Deadlock

Chapter Nineteen

Franklin looked like hell, and Alec had never seen him happier.

The surgery had gone on for five nightmarish hours. Alec had spent them trying to keep a mostly grown-up and thoroughly hysterical Sera from crashing into the room where spell casters, shapeshifters and doctors were systematically breaking the bones in her father’s legs. Even narcotics and Franklin’s stone-faced stoicism couldn’t keep him sedated. By the third hour, everyone in the warehouse was tensed against the next scream.

Agonizing, but fleeting. It might be weeks or months, but shapeshifter healing would repair the damage to Franklin’s body. Sera and Lily had already repaired the damage to his heart. Bandaged and pale, Lily sat on one side of his bed, his hand pressed to her cheek as she watched him in silence. Sera hovered on the other side, her quiet murmur indecipherable over the quiet beeps of machinery.

Franklin had the two people who mattered most to him, safe and sound. He had half a dozen medical professionals on hand, ready to leap if the tiniest thing went wrong. He’d be fine.

And Alec was taking Carmen home for a few hours of uninterrupted sleep on a horizontal surface if he had to drag her there by the scruff of the neck.

She pushed through the door, her face and hands scrubbed and damp. «Okay, I’m ready. Let me check on them one more time.»

Famous last words. «They’re fine, Carmen. Franklin doesn’t need anything else. And you’re not the only doctor around anymore.»

She stopped and rubbed her palms on the scrub bottoms she wore. «Right, I know. If I don’t just leave, it’ll be another hour or two. Let’s go.»

It seemed too easy, but Alec wasn’t in the mood to try his luck. One hand at the small of Carmen’s back urged her down the hallway, toward the cavernous main area.

They passed Kat and Miguel, curled up on one of the makeshift pallets and sound asleep, Kat’s tiny little computer resting on the floor under her hand. Julio sat nearby in quiet conversation with Derek and Nicole. Alec didn’t stop, not until they hit the side door and stepped out into the afternoon sun. «My truck’s a couple blocks down. Gonna have to figure out better parking around here, that’s for sure.»

«One more thing on the list.» Carmen leaned against him, letting him bolster her as they walked to his truck.

She remained silent as she climbed into the cab and buckled her safety belt. He’d already started the engine, put the truck in gear, and pulled out into the street when her hand crept across the seat and brushed his leg.

Driving with one hand was easy enough. He curled the other around her fingers, rubbing his thumb along her palm. «You did a damn good job, pulling that place together like you did. I couldn’t have managed it.»

«Most of the pieces were in place…» As the sleepy murmur died, Carmen’s eyes snapped open. «And if you ever really considered making buttons of Wesley Dade’s teeth, you should think twice.»

The transition was so jarring he blinked. «Does Wesley Dade have something to do with this?»

She smiled as her eyes drifted shut again. «It doesn’t matter. Just cut him some slack, okay?»

«Honey, you’re punch-drunk. Get some sleep. It’s a long drive back to my house.»

«Mmm. Mine is closer.»

Maybe, but only having her in his house — in his bed—would soothe the terror that had been gnawing at his gut since the first phone call about the clinic. «You care?»

«No.» She squeezed his hand. «I like your house.»

«I like you in my house.» Which she probably knew better than he did. «We’ll get there and sleep until this evening, okay?»

«Mmm,» she said again, already tumbling into sleep.

She was so tired that she slept through the long drive back to his property, and the soft sound of her rhythmic breaths eased the tension rattling inside him a little more with every minute that ticked past. They’d have two days of comparative peace, and then—

Then the bottom would fall out of the world as he knew it.

No, that was unfair. There was nothing passive about the shakedown to come. He was kicking the bottom out with both feet and trusting there’d be somewhere to land. If not, a lot of people would get hurt. Small comfort that he’d be too dead to see it.

Carmen stirred as he turned down the long gravel drive that led to his house. «You with me, honey?»

«I’m here,» she whispered, her voice low and thick. «I’ll always be here.»

His heart skipped a beat. «I know, darling. Hang on and I’ll get you into a bed.»

«I’m all right.» She straightened and squinted against the sunlight slanting through the windshield. «It’s a beautiful day.»

«Nice enough.» The grass on either side of the drive was starting to grow wild again. It’d be May before long, and if he didn’t see about having it cut, his house would look like it was parked in the middle of a savanna. «You wanna lay out in the sun instead?»

«No. It’s only that I didn’t notice it until just now.»

