Wings

6

The class of 1937 walked slowly down the aisle of the auditorium of Thomas Jefferson School, the boys and the girls hand in hand, two by two, the girls carrying bouquets of daisies. The girls looked so lovely and pure, the boys so young and hopeful. Watching them, Pat was reminded of the boys who had flown in the war for him. They had been the same age, and so many of them had died, and to him they had all looked like children.

Together, the entire class sang the school song for the last time, and the girls all cried, as did their mothers. Even their fathers had tears in their eyes as the diplomas were handed out, and then suddenly, the ceremony was over and there was pandemonium. Three hundred kids had graduated and would go on to their lives, most of them to get married, and have babies. Only forty-one of a class of three hundred and fourteen were going on to college. Of the forty-one, all but one were going to the state university at Macomb, and only three of these were women. And of course one of them was Cassie, who was the only student going as far as Peoria, to attend Bradley. It would be a long haul every day, well over an hour each way in her father's old truck, but she was convinced it was worth it, just for the chance to take the aeronautics courses they offered, and some engineering.

Cassie had had to fight tooth and nail for it. Her father thought it was a waste of time, and she'd be a lot better off married to Bobby Strong. He was furious with her for turning him down, and he only backed off because Oona had insisted to him quietly that she was sure they would get married eventually, if they didn't push her. Cassie just needed time. It was Oona who had prevailed on him, and talked Pat into letting her go on to college. It certainly couldn't do any harm, and she had agreed to compromise and major in English, not engineering. If she graduated, she'd get a teaching degree, but she had still applied for a minor in aeronautics. No woman had ever applied for the course, and she had been told that she'd have to wait to see if the professor felt she was eligible for the class. But she was going to talk to him as soon as she got to school in September.

There was a reception at the high school after graduation, and of course Cassie had already gone to her senior prom with Bobby. He had seemed to accept his fate for the past six months, but the night they graduated, he talked to her about it again, just in case she'd changed her mind, and had second thoughts about college.

“No, I haven't,” she said with a gentle smile. He was so faithful to her, and so earnest, that sometimes he made her feel very guilty. But she had made a commitment to other things, and she didn't want to lose sight of them now, no matter how sweet he was, or how kind, or how guilty he made her feel, or how much her father liked him.

He left early that night, his grandmother was in town, and he had to go home and visit with her. Pat growled at Cassie after Bobby left. She was still wearing the white dress she had worn under her black gown, and she looked very pretty.

“You'll be a damn fool, Cassie O'Malley, if you let that boy slip through your fingers.”

“He won't, Dad.” It was the only thing she could think of to say to him. It sounded conceited, but it was better than saying she didn't care, which would really have enraged him. And the truth was, she did care. There were times when she thought she really loved him, especially when he kissed her.

“Don't be so sure,” her father railed at her. “No man can be expected to wait forever. But maybe once you have your teaching degree, you won't care. Maybe you have it in mind to become an old maid schoolteacher. Now there's something to wish for.” He was still annoyed with her about this business of going to college. Instead of being proud of her, as the other two girls' fathers were, he thought it was foolish. But Nick was pleased for her that she was going. He had realized long since how bright she was, and how capable, and it didn't seem fair, even to him, to just push her into getting married and having babies. He was relieved too that she hadn't decided to marry Bobby Strong fresh out of school. That would have changed everything, and he couldn't have borne it. He knew that eventually things would have to change, but at least for now their sacred Saturdays were safe, and they would still have their precious hours of flying.

Cassie sat by the radio that night after everyone had “left. She had been dying to do that all afternoon, but she knew how much it would have annoyed her father. Amelia Earhart had taken off from Miami that afternoon, with Fred Noonan, in a twin-engine Lockheed Electra. She was flying around the world, and the expedition had been highly publicized by her husband, George Putnam. Her trip had been oddly plotted because of the threat of war, and there were areas she clearly had to avoid. They had chosen the longest route around the world at the equator, and the most dangerous, overisolated, and underdeveloped countries, which offered few airfields and fewer opportunities for fuel. She had not set an easy task for herself, and Cassie was enthralled with all of it. Like many other girls her age, and half the world, Cassie was in love with the courage and excitement of Amelia Earhart.

“What are you doing, sweetheart?” her mother asked as she wandered past her into the kitchen. It had been an emotional day for her, and she thought Cassie looked tired too.

“Just listening to see if there's any news about Amelia Eariiart.”

“Not at this hour,” her mother smiled. “There will be plenty of it in the news tomorrow. She's a brave girl.” She was more than a girl obviously, she was a month shy of forty, which to Cassie seemed fairly ancient. But in spite of that she was still exciting.

“She's lucky,” Cassie said softly, wishing she could do something just like Earhart was doing. She would have liked nothing better than to tour the world, setting records, and flying incredible distances over strange lands and uncharted waters. It didn't frighten her at all, all it did was excite her.

