store when she did some shopping for her mother. And he tried to be respectful of her, for her sake, if not for Desmond, but it was impossible. They wound up in each other's arms again the night before she left. It was the night of her twenty-second birthday. He'd had dinner with her and her family. And all through the meal, they were inexorably drawn to each other like magnets. They knew it was their last night to see each other, and there might never be another chance again. The very thought of that made them panic.

“We can't do this, Nick,” she said after kissing him longingly. “I promised Dad I wouldn't. And I can't do it for me… or to Desmond.” And the way the press followed her around, all she needed was a scandal. They had tried to get pictures of everyone at the airport today, but Nick had disappeared discreetly into his shack until the photographers left and then he emerged again, and she was grateful. She knew that Desmond would have been very upset to see Nick in the pictures. She hadn't told him Nick was home when she called him.

“I know, Cassie… I know.” Nick didn't argue with her. He didn't want to hurt her. They sat on the porch and talked. Her parents had gone to bed an hour before but they hadn't said anything when Nick had stayed to talk to Cassie. She was leaving the next day and it was their last chance to be together.

“Are you sure you're ready for the tour? Billy says your plane is heavy as hell.”

“I can handle it.”

He didn't argue with her about it this time. “Is your route safe?”

“It better be. Desmond works on it every night until midnight.”

‘That must be fun for you,” he said smartly, and then he smiled at her ruefully. “Damn fool. You could have had Bobby Strong and be selling onions, and what do you do? You marry the biggest tycoon in the country. Can't you do anything right, Cass?” he teased and she laughed. There was nothing laughable about it, but if they didn't laugh, they'd cry. Just in the few days that they'd both been in town, it was obvious to both of them that they were cursed with loving each other forever. Each time they met, or looked into each other's eyes, the power of what they felt for each other brought them closer. There was no escaping it. And Cassie realized now that it wasn't something time would change. She and Nick were part of each other. They always would be. There was no denying it anymore. She had never loved Nick more, and now she had to live with the agony of loving Nick and not wanting to betray Desmond.

But on this last night, they both knew this was their only chance to be together, and perhaps their last one. He was returning to the war to risk his life again, and she was taking every chance possible, flying across the Pacific. It was too late for games, or even anger anymore. They just had to live with what they'd done. They had both been foolish, and they knew it.

“What are we going to do, Cass?” he asked unhappily, as they looked at a full moon in a starry sky. It was a perfect night to be in love, but their story was no longer simple. They both longed for the early days when they had spent hours together at the deserted airstrip. They could have done anything then. And instead, they had made such stupid choices, he to fight another war, and she to marry a man she cared for, but didn't love. She knew only too well that despite all her loyalty to Desmond, Nick was the only man she loved or ever would. Maybe one day it would change, but it hadn't yet, and she didn't think it would for a long time, if ever. She'd been kidding herself when she married Desmond, and now that she saw Nick again, she knew it.

“I wish I were going back to England with you,” she said sadly.

“So do I. There are no women flying in combat over there. Not yet anyway, but the limeys are pretty open-minded.”

“Maybe I should run away and join the RAF,” she said, only half serious. She couldn't see how she was going to live her life now. In a way, she was grateful for the tour. At least it would keep her busy, and away from Desmond.

“Maybe I never should have gone in the first place,” he said, surprising her totally. And listening to him worried her. If he lost heart now, he could get hurt. She had heard too many stories like that, of men who lost their girlfriends or their wives, and then got killed in action.

‘It's too late to say that now,” she scolded him, “you'd better pay attention to what you're doing.”

“Look who's talking,” he laughed, thinking of what she was facing in barely more than a month. The thought of her tour still worried him sick, as he invited her to take a walk with him, and they walked slowly from her parents’ house toward the airport. It just seemed to act like a magnet for them. He told her what England was like for him, and she told him about the tour, and their route across the Pacific.

“It's a damn shame the war won't let you do a proper one. I'd feel better than with those long stretches across the Pacific.” But that was where the glory was right now, and they both knew that.

They were at the airport while they talked of it, and almost without thinking, they wandered toward the old Jenny. It was a warm night, and the moon was so bright, they could see easily across the airport.

“Want to go for a ride?” he asked hesitantly. She had a right to tell him to go to hell, but they both knew she didn't want to. She wanted to be alone with him for a while, and forget her other life, and the fact that they had to leave each other again tomorrow. This time maybe forever.

“I'd like that,” she said softly. And without another word, she helped him push the plane out, and do their ground check. They sailed into the midnight sky easily, with all the familiar sounds and feelings. But there was something different about doing it at night. They were in their own world up there, a world full of stars and dreams, where no one else could touch or hurt them.

He hesitated only briefly at the old airstrip where they used to meet, and brought the little plane down easily in the moonlight. And then he shut the engine off, and helped Cassie from the plane. They had no idea where they were going, they just knew they needed to be together now, in their own world, away from everyone. And here it was so peaceful. Without thinking, they both wandered toward the place where they used to sit and talk for hours. She felt so much older now, and so much sadder. Her brother was gone, and she had lost all hope of being Nick's now. It was here that he had kissed her for the first time, and told her he loved her. It was the day he had told her he was joining the RAF. And they'd been making bad decisions ever since then.

“Don't you wish you could turn the clock back sometimes?” she asked, looking up at him as he watched her sadly.

“What would you do differently, Cass? Then, I mean?”

“I'd have told you how much I loved you a long time ago. I never thought you'd care because I was just a kid. I thought you'd laugh at me.” She looked beautiful as he watched her standing beside him.

“I thought your father would have me arrested.” It was strange to realize now that Fat wouldn't have disapproved of him, and they had loved each other for so long. And now she was married to someone else, it was all so crazy.

“My father might have you arrested now,” she smiled, “but not then, I guess.” But she wasn't even sure he'd object now. He knew how much they loved each other, even though this was exactly what he had told her he didn't want her doing. But he had softened so much over the years. He was her closest friend now. Especially now that Nick was gone. Her father had been surprisingly understanding about everything she'd done. It still surprised her.

They walked over to their old familiar log, and the grass was damp. Nick took the old flight jacket off, and let her sit on it, and then he sat down beside her and took her in his arms and kissed her. They both knew why they had come here. They were grown-ups now. They didn't need permission, or have to tell lies. Not tonight at least. They were here because they loved each other, and needed something to take away with them.

“I don't want to do anything dumb,” he said as she nestled close to him, and he worried about her. It was the same worry he had had about her when he left for England. But things were just different enough now to warrant the risk, and in an odd way, this time he almost hoped he'd leave her pregnant. Maybe then she'd have to leave Desmond.

And as she lay down beside him, and felt his powerful arms around her, as he kissed her, she wished the same thing. But within moments, their future paled in comparison to their present. She felt hot flames shoot through her as they kissed, and within minutes, her silvery flesh shimmered next to his in the moonlight. It was a night that neither of them would ever forget, and they both knew it would have to sustain them for years, maybe forever.

