Hard To Love You

31 Unconditionally - Hailey -

October

Two months later...

The final stage of my breakup: Joy and Love.

I’ve let go of the bad memories as the new ones start to take over. Good things are going to happen for me from here on out.

I sit straight up from a dead sleep, breathing heavy, with sweat dripping down my face. The same dream replays every night, over and over again. Mason taking me to his house and making love to me on his living room floor. No matter what I do I can’t stop the dreams. It doesn’t even help that I haven’t spoken to him in two months.

When I woke up after making love with Mason I was so pissed at myself. I can’t believe I let that happen. I was so stupid for even going with him.

I called MacKenzie and asked her to pick me up. She laughed at me but agreed.

When I got in her car a few minutes later she said, “I bet you will be home before Christmas.”

I looked at her like she was crazy. The pregnancy hormones were affecting her thinking.

“I will not. That should have never happened. I should be pissed at you because you know I have a problem telling him no.”

She giggled. “The old Mason is back.”

The next morning I woke up to Ryder climbing all over me. I played around with him for a few minutes before going downstairs. Jaylinn, Cooper and MacKenzie were sitting around the kitchen table and Mason and Hunter were in the kitchen cooking breakfast.

“Morning sunshine.” Jaylinn greeted me.

“Bitch.” I said quietly because I was holding Ryder and didn’t want him picking up any bad words.

Jaylinn and MacKenzie laughed. Cooper had a smirk on his face that I wanted to slap off.

“Should I call a moving company now?” Cooper asked.

I gave him the evil eye and he laughed. “Not happening.” I snuck a quick glance at Mason and he wore the same smirk his brother did. I guess everyone knew what happened. It’s a little embarrassing that everyone knew my business but they all know us so well. We’re either hot or cold, nothing in the middle. Our clothes are off or on. I laugh to myself; I should have known that was going to happen.

With everything that has been going on these last few months I decided to take the fall semester off. There was just no way I couldn’t concentrate.

Logan and I speak only when we need to; he no longer fixes me a plate at dinner or gets my coffee ready in the mornings. We never talked about the night he brought that girl home, the night we had our silent little fight. I guess we really didn’t need to. It’s awkward living with Logan now.

Ryder’s first birthday is this weekend so I’m going home. I was kind of hoping Cole would pick me up since I haven’t talk with him much lately but he’s on the road with the band and wasn’t in town this weekend, so Jaylinn is coming to pick me up again.

I finish packing a bag and stuff a few extra outfits in there, just in case. Jaylinn arrives just before noon; I’m in the middle of paying some bills online so she comes in for a few minutes. When I finish there is another bag packed and sitting next to the one I’ve already done. I eye Jaylinn.

“Just in case.” She shrugs and picks up the bags.

“Jay,”

“I’ve got soccer practice that starts this week so you might need to stay a few extra days.” She says.

I roll my eyes, “I have work and you know you’re gonna make sure I get home. You always do.”

Jaylinn smiles and walks out of the room.

I make Jaylinn stop at the drug store before we go to MacKenzie’s, I need to pick up a card because I had forgotten one when I picked up Ryder’s gift. Jaylinn offers to go in with me but I tell her to stretch her legs out and I’d be right back. I don’t want her to see what else I have to pick up. I’m not ready for anyone to see it.

I get everything I need and head to MacKenzie’s house. We are all sitting around chatting and catching up. Everything is normal, like I still live here in Jersey, the jokes still go around and it’s fun times. Mason is watching me like a hawk and it makes me uncomfortable but I put on my game face and ignore him. All the boys, including Ryder and Alex leave to go and get pizza for dinner so it’s only me, Jaylinn, MacKenzie and Chloe. I break out into a sweat thinking about what’s in my bag upstairs.

“What’s going on with you?” Chloe asks.

“Huh?”

MacKenzie narrows her eyes at me. “You’re glowing. What’s up?”

I look everywhere but at them. They are going to know the second I do. “Nothing. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Jaylinn tucks her legs under her, “Did you meet a guy?”

I shake my head.

MacKenzie starts laughing and playfully hits Jaylinn in the arm. “It’s Mason.”

Chloe rolls her eyes, “Of course it’s Mason.”

I nod.

MacKenzie stops laughing suddenly and her mouth falls open. I flush, cheeks burning hot. I bite my lower lip waiting to see if she says what I think she’s about to.

