Theirs to Keep

C H A P T E R T W E N T Y - O N E

ELLE HAD A RELAXED RELATIONSHIP with Dallas. He checked in on her regularly, even calling the guys for frequent updates. Since having a regular doctor was out of the question when she didn’t even know who she was, Dallas had taken over her care as well as Merrick’s.

If she had an ailment or needed an exam, Cade and Merrick brought her in after work hours and Dallas would see her in his clinic.

Tonight, he was making a house call.

Merrick had called him, concern vibrating in his voice as he’d asked Dallas to come over. It was no wonder Dallas showed as quickly as he did after hearing the way Merrick sounded.

Dallas listened first to Merrick’s account of how Elle had walked out of the house in her sleep. Then he talked to Elle, and she told him of the dreams and of hearing her attacker’s voice. The badge and how it had dug into her skin. She didn’t even realize she rubbed her hip the entire time she was recounting the story.

Dallas put his hand over hers. “As you heal, you can likely expect more of your memory to return. And by heal, I mean emotionally. Sometimes the mind takes much longer to recover than the body, and I certainly believe that to be the case in your situation.”

She nodded because she agreed with him there. There were days she didn’t feel like she’d ever truly get beyond the barriers to her past.

“Don’t fight it. Let it happen naturally. But don’t push yourself to remember either,” he advised. “Be patient. You’ll remember when you’re ready.”

“And what can I do about the sleepwalking?” she asked. “Do you think it’s just a freak occurrence? To my knowledge, it’s never happened before.”

“I’ll write you a prescription for something to help you sleep. Sometimes the mind doesn’t shut off just because the rest of you does. Cade and Merrick will be watching you a lot more closely from now on, so I have confidence that I won’t have to worry about you walking into the streets,” he said with a smile.

“Thank you,” she said sincerely. “You’re a good friend, Dallas.”

His features softened. “I don’t want you to be too hard on yourself, Elle. You’ve been through a lot, and you can’t expect to just bounce right back from that. Cut yourself some slack, and lean on Cade and Merrick.”

She smiled for the first time since the guys had taken her on the picnic. “I plan to. I promise. They’re pretty good boulders to prop on.”

“Boulders?” Cade asked. He glanced at Merrick. “Were we just insulted?”

The two men stood in the background, silently observing Dallas as he spoke with Elle. Until now. They moved forward as Dallas completed his discussion with Elle.

“What do you think, Dallas?” Merrick asked in a serious tone.

Dallas sighed. “This isn’t my area of expertise. I’d like to be able to do a CT scan just to check for any damage to her brain, but for obvious reasons, that’s not possible. In all likelihood, it’s a simple matter of her mind protecting her from the horror she endured at her attacker’s hands. Will she ever remember? I can’t say. It’s probably dependent on her desire to remember.”

Her cheeks flushed, and she ducked her head. They all knew she didn’t want to remember. She’d been brutally honest about that fact.

“So I’m standing in the way of my own recovery,” she said quietly.

Dallas shook his head. “I stand by my assertion that you’ll remember when you’re ready. It’s only been seven months, Elle. That’s not very long. It takes many women years to come to terms with being raped. We don’t even know what else you went through.”

She blew out her breath and nodded her understanding.

He pulled out a prescription pad and scribbled down an order for medication. But then he took another blank sheet, flipped it over and scrawled something over the paper.

“I’m giving you the name of a therapist. She’s a friend of mine, and I’ll only contact her if you give me permission. I trust her, and she’d be someone good for you to talk to. Maybe she can help you more than I can.”

“Thanks,” she said softly. “I’ll consider it.”

Dallas touched her cheek and then rose. “Time for me to head home. I’m due at work in just a few hours.”

“Thanks for coming by, Dallas,” Merrick said. “We appreciate it.”

“Not a problem,” Dallas returned. “I’ll see you all later. Call me if anything pops up or if you have any concerns.”

“Will do,” Cade promised.

Elle watched as Merrick walked Dallas out to his car, and then she sagged back onto the couch, closing her eyes.

She was a complete clusterfuck—to borrow one of the guys’ favorite expressions. It was certainly an appropriate term for her life and her situation.

It made her head hurt to think of all the ways she wasn’t able to give Cade and Merrick what they deserved. But she needed what they gave to her. It was the only thing keeping her together. If it weren’t for them, she would have shattered a long time ago.

“What do you say we try to grab a few hours of sleep before we have to get up for Merrick’s training and work?” Cade asked as they waited for Merrick to return.

She nodded, too tired to even voice the words.

He extended his hand down to Elle’s.

“Come on, sweetheart. It’s been one hell of a day. Let’s get you into bed and between me and Merrick, which is just where you belong.”