Finding Audrey

So Mum’s bought me a phone. That was step one. I’ve got Linus’s number off Frank. That was step two. Now I need to call him.

I input his number and stare at it for a while. I try to imagine how I’ll start the conversation. I write down some useful words and phrases I might need. (Dr Sarah’s tip.) I visualize a positive scenario.

But I still can’t bring myself to call him. So instead I text.

Hi Linus. This is Audrey here. Frank’s sister. I still need to do my documentary and you said you would be interviewed for it. Is that still OK? Could we meet?

Thanks, Audrey.

And I’m expecting no reply, or at least a long wait, but the phone buzzes straight away and there’s his response:

Sure. When?

I hadn’t thought about that. When? It’s Saturday evening, which means we’ve got all day tomorrow.

Tomorrow? Do you want to come round here? 11 am?

I press SEND, and this time there’s a bit of a wait before he replies:

No, let’s meet at Starbucks.

A jolt of panic goes through me like white fire. Starbucks? Is he nuts? Then a second text comes through:

You have to go there anyway, right? Isn’t that your project?

But . . . but . . . but . . .

Starbucks?

Tomorrow?

My fingers are trembling. My skin feels hot. I’m breathing in for four counts and out for seven and trying to channel Dr Sarah. How would she advise me? What would she say?

But already I know what she’d say. Because she’s said it. I can hear her voice in my head, right now:

It’s time for some bigger steps.

You need to push yourself, Audrey.

You won’t know till you try.

I believe you can cope with it.

I stare at the phone till the numbers blur in front of my eyes, then type the text before I can change my mind.

OK. See you there.