Finding Audrey

MY SERENE AND LOVING FAMILY – FILM TRANSCRIPT

INT. 5 ROSEWOOD CLOSE. DAY

The camera (held by Dad) shows the playroom littered with empty Coke cans and water bottles.

Seen from behind, Frank, OLLIE, Linus and Audrey are playing LOC intensely. Mum is looking from screen to screen, peering over their shoulders and trying to follow, without success.

FRANK

Go on him. Jesus.

He clicks madly and his screen explodes in graphics.

MUM

(alertly)

What was that? Which one’s you?

LINUS

Initiate. Initiate.

AUDREY

Stay in the trees. Nooo! Ollie, you noob.

Ollie is desperately clicking, his face red.

OLLIE

Sorry.

Mum’s head is swivelling wildly from screen to screen.

MUM

Are you dead? What happens when you die? How can you keep up?

FRANK

Fireblast the fucker. Die! Die!

MUM

(shocked)

Frank!

A series of Russian swearing comes from the audio Skype link.

FRANK

Na kaleni, cyka.

MUM

What does that mean? Is that in the game?

LINUS

It’s Russian. You don’t want to know what it means.

MUM

So is that chap a Russian? Or is that you, Frank?

She points at the screen.

MUM

I mean, they all look the same to me. Do they look the same to you, Chris?

The camera (held by Dad) focuses in on a screen.

DAD (VOICE-OVER)

Of course they’re not the same. Die! Die!