Wings

14

The Peoria Air Show was the same wonderful circus that Cassie remembered it to be. She had never been happier than when she stood there with Billy and her father. Her mother and the other girls were off somewhere with the children. And Chris was pacing back and forth nervously eating hot dogs.

“You're making me sick,” Cassie scolded him, and he grinned and bought some cotton candy.

All of their old friends were there, her father's cronies, and the younger flyboys. Most of the flying fanatics from miles around had come to visit the day before, at her father's insistence. The Peoria Air Show was an important event in aviation. There were even a couple of girls this year, in one of the tamer events. And Chris was going for his usual prize for altitude in the last race of the afternoon. It wasn't much of a showstopper, but they both knew it would please their father.

“Don't you want to try something, Sis? Dad could lend you a plane.” The one she had flown east in was far too big, and far too clumsy. And also worth far too much money. And it was Desmond's. She had tested it for him right after she had gone to work for him, and they had only recently perfected her recommended changes. For a girl of twenty-one, she had a remarkably important job; everyone here knew how famous she was now and there was a lot of talk about her being there. At Desmond's suggestion, the wire services had shown up in full force to greet her.

But Cassie was quick to tell her brother she wasn't going to be in the air show. “I'm not good enough anymore. I've been flying these boats all year long, Chris. Besides, I haven't practiced.”

“Neither have I,” he said with a grin. At twenty, he looked exactly like their father. He was doing well in school, and still intent on becoming an architect, if he could get a scholarship at the University of Illinois in another year or two. And for the moment, he spent every spare waking moment with Jessie. They were adorable and Pat said he wouldn't be surprised if they got married.

Billy looked no older than Chris did. He seemed to have even more freckles this year, but it was obvious from his performance in the first two races that, unlike her brother, he had practiced. He won first prize twice, and another one half an hour later, in three of the most difficult competitions.

“What have you been doing, practicing all year? Boy, you guys get a lot of time to fool around,” she teased with an arm around him, as a photographer from the wire service snapped their picture. Cassie was careful to give them Billy's name and spell it correctly, and to remind him that Billy had taken first prize three times so far that morning.

“And the day's not over yet,” he quipped with a wink at Cassie.

“What about you, Miss O'Malley?” one of the reporters asked her. “No performance today?”

“I'm afraid not. Today is my brother's show, and Mr. Nolan's.”

“Any romantic ties between you and Mr. Nolan?” he asked pointedly and she grinned at him as Billy pretended to choke on his lemonade.

“Not a one,” she answered coolly.

“And what about you and Mr. Williams?”

“We're the best of friends,” she said with a smile.

“Nothing else?” the man pressed on as her father wondered how she stood it. But she was very patient with him, and very gracious. Desmond had taught her well, and she felt an obligation to him to behave with the press here, although a little mischief with them might have been tempting. They took themselves so seriously, and of course Cassie didn't.

“Not that he's told me,” she said pleasantly, and then turned away to talk to some friends, and they finally left her.

“What pests they are,” Billy said with a look of annoyance. “Don't they get on your nerves all the time?”

“Yes, but Mr. Williams thinks they're good for business.”

“Was there any truth to that, by the way?” Billy asked when they were alone again. “Anything between you and Williams?”

“No,” she said cautiously, “we're just friends. I don't think he wants to be involved. I'm probably as close to him as he is to anyone. He's a very lonely man. I feel sorry for him sometimes,” she said quietly so no one else would hear her. But Billy was in no mood to be serious, and he was always irreverent about tycoons worth over a billion dollars.

“I feel sorry for him too. All that nasty old money he has to take care of. And all those movie stars he probably goes out with. Poor guy.”

“Oh shut up.” She gave him a shove, and Chris came over to join them. He was eating again, and Cassie made a face watching him. He'd been eating like that since he was fourteen, and he was still as thin as a scarecrow. Jessie was standing right next to him, beaming up at him in silent adoration. She worked at the local library. She was a serious girl, and she gave all the money she earned back to her parents to help support her four younger sisters. And it was obvious to everyone that she was crazy about Chris. She was very sweet to all the O'Malleys, especially the younger children.

“Don't you ever stop eating?” Cassie asked him, with feigned irritation.

“Not if I can help it. If you time it right, you can pretty much keep eating from the time you wake up till you go to bed at night. Mom says I eat more than the entire family put together.”

“One day you're going to wind up a fat old man,” Billy warned him, with a wink at Jessie, who giggled.

They were all in a good mood, and there were a few really glorious feats, but none that matched Cassie's of the year before, her horrifying dive and last second recovery.

“I hated it when you did that,” Chris admitted to her; “it made my stomach roll over watching you. I thought you were going to crash.”

“I'm too smart for that,” she said smugly. But she was glad he wasn't doing anything dangerous. Altitude never got anyone into much trouble. It wasn't very exciting either, but she was happy knowing he was safe, and not taking any chances.

“So what's happening in LA,” Billy asked during a lull, and she told him about her work and their new planes, but she didn't say anything about the world tour. She wanted to talk to her father about it first. And then she was going to mention it to Billy. She had been thinking about it a lot, and if she did it, she wanted him to fly with her. He was the best pilot she'd ever seen; even after a year in Los Angeles flying with some real greats, she still thought Billy was better.

