Before Jamaica Lane

10

Yawning, I shook my head when Nate held up a clingy red number.

His jaw clenched as he put it back on the rack. ‘Is there anything you like? And can you please bloody wake up?’

We were standing in the middle of a high street designer shop just off Princes Street, trying to find something sexy for me to wear that night. We’d been attempting this for two and a half hours and although I was deliberately delaying it to torture him, I was unfortunately torturing myself in the process. I threw my hands on my hips. ‘You woke me up at seven thirty in the morning on a Saturday. I’m tired. I’m bored. I hate shopping. I’m one of those women that actually can’t stand changing rooms, and mannequins freak me out. I own a T-shirt that says ONLINE SHOPPING IS MY SAVIOR. Comprende?’

Nate folded his arms over his chest, bracing his legs apart. He was wearing dark blue jeans, black boots, a slim-cut white T-shirt, a black blazer, and a beanie. He looked gorgeous and awake and everywhere we went women surreptitiously gazed at him, their eyes filled with longing … until they turned their focus to me – and the longing changed to envy as they assumed we were together.

I had to admit that part of the shopping trip was kind of fun.

‘Do you think I want to be here?’ Nate asked, irritation clipping his words. ‘I fucking hate shopping.’

I grinned teasingly as I playfully punched his arm. ‘Then let’s blow this joint, baby!’

A dimple appeared and I knew he was trying not to laugh and thus ruin his beleaguered countenance. He held it together. ‘Liv, we need to get this done.’

Pouting, I clasped my hands together. ‘Please, let’s just go.’

His eyes dropped to my mouth for a moment before he lifted them to search my face. ‘Do you want to feel sexy tonight?’

Slumping at his question, I exhaled, gazed around me, and answered in the affirmative.

‘And do you own anything that makes you feel marginally sexy?’

‘Just underwear,’ I admitted with a shrug.

He was quiet at my answer, so I looked back at him. He was smiling. ‘That’s good to know. However, I don’t think you were planning on it going that far, so let’s find you an outfit. I have class in a couple of hours.’

‘Excuse me.’ A young sales assistant approached, her smiling eyes eating Nate up, who was at least ten years her senior. ‘Can I help at all?’

Nate quirked an eyebrow at me and I answered with a long-suffering sigh before turning to the girl. ‘I’m looking for a dress. Nothing clingy,’ I said pointedly, my eyes on my friend. ‘Belly pouch,’ I reminded him and then turned back to the girl. ‘Do you have any peplum dresses?’

‘Eh …’ She shook her head. ‘We have peplum tops but no dresses.’

‘Do you have matching pencil skirts?’

‘Oh, yes. This way.’ She turned on her heel and started striding away from us.

Nate was looking at me suspiciously. ‘Peplum tops? Pencil skirts?’

‘What? I said I hated shopping. I didn’t say I didn’t know how to dress.’

‘I’m going to kill you,’ he muttered in my ear as we followed the girl. ‘You’ve been dragging your feet for two and a half hours.’

I stopped and grabbed his arm to halt him. ‘Honey, you woke me up at seven thirty. On a Saturday.’

‘Are you saying the past few hours have been payback?’

I shrugged nonchalantly. ‘I didn’t say anything of the sort.’

‘Here we are.’ The girl called to us and I hurried toward her to escape Nate’s frustrated growl. I felt the heat of him at my back as I stopped in front of the clothes rail where she stood. ‘We’ve got three different styles of peplum tops and there are a few pencil skirts here that would work with each.’

‘Perfect.’ Nate slapped my ass heartily – so hard, in fact, that the noise of it ricocheted off the walls of the store. And it stung. Like, really stung. ‘My baby will look gorgeous in these.’

The girl blinked in as much surprise as I did before murmuring her excuses to leave us to it. Once she was out of earshot, I slowly turned my head to look him in the eye. ‘What. The. Hell. Was. That?’

He patted the sore spot soothingly. ‘Payback for the payback,’ he murmured with an unapologetic smile. Without another word he grabbed a few tops in my size along with skirts and shoved them at me. ‘Try them on.’