“Cassie… I love you so much…” he whispered tenderly, holding her, feeling her body next to his in the warm night air. She was more beautiful than he'd ever dreamed as they lay with their clothes scattered in the dew around them. “I was such a fool.” He lay on his side, looking at her, carving each moment in memory. In the moonlight, she looked like a goddess.

“I was a fool too,” she whispered sleepily, but right now she didn't care, as long as she could lie in his arms and be near him. This was all she wanted. For this one moment in time, this was all that mattered.

“Maybe one of these days, well both get smart… or lucky,” he said, but he doubted it. It was all too complicated now. All they had was this. Tonight. In the silver moonlight.

They lay side by side for a long time, and they made love again just before sunrise. They had both fallen asleep, and awoke in each other's arms, aching for each other in the balmy morning. The sun came up, smiling down at them, and this time he watched her graceful limbs kissed not by silver, but by the golden light of sunrise. And afterward, they held each other close for a long time, wishing they could stay there forever.

When they flew back to her father's airport, the sky was streaked with pink and gold and mauve, and they both looked peaceful as they tied down the Jenny. She turned to him then with a long, slow smile. She didn't regret anything they'd done. This was their destiny.

“I love you, Nick,” she said happily.

“I'll always love you,” he answered, and then he walked her back to her parents’ house. They belonged to each other now. Theirs was a bond that could not be broken.

Her parents’ house was quiet as they stood outside. It was still early, and no one was up as Nick held her in his arms, and stroked her hair, trying not to think of the future, or Desmond Williams. They stood there for a long time, not wanting to leave each other as he kissed her again, and she told him again and again how much she loved him.

He left finally when he heard her parents get up and move around. They had no regrets. They needed each other's strength to go back to their lives, with all the terrors and challenges they would be facing.

“I'll see you before I go,” she promised him in a whisper, and then she pulled him close to her again, and kissed him on the lips with agonizing softness. He wondered how he would ever leave her again, or watch her go, especially knowing that she was going back to her husband.

“I can't let you go, Cass.”

“I know,” she said unhappily, “but we have to.” They had no choice now, and they knew it.

He left her then and she walked slowly into the room she'd lived in as a child, thinking of him, and wishing things were different.

She showered, and dressed, thinking of Nick, and then she had breakfast with her parents. And as Nick had seen earlier, she noticed that her father was having trouble breathing. But he insisted it was nothing. And as soon as they were finished eating, her father drove her and Billy to the airport. She promised to call her mother frequently before the tour, and maybe even to fly back once more if she could. But she wondered if Desmond would let her. Seeing her father look so pale made her think she ought to.

Nick was in the office when they arrived, and he looked at her long and hard as they said good-bye, and then he walked out to their plane with them, chatting idly with Billy. But every moment, Cassie could sense him close by, she could feel the satin of his flesh on hers, and their exquisite pleasure. The real bond they shared was time and love and caring, but with passion added to it, Cassie knew now that the flame of her love for him would burn forever.

‘Take it away, you two,” Nick admonished them, thinking of the tour again. “Watch out that she doesn't fly into a tree somewhere,” he warned Billy, and then shook his hand, while Cassie did their ground checks, and he watched her. Nick couldn't keep his eyes from her, and she loved feeling him near her.

She kissed her father then, while Billy settled in, and then there was no escaping it. It was time to say goodbye to Nick. Their eyes met and held, their hands touched, and then he pulled her into his arms and kissed her gently in front of the others. He didn't care anymore. He just wanted to be sure she knew he loved her.

‘Take care, Cass,” he whispered into her hair after he kissed her. “Don't do anything crazy on that tour of yours.” He still wished she wouldn't go but he knew he couldn't stop her.

“I love you,” she said softly, with eyes full of tears that told him everything she felt for him and mirrored everything he felt. “Let me know how you are sometime.” He nodded, and she stepped up into the cockpit as he squeezed her hand for the last time. It was almost impossible this time to leave each other. Pat was watching them, sorry for both of them. But he said nothing to reproach them.

Her father and Nick were still standing there as they taxied down the runway in the huge Williams Aircraft plane she'd borrowed from Desmond. Once off the ground, she dipped her wings at them, and then they were gone. Nick stood staring at the sky for a long time, long after Pat had walked back into the airport, long after her plane had left the sky. All he could think of now was lying beside her in the moonlight. And in a way, he was relieved that the next morning, he'd be going back to the war. He couldn't stand being here now without her.

She and Billy didn't talk much on the flight back to L.A. Her mother had given them a thermos of coffee, and some fried chicken. But neither of them was hungry. Her eyes told a thousand tales, but he didn't ask her any questions for the first two hours. And then, finally, he couldn't stand the silence any longer.

“How do you feel?” She knew what he was asking her, and she sighed before she answered.

“I don't know. I'm glad I saw him. At least he knows now.” She was filled with hope and despair all at once. It was hard to explain it to Billy. At least Nick knew about Desmond now, but in some ways their time together had only made it harder for her to go back to California.

“How did he take it?”

“As well as he could have. He was furious at first. He said a lot of things.” She hesitated and then looked at her friend grimly. “He thinks Desmond married me as a publicity stunt to make the tour more appealing to the public.”

“Is that what you think?” he asked pointedly, and she thought about it and hesitated. She didn't want to think that. “Sounds like sour grapes to me. Maybe it's hard for Nick to admit to himself that the guy really loves you.” But did he? He was so cool to her now, so involved in the tour, and nothing else about her. What if Nick was right, she wondered. It was hard to know, hard to see clearly, especially after the night she'd spent with Nick at the old airstrip. But she knew for certain that she had to put that out of her mind now. She wanted to be fair to Desmond. And she had to think of the tour. She could work the rest out later.

But thinking of the tour reminded her again of everything she owed Desmond. Nick wasn't being fair, and she didn't believe that Desmond had other women. He was completely driven by his work, he was obsessed with it. In a way, that was their biggest problem. That, and Nick Galvin. But she was returning to LA determined to play fairly. She wouldn't allow Nick to cast a shadow of doubt on their marriage.

But from the moment she returned, Desmond did everything Nick had predicted. All he did was talk about the press, and the Pacific tour. He didn't even ask about her weekend with her parents. And in spite of herself, she found herself suddenly suspicious of Desmond's coolness, and his constant love affair with photographers and newsreels. She questioned him about some interviews he had scheduled for her, balking at the necessity of it, and the tensions between them were instantly apparent.

“What exactly is it you're complaining about?” he snapped at her nastily at midnight on the day after she got back from her parents. She was exhausted from flying a twelve-hour day, followed by five hours of meetings. And he had ended her day with a bevy of reporters and photographers to take her picture.

“I'm just tired of falling over photographers every time I get out of bed, or climb out of the bathtub. They're everywhere, and I'm tired of it. Get rid of them,” she said pointedly, with a look of irritation.