He went back up after they chatted for a while, and won another first prize, to prove her point. And shortly after that, there was a near disaster when two planes almost collided, but there was a last minute save, and after some gasps and screams from the crowd, every thing turned out all right. But it made everyone think of the year before, when Jimmy Bradshaw crashed at the air show. Needless to say, they didn't see Peggy there this year, but Cassie had already heard from Chris that she and Bobby Strong were getting married. She had no regrets about him at all. Her life had moved far past him. But she wished him well, and she was happy for Peggy.

Chris was standing with her just before his big event, and they were chatting about some old friends, and then they called his group to their planes.

“Well, here goes nothing.” He looked nervous, understandably, and he looked at Cassie and grinned, and she reached out and touched him.

“Good luck, kid. When you come back, we'll get you something to eat. Try and hang on till then.”

“Thank,” He grinned at her as Jessie went to find one of her sisters.

And as he walked away, for no particular reason except that she was proud of him, Cassie shouted after him, “I love you!” He turned and showed a sign that he had heard her, and then he was gone. And at last it was his turn in the small red plane as he climbed, and he climbed, and he climbed, and she watched him sharply. She thought she saw something then, and she narrowed her eyes against the sun, and she was about to say something to Billy. Sometimes she felt things even before she saw them. But before she could say anything, she saw what she had feared, a thin trail of smoke, and she found herself looking up at it, willing him to the ground as swiftly and as safely as he could get there. She wasn't even sure he knew what the problem was yet, but he did a moment later. His engine had caught fire, and a moment later he was plummeting to the ground faster than he had risen. There was no stopping him, no time to say anything. There were the familiar gasps that meant something terrible, as everyone waited. And Cassie was mentally willing him to pull up on his stick as he fell, and she clutched Billy's arm, but she never took her eyes off her brother's plane. And then he was down, in a column of flame, as she and every man at hand rushed toward him. But the flames were furious and the smoke pitch black. Billy reached him before anyone else and she was right beside him. Together they pulled him from the flames, but he was already gone, and every inch of him was burning. Someone ran toward them with a blanket to quench the flames, and Cassie was sobbing as she held him. She didn't even realize she had burned her arm very badly. She didn't know anything, except that Chris was in her arms, and he would never see again, or laugh, or cry, he would never grow up, or be rude to her, or get married. She couldn't stop crying as she held him, and she heard a guttural cry above her, as the plane exploded and threw shards of metal at the crowd. Billy was pulling on her to get her away, and she was still holding Chris as her father tried to take him from her.

“My boy…” He was sobbing… “My boy… oh, God… no… my baby…” They were both holding him, and people were running and screaming all around them, and then powerful arms lifted Chris from her, and her father was led away, and in the distance she could see Jessie crying, and all Cassie knew was Billy was holding her, and then she saw her mother sobbing in her father's arms. And everyone around them was crying. It had been that way the year before, but this was worse, because it was Chris… her baby brother.

She was never sure what happened after that, except that she remembered being in the hospital, and Billy was with her. The arm didn't hurt at all, but people were doing things to her. Someone said it was a third degree burn, and they kept talking about the accident… the accident… the plane… but she hadn't crashed. She hadn't crashed in her plane, and she kept saying as much to Billy.

“I know, Cass. I know, sweetheart. You didn't do anything.”

“Is Chris okay?” She suddenly remembered that there was something wrong with him, but she couldn't remember what, and Billy just nodded. She was in shock. She had been since it happened.

They gave her something to sleep for a while, and when she woke up, the arm had started to hurt terribly, but she didn't care. She had remembered.

But Billy was still there, and they cried together. Her parents were there too by then. They had come back to see her. Her mother was almost hysterical, and her father was heartbroken, and Glynnis and her husband Jack were there, but everyone kept crying. Glynnis told her Jessie had gone home with friends of Chris's, and her parents had had to call the doctor.

Because Chris was so badly burned, the casket was closed, and the wake was the following night at the funeral home in Good Hope. And the funeral was the next day at St. Mary's. Everyone he had ever gone to school with was there, all his friends, and Jessie. She was in terrible shape, surrounded by her sisters, and Cassie made a point of going to kiss her. It was a terrible thing for a nineteen-year-old girl to live through.

Bobby Strong was there, and he came over and talked to Cass, but Peggy just couldn't. Some of Chris's friends from college had come too, and almost everyone who'd been in the air show, just as all of them had gone for Jim the year before. It seemed such an idle death, such a stupid way to die, climbing to the sky just to prove how far you could go, or worse yet, that you couldn't.

Cassie felt as though part of herself had died, and as she followed the casket out of the church, she and her father had to hold up her mother. It was the worst thing Cassie had ever seen, the worst thing she'd ever been through.

And it was only as they left the church that she looked up and saw Desmond Williams. She couldn't even imagine how he had known, and then she realized the wire services had been there and it was probably all over the papers. She was a star now, and her brother's death in an air show was big news. But she was glad he had come anyway. There was something comforting about seeing him there. And she reached out to him as they left the church, and thanked him for coming. She asked him to come to the house afterward, with their other friends, and once he arrived she could tell him how much his coming meant to her. He nodded, and then she started to cry, and he just held her in his arms, feeling awkward. He didn't know what to say or do, he just held her, hoping that was enough. And then he saw her arm, and moved her gently.

“Are you all right? How bad is it?” He had been very worried when he heard she'd been burned trying to save her brother.