Snatching the clothes from him with one hand while I rubbed my sore backside with the other, I hissed at him, ‘You’ll pay for that.’

I spent the next twenty minutes stonily trying on outfits for his approval. Finally we decided on a low-cut black peplum top with a sweetheart neckline and a sapphire blue leather belt that looped around the waist, a skintight black pencil skirt that came to just below my knees and had a pretty pleat in the back, and a pair of blue suede stilettos and matching clutch. Nate was very happy with the outfit. I, on the other hand, was too busy planning my revenge for the ass slapping to really pay much attention.

It wasn’t until we were at the counter and the girl gave me the total cost that I turned to Nate and sweetly asked, ‘Honey?’

He raised an eyebrow at me. ‘What?’

‘I forgot my wallet.’

His eyes narrowed. ‘No, you didn’t.’ He gestured to the purse hanging from my shoulder. ‘It’s right there.’

‘That’s my purse. It’s not got my wallet in it,’ I lied.

‘I saw you put your wallet in there this morning, sweetheart,’ he reminded me through clenched teeth.

‘Well, now I don’t have it, sweetheart,’ I replied through my own clenched teeth.

We glared at each other for a while. Until I won.

Glowering at me the entire time, he took out his own wallet and pulled out his credit card. As the girl was putting my items into the shopping bag, I rested a hand against Nate’s chest and pressed a soft kiss to his cheek, then brushed my mouth along his ear. ‘Payback,’ I murmured, leaning away as he turned his head to meet my eyes. His own smoldered hotly, and for a moment I lost my breath. Ignoring the thrill of desire that pooled between my legs at his expression, I whispered, ‘My ass cheek is throbbing.’

A smile cracked his taut demeanor. ‘Fair enough. We’ll just call this an early birthday present.’ He grabbed the bags and wrapped my hand around them.

‘No.’ I shook my head, following him out of the store. ‘It’s payback.’

‘Birthday present,’ he called over his shoulder.

‘Payback,’ I insisted adamantly, almost tripping over my own feet as I hurried to catch up with him out on the street. ‘Dude, that is one of the coolest things I’ve ever done. You are not taking it away with some nonsense about a birthday present. It is payback.’ I lifted the bags to emphasize my point.

Nate shook his head as he grinned. ‘Babe, it was the coolest thing you’d ever done until you admitted it was the coolest thing you’ve ever done.’ He laughed at my mulish expression. ‘Fine,’ he conceded. ‘It was payback.’

As we headed down Princes Street we were quiet in the slowly thickening crowds of pedestrians, until finally my good manners got the better of me and I said softly, ‘Thank you for my early birthday present.’

A lot of women turned their heads to watch Nate Sawyer laugh hard at me before throwing his arm around my shoulders to cuddle me into his side.

I had to admit … it was a pretty good place to be.

The bouncer at Club 39 drank me in from head to foot and then murmured a flirtatious ‘Evenin’, darlin’ ’ as he moved aside to let me through the door. I did my best not to flush at the appreciative gleam in his eyes. Instead my legs shook as my heels clacked against the stone floor of the entrance. I was such a nervous wreck about tonight I’d ended up running late and had to text Jo to let her know I’d just meet her, Ellie, and the guys at the bar. It was the bar that both Jo and Joss used to work in, and we often went there socially because they still knew most of the staff and we could almost always get a table.

Honestly, it wasn’t my favorite place to hang out. It was dark and crowded, and because it was a basement bar it was a little claustrophobic. The furniture was sparse and uncomfortably modern, and the dance floor was the size of my tiny kitchen. There was a hint of pretention to Club 39 that turned me off, and frankly I was worried I wouldn’t be able to find someone here that I actually wanted to flirt with badly enough to pass Nate’s latest test and win myself a phone number.

If the thought of this evening’s goal wasn’t enough to make me want to upchuck, what I was wearing and the admiring looks I was getting from guys definitely did.