Hard to notice the weather when she’d been stuck inside a warehouse for the past eighteen hours. Alec eased the truck to a stop a few feet from his front porch and slid it into park. «If you can stand to eat before you pass out, I’ll find something in the fridge.»

«I’m not hungry.» Her seat belt clicked as she released it, and she climbed out of the truck and stretched.

The sun turned her caramel skin golden. Even in ugly green scrubs and a T-shirt, with her hair in a sloppy knot and shadows under her eyes, she was the most gorgeous thing on two legs. The smile felt awkward curving his lips, though God knew it shouldn’t by now. He’d been flashing it a lot since she’d wandered into his life.

It was a short walk to the porch, but he picked her up anyway. «You scared a decade off of my life, and now you’re going to let me smother you for an hour. You owe me.»

Her head fell back with a groan of protest, though she slid her arms around his neck. «Even if I didn’t mean to scare you?»

«Life’s not fair. And neither am I.»

She muffled a laugh against the side of his neck, though it quickly faded into a moan. «You may not be fair, but you smell good.»

Having her lips nuzzled against his throat was asking for trouble. «Reach down and open the door for me, would you?»

She slid her hand over the wood, feeling for the knob without raising her head, and pressed an open-mouthed kiss to his skin as she pushed open the door.

He was hard before the damn thing hit the far wall, his dick straining against the zipper on his jeans. Walking was uncomfortable. Walking with Carmen licking him was fucking well impossible. «Carmen.»

Her lips skated over his jaw. «Alec.»

The brand-new door Andrew had installed shuddered as he kicked it shut with more force than strictly necessary. In the next second, he had Carmen up against it, her long legs snug around his hips. «Don’t think I’m not already fighting the urge to rip your damn clothes off and check every inch of you to make sure you’re in one piece. If you don’t cut it the hell out, I’ll do it.»

She released him long enough to strip her T-shirt over her head, leaving her in a white cotton bra. Then she cupped his face between her hands and smiled. «I’m in one piece. And I love you.»

I love you too. But the words didn’t come, because she’d shattered his control into pieces so fine they could blow away in the wind. He couldn’t remember putting her down, but he didn’t think he’d ever forget the triumph of tearing the scrub pants off her body, or the blind relief when he slid his hands down her thighs and calves and found smooth, unblemished skin.

«I’m all right.» The murmured words didn’t penetrate so much as the feeling, the overwhelming sense of peace that matched her gentle smile. «I’m not hurt.»

The laces on her sneakers tangled under his fingers, and he snapped them with a frustrated jerk. Shoes, socks, they landed in the foyer in a haphazard circle, though one sneaker bounced down the stairs to the basement. Part of his brain marked its thudding progress as proof that time had slowed, because it seemed to take forever to skim her panties down her legs, but the shoe had barely settled on the cement floor below when he rose and turned his attention to her bra.

Simple. Gorgeous. Carmen. He fumbled with the fastening and bent the little metal hooks, but she didn’t notice. She tore at his shirt and gasped when he touched her bare skin, arching away from the door with a shudder.

Gorgeous and his. A hand between her thighs proved it, and he pushed two fingers deep into the slick, gripping heat of her pussy. Wet and ready, eager, so hot for him that he moaned as he crushed his mouth to hers.

She cried out against his lips, her nails sharp on his shoulders, and her hips bucked as pleasure welled through the foyer, a hot weight pressing in on his skin. Her gift, let free, and the boundaries between them blurred. No Alec and Carmen, just now and more.

His hands found his belt. His fly. The zipper broke and he ripped the denim, but a second later his cock was in his hand. He thrust into her, driving deep as he lifted her against the door and snarled her name.

Carmen bit her lower lip and shuddered again, her eyes glazed and unfocused. «I feel you. Everything.»

No way he’d last through one of her jaw-clenching orgasms with empathy wrapped around him tighter than the slick grip of her body. «Feel it all, sweetheart.» He caught her hand and pinned it to the door next to her head, twining their fingers together as he ground deeper. «Feel every inch of me.»

Her gaze sharpened as it met his, and the sheer adoration on her face thrilled every part of him. He clutched her thigh with his free hand and felt the bite of his fingers against her skin, felt the satisfaction she got from knowing he’d marked her. Intimacy beyond thought, beyond words or reason.

So he fell into it. Fell into her with every rough thrust, and she rewarded him with little spikes of ecstasy that shivered up his spine and whispered encouragement. She welcomed him, into her body and her heart. Open. Joyous.

His.

