Finding Audrey

As I go to bed that night I’m thinking about Linus. I’m trying to picture myself greeting him at the front door when he comes round next. Like other people do. Normal people. I mean, I know how the script should go:

‘Hey, Linus.’

‘Hey, Audrey.’

‘How’s it been going?’

‘Yeah, good.’

Maybe a high five. Maybe a hug. Definitely a pair of smiles.

I can think of about sixty-five reasons why this is not going to happen any time soon. But it might, mightn’t it? It might?

Dr Sarah says positive visualization is an incredibly effective weapon in our armoury and I should create in my mind scenarios of success that are realistic and encouraging.

The trouble is, I don’t know how realistic my ideal scenario is.

OK, yes I do: not at all.

In the ideal scenario, I don’t have a lizard brain. Everything is easy. I can communicate like normal people. My hair is longer and my clothes are cooler and in my last fantasy, Linus wasn’t even at the front door, he was taking me on a picnic in a wood. I have no idea where that came from.

Anyway. The ban is over tomorrow. Linus will be round again. And we’ll see.