Nate was right. I did feel sexy in this outfit. I had a goodly amount of cleavage on show, my waist looked tiny, and my hips über curvy. The top and skirt accentuated all the positive aspects of my figure and hid the negative. I’d also spent a lot longer on my makeup than usual, highlighting my pale eyes with smoky eye shadow and plumping my lips with dewy lip gloss. My hair was easy because I actually had good hair. It fell down my back in sultry dark waves that were perfect for the outfit.

Altogether I was feeling very Marilyn Monroe in it. That didn’t mean I knew how to handle going from conservative to super vixen.

I ignored the attention my outfit was getting – something Nate would be pissed at, considering I was supposed to be throwing flirty smiles around – and my hand tightened on my new clutch as I searched the bar for my friends.

I found them in the corner, already sitting on the strange leather cuboid that was supposed to be a couch. Ellie was her usual sophisticated chic in a pale pink shift and silver stilettos, and Jo was her usual sexy glamour in a figure-hugging electric blue dress and matching high-heeled sandals. They were sitting with their fiancés, laughing at something Nate was saying as he leaned his elbows on his knees, cradling a beer in his hands. Adam was wearing a designer suit that fit him perfectly, while Cam wore dark jeans and a Ramones T-shirt. Nate was wearing a blue dress shirt and black slacks.

All three of them were droolworthy.

As I approached the table I kept expecting them to look up and smile and welcome me. Instead, Ellie, Jo, and Cam looked up, stared right through me, and glanced away before sharply turning back to me with sudden recognition. Adam’s and Nate’s eyes soon followed.

Jo’s stunning face broke into a massive grin. ‘Oh, my God, Olivia, you look … amazing.’

I fidgeted, completely uncomfortable under their perusal. ‘Uh, thanks. Moving on.’ I grinned goofily and was about to make my way to Ellie’s side to sit down when Nate grabbed my hand and maneuvered me beside him. I smiled at him and then instantly shivered at the way he was checking me out. Finally our eyes met.

‘You look insanely fuckable.’

I laughed, trying not to flush. ‘As always, I’m charmed by you, Nathaniel.’

‘You have such a way with words, Nate,’ Ellie agreed dryly.

Adam grunted. ‘He’s worse than Braden.’

Nate shrugged and took a swig of beer before replying lazily, ‘I say it how I see it.’

Attempting to let Nate’s blunt compliment bolster my nerves, I began to search the bar for my victim.

Target?

Okay, that didn’t sound any better.

I need a drink.

I gestured to their glasses. ‘Another round?’

Adam immediately stood up and edged past the small table we were crowded around. ‘I’m buying. Corona and lime?’

Usually that was my drink, but tonight I decided I needed something a wee bit stronger. ‘Talisker and ginger ale. On the rocks.’

He set off to the bar, and I felt Jo’s eyes on me.

‘You okay?’ I asked.

‘Aye. Are you? Whisky?’

‘I just feel like something a little different tonight.’ I looked away again, searching. There had to be a guy who elicited some kind of visceral reaction in me. Enough of one anyway that I’d want to strike up a flirtation with him.

The smell of Nate’s cologne drifted over me as he leaned in to murmur in my ear, ‘See anything you like?’

It took a lot of self-control to stop myself from turning to him, raking my eyes over him pointedly, and purring back, ‘Definitely, baby.’

However, I wasn’t ballsy enough or cool enough to do that. Maybe later, with a few fingers of whisky in my bloodstream, I’d be ballsier.

‘I’m looking,’ I told him quietly. ‘I feel like I’m going to throw up all over my new shoes.’

‘Please don’t. I know how much they cost.’

I grinned, my eyes roaming the bar. ‘I’ll try not to, for your sake.’

‘Appreciated.’

For the life of me I couldn’t see anyone, but I wasn’t actually concentrating too greatly. With Nate’s thigh pressed alongside mine, and his cologne lingering in the air around me, I found myself distracted by how aware I was of him. Of course, I was always aware of him, but now I was aware of him in a way I was always aware of someone I was attracted to.

I stiffened at the sudden realization.

Oh, boy.

‘What?’ Nate’s fingers curled around my wrist, drawing my gaze to his face again. He was so close I could probably count every single long thick eyelash that framed those seductive eyes of his.