He buried his face against her throat and bit her, just a tease, and Carmen sucked in a sharp breath. «Yes» Throbbing pleasure tightened around them both. She was close, so close to the peak that she began to beg, whispers that quickly rose in volume as she shook.

Blood roared in his ears, pounding through him with the rhythm of their hearts. He thrust deeper, faster, chasing the perfect angle that would unravel that knot inside her and drive them both over.

And then he found it. Her head banged against the door, and her low, keening cry reached his ears a split second before the sweet rush of her orgasm hit him.

He came. Hard. Fast, out of control, riding her body’s spasms until he was spent and she was trembling. Her fingers combed through the damp hair at his temple, and every heaving breath pushed her chest closer to his.

She spoke in a whisper. «I’m sorry I scared you.»

For a second, he couldn’t remember what in hell she was talking about. «I’m just glad you’re okay. I need to keep you okay.»

Her soft laugh tickled his cheek. «Take me to bed and hold me.»

He could do that. He could do it damn near forever, which made the words easy. Right. «How about I take you to bed and love you?»

Carmen held him tighter. «Even better.»

Carmen woke to darkness and a delicious ache in her muscles that flared and subsided as she stretched gingerly under the light sheet. Alec lay beside her, his features indistinguishable until her eyes adjusted to the scant moonlight filtering through the window.

He stirred, his face still relaxed in sleep, and her heart thumped. Love. She leaned close and kissed him, her lips to the corner of his mouth, marveling at the tenderness that rose. He was strong, undeniably so, but he needed her as much as she needed him.

He murmured something, a rasping rumble more noise than words, and rolled toward her. One arm fell heavily across her waist, and her conscience stung. How often during the last day had he insisted she catch whatever sleep she could manage? She should have done the same for him.

She settled against him and stroked his bearded jaw, trying to soothe him back to sleep.

«Won’t work,» he mumbled, but the corner of his mouth curved up. «But it feels good, so you can keep at it.»

«I shouldn’t have woken you,» she whispered, «but I had to kiss you.»

«Good reason.» His hand landed on her hip, fingers spread wide.

Another muscle twinge made her groan. «Maybe we should have slept more and had less…sex.» Sex, without a condom in sight. «Oh.»

«Oh?» He still sounded sleepy. Oblivious. «You want less sex next time?»

She’d never been so mindless, so unthinking. «No,» she murmured, «but maybe more birth control.»

His hand tightened so fast she sucked in a sharp breath and grabbed his wrist. He released her with a muttered curse, then rolled onto his back. «Well. That answers that.»

Carmen rubbed her hip absently. «Answers what?»

He reached over and covered her hand, his touch soft. Apologetic. «You’re exactly the second person I’ve forgotten a condom with, and the first wasn’t an empath. She could keep her head.» He turned his head and gave her a rueful smile. «We might have to acknowledge that this could happen. A lot. Making babies is pretty much the ultimate instinctive drive.»

«Honestly? I’m surprised we lasted this long.» She kissed his shoulder with a soothing hum. «There’s a regimen I’ve been on before, and I don’t mind restarting it. It might be easier than trying to keep our heads.»

«Do you know—?» His voice turned almost hesitant. Nervousness, and a purely masculine confusion. «You’re a doctor. What are the chances — I mean, do you know if this is the right time for…?»

A quick calculation gave her an answer he’d likely be relieved to hear. «There’s a possibility,» she admitted, «but it’s a slim one. It’s a little late in my cycle for me to get pregnant.»

«Oh.» Uncertainty still twisted between them.

His ambivalence gave her pause. «Alec?»

He released his breath on a long sigh. «Sorry. Just…forgot it was possible to be anything other than overwhelmingly relieved about this shit. The last thing either of us needs is a kid to worry about, but…»

Part of him still wanted it, and she understood. They hadn’t known each other long, but she knew him. It could take months or years to tease out all the threads of someone based on what they would honestly show or tell. But she’d seen inside Alec, the deepest parts he might not be able to articulate even if he wanted to share them with her.

She knew him, and she loved him. Everything between them was new, but she couldn’t help but yearn for the chance to hold his child, to share that bond with him.

His nervousness spiked, and she gripped his hand. «I love children, and I definitely want to be a mother. If it takes a few years, that’s fine, but if it happened earlier, I wouldn’t cry.» Carmen raised her head and met his gaze. «You’d be a good father.»

Judging by the look in his eyes, her simple words had been a gift. He smiled and touched her cheek. «We can figure it out after we fix the world up a little, huh?»