And she said as much to Nick the next day, after they'd flown turns around a marker over their secret airstrip.

“You're as crazy as she is,” he said, dismissing Ear-hart's folly with a casual wave. “She's not the great pilot Putnam sets her up to be. She's crashed more than half the women who fly, and ID bet you a dollar that in that Electra of hers she overshoots every runway. It's a heavy machine, Cass, and it's got the heaviest Wasp engine Lockheed would give it. That's more than a handful for a woman of her size and build. This trip is just a stunt to make her the first woman to fly around the world. It's been done by men, and it's not going to do anything to advance aviation, only to advance Amelia Eaihart.” He seemed unimpressed, but Cassie was undaunted.

“Don't be a jerk, Nick. You're just mad because she's a woman.”

“I'm not. If you told me Jackie Cochran was doing this, I'd say great. I just don't think Earhart has the stuff to do it. And I talked to a guy in Chicago who knows her, and he says she wasn't ready, and neither was the plane. But Putnam wants to squeeze all the publicity he can out of it. I feel sorry for her actually. I think she's being used. And I think she's being pushed into some lousy decisions.”

“Sounds like sour grapes, Nick,” Cassie teased, as they shared a Coca-Cola. Their flights together had become a beloved ritual neither of them would have missed for anything in the world. They had been going on for exactly a year now. “You'll eat your words when she breaks all records,” Cassie said confidently as he shook his head.

“Don't hold your breath.” And then he smiled at her, his eyes crinkling in the corners, as they did when he was staring into the sun when he was flying. “I'd rather put my money on you in a few years.” He was playing with her, but he also meant it.

“Yeah, sure. And my father will be taking the bets, right?” They still hadn't figured out how to tell him about Cassie's flying, let alone that Nick thought Cassie was one of the best pilots he knew. But he had promised her that one of these days, when the time was right, they would do it.

The Peoria Air Show was in two weeks, and he was working with Chris, who was as steady as ever, and as uninterested as he had always been. He was entering the air show only to please his father. He was going to try and set an altitude record, though he didn't think he really could. Stunts were not his strong suit, and the hotshot flying still scared him. But they had strengthened the structure of Nick's Bellanca, and put a turbo supercharger on the engine to increase its power.

“I wish I could fly in it too,” Cassie said longingly, and Nick wished the same thing right along with her.

“So do I. Next year,” he promised her, and when he said it, he meant it.

“Do you really think I could?” She looked overwhelmed with excitement. Though it was a year away, it was something to look forward to, even more than college.

“I don't see any reason why not, Cass. You fly better than any of the guys there. It would make quite an impression, dazzle 'em a little bit. Believe me, they need it.”

“There are some pretty good guys at the air show,” Cassie said respectfully. She had seen some great flying over the years, but she also knew that she could fly as well as, or better than, most of those men now. Cassie had seen some terrible tragedies over the years too. It was not unusual to have fatalities at the air show. Oona had finally forced Pat to give it up, because flying stunts at the air show was just too dangerous. But he loved to see it.

“Want to take me back up and give me some cheap thrills?” Nick asked after their lunch. Sometimes they went back up for another spin, if the weather was good and they had time, as they did that afternoon. “You could use a little work on your takeoffs and landings in crosswinds.” They had also been working on takeoffs with power cutbacks.

“The hell I do. My landings are better than yours are,” she disagreed with a grin.

“Don't be so modest.” He ruffled her hair, and let her sit behind him this time, and as usual, she didn't disappoint him. She was fabulous. It was as simple as that. And he was sorry all over again that he couldn't put her in this year's air show.

But two days before the air show, Cassie was sitting glued to her radio, unable to believe what she was hearing. Amelia Earhart had gone down, somewhere near Howland Island in the South Pacific. It seemed incredible to her, and to everyone else who heard the news. All except her father, who repeated constantly for everyone to hear that women belonged in the kitchen, and not in planes, except maybe as Skygirls, and even that didn't seem suitable to him. But Cassie was reminded of what Nick had said too, that Earhart wasn't good at handling heavy planes, and there were several people who knew her well who said she hadn't been ready. It seemed like a terrible tragedy, and the government cooperated immediately with the search for her. But on the day of the air show, two days later, they still hadn't found her.

It dampened Cassie's spirits terribly, as she watched all the trick flying and the stunts at the air show.

“Cheer up.” She heard a familiar voice behind her. “Don't look so gloomy.” It was Nick. He had a hot dog in one hand, and a beer in the other, and he was wearing a paper Fourth of July hat. The air shows were always festive.

