Theirs to Keep

C H A P T E R T H I R T E E N

“HAVE YOU MADE A MOVE yet?” Merrick asked quietly.

Cade jerked his head around to stare at his friend. There was fire in his eyes. Anger. Surprise. And the beginnings of something that looked like fear.

They were sitting in the kitchen of their house, both in tense, irritable moods because Elle had talked them into letting her go out to the grocery store by herself.

After six months of them never letting her out of their sight and six months she’d spent recovering and gaining confidence, she’d wanted to venture out on her own, and it was making the two men nuts.

She was always with either him or Cade. Whether it was her attending his training sessions or her going into the office with Cade. She spent every waking minute with at least one of them.

Merrick worried that she would eventually get bored, but she seemed to soak up every aspect of his career as well as learn every part of his and Cade’s business.

She studied the language and terms of mixed martial arts. She learned the holds, the positions, and studied his training regimen. She poked and nagged at him when he ate something he shouldn’t. She hovered when he seemed tired after a workout. And she studied his diet, memorizing the ins and outs and how much protein he needed to take in.

In short, she’d fit in perfectly into his and Cade’s lives, and it was hard to remember what they’d ever done without her. It wasn’t something he wanted to contemplate—being without her.

Which was why today made him antsy. Maybe it felt too much like she was chafing under the constraints she was placed under. Maybe he feared she was ready to move on.

Merrick didn’t understand what she felt she needed to prove. He didn’t want her out of his sight. He knew Cade didn’t either. They both felt better when she was with them.

Elle had come a long way from the terrified, wary, broken woman they’d found in the cabinet of a gun store. She’d gained much-needed weight. The dullness and fear had receded from her eyes. She smiled spontaneously, and she was affectionate with him and Cade.

And it was driving him crazy. He wanted her. Wanted more than the role of protector. But he also knew Cade wanted the same, and it was time to address the elephant in the room.

“Of course I haven’t made a move,” Cade snapped. “Have you?”

Merrick shook his head. “You know I wouldn’t without talking to you about it and until I was comfortable that she was ready. I mean, I’m not talking sex here. I just want to take things to the next level.”

Cade let out a raspy breath that sounded like a snarl. Then he dragged a hand over the top of his head before slapping it back down on the table.

“I’ve known this was coming. That it was inevitable. Maybe I was in denial and wanted to keep on pretending that it wouldn’t come to this. I think we both know we have a problem.”

“Yeah,” Merrick agreed. “What are we going to do about it?”

Cade looked uneasy. He opened his mouth then closed it again, a sure sign he had something he wanted to say but for some reason was hesitating. Which wasn’t usual for him. He typically never had a problem stating his mind. It was one reason he and Merrick got along so well. They were both blunt people, and there was little room for misunderstandings when you had two friends who always said what was on their mind.

“Cade?”

Cade bit out a curse. “You’re going to think I’m nuts. Hell, maybe I am. This would probably never work.”

Merrick leaned forward, his brow furrowed as he frowned. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. About our situation. The way things have been so far and the fact that you and I both have a strong interest in Elle.”

“Go on.”

Cade met his gaze, his lips pursed, and then he blew out his breath, puffing out his cheeks as he expelled it all.

“What if we left things as they are now? I mean with the three of us. Only we’d take things up a notch. But the three of us would remain together. She’d be with…both of us.”

Merrick reared back, leaning against the back of his chair as he let Cade’s words sink in. Holy shit, but this hadn’t been what he’d expected at all.

He cupped a hand over his nape and rubbed hard as he struggled to make sense of the situation and, hell, just to imagine it.

“That’s assuming she’d even ever agree to such a thing,” Cade said evenly. “She still has a lot of issues to work out. All we know is that we want to be with her for the long haul. It wouldn’t be easy with just one of us. But if both of us are involved? It’s going to be ten times as hard.”

“No shit,” Merrick muttered.

“Is that all you’ve got to say?” Cade asked in frustration. “I’ve put it all out on the line. Me, us, her, our friendship.”

“This is heavy shit, man. I mean, I can’t wrap my head around it. I know such relationships exist. Hell, there was a damn documentary on one of the cable networks a few months ago.”