“I'm okay. Billy and I pulled him out, and… and… he was still burning.” The image she created was so horrible that it almost made him sick. But he was reassured when she told him the doctors weren't worried about her. He told her he wanted it checked out in LA when she got back. And he made a point of talking to her parents, and chatting with Billy for a while. And then he left. He said he was flying back that night. He had just wanted to be there for her, and she was glad he'd come. It meant a lot to her, and she told him.

‘Thank you, Desmond… for everything…” He didn't mention the world tour, but she knew it was on his mind. And she was still planning to talk to her father. But she had already told Desmond she wanted to stay home for a week or two, with them, and he told her to stay as long as she wanted.

She walked back outside with him, and he hugged her, and then he left, looking very somber. And when she went back inside, her father was crying and said that Chris had done it for him, and he should never have let him.

“He did it because he wanted to, Dad,” Cass said quietly, “We all do. You know that.” It was true in her case, but not in Chris's, but she felt she at least owed her father that. “He told me before he went up that he wanted to do it He liked it.” It was a lie, but a kind one.

“He did?” Her father looked surprised, but relieved as he dried his eyes, and took another shot of whiskey.

That was a nice thing you did for him,” Billy said to her later, and she only nodded, thinking of something else.

“I wish Nick were here,” she said quietly. And then Billy decided to tell her what he'd done.

“I sent him a telegram the night it happened. I think they're pretty reasonable about granting leave to volunteers. I don't know, I just thought…” He wasn't sure if she'd be mad at him, but it was obvious now that she wasn't.

“I'm glad you did,” she said gratefully, and stood around looking at their friends.

It was a miserable reason to get together. She wondered then if Nick would come, if he could get away, or they would let him.

She sat for hours with her parents that night, talking about Chris, and the things he'd done as a child. They cried and they laughed, and remembered the little things that meant so much to them now that he was no longer with them.

The next morning Cassie dropped by the hospital, to have them look at her arm. They changed the dressings for her and then she went back to the house to sit with her father.

He hadn't gone to the airport since the accident, and Billy was taking care of things for him. Cassie stopped there on the way, and Billy asked her how her dad was.

“Not so great.” He'd been drinking that morning when she left him after breakfast He just couldn't face what had happened yet. He only drank in moments of great stress or celebration, and when she went back, he was sitting alone in the living room and crying.

“Hi, Dad,” she said as she came in. She had lain awake all night, thinking of how she had resented Chris, of how often she had thought her father liked him better. She wondered if Chris had ever known it. She hoped not. “How're you feeling?”

He just shrugged and didn't bother to answer. She talked about some of their visitors then, and about stopping to see Billy at the airport. But for once, her father didn't ask how things were there.

“Did you see Desmond Williams here yesterday?” she said, groping for things to say to him as he looked up at her blankly. But at least this time he answered.

“Was he here?” She nodded, and sat down next to him. “That was nice of him. What's he like, Cass?” Her father had talked to him briefly, but he didn't remember in the agony of the day.

“He's very quiet, very honest… hardworking… lonely.” They were odd things to say about the man she worked for. “Driven, I guess, would be the right word. He lives for his business. It's all he has.”

‘That's sad for him,” he said, looking at her, and then he started to cry again, thinking about the air show. The poor kid had been only twenty. “It could have been you, Cass,” he said through his tears. “It could have been you last year. I was never so scared as when I watched you.”

“I know,” she smiled, “I scared the pants off Nick too, but I knew what I was doing.”

“That's what we all think,” he said gloomily. “Chris probably thought so too.”

“But he never did know, Dad. He wasn't like us.”

“I know,” he agreed. They all knew it too. Chris had really never known what he was doing. “I just keep thinking of how he looked when you and Billy pulled him out.” He looked sick as he thought about it, and not knowing what else to do, she poured him another drink. But by lunchtime, he was slurring and half asleep. And then finally, he dozed off, and she just let him sit there. Maybe the best thing for him was to sleep. Her mother came back that afternoon with two of Cassie's sisters, and by then her father was awake and had sobered up again. Cassie made them all something to eat, and then they sat talking quietly in the kitchen.

It was odd being with all of them, and Cassie realized that they seemed to be waiting for something. It was as though the reality of Chris's being gone hadn't sunk in yet, and everyone was waiting for him to come home, or for someone to tell them it hadn't happened. But it had. It had been as bad as it could have been. It couldn't have been much worse, except if he had suffered.

Glynnis and Megan left when Colleen arrived, with all her kids, and the brief chaos did them all good, and then finally they were alone again. Cassie cooked dinner for her parents, and she was glad she was there with them. She had no idea yet when she'd be leaving. Her mother cried again at the end of the meal, and Cassie put her to bed, like a child, but her father seemed better that night. He was calmer and very clear-headed, and he wanted to talk to her after Oona had gone to bed. He asked her about her work, and if she liked it, what kind of planes she'd been flying, and about her life in LA He knew the year was up and he wondered if Cassie would stay in LA or come home now. With Chris gone, his concerns were more poignant.

“I've been offered a new contract.” Cassie answered his question directly.

“What's he giving you?” he asked with interest.

“Double what he paid me last year,” she said proudly, “but I was going to send the difference to you and Mom. I really don't need it.”

“You might,” her father said gruffly. “You never know what can happen. Your sisters have their husbands to take care of them, but you, and Chris…” And then he caught himself and his eyes filled with tears again as she touched his hand and he held hers tightly. “I forget sometimes,” he said through his tears.

