Deadlock

Chapter Eleven

The sun was still tucked behind the distant hills when Nelson set his tiny plane down on the landing strip Luciano Maglieri had built on the outskirts of his ranch. Marriage to the Alpha’s daughter had brought Luciano a small fortune — and a father-in-law anxious to visit his first grandchild.

Carmen had fallen asleep somewhere over Oklahoma, driven by exhaustion and lulled by the warmth and silence provided by the Cessna’s magical enhancements. Nelson made a tidy living as a supernatural taxi, and Alec couldn’t blame the shifters who’d rather pay for a private flight than endure hours in a cramped space, surrounded by humans.

Of course, it meant Nelson didn’t have time to stick around waiting for them. He pulled off his headset as soon as they were stopped and nodded toward the two trucks pulling toward them. «Looks like Maglieri’s waiting for you. I’ve got to get out to California for a pickup, but y’all just give me a holler when you need a ride back home. I’ll juggle things around. Make it work.»

Alec nodded and twisted in his seat. «Carmen, honey? We’re here.»

«I’m up.» She blinked and lifted her head, the red imprint of the seat standing out on her cheek. «Yeah, I’m up.»

She was rumpled, red-eyed and entirely disheveled, and it was adorable. Endearing. Less endearing was the fact that he was a forty-four-year-old man thinking words like adorable in the middle of a damn crisis. Get a grip, idiot. «Don’t have to stay up for long. It’s not even five. I’m sure no one will mind if we sleep for a couple hours.»

«I used to be able to do this,» she said ruefully. «Now I have regular shifts with occasional call. Working for Franklin has spoiled me.»

Nelson laughed. «Jake and Frank have gone soft. All this nice, cushy civilian living. I could tell you some stories from back in the day…»

God only knew what Franklin had already told her about their less-than-glorious days as supernaturals hiding in a very human army — or worse, their even less glorious days as guns for hire. «Thought you needed to get to California.»

Carmen chuckled as she gathered her bag and rose. «Mr. Nelson, if you consider them soft, then you must be far scarier than you appear to be.»

Nelson flashed her a flirtatious grin that had Alec’s fingers curling toward his palm. The urge to hit him didn’t diminish when he affected a southern drawl so «good ole boy» it even out-did Jackson. «Well, ma’am, that’s ’cause all that growlin’ just lets people know they’re comin’.»

Alec bit back a growl — barely. «We’ll call you.» Then he got the hell out of the plane before he punched his friend in the face.

Luciano climbed out of the first pickup, bleary-eyed and unshaven, and stopped short when he got a good look at Alec’s face. «Welcome to Wyoming. Got the guesthouse all set up for you.» He nodded to Carmen. «Ma’am.»

«Carmen Mendoza.» She held out a hand.

Luciano glanced at Alec again, a quick, almost furtive look, before shaking her hand quickly. «There’s room for all of us in this truck, but Dr. Mendoza’ll have to squeeze into the backseat.»

Shoving her into the back wasn’t the polite thing to do, but it would put her farther away from Luciano, and the boy wasn’t a fool. After thirty-six hours together, Carmen had Alec’s scent on her skin in a way a shower wouldn’t erase, and his temper was legendary.

Plus, he had kidnapped the kid and locked him in a cage.

Everyone was watching him, waiting for a response. The wind held a bitter edge, a hint of snow even in mid-April. The most important thing was getting Carmen someplace warm. He took her bag and his own and dropped them into the bed of the truck. «I’ll be fine in the back.»

«Your legs are longer,» she urged. «Sit in the front.»

Luciano ignored them both in favor of climbing into the truck, and Carmen followed suit by opening the half-door that led to the tiny backseat. Once in the truck, Alec did his best to polish up his manners. «Thanks for letting us come up here with no notice.»

Luciano laughed. «I thought Michelle as much as ordered you up here.»

«She lit a fire under Gus’s ass, but I wasn’t sure if that was on purpose.»

The other man’s humor faded with a quick look at the rearview mirror. «I think it might have been, yeah.»

So much for that hope. Alec forced a change of topic to keep his fear from growing strong enough for Carmen to sense. «I tried to call Nicole before we left, but it went straight to voicemail. I’m guessing Kat couldn’t talk Nicole and Derek out of flying down there to check on her?»