I scrambled for a reason to explain the sudden tension in my body, my eyes flying back to the bar. They stopped on a tall blond guy who bore a mild resemblance to Benjamin. ‘I found him.’ I jerked my head in the guy’s direction. He was standing just away from the bar, drinking a pint of lager and laughing with two of his friends as they checked out the girls around them. He wasn’t amazingly gorgeous, but he had an attractive smile and nice broad shoulders.

‘Good. Now, go up to the bar to retrieve your drink from Adam, and start flirting with the guy you’ve picked out.’

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Jo studying the two of us carefully as Ellie and Cam chatted loudly over the music. Feeling the blood heat in my cheeks at the thought of Jo, or anyone, discovering what we were up to, instead of asking Nate for advice on how to start up a flirtation like I really wanted to, I just nodded mutely and stood up.

I smiled at the girls as I passed them, ignoring their inquiring eyes. I threaded my way through the crowd, trying to put a swing in my hips like Jo did when she was wearing heels. My heart was pounding so hard that the blood whooshed in my ears, and I was pretty sure if I said one word it would come out in a trembling garble. On shaking legs, I approached Adam, who was standing near the end of the bar and near my target.

‘Hey.’ I slipped in at his side and spotted my glass of whisky on the bar. ‘Mine?’

‘Yeah, I was bringing it over.’

‘No need.’ I grabbed it and tipped its contents down my throat, my eyes watering with the burn. I patted my chest and gave a little cough. ‘Woo!’ The burn began to dissipate, leaving a nice heat that rose in my chest. Leaning over the bar and ignoring Adam, who was staring at me like he’d never seen me before, I tapped Alistair, Jo and Joss’s ex-colleague, on the shoulder. He turned from pouring a pint and smiled in recognition.

‘Olivia, what can I get for you?’

‘Another Talisker and ginger ale on the rocks.’ I slapped the money on the counter. ‘Keep the change.’

He took the money with one hand while he slid the pint to his customer.

‘Eh, are you okay?’ Adam frowned at me.

I nodded rapidly. ‘Never better.’ I cut a look at my target out of the corner of my eye to make sure he was still there.

Yup.

Okay.

I sucked in a deep breath, trying to tamp down the riot of nerves in my belly.

Turning my head as if I were casually checking out the club, I let my eyes pass over him and then come back. He caught the movement and looked at me, a spark of interest in his eyes.

That was good.

I smiled and he smiled back.

That was better.

Leaning around the bar so my cleavage became a bit of a focal point, I asked, ‘I’ve seen you around the library, right?’

The blond stepped closer to me and away from his friends, still smiling as he checked me out. His gaze dropped to my chest for a few seconds longer than was polite and then came back to my face. ‘Library?’

‘The university. I’m a librarian there. You’re a postgrad, right?’

His grin widened. ‘No, but now I wish I was. I don’t remember librarians like you when I was at university.’ He had a sexy English accent and definitely seemed interested.

I might actually pass the test.

‘Here you go, Olivia.’ Alistair slid my drink toward me and as he did I met Adam’s eyes. He was looking between me and the guy as if unsure of whether I’d invited the attention or not. To reassure him I smiled, gave a flirty shrug, and deliberately turned back to my target.

‘So it’s Olivia?’ He’d braced an elbow on the bar, bringing our bodies closer. So close that even in heels I was tipping my head back to look into his eyes.

‘Yeah. And you are?’

‘Will.’ He held out a hand for me to shake, which I did, quite liking the feel of his strong hand wrapped around mine.

Yeah, I could definitely do this.

‘Is that an American accent?’ His eyes searched my face with interest.

‘Yeah. I was raised in the States, but my dad’s Scottish, so we moved back recently.’

‘How do you like it?’

I grinned and answered honestly, ‘It’s been great so far.’

Will dipped his head, his blue eyes glittering with sexual intent that surprised me. It shouldn’t have, since that’s what I was hoping for, but still … I didn’t feel that comfortable if I was honest with myself. I didn’t know this guy and I didn’t know how he’d react to harmless flirting. For some people there was a fine line between feeling flirted with and feeling like you were being sexually led on. Especially if you were in fact just an experiment … and were indeed being led on. ‘This is going to sound really forward and cheesy, but has anyone ever told you that you have the most amazing eyes?’