“I know, Daddy… so do I…” She had been thinking about Chris that afternoon, and wondered if he was in Walnut Grove with Jessie, and then she remembered. It was as though their hearts and minds just didn't want to accept it. She had talked to Jessie on the phone that afternoon, and she felt that way too. She said she kept listening for his truck. They all did.

“Anyway, I want you to keep the money,” Pat said firmly.

“That's silly.”

“Why is he paying you so much?” he asked with a worried frown. “He's not making you do anything dishonest, is he, Cass? Or too dangerous?”

“No more dangerous than any other test pilot who works for him, and probably less so. He's got a big investment in me. I think he just thinks I'm useful to the company, because I'm a woman, and all the publicity… the speed records I've set are important for his planes.” And then she looked at him, wondering if it was too soon to tell him. But she wanted to tell him now. She wanted to sign the contract as soon as she went back. She had thought about it a lot in the last few days, in spite of Chris, and she knew what she wanted.

“He wants me to do a world tour, Dad,” she said quietly, and for a moment, there was a long silence while he absorbed it.

“What kind of world tour? There's a war on, you know.”

“I know. He said we'd have to work around it. But he thinks it could be done safely, if we plan our route carefully.”

“So did George Putnam,” her father said grimly. He had just lost one child, he didn't want to lose another. “There's no way to do a world tour safely, Cass, war or no. There are too many variables, too many dangers. Your engines could fail. You could navigate wrong. You could hit a storm. A million unexpected things could happen.”

“But less so in one of his planes, and if I took the right man with me.”

“Did you have anyone in mind?” He thought instantly of Nick, but he couldn't go now.

Cassie nodded. “I thought maybe Billy.” Pat hesitated while he thought about it, and then he nodded.

“He's good,” he agreed. “But he's young,” and then he reconsidered. “Maybe you have to be. No one older than you kids would be crazy enough to want to do it.” He almost smiled then, and Cass suddenly felt better. It was almost as though he had approved. And she wanted him to. She wanted to do it with his blessing. “Is that why they're paying you so much?”

“No,” she shook her head. “They'd pay me even more for the world tour.” She didn't even dare tell him how much. A hundred and fifty thousand would sound like the world to him, and it was. And she didn't want him to think she was doing it out of greed, because she wasn't. “And there would be bonuses, and other contracts resulting from it, and endorsements. It's a pretty good deal,” she explained modestly. But even talking about those amounts of money scared her.

“It's not a good deal if you're dead,” Pat said bluntly, and she nodded. “You'd better think about it carefully, Cassandra Maureen. It's not a game. You'll take your life in your hands if you do it.”

“What do you think I should do, Dad?” She was begging for his approval and he knew it.

“I just don't know,” he said, and then he closed his eyes, thinking about it. He opened them again, and reached for her hands and held them. “You have to do what you need to do, Cass. Whatever it is your mind and heart tell you. I can't stand between you and a great future. But if you get hurt, I'll never forgive myself… or Desmond Williams. I'd like you to stay here, and never risk anything again… particularly after what just happened to Chris. But that's not right. You have to follow your heart. I said as much to Nick when he decided to go to England. You're young, it could be a great thing if you make it. And a terrible heartbreak for us, if you don't.” He looked at her long and hard, not sure what else he should say to her. It was her decision in the end. She'd been right to go to Los Angeles the year before, but he just didn't know now.

“I'd like to do it, Daddy,” she said quietly, and he nodded.

“At your age, I would have too. It would have been the greatest opportunity in my life, if anyone had offered it. But they didn't,” He smiled, and looked more like himself again. “You're a lucky girl, Cass. That man has given you a great chance to become someone very important. It's a gift… but a dangerous one. I hope he knows what he's doing.”

“So do I, Daddy. But I trust him. He's too smart to take chances. He believes totally in what he's doing.”

“When does he want you to go?” Pat asked cautiously.

“Not for another year. He wants to plan it perfectly.”

“I like that,” Pit said. “Well, think about it, and let me know what you decide. I wouldn't tell your mother for a while, if you decide to do it.” She nodded, and a little while later they turned out the lights and went to bed, but she was immensely relieved to have talked to him, and even more so that he hadn't gotten angry. He seemed to have finally accepted who she was, and what she was doing. He'd come a long way since he'd forbidden her to fly or take lessons. The memory of that made her smile now.

She talked to Billy about it the next day, and he went wild when she told him she had suggested him as her navigator and co-pilot.

“You want me?” he shrieked and then threw his arms around her neck and kissed her. “Zowie!!!!”

“Would you do it?”

“Are you kidding? When do we leave? I'll pack now.”

“Relax,” she laughed at him, “not for another year. July 2, 1941, to be exact. He wants to do it on the anniversary of the day Earhart went down. It's a little spooky but he likes that.” It had to do with publicity, and in that, she trusted Desmond's judgment.

“Why so long?” Billy sounded disappointed.

“He wants to plan it carefully, build it up, test the right plane. He's thinking about our using the Starlifter, which would be tremendous publicity for it, for distance and endurance.” That was really what it was all about, but if they made it, their lives would never be the same again. And she already knew that there was fifty thousand dollars in it for Billy, and she told him.