“What is it that you're objecting to?” he said angrily. ‘the fact that you're the biggest name in the news, or that you've been on the cover of Life magazine twice this year? What exactly is your problem?”

“My problem is that I'm exhausted, and I'm tired of being treated like a show dog.” Nick's warnings were affecting her. And she realized that she was suspicious of Desmond. But she really was tired of reporters.

And Desmond very clearly didn't like being challenged. He was furious with her. After another hour of arguing pointlessly, he moved into the small guest room off his study. He spent the rest of the week sleeping and working there, claiming he had too much work to do to move back into their bedroom. But she knew he was punishing her for complaining. But in a way it was a relief, and it gave her time to sort out her own confusion. Being with Nick hadn't made things any easier, but she knew that part of that was her own fault.

Eventually, things calmed down again with Desmond. Tensions were high, and their nerves were raw because of the pressures of the tour, but he apologized to her for being “testy.” He tried to explain the value of the press to her again, and she decided that Nick was wrong about him. There was a certain truth to what Desmond was saying. Publicity was an important part of the Pacific tour, and he was right, there was no point accomplishing it in silence.

Desmond was a decent man, she knew. He just had very definite opinions. And he obviously knew what he was doing.

But in spite of their peace treaty over the press, some things didn't improve. For months now, they had had no love life whatsoever. More than once, she had wondered if there was something wrong with him, or with her, but she would never have dared to ask him. All he thought about was the tour. The budding passion of their honeymoon was long since forgotten. She knew that some of that had made her more vulnerable to Nick. But she also knew that her love for Nick was something Desmond had no part in. But her lack of physical relationship with Desmond made it hard for Cassie to feel close to him, and sometimes she wished she had someone to talk to. She thought of saying something to Nancy Firestone, but ever since her marriage to Desmond, Nancy had put a very definite distance between them. It was as though she felt uncomfortable being friendly with Cassie since she was the boss's wife now. But with no friends except Billy, and Desmond so cool, it made Cassie feel lonelier than ever.

In spite of whatever tensions existed, everything moved ahead on schedule. They were within a week of the tour, and they were ready.

Photographers followed her everywhere chronicling her last week before the trip, every action, every meeting, every movement. She felt as though she was spending her entire life smiling and waving. There was no privacy, no quiet time with Desmond. Everything was the Pacific tour, and the endless preparations for it. This was her only life now.

It was also getting very exciting for all of them. Cassie could hardly sleep anymore. And they were down to five days when Glynnis called her late one afternoon, and reached her at the airfield. Cassie was surprised to hear from her, and wondered if anything was wrong.

“Hi, Glynn… what's up?”

“It's Dad,” she answered quickly. She started to cry before she could say another word, and a vise of steel clutched Cassie's heart as she listened. “He had a heart attack this morning. He's in Mercy Hospital. Mom's with him.” Oh God… no… not her father.

“Is he going to be okay?” Cassie asked her oldest sister quickly.

“They don't know yet,” Glynnis said, in tears again.

“I'll come home as soon as I can. Tonight. I'll tell Desmond and start in a little while,” Without a moment's hesitation, Cassie knew she had to be there.

“Can you do that?” Glynnis sounded worried, but she knew she had to call her. They had told her at first that her father wasn't going to make it. But in the last hour he had stabilized, and they were cautiously hopeful. “When do you leave on the tour?”

“Not for five more days. I've got time, Glynn. I'm coming… I love you… tell Dad I love him… tell him to wait… not to go… please…” She was sobbing.

“I love you too, baby,” Glynnis said, in the strong voice of her older sister, “I'll see you later. Fly safely.”

‘Tell Mom I love her too.” They were both crying as she hung up the phone, and then she went to tell Billy what had happened, and that she was going home to see her father. Without hesitating for an instant, he said he'd go with her. They were inseparable these days, like Siamese twins. They had become like each other's shadows in the six months of training. Sometimes they even seemed to know what the other was thinking.

“I'll meet you back here in half an hour. Do me a favor. Gas up the Phaeton. I'm going to go tell Desmond.” But she knew he'd understand, Cassie thought. He knew how much her father meant to her.

But when she got to his office, she was in for a surprise.

“Of course you're not going,” he said coldly. “You've got five days of training and briefings left, two press conferences, and we have to plot the final course according to the weather.”

“I'll be back in two days,” she said quietly. She couldn't believe he was arguing with her about something this important.

“You will not,” he said firmly, as Miss Fitzpatrick slipped out of the room discreetly.

“Desmond, my father had a heart attack. He may not survive it.” Obviously, he didn't understand, Cassie thought. But he did. Perfectly.

“Let me make myself clear, Cass. You're not going. I am ordering you to stay here,” He sounded like an air marshal in a war. It was ridiculous. He was her husband. What was he talking about? She looked at him in confusion.

“You're what?” He repeated himself for her benefit and she stared at him. “My father may die, Desmond. I'm going home to him, whether you like it or not.” Something hardened in her eyes as she said it.

“Against my wishes, and not in one of my planes,” he said coldly.

“I'll steal one if I have to,” she said furiously. “I can't believe you're saying these things. You must be tired, or sick… what's wrong with you?” There were tears in her eyes, but he was immovable. The tour meant everything to him. More than her father. Who was this man she had married?

“Do you have any idea how much money is riding on this tour? Do you care?” he spat at her.

“Of course I care, and I wouldn't do anything to jeopardize it, but this is my father we're talking about. Look, I'll be back in two days. I promise.” She tried to calm down again, and remind herself that they were both under a lot of pressure.

“You're not going,” he repeated coldly. This was ridiculous. What was he trying to do to her? As she looked at him, she started to tremble.

“You have no choice!” she shouted at him, losing control finally. “I'm going! And Billy's coming with me.”

“I won't allow it.”

“What are you going to do?” She stared at him with new eyes suddenly. She had never seen him so heartless. He had never been cruel to her before. This was a new insight into Desmond. “Fire us both? Isn't it a little close to the trip, or do you think you can replace us?” She was not amused by his behavior.

“Anyone can be replaced. Eventually. And let me explain something to you, Cass, while we're on the subject. If you don't come back, I'll divorce you, and sue you for breach of contract. Is that clear? You have a contract with me for this tour, and I intend to hold you to it.” She couldn't believe what she was hearing. Who was he? If he meant what he was saying, the man was a monster.

Her mouth opened as she listened to him, but no sound came out. Nick had been right. All that mattered to him was the tour. He didn't care about her or her feelings, or the fact that her father was dying. He would have divorced her for canceling the tour. It was incredible. But so was everything he had just said to her.

She walked slowly to his desk, and looked at him, wondering if she even knew him. “I'll fly the tour for you. Because I want to. But after that, you and I are going to have a serious conversation.” He didn't answer her, and she turned around and walked out of his office. She was threatening the only thing in his life he cared about, his precious Pacific tour. But the real shock was that it meant more to him than their marriage.