“I'm sorry,” she apologized with a tired smile. She had been up for two days, listening (or reports of Amelia Earhart. But there were none. Nothing at all had been found. She had totally vanished. “I was just thinking about…”

“I know what you were thinking about. The same thing you've been thinking about since she took off. But it's not going to do you any good, getting sick over her. Remember, I told you a long time ago. There are chances we all take. We all know it. We accept them. So did she. She was doing what she wanted.” He offered her a bite of his hot dog, and she took it, looking pensive. Maybe he was right. Maybe she had a right to die that way. Maybe if she'd been given a choice of a ripe old age in a rocking chair, and a quick exit in a Lockheed, she would have preferred this. But Cassie still hated to think of her going down. It was the death of a legend.

“Maybe you're right,” Cassie said quietly. “It just seems so sad.”

“It is sad,” he agreed. “No one ever said it wasn't. It's sad when anyone goes down. But it's a risk we all take, and some of us love. You too.” He put a hand under her chin and reminded her silently of how much she loved to fly and how willing she was to take chances. “You would do the same thing, given half a chance, you little fool. You ever try to go on one of those damn world tours, and I'll set fire to your plane. Count on it.”

“Thanks.” She grinned up at him, and then he tugged at her arm in excitement.

“Hey… take a look at this… there goes Chris… come on… come on… head up there…” He was heading for an altitude trophy in Nick's plane, and he almost disappeared as they watched him. He had good steady hands, and a seriousness that made him perfect for this kind of competition. He had none of Cassie's excitement or sheer grit; all he really had was endurance. And when he landed, Nick was amazed by how far he'd gone. They hurried over to where Pit and Oona and some of Cassie's sisters were standing with their children. Glynnis and Megan were both hugely pregnant again, and Colleen had been looking a little green around the gills of late, which had made Oona suspect she was pregnant again too, but hadn't yet said it. They were a prolific group. This would be the fourth for Megan and Colleen, the fifth for Glynnis.

“Good thing too,” Cassie whispered under her breath as she chatted with Nick, “if I'm never going to have any. They can have all the kids they want, as far as I'm concerned.” Lately she had begun to think she never wanted a husband or children.

“You'll have kids too, don't kid yourself. Why shouldn't you?” Nick never believed her when she said she'd never marry or have children. She didn't really believe it herself. But she knew she didn't want any of that for a long, long time, if ever. All she wanted was airplanes.

“What makes you so sure I'll have kids, Nick?” she challenged him.

“Because you come from a family that multiply like rabbits.”

“Oh thanks a lot.” She was still laughing when Bobby Strong found her, and glanced at Nick awkwardly. He always had the feeling that Nick didn't like him. Moments later, having said very little to either of them, Nick went off to hang out with the other pilots.

Half an hour later, they announced that Chris had won a prize for setting the altitude record. And her father was beside himself with excitement. He went off to find Chris, and Oona went to find drinks with the girls, and the younger children. Bobby stood watching the show with her, as tiny red and blue and silver planes did stunts and rolls, and lazy spins in the air, crazy eights, and double eights, and a few tricks Cassie had never heard of. Just watching them took your breath away, and more than once the crowd gasped as disaster seemed imminent, and then cheered when there was a last minute save. She was used to it, but it was always exciting.

“What were you thinking just then?” Bobby had begun watching her face. It had been filled with light and an expression of total rapture as she watched a plane do an outside loop; it was a stunt Jimmy Doolittle had invented ten years before, and it really impressed her. The pilot then finished with a flourish by doing a low-level inverted pass, away from the crowd, so no one was endangered. Bobby watched the look on her face with fascination. And then she turned and smiled at him, almost sadly.

“I was thinking that I wish I were up there doing that,” she said honestly. “It looks like so much fun.” All she wanted was to be one of them.

“I think I'd get sick,” he said with equal honesty, and she grinned at him, as a vendor wandered by with cotton candy.

“You probably would. I almost have a couple of times.” She had almost spilled the beans then, and had to remind herself to be careful. “Negative G's will do it to you. You get those in a stall, just before you recover. It feels like your stomach is going to fly right out of your mouth… but it doesn't.” She grinned.

“I don't know how you can like all this, Cass. It scares me to death.” He looked handsome and blond and very young as he stood admiring her, and she was growing, day by day, to be more of a woman.

“It's in my bones, I guess.”

He nodded, worried that that was true. “That's too bad about Amelia Earhart.”

She nodded too. “Yes, it is. Nick says that all pilots accept those possibilities. It can happen to anyone.” She looked up at the sky. “Anyone here too. I guess they figure it's worth it.”

“Nothing's worth risking your life,” Bobby disagreed with her, “unless you have to, like in a war, or to save someone you love.”

“That's the trouble”- Cassie looked at him with a sad smile-” most pilots would risk anything to fly. But other people don't understand that.”

“Maybe that's why women shouldn't, Cass,” he said quietly and she sighed.