“I could sure have a good time with that, couldn't I?” But like Cassie, it wasn't the money that appealed to him, it was the excitement and the challenge. It was the same thing that appealed to Desmond, and had even sparked a flicker of excitement in her father. “Well, let me know what you do.” And like her father, he suspected that she had already made the decision. She had, but she was trying it on for size, thinking about it, trying to be sure she wanted to make the commitment. Working for Desmond for another year was one thing, that was an easy choice, but agreeing to do the world tour was entirely different, and she knew it. She knew how great the risks were, and the benefits, if she made it. Imagine what Earhart would have been if she had succeeded. It was hard to imagine her legend being even stronger than it was, but it would have been. If only…

Billy left on a quick hop to Cleveland that afternoon, and her father was still at home, so Cassie volunteered to stick around and close the office. She put some papers away for them, and then she put on a familiar pair of overalls and went out to gas some planes. She had nothing else to do, and it would save Billy some work in the morning.

She had just finished the last of them, and put away some tools, when she saw a small plane coming in on the main runway. The little plane didn't seem to hesitate. It came right in, and then taxied toward the far hangar. She wondered if it was a regular, it had to be. She didn't know all of them anymore. He seemed to know exactly where to go, and what to do. She watched him for a minute, but the sun was in her eyes. And then she saw him. It couldn't be… it couldn't… but it was. He had come home to them. It was Nick. And she was crying as she ran toward him. She flew into his arms and he held her there, careful of her bandaged arm. It brought it all back to be there with him, the sorrow and the pain, and the shock of losing Chris mingled with the pleasure of seeing Nick now. He kissed her long and hard, and she felt safe and at peace suddenly, knowing he was home now.

“They let me go as soon as I heard,” he explained when they came up for air. “But I had a hell of a time getting to New York. I had to fly out of Lisbon, I got in last night, and I chartered this crate in New York this morning. I never thought I'd make it. The damn thing barely got off the ground in New Jersey.”

“I'm so glad you're here.” She hugged him again, so relieved to see him. And he looked incredibly handsome in his RAF uniform. But also very worried.

“How's your dad?”

“Not great,” she said honestly. “He'll be glad to see you. I'll drive you over now. You can stay with us.” And then she almost choked on the words, “You can have Chris's room… or mine… I'll sleep on the couch.” Billy was living in Nick's old shack, and it would have been close quarters with both of them there.

“I can sleep on the floor,” he grinned. “It's not a problem. The British aren't known for their comfortable barracks. I haven't had a decent night's sleep since last September.”

“When are you coming home?” she asked, as she drove him to her parents’ house.

“When it's over.” But it wouldn't be over soon. Now that France had fallen three weeks before, Hitler had control of an even larger chunk of Europe. And the British had their hands full keeping him from trying to take what was left of the French fleet in North Africa. Their problems were far from over.

Nick inquired about her arm, and she admitted it hurt, but was getting better.

They had arrived at the house by then, and her father was sitting in a chair on the porch looking doleful.

“Cot a cot for a soldier, Ace?” Nick said quietly as he stepped onto the porch and walked swiftly to his old friend and embraced him. The two men cried, sharing each other's pain, and Cassie left them alone to talk and fix them some dinner. Her mother had gone to bed with a terrible headache. She was still taking it very hard, understandably, he had been her baby, and so young. He was only twenty.

Cassie made them both sandwiches and poured them beer, and her mother had made a big salad in case they wanted it. It was enough. None of them were very hungry. And as they ate, Nick told them about what was happening in Europe. He had heard tales of the fall of France three weeks before, and the heartbreaking fall of Paris. The Germans were everywhere, and the British were afraid Hitler would try to take them next, and there was some fear that he might succeed, although no one said it.

“Are they letting you fly missions yet?” Pat asked, smiling at the memories of their days together at the end of the last war.

“They're too smart for that, Ace. They know I'm over the hill.”

“Not at your age. Give 'em time. When things get hot for them, they're going to throw your behind into a fighter and kiss you good-bye in a hot minute.”

“I hope not.” It made Cassie angry listening to them. They all loved war so much, and as far as they were concerned, it was all right to take chances, as long as they were the ones who did it.

She left them talking on the porch late that night. She would have liked to talk to Nick too, but she knew her father needed him more. And she had time. Nick was there for three days. She would see him in the morning.

Her father finally went to his office the next day, and he was pleased to find everything in good order. Billy had taken good care of the planes. Cassie had taken good care of his desk, and his pilots were all standing by waiting for directions. It did him good to come back, and halfway through the morning, Cassie was surprised when Desmond called her. He asked if it was okay to talk, and she stepped in and closed the door to her father's office.

“It's fine. You're nice to call.”

“I've been worried about you, Cass. But I didn't want to intrude at a time like this. How's the arm?”

“I'll be fine.” She didn't want to worry him by telling him how bad it really was, but so far it was healing nicely. “Is everything all right there?” she asked, feeling guilty for staying away for so long. She had been gone almost a week now, but he had told her not to rush back. She apologized again, and he told her to stay as long as she wanted.

“How are your parents?”

“Not great. But my dad came to work today. I think it'll do him good, especially once someone makes him mad about something. It'll take his mind off his troubles.” He laughed at what she said, and asked if she'd given the world tour any more thought, and she smiled and said she had. “I talked to my father about it.”

“I imagine he was thrilled to hear about it right now. Your timing wasn't exactly the best, Miss O'Malley.” He almost groaned at the thought of her telling him now. He could just imagine what he must have said. But she surprised him.