She said not a word to Billy as she climbed into the plane, and she signed the plane out properly. She suddenly felt like an employee and nothing else. Her face was taut and angry as they took off, and Billy watched her. She had wanted to fly, so he didn't offer to take the controls. It kept her mind occupied while she tried not to worry about her father, but he could see that she did anyway. But she looked angry more than worried, and he wondered what had happened.

“What did he say?… about our going, I mean…”

“You mean Desmond?” she said icily and he nodded. “He said he'd divorce me if I didn't do the tour. And he'd sue me for breach of contract.” It had to sink in for a minute before Billy reacted.

“He said what? He was kidding obviously.”

“He was not kidding. He was deadly serious. If we cancel, he's going to sue the pants off us. Me, anyway. Apparently, the tour means a little more to him than I thought. This is the big time, Billy. Big investments, big money, big stakes, big penalties if we blow it. Maybe hell sue our families if we crack up his plane for him,” she said sarcastically, as Billy listened in amazement. She sounded angry and bitterly disappointed.

“But you're his wife, Cass.” He was confused by what she was saying.

“Apparently not,” she said miserably, “just an employee.” He had disappointed her terribly. But then again, families were not his forte. “I told him we'd be back in two days. We're in deep shit, kid, if we aren't.” She grinned at him. They were in it now, up to their ears, but at least they were together. She was grateful he had come with her. He was truly her only friend now.

“We'll be hack in time. Your dad'll) be fine.” He tried to reassure her.

But when they got to Mercy Hospital, Pat was any thing but fine. Three nuns and a nurse were standing at his bedside, and a priest had just given him the last rites. All of his children and grandchildren were there, and Oona was crying softly.

Cassie cleared the kids out first, she sent them outside with Billy. She knew he could manage them, he was like the pied piper with kids, and one of her brothers-in-law volunteered to go with him. And then she hugged her mother, and talked quietly to her sisters. Pat wasn't rallying, and he hadn't regained consciousness since Glynnis called her. The doctor came to talk to her a few minutes after that, and he said that he was doubtful now that Pat would make it.

Cassie couldn't believe what she was hearing, or what had happened to him. She had seen him only four weeks before, and he hadn't looked great, but she'd had no idea that he was this sick. Apparently, his heart had been giving him trouble for a while, but he ignored it, despite Oona's pleadings.

Cassie and her mother and all three of her sisters sat with him all night, and by morning there was still no improvement. And it was only late the following day that he regained consciousness, and smiled briefly at Oona. It was the first sign of hope they'd had, and two hours later, he opened his eyes again and squeezed Cassie's hand and told her he loved her. All she could think of then was how much she had loved him as a little girl, how good he had always been to her, and how much she had loved flying with him… she thought of a thousand things… a hundred special moments.

“Is he going to be okay?” she asked the doctor when he came by that afternoon, and he said it was still too soon to tell. But after another sleepless night for all of them, miraculously, the next morning, as the nuns kept silent vigil with them, saying their rosaries, he stabilized, and the doctor said he was going to make it. It was going to be a long haul, and he predicted two months of solid rest, most of it at home in bed, and after that, with any luck at all, he'd be a new man. But he'd have to take care of himself, not smoke so much, and cut out the whiskey and Oona's homemade ice cream. It was the greatest relief in Cassie's life as she stood crying in the hallway with her sisters. Her mother was still in the room with him, breaking the news to him about the ice cream.

“Who's going to run the airport?” Megan asked as they stood in the hallway. Pat had no assistant these days, and ever since Nick and Cass and Billy had been gone, all the responsibility had fallen on his shoulders. The doctor thought it had probably contributed to the problem. There was no one else around to help him handle the airport.

“Do you know anyone?” she asked Billy in an undertone. He had stood staunchly by them for two days, just as Chris would have. He was almost like their son now. But he didn't know anyone to help out either. A lot of the younger pilots who used to float around had volunteered for the RAF after Nick did.

“I'm stumped,” he said, as she looked at him. They were due back in L.A. that night. They were leaving on the Pacific tour in three days. As Billy looked at her, he read her mind, or he thought he did, but he couldn't believe she would do it. “You're not thinking what I think you're thinking… are you?”

“I might be.” She looked at him seriously. It was a big step. Particularly after what Desmond had said before they left. A very big step. A final one possibly. But the only one, as far as she was concerned. And if he wanted to divorce her for that, let him. This was her father.

“You don't have to stay with me though. You can go back so he doesn't get mad at you.” Things were going to get rough once she told him.

“I can't go without you,” he said calmly.

“Maybe he'll get someone else.” She was being naive, and Billy knew it, even if she didn't. After all the publicity she'd had for the past year, and all the careful orchestration, it would never have had the same impact without her, and Desmond knew that.

“What are you going to do?” Billy asked worriedly. He didn't want her to get hurt by her decision, but he also knew what her father meant to her, and what her priorities were. There was no doubt about what she was going to do, just about how she was going to do it.

“I'm going to call him and tell him to postpone it. He doesn't have to cancel it. Just postpone it. All I want is two months, three max, so Dad can get back on his feet, and I can stay here and run the airport.”

“I'll stay with you. Possibly permanently,” he grinned. “We may both be out of a job in about ten minutes.” But it was more than a job to her, he realized. For Cassie it was her marriage. But after Desmond's threats the day before, she wasn't sure if she had a marriage anymore, or if she'd ever had. Maybe Nick had been right about him all along, or maybe Desmond had just let the emotions of the moment get away from him, and by now he was sorry. Interestingly, he had not called Cassie once, at home, or at the hospital, since she'd left. She hadn't heard a thing from him in two days. And when she called him five minutes later from the hospital switchboard, Miss Fitzpatrick answered her with a tone of ice and went to get him.

He came on the line to her almost immediately, and she was sorry about the lack of privacy in the hospital lobby, but it couldn't be helped. She had to tell him as soon as possible, and she didn't want to go all the way to the airport to talk to him from her father's office.

“Where are you?” were his opening words.

“At the hospital in Good Hope. With my father.” As though he didn't remember. He did not ask her about his father-in-law, or how she was. For all he knew, her father was dead by then, but he didn't inquire about him. “Desmond, I'm sorry to have to do this.”

“Cassie, I'm not going to listen to what you're telling me,” he said in a tone of icy fury. “Remember what I said to you when you left, and remember that I meant it.” She paused only long enough to catch her breath, and remind herself that this was a man she had married four and a half months before. It was suddenly difficult to believe it. He was everything Nick had said he was, and wasn't.

“I remember everything you said perfectly,” she shouted at him across a poor connection. “And I seem to remember marrying you. Apparently, you've forgotten. There's more to life than world tours. I'm not just a machine, or a flyboy in a dress, or one of your employees. I'm a human being with a family and my father almost died two days ago. I'm not leaving him. I want you to postpone the tour for two or three months. I'll go in September or October. You figure out when. Make whatever adjustments you have to for the weather and the course. I'll do whatever you want. But I'm not going three days from now. They need me here. I'm not leaving.”