Jaylinn’s eyes are bouncing back and forth between MacKenzie and me.

“Oh shit.” Chloe says softly.

“What?” Jaylinn questions, “What the hell is going on?”

I stand up and walk to the kitchen, suddenly feeling very thirsty. I turn my back away from the girls gawking at me.

I hear a bunch of shuffling and footsteps and suddenly all three pairs of wide eyes are staring at me, jaws dropped to the floor.

“You’re pregnant!” All three girls yell at once.

I take a drink of water from my glass. I don’t answer because I’m scared shitless. I don’t know if they are excited, upset, disappointed or what.

“Hails,” MacKenzie starts, “Look at me.”

I meet her eyes. “You’re pregnant aren’t you?”

I shrug. “I don’t know.”

“You haven’t taken a test?” Chloe asks.

“No.” My heart rate speeds up.

“But you got one earlier at the store. That’s why you made me stop?” Jaylinn speaks up.

“Yeah.”

“You. Now. Upstairs.” MacKenzie orders.

The alarm beeps, signaling that a door has opened. My eyes go wide. Jaylinn pushes MacKenzie and me upstairs. “Go. Chloe and I’ve got this.”

MacKenzie waddles her pregnant little ass upstairs and I follow behind. We walk into the guest bedroom and MacKenzie stands near the door. “Grab it and let’s go to my bathroom.”

I grab the test and follow her. MacKenzie shuts the door behind us and I go into the bathroom. My whole body starts to shake. I feel like I’m about to throw up.

MacKenzie comes in and shuts the bathroom door. “Take a couple of deep breaths.” I turn to her soothing voice. “It’s going to be okay, Hails. Why haven’t you called me about this?”

Breathe in, breathe out. “Because I was stupid. I didn’t even think about Mason not using a condom until one night I woke up and realized I never got my period.”

MacKenzie smiles, “You know this changes everything right?”

Breathe in, breathe out. My nerves are still going crazy but I feel a little calmer. “I know. I haven’t talked to him since his birthday weekend, Kenzie. I have no idea what he’s been up to. Is he seeing someone? Does he hate me? All these questions are running through my head.”

“Well,” MacKenzie perches herself on the side of the tub. “If you didn’t forbid me to talk about him then you would have known.” I fumble around with the bag that holds the pregnancy test. “Hailey.” I look over at her. “He’s not seeing anyone and he hasn’t done for a long time. Mason could never, ever hate you. He has been working on his house when he isn’t on the road. He’s waiting for you Hailey.”

Tears burn my eyes. I swallow hard.

“He loves you, Hailey. I think he loves you more now than he did before.”

“You’re damn right I do.” Startled at the voice, I jump and spin around.

The room grows quiet; you could hear a pin drop. The bag in my hand feels like a ticking time bomb. Mason takes a step closer to me and without apology plants his lips on mine. My heart stops completely, I stop breathing. Mason cups my face with his hands and tears fall from my closed eyes. I grip his shirt with one of my hands and hold on for dear life. I don’t ever want to be apart from this man again.

Mason places another kiss on my lips, more gently this time, and wipes the tears away with his thumbs. “I love you Hailey, don’t ever doubt that. You’ve always held a special place in my heart and always will.”

Sniffles echo in the bathroom and they aren’t from me. I giggle; I forgot MacKenzie was in the room with us. “I’m sorry.” She cries. MacKenzie stands up and hugs both Mason and me. “I love you two, now please get your shit together. I want my best friend back.” Mason places a kiss on my forehead. “And I need an answer to a question.” MacKenzie looks at me.

“What questions is that?” Mason asks.

MacKenzie winks, “I’ll let Hails explain.” She turns and leaves me in here with Mason.

“So um,” I scratch my nose.

Mason interrupts me, “Just so you know, I’m not letting you go.”

I smile at him, “Good, because I don’t want to go. I missed you so much Mason. I’m so sorry I didn’t believe in our relationship. I grew up being told I was a mistake. I let my issues with my family seep into my relationship with you and ruin us. All these months apart I’ve had time to think and I was so stupid for listening to Brittany and Lily.”

“And I’m sorry I just let you go, I didn’t even try to stop you and make you listen. My stubbornness and pride got in the way. I should have fought harder to keep you.” Mason kisses me again. “And just so you know I never slept with Lily. She staged the whole thing.”