«They left yesterday. Last night.»

He wished Kat all the luck in the world talking her cousin down. At least it would keep her out of trouble…and he wouldn’t have to deal with Nicole’s smartass commentary on his too-obvious concern for Carmen. «What about the Alpha?»

«Someone escaped from Conclave custody, Jacobson. The Alpha flew back to New York to deal with the fallout.»

So the disappearance of Kat’s attacker was being taken seriously. One less thing he had to worry about. «Michelle didn’t want to see us right off, did she? I could use a couple hours of shut-eye.»

«She’s asleep.» This time, he looked away from the rough ranch road long enough to turn back and smile at Carmen. «Late breakfast around ten?»

«Thank you,» she murmured.

Five hours to get some sleep. Alec could only hope that would be enough to deal with whatever came next.

Michelle Peyton Maglieri didn’t look like she’d been up all night with a two-week-old baby.

Carmen never would have known, except that the proof of it lay beside Michelle in a white bassinet, drowsing as she sipped her herbal tea. He was small, maybe too small to have been delivered at term, but he looked healthy. Strong.

She forced her attention back to the Seer. «You didn’t have to see me so early, but thank you.»

Michelle smiled, warm but a little worn around the edges. «He’ll be up in a while anyway, and you would have heard him from the guesthouse.»

«He’s beautiful.»

«I think so.» Michelle set down her cup and reached out to smooth the edge of the blanket before touching her son’s cheek. «I admit to my share of maternal bias. But you didn’t come all this way to see my son.»

«No,» she admitted. «I’m here because of magic I didn’t ask for and know nothing about.»

Michelle faced Carmen. A tiny crease appeared between her eyebrows as she narrowed her eyes. «Yes. It’s still tangled around you. Powerful magic, and reckless. I was afraid of that.»

How could she explain the lengths to which her father had gone, whatever his reasons? «Is it…dangerous?»

«Yes.» Gentle, but uncompromising. «Trying to make a shapeshifter with magic is no safer than trying to turn a human through violence. It’s a hundred times more dangerous when there’s already magic involved. In your case, more than one kind of magic.»

Carmen willed her hands to wait until she’d set her cup aside before they began trembling. «Dangerous to me or to others?»

«Potentially both.» Michelle held out her hands. «If you let me, I can put shields in place. A temporary measure, but it will protect you and the people around you until I can figure out how to unweave the spell.»

The Seer was a brand-new mother, and a closer look revealed the beginnings of dark circles of exhaustion under her eyes. «Will it wait?»

«For a day or two. Mahalia is still here, and she has experience and finesse that I lack.»

The spell her father had paid for was fractured, broken. It would take a Seer and another witch, one Alec had talked about with deep respect, to dissolve the shards of magic that could still make her bleed.

Carmen knew she should be frightened—needed to be — but all she felt was numb. «You and your husband are very kind for having me here.»

Michelle’s lips pressed together, and the first hint of emotion broke through her excellent shields — pain. «Our society seems to have no boundaries in how far it will go to protect status and prejudice. My child lost his father, Alec lost his wife…and you could have died. Anything I can do to stop them is more selfish than selfless, believe me.»

«Whatever your reasons, I’m grateful.»

«It’s noth—»

A tiny cough drifted up from the bassinet and, in one heartbeat, the confident Seer melted away, replaced by a frantic new mother who lifted her son into her arms with an expression that bordered on panic.

The baby fussed at being woken so unceremoniously, and Carmen watched Michelle for a moment before rising from her chair. «May I look at him?»

«He’s had a cough…» After a split-second hesitation, Michelle held him out. «I know you’re not a pediatrician, but do you think I should call for the doctor? There’s a witch my father has on retainer.»

«Nah, let’s see the little guy.» Carmen nestled the baby in one arm and peeled back his blanket. His skin was a healthy pink, with none of the blue tinge that would accompany inadequate oxygenation. «Has he been wheezing with the cough?»