“You bitch,” he shouted at her, “you selfish little bitch! Do you know what I've put into this, not only in money, but in time and love and effort? You have no idea what this means to me, or to the country. All you're interested in is your own pathetic little tawdry life with your seamy little family, and your father's embarrassing little airport,” He spoke with utter contempt for her, and for them, and she couldn't believe what she was hearing. What a heartless bastard he was to even say things like that to her. It was almost impossible to believe it. And as she listened to him, she felt a physical pain as she realized that she and Desmond Williams had never had a marriage. She had just been a tool to get him what he wanted.

“I don't care what you call me, Desmond,” she shouted across the lobby, indifferent to who heard her anymore. “Postpone the trip, or cancel it. It's up to you. But I'm not going now. I'll fly anything you want in the fall, but I'm not going in three days. I'm staying with my father.”

“And Billy?” he asked furiously. He wanted to fire both of them, but he knew he couldn't.

“He's staying here with me, with my tawdry little family, at our embarrassing little airport. And I won't fly it for you next time, Desmond, without him. You've got us, if you want us. But later. Let me know what you decide. You know where to reach me.”

“I'll never forgive you for this, Cassie.”

“So I gather.” And then she couldn't help asking. “What exactly is it you're so angry about, Desmond, as long as I've agreed to do it later?”

‘The embarrassment, the postponement. Why should we have to put up with this childish garbage from you?”

“Because I could have gotten sick… because I'm human. That's it, why don't you just tell the press I'm sick or something.” She laughed shallowly, knowing that it was beyond impossible, at the moment. ‘tell them I'm pregnant.”

“You don't amuse me.”

“I'm sorry to hear that. I'm not finding you very amusing either. In fact, I'm finding you very disappointing. Call me, when you decide what you're doing. I'll be at the airport for the next two months. Call me anytime,” she said with tears in her eyes, and then hung up on him with a bang. She had wanted to tell him she was sorry for postponing the trip, but he had treated her so abominably that in the end she hadn't. She was sorry to have to postpone it, she knew it was hard on everyone involved, but she just couldn't let her father down now. He had always been there for her, and now she wanted to be there for him. But there were tears of anger and defeat in her eyes when she hung up the phone, and her hands were shaking. And as she put the receiver back in the cradle she happened to glance at the old nun who was running the switchboard. She was smiling at her, and she gave her a sign of victory from her seat at the switchboard.

“You tell em,” she growled. “America loves you, Cass. They can wait another two or three months. Good for you for staying with your father. God bless you.”

Cassie smiled gratefully at her, and went back to report to Billy.

“What did he say?” he asked anxiously.

“I'm not sure yet. I told him to postpone it, and said that we'd fly it for him in September or October. He called me a lot of rude names. I wouldn't exactly say he was pleased. And I told him you were staying here with me, and that I wouldn't fly the next one without you. It's a package deal.” Billy whistled at the courage she had shown, and he patted her shoulder. “But listen, if you want to go back, I understand. You can even fly it for him yourself if you want to.” There was a lot she needed to think about now. About the trip, about her marriage, about everything he had said to her, and the things he hadn't. He had exposed himself to her completely. There were not many illusions left. After four and a half months, their marriage was over. In reality anyway, but not in the papers.

What she hadn't counted on was Desmond arriving in Good Hope the next day, and bringing with him over a hundred reporters and two newsreel crews. He announced right from the steps of Mercy Hospital that due to circumstances beyond their control, the Pacific tour was being postponed until October. He explained that his father-in-law was critically ill, and Cassie couldn't leave him. She would be running her father's airport for him for two months, and then training again for the tour in September. He caught her completely by surprise and he proved once and for all that he was everything Nick had said he was. He was a total fake and a bastard. And through it all, he pretended to care deeply about her father.

But he hadn't even told her he was coming. He had just showed up at the hospital, asked for her, and when she came out to see him, looking surprised, she found him waiting with a lobby full of reporters. He had set up a full press conference on the hospital steps, without even warning her. And she looked haggard and exhausted and unprepared, which was exactly what he wanted. He wanted America to feel sorry for her, so they would forgive her for canceling the tour. But there was no question of it. They would forgive her anything. It was Desmond who wouldn't. She was so overcome, and so tired, and so emotional, and so angry at him, that she ended up crying when the reporters asked her about her father. It was exactly what Desmond wanted.

And when the press had left, he walked her outside and explained to her in no uncertain terms what he expected from her. She had exactly two months “leave,” as he put it, from the tour. On September 1, she was to come back to L.A. to train again and attend briefings, and on October 4 they would leave on the same course, with some slight adjustments for weather. Any variation from that plan, or any failure on her part to appear in Los Angeles, as agreed, would result in a lawsuit. And to be sure she understood perfectly, he had brought contracts with him for her and Billy to sign, and he reminded her that he was flying back the plane she had arrived in.

“Anything else? Would you like my underwear or my shoes? I think you paid for them too. I left my engagement ring in L.A., but you're certainly welcome to it, it's yours. You can have my wedding ring too.” She slipped it off her shaking hand, and held it out to him with trembling fingers. Everything that had happened in the past few days was a nightmare. And he looked at her now, totally devoid of emotion. He was a man who felt nothing for anyone, not even the girl he had married.

“I suggest you leave it on until after the tour, so as not to cause any gossip. You can dispose of it quietly after that, if you like. That's up to you,” he said coldly.

‘That's what this was all about then, wasn't it? It was all about a publicity stunt for the tour. America's sweetheart and the big tycoon. Why did you bother? And what happened to you? Why are you so willing to expose yourself now? Just because I postponed it? Is that such a sin? I know it's inconvenient, and expensive to change plans. But what if we'd had a problem with the plane… or I got sick… what if I did get pregnant?”

‘There was never any danger of that, I can't have children.” He hadn't told her that either. He had let her think that it was an option, that they would have them one day, when she was ready. She couldn't believe how totally he'd misled her, and how willing he was now to admit it. He had shown his hand to her completely. But he didn't care. All he wanted from her was the tour; he knew that he could sue her, and destroy her publicly if she didn't do it. The stupid thing was that she didn't care what he did to her. All she cared about was that he had lied to her. He had asked her to marry him, told her he loved her, pretended he cared about her. He didn't care about anything except his tour, and the planes he would sell as a result. And the publicity he would derive from organizing it from start to finish.

“What do you want from me?” She looked at him sadly.

“I want you to fly. That's all I ever wanted from you. I want you to fly. And I want everyone to fall in love with you. Whether or not I did was never important.”

“It was important to me,” she said with tears in her eyes. She had truly believed him.

“You're very young, Cassie,” he said quietly. “One day you'll be happy you did this.”

“You didn't have to marry me to make me fly the tour. I'd have done it anyway.”

“It wouldn't have had the same impact on the public,” he said without embarrassment. His marriage to her had been totally calculated. She wondered if he had ever cared for her for a single moment. She felt totally stupid now, gullible and used. It was embarrassing to think of their physical relations. Even their honeymoon had probably been a sham. And everything after that had been business anyway. He hadn't wasted much time on romance.