Yes. Nate Sawyer did. And it sounded a lot better coming from him.

I looked down and then glanced back up at him from under my lashes. ‘Thank you,’ I murmured and then casually twisted my head to look back over at my friends.

Nate was standing near the table, but a short, slender and well-formed blonde was practically pressed up against him, and he dipped his head to her ear to be heard over the music, his lips brushing her skin.

I shivered, feeling cold, and the nerves in my stomach turned to ash.

He wasn’t even aware that I was doing well on his test. There was a pretty blonde girl with slim hips and a gorgeous face pressing her body against his, so why would he be aware of anything I was doing? Heat, and this time I was pretty sure it was the heat of hurt and anger, burned under my skin, and I looked away, only to catch Jo’s eye. She stared at me for a second and then glanced back at Nate. When she returned her attention to me, I could see the concern in her expression, so I smiled at her like I hadn’t a care in the world and turned back to Will.

He was frowning.

Great.

‘Is that your boyfriend?’ he asked, tipping his chin in Nate’s direction.

‘No.’ I rushed to assure him. ‘They’re all just my friends.’

Relaxing, he said, ‘So you are single?’

‘I’m single.’ So single it wasn’t funny. ‘You are, right?’

‘Hard to believe it, but yeah.’ He gave a little self-deprecating laugh, and I relaxed too, liking his answer.

‘So, what is it you do, Will?’

‘I’m an engineer.’

Intrigued, I took a sip of my whisky, nursing it now that I felt more calm. ‘Tell me about that.’

And as it turned out that was pretty much the way to a guy’s heart. Or at least to Will’s. For the next thirty minutes I asked about him, his interests, his work, his hobbies, all the while smiling and giving him the impression that everything he said was fascinating.

I had him eating out of my hand.

However, if it hadn’t been a test I’d have given up ten minutes before then. I kept waiting for Will to ask me questions about myself, but for the most part he seemed happy to revel in my attention.

Getting bored, I shrugged with mock reluctance. ‘I really should get back to my friends … but …’ Be brave, Soda Pop. ‘Can … can I have your number?’

Will grinned and held out his hand. ‘Give me your phone.’

Opening my clutch, I pulled out my cell and felt the relief swamp me as Will typed his number into it. When he handed it back to me, he curled his hand around mine and gently tugged me forward, holding me to him as his head descended.

I stood frozen as he pressed his mouth to mine.

Then Nate and his blonde popped into my head and I angrily let my lips part.

Will kissed me, his tongue lightly touching mine.

It wasn’t a bad kiss. In fact, technically he was a good kisser.

But I felt nothing.

Pulling back, I smiled a little shyly, which he seemed to like, and I said, ‘I’ll call you.’

Once he let me go, I ignored the grins his friends threw me and turned on my heel to head back to my table.

Nate, no longer with the blonde, was watching me with an unfathomable expression on his face. My eyes quickly darted over him to the others. Cam and Adam were grinning boyishly at me, Ellie was biting her lip to stem her own immature little smile, and Jo looked confused.

‘What was that?’ she asked, looking at my phone.

I waved it, and filled my voice with amusement and nonchalance as I replied, ‘I got myself a number.’ My eyes flicked to Nate and he gave a chin lift, silently beckoning me to him.

I sat down next to him and waited, but he didn’t say anything until the others started talking among themselves. ‘Enjoy yourself?’ he asked quietly, his eyes searching mine.

I shrugged. ‘I passed your little test.’

His dark eyes flicked back to the bar, where Will was still standing with his friends. I waited for some kind of reaction, but his expression was blank when he turned back to me. ‘I didn’t say you had to kiss a stranger.’

‘No. But I did.’

‘Seems I’ve got an overachiever on my hands.’

I shrugged.