«No, no wheezing. It hasn’t been too bad, but he was born early…»

The baby looked okay, but Carmen asked a few more questions, more to be thorough than anything. Michelle’s answers confirmed her suspicions, and Carmen smiled as she tickled him on the cheek. «He’s healthy. Yeah, you’re doing just fine, aren’t you?»

Michelle dropped back into her chair with a relieved sigh. «The witch has politely warned me against overreacting. Intellectually, I understand, but it doesn’t make it easier.»

«They’re tiny and helpless, and that’s scary all on its own.» Carmen rocked the baby slowly and turned her attention to Michelle. «What about you? How are you doing?»

«Fine, aside from the lack of sleep. Shapeshifters can heal from a lot, but not exhaustion.» Her brown eyes drifted shut. «I’m told this is a natural state for a new mother.»

«I was almost a teenager when my mother had her youngest. I remember.»

Michelle rubbed at her face and smoothed her hair. «It’s making me scattered. I can’t remember if I’ve explained why the spell they’ve tried to use is so dangerous.»

«Because I’m already part wolf?»

«Yes. And not just that — you’re from a strong bloodline.» Michelle opened her eyes and gave Carmen a look that seemed almost apologetic. «One of my jobs as the Conclave’s Seer was knowing everything about the council members. Strengths that could be used and weaknesses that could be exploited.»

It wasn’t a secret. It couldn’t be, not when her uncle made sure everyone knew about Julio, the wolf born to a fully human mother. «My family doesn’t try to hide the strength of that blood. Quite the opposite.»

«I know. Which is why this was incredibly reckless. There’s a reason wolves don’t have their human offspring changed. The power in the change is all consuming. Someone with only a bit of shapeshifter blood might come through all right, but the magic in the change is linked to the one who made you. If their magic has to fight the magic already inside you, there’s no room for anything human.»

It was the most authoritative discussion of the spell that she was bound to get now that the witch was dead, and some tiny flame of hope within Carmen died. It shouldn’t still hurt, damn it, because she’d already told herself the hard truth about her family and her place in it, already forced herself to face it.

A gentle hand settled on her arm. «I’m sorry.»

Carmen shook her head and shifted the child she held back into his mother’s arms. «It’s not news. It’s — it’s something I should have understood a long time ago.»

«But not something easy to understand. Not something you should have to understand.»

Definitely not, but it didn’t change reality or the truth of her situation. «If this magic is going to be taxing for you, then you should wait as long as you can. I don’t want to trespass on your hospitality too long, but if you might hurt yourself doing this—»

Michelle shook her head and cut her off. «No, not at all. I have the power to spare, even as tired as I am. But Mahalia… She’s the magical equivalent of a scalpel. I’m more of a claymore. You need a little bit of both.»

«Okay.» Carmen took a deep breath. «When?»

«Tomorrow, I think.» Michelle rose and tucked her son back into his bassinet. «A day to prepare, and a day afterwards to be sure there are no lasting effects. Can you spare three days?»

«If I won’t be in the way.»

«Only if you don’t mind living at the whim of a two-week-old who can be heard halfway to Laramie.»

Carmen’s cheeks heated. «Your husband told me I could put my things out in the guesthouse, if that’s all right.»

Michelle pursed her lips, almost as if she was holding back a laugh. «Shapeshifter boys don’t always play well together. Luciano and Alec have…a bit of a rocky history. Alec will probably be more comfortable in the guesthouse, and more comfortable with you there too.»

Of course, the Seer would have figured out their situation just as quickly as anyone else. «It seemed to be a bit of a territorial issue.»

«So much of our lives can be.» She hesitated, then tilted her head. «May I ask a personal question?»

«Of course.»

«Will you regret not becoming a wolf?»

It stopped Carmen cold, because she hadn’t considered it. She’d thought about how she might handle it if it happened, of course, but only as how she would deal with the inevitable complications. Only how she’d survive with her sanity intact.

She’d never thought she might want to become a wolf, not once. She’d spent too much time avoiding what it meant that she carried wolf blood at all, and becoming part of that society…

Isn’t that what you’ve done? Inviting Alec into her bed, her life, meant that she would never be able to truly separate herself from wolf society. He existed on the rebellious edge of that world…but he was still in it.