“You never took the tour seriously. Your postponing it now just proves that. I probably should have picked someone else, but you seemed so perfect.” He looked at her as though she had cheated him and she stared at him in amazement.

“I wish you had picked someone else,” she said, and meant it.

“It's too late now. For both of us. We have to go through with it. We've all gone too far now.”

“We certainly have.” She looked at him pointedly. Or at least he had.

He had nothing else to say to her, no apology, no regrets, no words of comfort. He just told her to be in LA. on schedule on September first, and she and Billy signed their contracts. Desmond drove back to the airport then, and an hour later he was gone. He had gotten what he'd come for, their sworn promise, and a round of publicity using Cassie again. By the following week, the entire country knew about her father's heart attack, they'd seen her cry, they sympathized completely. It only made the tour more exciting.

And at Mercy Hospital, her father was bombarded with flowers and gifts and get-well cards. They had to give them away to other patients, and then start taking the floral arrangements away in trucks, to other hospitals and churches. Cassie had never expected a response like that. But Desmond had. As usual, he had known exactly what he was doing.

He kept feeding them stories regularly, and gave interviews from L.A. about how hard Cassie was working, and what progress they had made on her plane. But interestingly, in August, one of the engineers discovered a potential flaw in one of the engines. They were doing wind tunnel trials at the California Institute of Technology when the engine burst into flame, and it caused untold damage to her airplane. It could be repaired, the press was told, but it had been providential that the tour had been delayed and she'd had to stay home with her father. The first Cassie heard of it was when she read the newspaper to Billy, and he whistled.

“Nice, huh? How would you have liked to be peeing on your number-one engine over the Pacific?” she said with a raised eyebrow.

“Give me enough beer, and I can do great things, Captain.” He grinned, and she laughed. But they were both concerned, and they spoke to the engineers several times over it. Everyone assured them that the problem had been taken care of.

It was a tough summer for her. She was still in shock over everything that had happened with Desmond. She thought of Nick a great deal, and she wanted to write to him, but she wasn't sure what to say now. In a funny way, it was hard admitting that Desmond was as bad as Nick thought he was. It made her sound so pathetic. In the end, she just wrote to him about her father, and said that the tour had been postponed, and that she'd always love him. She decided to tell him the rest later, the next time she saw him. She thought of volunteering for the RAF too, but she didn't want to think about that until after the Pacific tour. Maybe afterward, in November, she could fly over to see him. They hadn't heard from him in two months, though that wasn't unusual. The war in Europe was raging on and they could only assume he was safe since they hadn't been notified otherwise. She missed him constantly, and read everything she could about the air war in England.

Most of the fun had gone out of the tour for her. To be doing it under threat was very different from doing it for love, or as a shared project. But she knew it would be interesting anyway, and now all she wanted to do was get it over and done with. She could get on with her life then.

Her father made steady improvements after he went home. He lost some weight, he stopped smoking, and seldom drank, and he looked healthier and stronger day by day. And by the end of August, he came back to the airport. And he seemed better than ever. He was amazed at all that she and Billy had done, and grateful to him for staying with her. But it was his daughter who had won his heart, more than ever. She was a rare and marvelous girl, he said to everyone, she had postponed the Pacific tour just for him, as though they hadn't heard it. And she had told him nothing of her problems with Desmond. Nonetheless he had sensed long since that something was bothering her, and he wondered if it was Nick, or something else. It wasn't until the night before she left that she finally told him.

“Is it Nick that's bothering you, Cass?” He knew she was haunted by the man, and he was worried about how close they had obviously still been the last time she saw him. He was sorry things hadn't worked out for them. But she couldn't have waited for him indefinitely if Nick had told her not to. Pat had tried to tell him it was a mistake, setting her free like that, but young people never listen. Not that Nick was so young anymore. He was old enough to know a thing or two. But like most men, he was foolish when it came to women. “You can't pine for him, Cassie. Not married to another man,” She nodded, loath to tell him the truth. She was so ashamed of her own bad judgment. Desmond had taken her in completely.

‘There's something you're not telling me, Cassandra Maureen,” her father prodded her, and in the end, in spite of herself, she told him. And he was stunned at what she said. It was everything Nick had warned them of and predicted.

“He was right, Dad. Completely.”

“What arc you going to do now?” He wanted to kill the man. What a rotten trick to pull on a girl like her, to exploit her so totally for his own gain and glory.

“I don't know. Fly the tour, obviously. I really do owe him that. I wouldn't back out on him, though I don't think he knows that. Ill do it. And then”- she took a breath, there weren't many choices-” we'll get divorced, I guess. I'm sure somehow he'll make it look as though I did something terrible. He'll manipulate the press somehow to his advantage. He's much more complicated than I realized. And a whole lot meaner.”

“Will he give you anything?” her father wondered. He was a very rich man, and he could have paid her handsomely for her disappointment.

“I doubt it. I'll make my fee for the tour. He was going to reduce it because of the postponement, but he didn't. He considers that a major gift. I don't need more than that. I don't want anything from him. He's been generous enough.” And she could live for years on the career he had helped her achieve, that was payment enough. She wanted nothing more from Desmond.

“I'm sorry, Cassie. I'm so very sorry.” He was deeply distressed by what he'd heard from her, and they both agreed not to upset her mother.

“Just take care of yourself on the tour. That's all that's important now. You can sort the rest out later.”

“Maybe I'll fly bombers to England when I come back, like Jackie Cochran.” That June, she had copiloted a Lockheed Hudson bomber to England, proving once and for all that women could fly heavy airplanes.

“Oh be gone with you,” her father rolled his eyes with a groan, “flying bombers to England. You'll give me another heart attack. I swear, you'll make me rue the day I ever took you up in an airplane. Can't you do something ordinary for a while, like answer phones somewhere, or cook, or help your mother clean house?” But he was teasing her, and she knew it. He knew there was no hope of her giving up the skies now. “Fly safely, Cass,” he warned her before she left. “Be careful. Watch everything, with all your senses.” He knew she was good at that. He had never seen a better pilot.

And the next morning when she left, they all cried at seeing her go, and knowing the danger of the Pacific tour. And Cassie and Billy cried right along with them. Pat and another pilot flew them to Chicago, and Billy and Cassie flew back to California commercially from there. It was pleasant actually, for a change. The Skygirls made a big fuss over her, and she and Billy sat and talked about their month of training. It had been peaceful for them, hanging out together at the airport all summer, just like the old days, only better. They were older now. They had interesting days ahead. And in spite of Desmond, Cassie was getting excited about the tour.

“What are you going to do about a place to stay when you get back to Newport Beach?” Billy asked her quietly as they flew back.

“I haven't thought of that. I don't know… I can't stay at a hotel, I guess.” She suspected Desmond wouldn't like that, because of the scandal. But she couldn't imagine staying in his house with him after everything that had happened. He hadn't called her once in the past two months, and the only letters from him were from his lawyers or his office.