“Actually, he wasn't all that opposed to it, after we talked about it for a while. I think he's worried about a lot of things, but he was surprisingly reasonable. I think he sees it as a great opportunity for me. He told me I had to make up my own mind.”

“And have you?” he asked, holding his breath. He had been frantic about her since she left. And he was surprised at how much he missed her. And he was even more worried she might not come back to LA or renew her contract after her brother's death. She was an important part of his life now.

“Almost,” she told him tantalizingly. “I just want to think it out while I'm here. Ill tell you the minute I get back, Desmond, I promise.”

“I can't stand the suspense.” And he meant it. It was driving him crazy.

“I think you'll find the answer worth waiting for,” she teased and he grinned. He liked the way she sounded. And he couldn't help thinking of how she looked, as he talked to her. She had even looked beautiful at the funeral with her ravaged face and heavily bandaged arm, but it seemed wrong to think so.

“Promises, promises. Hurry up and come home, I miss you.”

“I miss you too.” She said it as she would have to a friend, as she would have to Chris, or to Billy. She missed talking to him at the crazy hours when they were both awake, and about the things they both cared about, his airplanes.

“I'll see you soon, Cass.”

“Take care. Thanks for calling.” She hung up and went back outside to her father and Nick. Her father asked her who had called and she told him Desmond Williams.

“What did he want?” Nick asked, looking annoyed.

‘To talk to me,” she said coolly. She didn't like the way Nick had asked the question. He was acting as though he owned her. And for a man who hadn't even bothered to write in three months, that was pushing his luck, or so she thought.

“What about?” Nick persisted.

“Business,” she said bluntly and changed the subject.

Fat smiled then and walked away. He could see a storm gathering, and he could only smile. She was definitely an O'Malley.

“How's the arm?” Nick asked when they were alone again.

“So-so,” she said honestly. “It's starting to hurt like hell, which they claim is a good sign.” She shrugged and looked up at him then, and invited him to take a walk with her. He agreed and they strolled to the far edges of the airport.

“What are you doing these days, Cass?” He sounded gentler than he had a few minutes before, and her heart melted again the minute he came near her, and put an arm around her.

“The same stuff. Flying planes, pushing limits. My contract is up this week. They've offered me a new one.”

“Same terms?” he asked bluntly.

“Better.” So was she.

“Are you going to do it?”

“I think so.”

And then Nick asked a question she hadn't expected. “Are you in love with him, Cass?” He looked worried as he asked, and she smiled at the bluntness of the question.

“Desmond? Of course not. We're friends, but that's all. He's a very lonely person.”

“So am I, in England.” But he didn't sound sorry for himself as he said it. He sounded angry about Desmond, and jealous.

“Apparently not lonely enough to be bothered writing to me,” she said tartly. She hated not hearing from him, especially since he wrote to her father sometimes, and to Billy.

“You know how I feel about that. There's no point stringing you along, or our getting tied up with each other, Cass. There's no future in it for you.”

“I still don't see why not. Unless you don't love me. That I could understand. This I can't. This is crazy.”

“It's very simple. I could be dead next week.”

“So could I. So what, we're fliers. I'm willing to take my chances on you. Are you willing to take them on me?”

“That's not the point and you know it. If I do get lucky and survive, which would be lucky for me, and maybe not so lucky for you, then what? You live in a shack and starve for the rest of your life? Congratulations to the big winner. I'm a flier, Cass. I'm never going to have a hill of beans. I never minded till now. I never paid attention, just like Billy isn't. He's having a good time. So was I. I still am. Then what? It's no future for you, Cass. I won't do that. And your father would kill me if I let you do that to yourself.”

“He may kill you sooner if you don't wind up with me. He thinks we're both crazy. Me for loving you, and you for running.”

“Maybe he's right. Who knows, but that's the way I see it.”

“And what if I save some money?” It was an interesting question.

“Good for you. Enjoy it. I hope you do. You're practically a movie star these days. Every time I see a newsreel from home now, you're in it more than Hitler.”

“Gee, thanks.”

“Well, it's true. Williams sure knows what he's doing.

So what are you asking me? If you get rich thanks to him, am I willing to live off of you? The answer is no, if that's the question.”

“You don't make anything easy, do you?” She was beginning to get annoyed. He made everything impossible. Heads I win, tails you lose. He had loaded the dice, and she just couldn't win a round, and she was getting sick of it. “Are you saying that if you'd saved some money over these past few years, then you'd come home and marry me. But since you didn't, if I make some money, that's not okay. Is that it?”

“You've got it,” he said smugly. He had decided not to ruin her life, and he was determined to do everything he had to to stick by it. “I don't live off women.”

“You don't make much sense either. You're the only man I've ever met who's more stubborn than my father. And he's at least beginning to make sense in his old age. Just how long do I have to wait with you?” She said impatiently.

“Till I get soft upstairs,” he said with a grin, “and it won't be long now.” He was tired of arguing with her. All he wanted was to put his arms around her and kiss her. It drove him up the wall when he saw her in the newsreels. He wanted to shout, “Hey, that's my girl!” But she wasn't. He wouldn't let her be. She was his best friend's daughter, and the girl he'd been in love with since she was three. Try explaining that to a bunch of guys in the RAF. It had blocked him off his feet to realize that. Two or three of them had her on their walls as pinups.