And he’d already told her it was a dangerous place. Maybe becoming a wolf would help her stay safe in the midst of that chaos.

Carmen found herself shaking her head. «No. No, I won’t regret it. There’s only one reason I’d even consider wanting to become a wolf and — and it’s a bad reason. I can’t change myself like that for someone else. I won’t.» And if Alec cared about her at all, he wouldn’t want that either.

Michelle’s smile held more than a little relief. «I’m glad. Because it could be that the only way we can fix this will be to twist the spell in on itself. Turn it from danger to protection. It would mean you could never be changed, not even if you chose to.»

Even with her decision made, Carmen expected a measure of panic at the finality Michelle described, but it never came. «I’m okay with that.»

A short nod. «Do you have any more questions?»

She probably wanted to rest while her baby did, so Carmen shook her head and rose. «Thank you, but no. I think I’ll go lie down for a while.»

«Make yourself at home. If you need anything at all, please let me know.»

With Carmen safely ensconced in Michelle’s sitting room and Luciano off dealing with some sort of ranch emergency, Alec sought out the one familiar face he hadn’t seen in far too long.

He found his cousin in the kitchen, wrestling with a pan, packages of cream cheese piled high on the counter beside him. «Making cheesecake tonight.»

Gus hadn’t changed much. He was still large, blunt and about as pretentious as a stack of bricks. It made him a welcome relief from the rest of the Jacobson clan. «That’s a lot of cream cheese.»

Gus snorted. «I guess that means asking you for help with this damn springform thing is out of the question.»

As if he knew what a springform thing was—presumably the round pan Gus was glaring at. «Depends on what you want to do with it. Carmen could probably set you on the right track, though.»

«Yeah? She good in the kitchen?»

«Kept me from starving.»

Gus dropped the round piece of metal on the counter and eyed Alec. «Are you gonna let me meet her?»

It shouldn’t have brought protective rage bubbling to the surface. Maybe the magic was affecting him too, triggering an instinctive reaction that went far beyond hot sex and enjoyment of her company. Hadn’t he spent hours explaining the mating urge to Derek and Andrew, fighting to explain the inexplicable? Carmen might not be a wolf, but she felt like one.

A nice, easy explanation that would give him an excuse for running through half a box of condoms with her. It didn’t explain the fact that his cousin — his friend — felt like a threat.

«Settle down, Alec. I didn’t ask if I could see her naked.»

Maybe he could break the pan over his cousin’s head. «Back off. It’s been a weird fucking week.»

«Don’t doubt it in the least.» Gus smiled, a rare expression that made him look ten years younger. «It’s good to see you.»

Alec’s aggression faded a little. «Good to see you too. When you’re not jabbing at me just to see if I’ll snap.»

«Is that what you think that was?» He laughed. «Everyone down in Louisiana goes too easy on you.»

«They probably do.» Alec leaned against the counter and took in the industrial kitchen, with its large, heavy pots that would make it easy to cook for dozens. «I never realized just how serious Luciano took this ranching business. I always thought he was a city boy, playing at being a cowboy.»

«Luke? Hell, no. It’s a solid operation. He’s got one Crabbet that’s fetching a stud fee you wouldn’t believe.»

He’d long since written Luciano off as a spineless mama’s boy, but the kid had showed some pluck in the last year. He’d stood up to his family and the whole damn Conclave by marrying Michelle and taking another man’s child under his protection. That their marriage was one of convenience and polite distance was well known. That Luciano had feelings for the woman who had made it gently clear she could never return them was more of a secret.

And a tragedy. It was hard not to respect a man who’d stomp on his own heart to do the right thing. «Sometimes I almost miss ranch life. I haven’t been back to Texas in…ten years, maybe.»

«Me neither.» Gus picked up the pan again. This time, he managed to fit a piece of glass in the bottom and lock a lever mechanism in place. «You’d think the damn state would be big enough for us to go and still avoid our family, wouldn’t you?»

«My father’s probably got spies posted on every road in, waiting for his chance to ambush me on his turf.»

«Good reason to stay away, if you ask me.»

«Agreed. You could come down and visit me, you know. New Orleans is…»

«Interesting?» Gus supplied with a raised eyebrow. «I’ve got some time off coming. Maybe I’ll do that.»