“You can stay with me, if you want. If anyone finds out, we can say it's for training. What do you think?” Billy offered.

“I think I'd like to,” she said honestly. She had nowhere else to go now.

She went home with him that night, with some clothes she'd brought from Illinois, and some flight overalls. And she went to work with him the next day, in his old jalopy. With all the money he made, Billy still hadn't bought himself a decent car, and he didn't plan to. He loved his old Model A, even though at least half the time it never started.

“For a guy who flies the best airplanes in the sky, how can you drive a car like this?” she asked at three-thirty in the morning.

“Easy,” he grinned. “I love it.”

They were hard at work by the time the sun came up, and they didn't finish until late that night. They were also scheduled for a practice night flight. Cassie didn't even see Desmond until the second day, and only then because she ran into him in a hangar near his office. She was surprised to see him there, but he was giving someone a tour, and he dropped by to see her afterward. He wanted to make sure she wasn't going to say anything inappropriate to the press. And he was no nicer to her than he had been the last time she saw him.

“Where exactly is it you're staying?” He had suspected she wouldn't come back to him, and he didn't really care, as long as she kept it quiet. He had packed up all her things and put them in storage in coded boxes in one of the hangars. The only thing he didn't want was for her to create a scandal. But he also knew her well enough to know she wouldn't. She had too much integrity, too much pride. She wanted to do the Pacific tour for him, and do it right. She had no desire to do anything to hurt him.

“I'm staying with Billy,” she said with a dignified look, wearing one of her old flight suits.

“Just be discreet about it,” he said coldly. But he knew better than anyone that at this point even a tiff reported by the press wouldn't really hurt them.

“Obviously. I don't think anyone even suspects that I'm staying at Billy's.” She had thought about calling Nancy Firestone before that, but Cassie had been embarrassed to ask to stay with her and Jane. They weren't close anymore, and Billy had invited her to stay at his place. The one thing she couldn't have done was stay at a hotel. That would have wound up instantly in the papers, unless Desmond was there with her, which of course he wasn't.

Oddly enough, she ran into Nancy Firestone later that day, right after she had run into Desmond. Nancy was leaving work, and Cassie was running out to grab something to eat for herself and Billy, before coming back for a night of meetings.

“It's getting close, isn't it?” Nancy said with a smile. Everyone at Williams Aircraft was counting the days and the minutes. And Cassie looked tired and strained as she smiled and nodded. Seeing Desmond at the end of a long day hadn't done anything to lift Cassie's spirits. He was so unkind to her, so cold, it was impossible to imagine that there had ever been anything more than business between them. But at least Nancy was warmer to her than she'd been in a long time, and it was good to see her.

“It's getting very close,” Cassie smiled. “How's Jane? I miss her. I haven't seen her in ages.”

“She's fine.” The two women stood looking at each other for a long moment, and Cassie suddenly realized that Nancy was looking at her strangely. She looked as though she wanted to say something to her, but she wasn't sure. And for an instant, Cassie wondered if she had ever done anything to offend her, if that was why Nancy had been so cool after Cassie had married Desmond. Or maybe she'd just felt awkward with Cassie's new position. The thought of it almost made Cassie smile. If that was what had bothered her, she could relax now.

“We should get together some time,” Cassie said warmly, trying to be friendly in memory of old times. It was Nancy who had made her feel at home when she'd first come to Los Angeles and was so lonely.

But Nancy only looked at her now, as though she couldn't believe what Cassie was saying. “You still don't get it, Cass, do you?”

“Get what?” Cassie felt like a fool, but she had too many other things on her mind to want to play guessing games with Nancy.

“He's not what you ever thought of him. Very few people know him as he is.” Cassie stiffened at the oblique mention of Desmond. She wasn't about to get lured into discussing him with Nancy. As far as anyone knew, he was still her husband.

“I don't know what you mean,” Cassie said coolly, looking the other woman over. And suddenly she realized that there was a great deal more here than she'd ever seen. There was anger, and jealousy, and envy. Was Nancy in love with him? Had she been jealous of Cassie? Cassie suddenly realized how naive she'd been, about all of them. It seemed as though none of them had been what they'd pretended.

“I don't think we should be talking about Desmond,” Cassie said quietly. “Unless you'd like to discuss it with him directly.”

‘That's a possibility,” Nancy said with a supercilious smile. “I knew he wouldn't stay with you for long. It was all for show. Too bad you never figured that out, Cass.” But what did she know about all of it? What had Desmond told her?

Cassie blushed as she shrugged a shoulder. “It's a little complicated for me, I guess. Where I come from, people usually get married for other reasons.”

“I'm sure he was taken with you. And you might even have hung onto him if you'd played your cards right. But he doesn't like to play with kids. More than anything, Cass, I think you bored him.” And then, as Cassie looked at her, she understood what she was saying. She understood all of it, and how vicious they had been to her, how rotten.

“And you don't, Nancy? Is that it?”

“It would appear not. But then again, I'm a little more mature. I play the game better than you do.”

“And what game is that?” Cassie wanted to know now.

“It's a game of doing exactly what he wants, when he wants it, and exactly the way he wants it.” To Cassie it sounded like a service business and not a marriage.

“Is that your contract with him? Is that how you got your house, and the college education for Janie? I always thought he was so generous. But I guess maybe there's more to it than meets the eye.” This was exactly what Nick had meant. Desmond Williams had mistresses, whom he paid handsomely to be on call for him, and do whatever he wanted. For Nancy, it had meant chaperoning Cassie around. And suddenly Cassie realized how much it must have irked her. In a way, if it hadn't been so disgusting, it might almost have been funny.

“Desmond is very generous with me. But I don't have any illusions about him,” Nancy said coldly, looking right at Cassie. “He's never going to many me. He's never going to get involved with me in public. But he knows I'm here for him. And he's good to me. It works out very well for both of us.” But suddenly, listening to the cold simplicity of it, the calculated emptiness that allegedly met his needs, Cassie wanted to reach out and slap her:

“Was he with you when he was married to me?” Cassie asked in a strangled voice, terrified by the conversation.

“Obviously. Where do you think he went at night when he wasn't working? And why do you think he wasn't sleeping with you? I told you, Cassie, he doesn't like playing games with children. And he's not as evil as you think. He didn't think there was any point sleeping with you, or misleading you more than he had to. Everything was for the tour. In some ways, Desmond is a purist.”

‘The bastard.” The words escaped Cassie without any thought on her part. But as she looked at Nancy, she suddenly hated her. And him. It had all been a game. For both of them. It was all part of the Pacific tour, and the grander scheme of things, all to sell airplanes.

Marrying her had been just one small part of the plan, for publicity, and all the while he'd been sleeping with Nancy. No wonder Nancy had been so cool to her once they married. And maybe, for a little while, Nancy had even been worried. She was ten years older than Cassie, and not nearly as exciting, or as pretty.