“Get over here,” he said gruffly, as she stood several feet away with her arms crossed, tapping her foot at him. “And don't look at me like that.”

“Why not?” She scowled at him.

“Because I may be a complete jerk, and I may want you to marry someone half my age and have ten kids, but I still love you, Cass… I always will, baby… you know that.”

“Oh, Nick.” She melted at the sight of him, and as he pulled her into his arms all she wanted was him. They stood together and kissed for a long time, forgetting all the words and the arguments and the problems. And then they walked slowly back to the airport. Her father saw them from where he sat in his office, and he figured they had worked things out. He wondered when they were going to get smart and figure out that they had something rare and important. But they were both stubborn as hell, and he wasn't going to get into it with them. He wondered if she had told Nick about the world tour yet, and what he would say. But it was only the next day that it came up, as they were all three sitting in Pat's office.

“What are you talking about?” Nick looked confused. Pat had referred to it, and Nick had no idea what he was saying.

Pat looked at his daughter then and raised an eyebrow. “Aren't you going to tell him?”

‘Tell me what? Oh great. So what's the big secret?” He knew she wasn't in love with someone else or even seeing anyone, although he had told her to, and she had had a fit over his telling her that. And she certainly wasn't pregnant, since he pretty much knew she was a virgin. There had never been anyone in Cassie's life except Bobby, and Nick. And all she and Bobby had ever done was a little light kissing on the porch. And Nick would never have touched her. “So what's the deal here?”

She decided to tell him herself. It wasn't a fait accompli yet. But she was as good as sure. And she was going to tell Desmond when she went back to LA that she was going.

“I've had a very interesting offer from Williams Aircraft.”

“I know. For another year. You told me,” he said smugly, but Cassie only looked at him and then slowly shook her head as Pat watched her.

“No. For a world tour. A year from now. I've been thinking about it, and I talked to Dad about it before you got here. But I wanted to make up my own mind before I told you.”

“A world tour?” He exploded onto his feet with a look of outrage.

“That's right, Nick,” she said calmly. She didn't tell him the price attached to it, because that wasn't why she wanted to do it. And saying it sounded vulgar.

“I told you that's what that sonofabitch had in mind right from the beginning. Goddammit, Cassie, don't you ever listen?” He raged at her, swinging at the air with a pointing finger. “That's what the newsreels are all about, and the constant publicity. He wanted to make you into a name, and now he's going to exploit the hell out of you, and risk your life. There's a war going on, how the hell do you think you're going to do it? Even if you do figure out some insane route, which I doubt. Goddammit, Cass, I won't let you do it!”

“That's my decision, Nick,” she said quietly. “It's not up to you. Any more than your joining the RAF was mine. We make our own decisions.”

“Oh great. So what is this? Revenge? Because I volunteered? Or because I don't write you? Don't you understand what this guy is doing? He's using you, Cass. For God's sake, wake up, before he kills you.” Nick was in a total rage over what Williams was doing, and Cass refused to see it.

“He's not going to kill me. That's ridiculous.”

“Are you crazy? Do you know how dangerous that trip is, with or without the war? It's suicide. And you won't make it. You don't have the endurance or the experience.”

“I do now.”

“Bullshit, all you do is fly test flights. That's nothing like it. When was the last time you flew long distance?”

“Last week when I came here. I do it all the time, Nick.”

“You'll kill yourself, you damn fool. And what about you?”

He turned to Fat with a look of fury. “You're willing to let her do this?”

“I'm not happy about it,” Pat said sadly. He had just lost a son after all, but he had learned a lot in recent years, and much of it from Cassie. “But she's old enough to make up her own mind, Nick, for better or worse. I don't have a right to make her decisions for her.” Cassie wanted to cheer when she heard him.

“What happened to you?” Nick looked stunned. “How can you say that?”

“Because I've grown older and wiser, and maybe you need to too. On the one hand you tell her she's on her own, you won't marry her because you're too old for her or God knows why and then you want to tell her what to do. It doesn't work that way, Nick. And even if you marry her, she may not let you tell her what to do. It's a new generation of women out there. I'm learning fast. And I'm damn glad I got Oona when I did, I can tell you. They're a complicated lot, these newfangled women.”

“I don't believe you. You sold out. You've let her talk you into this.”

“No.” Pat was adamant. “She hasn't even told me if she's going yet. This is her decision, Nick. All hers. Not yours, or mine. I don't want to be the man who kept her from it, if I stop her, and you shouldn't either.”

“And if it kills her?” Nick asked bluntly.

“Then I'll never forgive myself,” Pat answered honestly. “But I still have to let her do it.” There were tears in his eyes as he said the words, and she walked over and kissed him.

Nick was staring at her when she turned to him again. “Well, are you going to do it?” Both men held their breath while they waited, and then she nodded, and Nick looked as though he might cry.

“Yes, I am. But I haven't told Desmond.”

“No wonder he called yesterday,” Nick groaned in anguish. He couldn't believe she was going to do it. He had taught her himself. He knew that she was capable of great things, but not this… not yet… not now… and maybe never.

“He called to see how I was, and how Dad was.”

“How touching.” And then he looked at her in fresh rage. “And that'll be the next thing, won't it?”

“What will?” She didn't understand him and neither did Pat, but Nick was off on a new tangent.