“You sound like my father.”

“Maybe you should listen to him.”

She wanted to say “I can't,” but she knew she couldn't say that to him. She could only say that to Nick. He was the only human being who knew the whole truth about her, and accepted it. No one else really knew her. Especially not Bobby.

She saw Chris walking toward them then, and she ran to him. He was carrying his medal, his face was glowing with pride, and Pat was walking on air right behind him.

“First medal at seventeen!” he was telling anyone who would listen. “That's my man!” He was handing out beers, and slapping everyone on the back, including Chris and Bobby. Chris was basking in his father's love and approval. Cassie was watching them, fascinated by how desperate her father was for Chris's success in the air, yet at the same time how adamant he was that she never get there. She was ten times the flier Chris was, or better still, but her father would never acknowledge it, or even know it.

Nick came over to shake hands with Chris, and the boy was elated by his victory, and then he went off with Nick to meet some of the other pilots. It was an exciting day for him, and a day Pat O'Malley had waited fifty-one years for. And as far as he was concerned, this was only the beginning. Instead of seeing that this was the top of Chris's skill, he wanted more. He was already talking about next year, and Cassie felt sorry for Chris then. She knew how much their father meant to him, and that no matter what it cost him, he would do anything to please him.

The O'Malley clan were in high spirits. They were almost the last ones to leave, and Bobby went home with them for dinner. Nick went out to celebrate with his flying friends, and he looked pretty well oiled by the time he left the field. But he knew Chris was flying the Bellanca back to O'Malley Airport, and he could hop a ride in Pat's truck, so he didn't have to worry about flying or driving.

Oona had cooked platters of fried chicken for them in the morning before they left, and there was com on the cob, and salad and baked potatoes. There was a ham too, and she had baked blueberry pie and made ice cream once back at the house. It was a real feast, and Pat poured Chris a full glass of Irish whiskey.

“Drink up, lad, you're the next ace in this family!” Chris struggled with the drink, and Cassie watched them, feeling sad. She felt left out somehow. She should have been flying with them, and basking in her father's praise, and she knew she couldn't. She wondered if she ever would. But the only fate that seemed open to her was that of her sisters, having another baby every year, and condemned to their kitchens. It seemed a terrible life to her, although she loved them all, and her mother, but she would have rather died than spend her life the way they had.

Cassie noticed too that Bobby was very sweet to all of them. He was kind to her sisters, and adorable to all their children. He was a gentle man, and he would make a wonderful husband. Her mother pointed it out to her again when she was helping clean up in the kitchen. And afterward, she and Bobby went for a long walk, and he surprised her when he talked to her about flying.

“I was watching you a lot today, Cass, and I know what all that means to you. And you may think I'm crazy, but I want you to promise me you'll never do any of that crazy stuff. I really don't want you to fly. It's not that I don't want you to have fun. But I don't want you to get hurt. You know… like Amelia Earhart.” It seemed reasonable to him, and she was touched, but Cassie laughed nervously. The idea of promising anyone that she wouldn't fly made her shudder.

“I'm not going to fly around the world, if that's what you're worried about,” she said with an anxious smile. But he shook his head, he meant a lot more than that, and she knew it.

“That's not what I mean. I mean I don't want you flying at all.” He had only seen a glimmer of how dangerous it was, but watching the stunts at the air show had convinced him. There was no question that there were risks in flying, and two years before there had been a terrible tragedy at the same air show. Bobby was no fool, and he knew the magic it held for her. Simply put, he didn't want to lose her. “I don't want you learning to fly, Cass. I know you want to. But it's just too dangerous. Your father is right. And it's much too dangerous for a woman.”

“I don't think that's a reasonable thing to ask,” she said quietly. She didn't want to lie to him, but she also didn't want to tell him that she'd been flying regularly with Nick for over a year now. “I think you have to trust my judgment on that.”

“I want you to promise me you won't fly,” he said, showing a strength and stubbornness she had never seen before. She was impressed, but she wasn't going to promise.

“That's unreasonable. You know how much I love to fly”

“That's why I'm asking you to promise, Cass. I think you would be just the one to take chances.”

“Believe me, I wouldn't. I'm careful… and I'm good… that is, I would be. Look, Bobby, please… don't do this…”

“Then I want you to think about it. This is very important to me.” So is flying to me, she wanted to scream. It was the only thing she cared about, and now he wanted to take it from her. What was wrong with all of them? Bobby, her father, even Chris. Why did they want to take something away from her that she loved so much? Only Nick understood. He was the only one who knew, and cared how she felt about it.

Though at that exact moment, Nick Calvin was passed out cold in the arms of a girl he had met at the air show. She had bright red hair, and brightly painted lips, and as he nestled close to her, he smiled and whispered, “Cassie.”