«That sounds like it involves leaving this room.» Something she didn’t particularly want to do now that they’d forged a new intimacy.

«Need to get moving before too long anyway. Have to check with your brother and Kat, see if they got all the money moved around.»

Julio would never allow himself to be distracted from a task. «If they had run into a problem, he would’ve called.»

«Good. Suppose I’ll have to get used to trusting him.»

«Yes.» He knew Andrew well already, had apparently taught him everything he knew about being a wolf. «I think Julio’s relieved, in a way. It must be hard, knowing you could be doing more if you only had an idea of where to start.»

Alec smiled. «I always knew where to start. I just didn’t know how to keep going.»

Now, he did. «You’re really going to do this, aren’t you?»

«I’m really going to do this.» His hand drifted up her side, and he curled one finger in her hair. «This world the way it is… It’s hopeless. It can be hard, it can be awful…but it doesn’t get to be hopeless.»

Her chest swelled with an emotion she knew he would feel, though she gave voice to it anyway. «I’m proud of you. It’s not the easy path.»

«Don’t be proud of me yet. I’m counting on you walking that path with me.»

She rolled to her side, took his hand and pressed it to her heart. «I love you. If you have to face something, anything, you won’t do it alone.»

His brown eyes stayed serious. «Do you really know what you’re saying? This isn’t like the human government. We don’t spend four years dicking around and then worry about reelection. This is a lifetime job, and when it’s not, it’s because you’re dead, or damn near.»

Most of her family had held no dearer ambition for her. She’d avoided it, simply because she didn’t believe in it, but things were different now. Alec was different. «I’ve lived my life focusing on the bad aspects of wolf society, and I probably still haven’t seen the worst of it, but that doesn’t matter. It doesn’t change anything. Don’t you see why?» She sat and tucked her hair behind her ears. «You take care of people. That’s what you do, who you are, and I understand that. You can’t walk away from it.»

«And I won’t walk away from you.» He caught her hand and threaded their fingers together. «But you might want to walk away from this. You’ve known me two weeks. We’re walking down one damn crazy path.»

«I know you, and I love you.» Echoing her own thoughts, though it occurred to her that he might not be as certain. «Do you need more time?»

«Not a minute.» Quiet words, but no doubt shaped them, and none lingered in his heart. «I know love when I feel it, and I know how it feels to lose it. I’d marry you tomorrow, just so I wouldn’t waste a second of having you be mine.»

The declaration stole her breath. «It wouldn’t change anything. I don’t need rings or a ceremony to be yours.»

«Yeah, but you’re going to end up with both, you know.» His thumb stroked over her bottom lip. «Still time to run. If I’m on the Conclave, it means big fancy weddings and half a dozen bridesmaids and, God help us all, my mother. My mother alone should send you screaming into the night.»

Part of her was terrified of the responsibilities, the expectations. As much as Alec would have to play the political games, so would she have to deal with the social ones. «High tea with your mother doesn’t scare me nearly as much as the thought of running away.»

«Maybe you should join the Conclave,» he murmured, dragging her down against him. «That woman scares the piss out of me.»

«It should tell you how much I love you, then. I’m willing to make nice with your family.» She stretched out over him, gliding her thumb absently over his collarbone. «What about you? Can you deal with mine?»

Foreboding slashed through the room, sharp and uncomfortable. «Most of them, yeah. Your uncle — can you deal with me dealing with him?»

Not an easy question to answer. She’d flown to Atlanta to be with her Aunt Teresa and her cousin Veronica the previous year when the Alpha’s son-in-law challenged — and killed — Noah Coleman. It hadn’t mattered that Noah was an angry, awful man who’d treated them both badly. He was still their family, and they had cried when he died.

Carmen met Alec’s gaze. «If you can find a way to spare Cesar, I know you will. But don’t do it for me. He crossed a line, and we all have to be prepared for the consequences of that, even if we had nothing to do with it.»

«Then we’ll deal. Both of us.» He eased up, spilling her onto her back, and dropped a kiss to the corner of her mouth. «I wouldn’t be doing this without you. Not because you had the idea, or because you wanted it.» His lips pressed to the bare skin above her heart, soft and warm. «You believe in it. You let me feel it. You made me remember how good it is to believe.»

A sad thing to forget. Her heart ached for him. «We’ll remember,» she told him softly. «And when things get hard, we’ll remind each other.»

«That’s all I need, baby. You and me and a world of hope.»