«And maybe I’ll put you to work, helping me save the world.» Alec glanced at his watch, then toward the door. «I suppose if I go and check on them, I’ll get kicked back out.»

«If you’re lucky.» A large bowl clattered on the countertop. «Your woman’s safe. Michelle will help her.»

«My woman.» He said it without meaning to, and Christ, it felt too good. «Better not call her that where she can hear.»

«Why not?» The question was more matter-of-fact than probing. «Hasn’t she figured it out yet?»

A good fucking question, and one he wasn’t feeling a pressing need to discuss with her. «She’s not a wolf.»

«Does she know wolves, though? And, more to the point, does she know you?»

«She’s getting there.» Alec crossed his arms over his chest and gave his cousin a look. «If no one scares her off.»

Gus cracked an egg with a chuckle. «If you haven’t terrified her with your scowling, she’s not going anywhere. Trust me on that.»

«You’re awful amused. Truth be told, I thought you’d be a little more pissy about me taking up with a Mendoza.»

The second egg disintegrated in Gus’s hand, and he turned a shocked stare to Alec. «Tell me that’s not Diego Mendoza’s daughter.»

Oh, shit. «You thought she was a random Mendoza tied up in a shapeshifter mess?»

«Hell, all Michelle mentioned was some sort of magic spell gone wrong. I didn’t put two and two together.» Gus rinsed his hand with a grimace. «You don’t do things by half, do you?»

Alec watched his cousin pick eggshells out of the bowl. «Didn’t plan to do it at all. It’s complicated.»

«Guess so.» Gus dropped the shells in the sink and cursed again. «Couldn’t think of a more dangerous place to stick your dick? There’s a garbage disposal right here. I’ll give you two a minute alone.»

Gus wasn’t stupid, which meant he couldn’t have been surprised when Alec drove a fist into his jaw.

Carmen waited for Alec in the front room of the guesthouse. When he returned, one eye was swollen and bruised. There were red blotches on his cheeks and jaw, and split skin on his knuckles that had barely healed over.

She took a deep breath and asked the last question she wanted to hear the answer to. «What happened?»

Alec frowned. «What happened when?»

«What happened to your face?»

«Oh.» He poked at his bruised cheek and made a rude noise. «Gus is faster than he used to be — or I’m slowing down. I used to whup him nine times out of ten when we were kids.»

Don’t be paranoid, Carmen. «Do you two beat each other up a lot?»

Alec’s amusement faded, and he reached out and looped an arm around her. «A fair bit. Sometimes the only way to deal is to blow off steam.»

«Okay.» The temptation to lean into his embrace was great. «Michelle thinks she’s figured out a way to fix the spell.»

«Yeah?» He gave her a little tug and guided her toward the cozy living room and its worn but comfortable furniture. «What’d she say?»

«That she has to do something to the magic. Turn it around on itself and make it into something else.»

Alec dropped onto the couch and pulled her down, tucked close against his side. «You’re nervous about something. You wanna talk or is it easier to just let it be?»

«I don’t think I have that option.» She had to stand, to get a little space so she could order her words. «When Michelle and Mahalia do whatever it is they’re going to do, that’s it. The end of the spell. No more potential for me to become a wolf. In fact, it can’t happen. And I’m good with that…I think.»

«You think?» His expression remained inscrutable. «Something’s still holding you back?»

«I thought it was you.» She’d make them both crazy if she tried to talk while she paced the floor, so she perched on the edge of the coffee table. «I mean, the first thing that occurred to me was that you might want it. But then I started wondering why I thought so.»

He stayed very, very still. «I’m a controlling bastard to be sure, Carmen, but not that much of one.»

Her heart skipped. She was fucking it up, making it sound like she was placing blame when she was only trying to explain. «The night my father left my mother, I heard them arguing. She told him there was no way he was going to take her kids, and he said he only wanted Julio, of course.»

The line of his jaw tightened, and his fingers curled around the back of the couch, like it was the only thing keeping him from reaching for her. «No offense, sweetheart, but your father’s kind of an ass.»

