Finding Audrey

Apologize. I can’t imagine Izzy apologizing. I can’t imagine Izzy saying a lot. She was never the main one. She sort of hung back and agreed and went along with Tasha. Well, let’s face it, everyone in my class went along with Tasha. Because if I was the victim, then they weren’t. Even Natalie stopped standing up for me—

No. Let’s not go there any more. Natalie was freaked out. I’ve made my peace with Natalie. It’s all good.

Tasha is the one who’s really scary. She’s the one who makes my flesh crawl. She’s bright and smart and motivated and pretty in that strong-jawed athletic way. All the teachers loved her. They loved her. You know, till they found out the truth and everything.

I’ve had a long time to think about this. And I’ve decided she did it for fun. You know. Because she could.

My theory is that Tasha will win awards one day. She’ll be some top advertising creative, selling a message to the public and getting everyone to believe it and doing it in a relentless, unremitting, really inspired way. She’ll be one of those advertisers who tricks you so you don’t even realize you’re being advertised to, you just give in and start to operate the way she wants you to. She’ll use other people then discard them. Everyone she smiles at will fall under her spell and join the team. The people who hate her will feel totally used and wretched, but who cares about them?

The real truth – which, by the way, no grown-up would ever admit to – is that probably the whole experience will do her great in life. It was, like, the most put-together project you could imagine. It was innovative. It was sustained. If it had been a GCSE project – Torment Audrey Turner Using a Variety of Imaginative Methods – she would have got A* highly commended.

I mean, yes, she got excluded in the end. But small detail, right?