We were quiet for the rest of the night, I think mostly because I was lost in my own thoughts. When it was time to head home, as usual Nate insisted on walking me. I hugged the girls good-bye and said good night to the guys, then followed Nate down George Street in the gorgeous heels that were starting to pinch.

‘So …’ I tried for breezy. ‘It looked like you got a number tonight.’

‘The blonde.’

I snorted. ‘Is that her name?’

He slanted me ‘a look.’ ‘It’s the only name I need to know.’

In that moment I really had to try to remember why he was the way he was so I didn’t call him on his asshattery. Tonight he would drop me off at my flat and then he’d call up the blonde girl, go meet her wherever, screw her, leave her, and then delete her number from his phone.

It was not a good way to live, but it was the way he chose to live, and I had to respect his decisions. If he was just your regular old player I’d give him a lecture until his ears bled, but every time I thought of it now, I thought of the tattoo he had inscribed across his chest.

The closer we got to my flat, however, the more uneasy I grew, and as I remembered the hurt and fury that had ripped through me at the sight of him flirting with the blonde, it occurred to me that maybe it wasn’t that I was uneasy at his choices, but at the thought of him leaving me to go screw some stranger.

I didn’t even want to analyze that.

Yet, as we came to a stop outside my building, I found myself saying his name quietly.

‘Aye?’ he asked, shoving his hands in his pants pockets.

Staring into his handsome face, I reached somewhere deep within me for the courage I needed to ask him the question that had been burning inside me since we’d kissed. I led with, ‘When we kissed it helped.’

He gazed back at me, waiting silently for me to make my point.

I cleared my throat, taking a mental bat to the swarm of butterflies that had erupted in my belly. ‘I felt better,’ I said, attempting to explain. ‘I felt … more confident.’

‘What are you trying to say, Liv?’

Where was another whisky when I needed it?

‘Um.’ I wet my suddenly dry lips. ‘I want you … I want you to teach me how to be … good at sex.’

Nate’s focus sharpened and he asked with a surprising calmness, ‘In theory or in practice?’

‘Practice.’

The silence between us stretched so long that my butterflies were now multiplying at an unbelievable rate. Mortification and regret mingled as I began to feel awful for even asking, for putting him in that position. ‘Nate –’

‘How much have you had to drink?’

A little affronted at the insinuation, I shook my head quickly. ‘I’ve only had a few whiskies. I’m not drunk.’ I took an apologetic step toward him. ‘Look, I’m sorry if I’ve made you uncomfortable. I didn’t mean to. We can –’

Nate pressed a silencing finger against my lips and I abruptly shut up. ‘You are one of my closest friends. I don’t want to do anything that might ruin that.’

Ignoring certain feelings – and by ‘ignoring’ I mean shoving them into the deep, dark depths of me – I concentrated purely on the thought of my own chrysalis as I hurried to assure him. ‘If I promised it wouldn’t, would you think about it? I just … I want to feel like I know what I’m doing. If I do, I feel like I’d be able to approach Benjamin with confidence, knowing that if he said yes to a date and afterward, if the date went there, it wouldn’t be this traumatic, nerve-racking thing for me. I trust you, Nate. And it wouldn’t exactly be a hardship,’ I added with a small smile, which he returned with one of his own.

‘So, let’s get this straight. You want me to fuck you in order to teach you how to fuck another guy?’

‘You make it sound so sordid.’

With a sigh, he leaned forward and pressed a sweet kiss to my forehead. ‘Go to bed, babe. If you still feel the same way in the morning, ask me again.’

‘It was hard enough asking you the first time,’ I muttered under my breath as I turned to unlock the door to my building.

Nate heard and I felt his strong hand on my hip, his heat at my back as his breath whispered over my ear. ‘It was brave, Liv.’

I looked back at him, a small grateful smile on my lips.

‘Dutch courage or real courage, I guess we’ll find out tomorrow,’ Nate said.

And then he was gone, and the cold wind rushed over my skin as he left me unprotected at the door. I hurried inside, my heart fluttering as though a thousand of the butterflies in my stomach had escaped into my chest to cause havoc there too.

Those butterflies kept me company the whole damn time I struggled to fall asleep that night.