“Think about what it solves,” Cade said quietly. “I don’t want this to ruin our friendship. Our partnership. Your career. We’d have to be extremely careful to keep this private. The thing is, Elle trusts us both. I think she feels something for both of us. Maybe I’m reaching here, or maybe it’s wishful thinking. But I think we could make this work, as bizarre as it may sound. You and I already trust each other. We’re as close as brothers. I’m not going to screw you over, and I know you won’t screw me over. If we were, we wouldn’t be having this conversation and trying to salvage a very sticky situation.”

He took a deep breath and plunged ahead.

“Trust is key in a relationship like I’m proposing. We can’t be stupid, jealous bastards. We have to know going in that we’re basically a family unit and that we have to work together, not at opposites. We have a common goal. We both care for Elle, and we both want to see her happy, safe and protected.”

Merrick nodded. The more Cade talked, the more this craziness was starting to make twisted sense. Or maybe he was just scared shitless that he’d lose in a showdown, and this was his chance to hedge his bets.

“I don’t know what to say,” Merrick admitted. “I wasn’t expecting something like this.”

“You were expecting worse,” Cade said grimly.

Merrick nodded again. “Yeah. I’ve been dreading it. If it were any other girl, I’d back off, you know? I’d say no woman was worth a lifelong friendship, a partnership and a vested business interest.”

“But she isn’t just any girl,” Cade finished.

“Yeah, exactly. She’s…” Merrick broke off even as the firm realization took hold. “She’s the one.” And he knew as he said it that it was the irrevocable truth. Somehow speaking it aloud gave it more strength. It solidified what he’d been grappling with for months now. It was a relief to get it out, to say the words, for Cade to know where Merrick stood.

His pulse was pounding in his head and chest like a freight train roaring down the tracks. He stared back at Cade as the enormity of their discussion hit him like said freight train.

“Now you know why I’ve been doing so much thinking about this,” Cade said in a grim voice. “Because I feel the same way, and I know you do too. One of us has to lose, and I don’t want that. I don’t think Elle wants it, even if she doesn’t know exactly what it is she wants.”

“You’re telling me you would be okay with…sharing…her with me?” Merrick asked in disbelief.

“What I’m asking is whether you’d be okay with sharing her with me,” Cade said. “I know what I’m okay with. I don’t know what you are. I’ve had several months to make peace with this. I don’t see an alternative. At least not one that offers us all a chance at happiness.”

He was right. It was insanity, but Cade was right, and Merrick couldn’t even wrap his brain around it. Didn’t know how to respond. What to say. How to even agree to such a bizarre proposition.

“We don’t know if she’ll ever go for this,” Merrick muttered.

“Of course we don’t. But how stupid would it be for me or you to even mention it to her if we weren’t in agreement ourselves? If we do this, we have to present a united front, and we have to be damn convincing. She’s not going to want to cause trouble between us. I think she’d up and disappear on us if she even thought this would strain our relationship.”

“Christ.”

“Yeah, exactly. We have to be careful, man. I don’t want to lose her. She’s been through enough. I want her to be happy. I want to make her happy. Hell, I want us to make her happy.”

“And what about her past?” Merrick asked, putting into words the thought that had haunted him the last six months. What happened when she remembered everything? What if she had a life she wanted to return to?

“We cross that bridge when we get to it,” Cade said quietly. “What else can we do? Look, no one has been looking for her. We’ve had feelers out. Dad has been monitoring missing persons through his friend at the station. From everything we know, I’d say whoever was in her life was the one who tried to kill her. There’s nothing for her to go back to.”

“That’s my feeling too, but my gut is screaming that this could backfire on us in a big way. We get emotionally invested, and then she gets yanked away from us.”

“Merrick, we’re already emotionally invested.”

Merrick was quiet for a long moment. “You got me there. I am. That’s not going to change.”

“So let’s do something about it,” Cade urged. “We talk to Elle. Find out how she’s feeling. I don’t want to rush her. I’ll wait for damn ever if that’s what it takes. I don’t want to push her into a physical relationship. I just want and need her to know what’s going on here…and what we want.”

Merrick swallowed hard. This may well be the most fucked up, insane thing he’d ever agreed to in his life. It also might be the most rewarding. He closed his eyes and sucked in a deep breath. When he reopened them, Cade was staring back, determination etched in every one of his features.

“Okay,” Merrick said quietly. “Okay. We’ll try it.”