Finding Audrey

MY SERENE AND LOVING FAMILY – FILM TRANSCRIPT

INT. 5 ROSEWOOD CLOSE. DAY

Mum, Dad and Frank are sitting round the breakfast table. Mum is reading the Mail. Dad is on his BlackBerry.

The camera zooms in on Frank. He looks thunderous and sulky.

MUM

So, Frank, what are you doing today after school?

Frank doesn’t reply.

MUM

Frank?

Frank is silent.

MUM

FRANK?

She nudges Dad with her foot. Dad looks up, bewildered.

MUM

CHRIS!

She nods meaningfully at Frank. Dad cottons on.

DAD

Frank, don’t be so rude. We live in a family here. We communicate. Answer your mother.

FRANK

(rolls eyes)

I don’t know what I’m doing after school. Not playing computer games, clearly.

MUM

Well, I want you to go through your shirts. I don’t know what happens to them. Chris, we can go through yours too.

Dad is working on his BlackBerry.

MUM

CHRIS? CHRIS?

Dad is too absorbed to hear.

FRANK

Dad? Family? Communicate? Family?

He waves a hand in front of Dad’s face and Dad finally looks up. He blinks at Frank.

DAD

No, you CANNOT go out tonight. You are grounded, young man.

He looks at the blank faces. Realizes he’s got it wrong.

DAD

I mean . . . stack the dishwasher.

(He tries again.)

I mean, put your laundry in the right basket.

(gives up)

Whatever your mother says.