“More publicity. More stunts. It was no accident last year when he took you to that restaurant to go dancing and had his picture taken with you. It kept things exciting in the press, mysterious… but he'll have to go a lot further than that now, to make things interesting, to keep it going. How much do you want to bet he'll ask you to many him?” Nick said in a complete rage over it, and Cassie looked at him in disgust, and her father in amusement. He had never seen his old friend have a jealous fit before but that was clearly what this was, and it amused him.

“That's the most disgusting thing I've ever heard,” Cassie accused him, but he was sure of it.

And Pat shared wise words with him. “if you've told her you won't marry her under any circumstances when you get back, and you won't even write to the girl now, what exactly do you expect? For her to enter a convent for the rest of her life, or stay a virgin? She has a right to a life, Nick. If not with you, then with someone else. And he seemed a decent man, if you ask me, whatever commercial motives he might have over this trip, or about his publicity. He's selling airplanes. He has to do what he can to make them interesting, and if having them flown by a pretty girl, who happens to be a damn fine pilot, I might add, works for him, then more power to him. And if you don't want to marry her and he does, then I don't think you've got much to say about it, do you?” Cassie had to hide a smile as she listened to him. She had never heard her father make a speech like that, and the best part of it was that he was right. But Nick didn't want to admit it.

“He doesn't love her, Fat… I do.”

“Then marry her,” Pat said quietly, and walked out of the room, to give them some time alone. They needed it more than any two people he knew, but an hour later they were still fighting and had gotten nowhere. He was accusing her of either being naive or leading Desmond on, and she was accusing him of being infantile. It was a hell of an afternoon, and by the end of the day, both of them were exhausted. And Nick had to fly back to New York in the morning.

They talked almost all night, and nothing was resolved. He kept reminding her that he was a thirty-nine-year-old man and he was not going to marry a child, and destroy her life.

“Then leave me alone!” she shouted at him, and went to bed finally, and the next morning before he left they were both still angry at each other.

“I forbid you to fly on the world tour,” he told her before he took off in his chartered plane, and she begged him to be reasonable and not give her ultimatums.

“Why can't we forget it for right now? It's not for another year, and you're leaving and going back to England.”

“I don't care if I'm flying to the moon, I don't want you to sign that contract.”

“You have no right to say that. Stop it, Nick!”

“No, I won't, goddammit, until you agree not to do it!”

“Well, I'm going to!” She shouted at him, her red hair flying in the wind, as he grabbed her and yanked her toward him.

“No, you're not.” He kissed her hard on the lips, but they both came up fighting.

“I am.”

“Shut up.”

“I love you.”

“Then don't do it.”

“Oh for God's sake.” He kissed her again, but nothing was resolved by the time he left, predictably, and as he took off, she stood crying next to the runway. And five minutes later, she stormed into her father's office. “That man drives me nuts.”

“You two are going to kill each other one of these days. It's a wonder you haven't yet,” he said, smiling. “Stubborn as two mules. It really will be a shame if you don't get married one day. You deserve each other. Either of you would wear anyone else out,” And then he looked at her seriously for a long moment. “Do you think he's right, that Williams might ask you to marry him for publicity for the trip?”

“No, I do not.” She looked incensed. ‘The man is terrified of getting involved with anyone. He's had two disastrous marriages. And I think if he ever did marry again, it would have to be for love.”

“I hope so.” But he felt better to have heard her say it. “Has he shown any particular interest in you, Cassie?” Other than coming to Chris's funeral, which he had thought was damn fine of him, and he said so.

“Not really. We're just friends. Nick doesn't know what he's talking about.”

“Well, you could do a lot worse, if you don't marry that lunatic on his way back to England. I swear, he'll be the death of me one day. He and I used to have rows like that in the old days. Stubbornest sonofabitch I ever met.” Cassie didn't disagree with him, as she went back to the house to check on her mother.

She left Illinois the following week, and returned to Newport Beach, to her apartment, and to work, and to sign her new contract for another year at twice the money. And on her first day back, she went to talk to Desmond alone in his office.

“Is something wrong?” he asked nervously, standing up quickly as she came in. He always did that for her when she entered the room, and she liked it. “Fitzpat-rick said it was urgent.”

“That depends on how you look at it,” she said quietly. “I thought you'd want your answer about the world tour.” But he suddenly sensed from the look on her face that she didn't want to do it, and he could feel his heart sink.

“I… I understand, Cass… I thought probably after your brother… I don't suppose your parents were pleased… it wouldn't be fair to them…” He was trying to accept her decision gracefully, but it was a huge disappointment for him, and very painful. He wanted this so badly. He wanted to be part of it, and to help her do it.

“No, it wouldn't be fair to them,” she agreed. “And my dad wasn't pleased.” They had agreed not to tell her mother yet. “But he said it was my decision entirely, so that's how I made it.” He didn't say a word as he looked at her, and she came a step closer. “I'll do it, Desmond.”

“What?” he whispered.

“I'll do the tour. I want to do it for you.”

“Oh, my God.” He sank back into his chair with his eyes closed, and then he looked up and saw her. He leaped to his feet and came across his desk to kiss her. It was a chaste kiss, but it held all the fervent gratitude that he felt for her. Nothing had ever meant more to him. And nothing would ever again be as important. He would see to that. He had a thousand plans, and he was going to share all of them with her. They had an incredible year ahead of them. And as he sat down and started telling her, he held tightly to her hand, and kept thanking her. And she was happier than ever that she had decided to do it. To hell with Nick. This was her life.