So calm, but she could feel the rage brewing beneath that façade. «That’s not the bad part, Alec.» Her throat ached, and her eyes burned with tears. «I ignored the seriousness and danger of this spell because my father is responsible for it, and surely my own father wouldn’t do something that could kill me, no matter how little he cared. And then I realized what it meant.»

His eyes said he knew too, but he just nodded. «And?»

«It means I spent twenty years thinking I was nothing to him, but it’s worse. I’m less than nothing.» The tears spilled over, but she couldn’t stop them. «My own father thinks I’m better off dead than the way I am.»

«Oh, honey.» Strong hands slipped around her. «C’mere.»

She fell into his arms, into the way he held her and the comforting strength he represented. «I know you’re not like that. Really, I do.»

«You know it,» he agreed. «But do you believe it?»

She wanted to, so badly. «I believe you’re a better man than he could ever be.»

«I’m a different man.» His hand came up, fingers lifting her chin. «I’m not a good man, Carmen. But even so, I wouldn’t change you.»

She felt the undeniable truth of it, saw it in his eyes. «I know.»

«Good.» A smile finally curved his lips. «I’m out of practice at dating, but I’m pretty sure we’re going about it a little backwards.»

«I think we’re doing all right. Well, except that I just cried on you. Then there’s the ton of childhood trauma I unloaded.»

Alec shook his head. «And I gotta say, I don’t usually lock a woman in a cage until the third date.»

He was nervous, odd when she was the one burning with embarrassment. «What’s wrong?»

For a long time he didn’t speak. His hand fell to her hip, a strong grip that kept her body tight against his. «I follow my instincts. A lot of times, I get accused of doing it without thinking, and some of those times it’s true. Now, it’s true.»

«You mean me,» she said slowly. His admission didn’t scare her, but the bewilderment and fear lurking behind the words did.

«Not just you. Everything. I’ve charged into your life and I’ve dragged you halfway across the country and this isn’t a fucking date and we both know it.»

«I wanted you in my life, and you haven’t dragged me anywhere. But you’re right.» Her rational mind clamored for control, but it couldn’t overcome her heart. «It’s not just a date. I’m falling in love with you.»

His fingers tightened and purely masculine satisfaction swelled through him. Then came a slash of fear, and he shook his head. «Not now, not yet. Part of what’s got me turned around is knowing the only time you’ve ever seen me without magic clouding things up is the first day we met.»

She couldn’t fault him for doubting, not under the circumstances, but his words provided an uncomfortable reminder. «The converse is also true, isn’t it? Your instincts might tell you something entirely different about me once the magic is gone.»

«Maybe.» He touched her cheek. «A couple of rational people might think that was a good reason to slow the fuck down.»

The words made sense, but every last bit of his body language defied them. «But this isn’t a fucking date.»

«Because you’re already mine.»

Carmen laughed even as a shiver of satisfaction ran through her. «Now I’m all turned around.»

«Welcome to my world, honey.» His fingers crept under the hem of her shirt, warm and rough against her skin. «There’s no up or down, but clothing’s optional.»

No sense in fighting it, not when the slightest touch flooded her with heat. «Take me to bed.»

Alec rose and lifted her with him, hoisting her up until she wrapped her legs around his hips. «I can do that.»

In a more familiar place, she would have kissed him, trusting him to find his way blindly. Instead, she bit the side of his neck, a little harder with every step until they reached the bed.

He growled and dropped her to the mattress. «Making sure everyone knows I’m taken, are you?»

«It’ll heal.» The reality was blunt, simple. «I want you to know.»

If anything, his eyes darkened. He pulled open his belt, dragging the smooth brown leather free of his belt loops before dropping it to the floor. «Might have to do it again, just to drive the message home.»

«Whatever you need.» She whispered the promise as she unbuttoned her shirt. Alec watched her movements, and he didn’t hold himself back. She felt the spike in desire when her shirt gaped open, and the twist of hunger as his gaze traced the satin and lace of her bra.

He needed her.

All their talk had been just that — talk. Desperate words detailing what they should have been doing instead of what they wanted more than breath. Rational people would slow down, Alec had said, and it was true.

But they weren’t rational people, not about this.

She held out her arms, and he came to her.