“Are you fucking serious?”

Mason nods.

“Who the hell does that?”

Mason grimaces, “That girl has some major issues she is dealing with. Pat, the guy from the team,” I nod, knowing exactly who he is. I can’t stand that two timing asshole. “He knocked up Lily. I ran into her while getting pizza and she told me everything.”

I shake my head in disgust. Pat should have kept it in his pants and Lily should have kept her legs closed. I’m so relieved that Mason and Lily didn’t sleep together though.

“So what’s the answer that Kenzie is waiting for?” Mason asks disrupting my thoughts.

“Oh yeah. Um …” My stomach rolls.

Mason grabs my chin, “Whatever it is, I’ll deal with it. Just tell me.” I close my eyes and breathe in through my nose and out of my mouth. “No more secrets, no more lies. I want you Hailey and I’m going to spend forever proving it to you. These last few months have been miserable without you.”

I start crying again.

Mason lets go of my chin, reaches into his pocket and pulls out a blue Tiffany’s box.

I cry harder.

He drops to one knee. “I didn’t plan on proposing to you in my sister’s bathroom but I don’t want to spend another minute not knowing if you’ll be mine.” He shrugs and I smile through my tears. “I want to give you the world, Hailey. Our love isn’t sweet and simple; it never was and probably never will be. It’s hot, loud and messy and I wouldn’t want it any other way. I will love you for the rest of my life. I want our happily ever after. It’s our turn.” I wipe the tears away. “Hailey, will you marry me?”

Mason loves me, me. Not the idea of me carrying his baby if I’m pregnant. This is just about me and him. I’m so head over heels in love with Mason I can’t even see straight. I tried to deny my feelings and tried to move on, but failed at both. This time apart has proven a lot of things. It’s shown that you don’t know what you have until it’s gone. It’s proven that I can stand on my own two feet without ever feeling like I need someone to hold me up.

“Yes. Yes I’ll marry you, Mason.” I drop the bag I was holding and throw myself into his arms, crashing against his body. “I love you so much. No more secrets, Mason.”

Mason opens the box to reveal the biggest rock I have ever seen, it has to be three or four carats, nestled in the center of a band of diamonds. He takes the ring out of the box and slips it on my finger. “Never again. You will always come first from this day forward.” I hold it up and admire it. It’s gorgeous.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see the bag containing the pregnancy test.

“Actually, wait a second.”

Mason freezes.

“I might actually be hiding a secret.”

His eyebrows burrow together, “Might be?”

I smile at him and nod to the bag that I dropped on the floor.

Mason looks at the bag and then back at me. “If you hand me that bag I can tell you if I’m hiding something and answer MacKenzie’s question.”

He reaches for the bag and passes it to me. I take the pregnancy test out and look at Mason. His eyes are big as saucers. “You’re pregnant?”

I open the box, take the test out and place it on the sink next to the toilet. “We’re about to find out.”

Mason stands up and turns to leave the room, “Where the hell are you going? Don’t leave me in here by myself.”

Mason is white as a ghost. “Is …” He tries to clean his throat. “Is … it … mine?”

“Yes Mason. I haven’t slept with anyone but you.” I assure him and then the color starts to come back to his cheeks.

I open the plastic that is wrapped around the test. Once I’m finished I set it back on the sink. I look over at Mason and he’s just staring at the piece of plastic.

I go over and wrap my arms around him, “Are you scared?”

Mason stares me right in the eyes, “No. Do you know how long I’ve wanted this with you?”

Shock crosses my face, “You’ve wanted to have a baby with me?”

“I dream about it all the time, Boo. I want little boys running around our house causing destruction wherever they go. I want the laughter and the joy they will bring.”

My heart melts. “I want that too but I’m scared shitless.”

Mason kisses my head, “Don’t be.”

I think I’ve kept him busy long enough, “You wanna look first?”

He nods and turns his body so he can see the test. I watch his face, his lips pull up slightly and transform into a full shit eating grin.

“I’m pregnant?”

Mason grabs me up in his arms and spins me around. “You’re having my baby.”

I squeal at the surprise and place my lips on Mason. He stops spinning and slowly sets me on my feet. “I guess you’re getting your happily ever after, plus one.”

Mason smiles his cocky smile. “You’re damn straight I am. I get everything I want.”