“Weren't you just a little bit afraid he might fall for me?” Cassie eyed her carefully, and was pleased to see the older woman squirm at the question.

“Not really. We talked about it. You're really not his type, Cass.”

“Actually, given everything I know, I'd say that's a compliment.” Cassie looked at her coolly. And then she decided to deliver a small blow to the opponent. “You're not alone, you know. You're not the only one with an arrangement with Desmond.” She said it very confidently, and it was easy to see that she had made Nancy more than a little nervous. Her livelihood and her future depended on her “arrangement” with Desmond.

“What's that supposed to mean?”

‘There are others like you… with houses… with contracts… with arrangements… Desmond's not a man to be satisfied with one woman.” Cassie was rewarded with a look of terror.

‘That's ridiculous. Who told you that?”

“Someone who knows. He told me that there are quite a number of others. You know, kind of like a little competition.”

“I don't believe you.” But her words reeked of bravado.

“I didn't believe any of it, Nancy. I do now though. Nice to see you,” she smiled. “Say hello to Desmond.” And with that, she hurried back into the building. She didn't want anything to eat anymore. Nancy Firestone had ruined her appetite. She felt sick when she went back to find Billy in the hangar.

“Where's my dinner?” They both had to be in a meeting in less than half an hour, and he was starving.

“I ate it on the way back,” she quipped, but she was looking deathly pale. He noticed it immediately and was worried.

“You okay, Cass? You look like you've seen a ghost. Did someone call about your dad?”

“No, he's okay. I talked to my mother this morning.”

“So what happened?” She hesitated for a long moment, and then sat down in a chair, and told him about Nancy Firestone, and everything she'd told her.

‘That sonofabitch,” he commented through tightened lips. “He really plays quite a game, doesn't he? Too bad he has to go around ruining other people's lives. It would be nice if he stuck to his own kind.”

“I guess he does, at least some of the time.” Nancy Firestone had certainly not been the friend she'd thought her. “All I want to do after the tour is leave LA, and go home for a while. I think I've about done it here. This is a little racy for me.” She looked drained as she looked up at him and he nodded. He felt sorry for her, she didn't deserve this.

And for Cassie, it explained why they never made love anymore and why he'd never had any real interest in her after the honeymoon. He had just gone on seeing Nancy, and God only knew who else. Maybe she was lucky he hadn't bothered spending time in bed with her. Maybe she'd have felt worse now if they had. She suspected she would have. What she felt now was betrayed, and more than a little foolish. The worst part was that she had really believed him. The bastard.

“So what do we do now?” Billy asked, worried about her. He kept wondering if, because of Desmond's betrayal of her, she would throw in the towel, with or without a contract. But she didn't do things that way. She had every intention of finishing what she'd started. And Billy admired her for it.

“We finish the race, kid. That's what we came here for. The rest was all icing on the cake anyway.” And (or Cassie, for a while now, the cake had been poisoned. But nobody had ever called Cassie O'Malley a quitter.

“Good girl.” Billy gave her a hug, and took her out for a quick dinner. But she hardly touched it.

There was a press conference every week after that, and Desmond made a point of being friendly to her publicly. There was lots of bantering, some funny little stories about her, and a small show of affection. It was all very touching, if you didn't know what was really happening. And it was surprisingly believable, to anyone who didn't know them.

Cassie seemed more serious than previously, but that was easily explained by the pressures of the upcoming tour. She had an important task set before her. She was training hard, and Desmond reminded the press frequently that she had spent the entire summer taking care of her father.

“How's your dad, Cass?” one of the reporters asked her.

“He's doing great.” And then she thanked America for their gifts and cards and letters. “It really helped him. He's flying again, with a co-pilot now,” she said proudly. They ate it up. Just the way they ate everything Desmond had fed them. She knew the game now. And Billy marveled at how good at it she was when he watched her.

“You okay?” he asked her in an undertone after one of their press conferences. Desmond had been particularly nice to her, and Billy could see afterward that he had really upset her.

“Yeah. I'm okay,” she said, but he knew how hurt she was. And how betrayed she felt. She hated the hypocrisy of it, the pure sham of it. She had nightmares at night. And once from the next room, where he slept, he heard her crying.

She never saw Desmond alone again, until the night before the Pacific tour. There had been a huge press conference that afternoon, and she and Billy had gone out for a quiet dinner at her favorite Mexican restaurant afterward.

When they got back, Desmond was waiting for them. He was sitting in his parked car, and when he got out, he let Billy know he wanted to talk to Cassie.

“I just wanted to wish you luck tomorrow. I'll see you there before you take off, but I wanted you to know that… well, I'm sorry things didn't really work out the way we planned.” He was trying to be magnanimous, but the way he did it made her very angry.

“What exactly did you plan? I was planning to have a life, and a husband and children.” He was planning to have a world tour, and a mistress, and a cardboard wife he'd drag out for newsreels.

‘Then you should have married someone else, I guess. I was looking for a partnership. And not much more than that. This was business. But isn't that what marriage is, Cassie?” He tried to make it sound as though things just hadn't worked out, and not as though he had lied to her about everything, including being sterile. She could have lived with that, she could have lived with a lot of things, if he'd been honest with her. But they both knew he never had been.

“I don't think you have any idea what marriage is, Desmond.”

“Maybe not,” he said without embarrassment. ‘to tell you the truth, it's not something I've ever really wanted.”

“So why bother? I would have flown this for you, without all the nonsense, the lies… the wedding… You didn't have to go that far. You used me,” she said, relieved that she had finally had a chance to say it.

“We used each other. You're going to be the biggest star in aviation there ever was two months from now. And I put you there. In one of my planes. It's a wash, Cass. We're even.” He seemed pleased with himself. It was all he wanted. She meant nothing to him. She never had. That was the hard part.

“Congratulations. I hope you enjoy it as much as you thought you would.”

“I will.” He was sure of it. “And so will you. And so will Billy. We all win on this one.”

“If everything goes right. You're assuming an awful lot,” she said cautiously.

“I have a right to. You're flying a remarkable plane, and you're a great pilot. It doesn't take more than that. Except Lady Luck, and some fine weather.” He looked at her long and hard, willing her to do right by him, but offering her nothing in return except glory and money. Love wasn't part of his scheme of things. He didn't have it in him. “Good luck, Cass,” he said quietly.

‘Thanks,” she said, and walked upstairs to Billy's apartment.

“What did he want?” Billy asked suspiciously. He was worried that Desmond might have said something to upset Cassie.

“Just to wish us luck, I guess. In his own way. There's no one in there… I finally figured that out… the man's completely empty.” It was truer than she knew. There was no soul to Desmond Williams. Only greed and calculation, and an unfailing passion (or airplanes, never people. She was just a tool, no different from a wrench to tune the engine. She was a vehicle to success, nothing more, a cog in one of his machines, and in fact, a very small one. He was the puppeteer, the designer, the spirit behind it. In his eyes, she was nothing.