Outside

Chapter Eighteen

I awake to the sound of the grandfather clock striking four. I’m completely disorientated. The events of the past twenty four hours unfurl slowly. Daylight spills in from behind one side of the heavy velvet curtains so it must be four in the afternoon.

Luc’s still asleep on the sofa opposite me. Fred and Jessie haven’t even asked who we are or why we’re on the road alone. They seem such nice people and I feel we owe them an explanation, but I get the feeling they wouldn’t approve of what we’re doing. Luc stirs and interrupts my musings.

‘Hello,’ I say.

‘Hi,’ he replies. And we both fall about laughing at the bizarreness of the situation.

Later, we sit at the kitchen table and help Jessie to prepare the vegetables for dinner. She clucks around us like a mother hen, asking us to sample various delicious foodstuffs. The room has warmed up considerably and is thick with steam and cooking smells.

‘We’ll be stuffed before we even start dinner,’ says Luc

‘I know,’ says Jessie. ‘But you have to try a couple of slices of this cucumber, it’s really good.’

We still haven’t seen any sign of their children and I don’t like to ask. Maybe they’re off visiting family or friends. It’s odd they haven’t said where they are. But then I suppose it’s also odd we haven’t told them what we’re doing. So I resolve to mind my own business and just be thankful we’ve met this hospitable couple.

Soon, dinner is ready and Jessie calls to Fred, who’s upstairs getting changed out of his work clothes.

I feel relaxed and well-rested. I’m not so worried about Luc’s health anymore. He seems to be recovering really well, although the bruise still looks quite nasty.

Jessie’s telling us about the surrounding area. ‘There’s a compound just north of here, but we always preferred to be independent. We do some good trade with them and nowadays they’re friendly enough, not like it used to be at the beginning. In any case, we have to stay here just in case…’

Fred walks into the room and touches her arm gently. ‘We’re in a bit of a situation here,’ he says to us. ‘Something happened a while ago.’

‘You don’t have to explain anything to us,’ Luc says.

‘No, it’s okay. We’d like to tell you. You might’ve thought it strange our kids aren’t around.’

I’m intrigued, but neither of us speaks.

‘It happened nine years ago,’ continues Fred. ‘We’d gotten used to the way things were, with all the troubles and everything. The place was secure; locked tight against raiders and looters. We’d already abandoned a lot of our land over the years and most of our livestock had been stolen. We’re lucky to have what we got really. But at the time, we were seriously considering moving out of the farm and into the compound so the kids could go to school and we wouldn’t be so cut-off.

‘Freddie was ten and Lissy was seven. One day…’ He broke off and paused for a moment. ‘… One day, Jess and I were tending to the animals as usual. We asked the children to sweep out the yard and feed the chickens. Jessie came back down to the house to cook breakfast, but the children weren’t in the yard and it was still unswept. She got cross and went into the house to see what they were playing at, but they weren’t there neither. She assumed they must have been with me, helping with the cows. They weren’t, and we never saw ‘em again.’

I realise what he’s telling us – that their children have gone missing. There’s a long, heavy silence. Luc breaks it.

‘What? You mean they disappeared?’

Jessie sighs. ‘We didn’t have the same security measures on the farm then that we have now. We were stupid, naive. It’s the not-knowing that eats you up inside. I mean they could be anywhere. I refuse to believe they’ve gone for good. This morning. We thought, well for a second when Fred saw Luc…’

‘Oh God!’ I say, comprehending. ‘You thought we could have been them coming home! I’m so sorry.’

‘That’s right,’ Fred replies. ‘We wouldn’t normally invite total strangers into our home, but we saw you two and we thought of our children and Jessie’s a big softie and begged me to invite you both in for breakfast. So you see, we can’t move on to a safer location in case they manage to find their way back to us.

‘The local compound is very secure now, with home grown provisions and a lot of new amenities and we wouldn’t have to live on our nerves like this. They’ve already offered us a cottage that’s just come available, but we can’t leave because we have to be here when Freddie and Lissy come home, else how would they find us again? We’re stuck here, in limbo. Waiting.’

I feel awful and don’t know what else to say. The rest of our dinner stays cold on the plates. I get up to put my arms round Jessie, who gives me a kiss and pats the back of my hand.

How will they ever be able to move on with their lives when they don’t know what’s happened to their children? I don’t want to think about it. Instead, I think about my sheltered upbringing and compare it to the majority of the population who live in fear and uncertainty, like this poor unlucky couple. I’ve seen nothing on our journey that comes close to the taken-for-granted life I’ve led so far and I feel an overwhelming gratitude to my parents.

Then I get a stab of guilt. Aren’t they too, worrying themselves stupid about our safety? They don’t know if we’re alive or dead. I feel ashamed. The note we left was just a thoughtless gesture and will do nothing to calm their fears; it will only make them worry more. I decide to contact them as soon as we can. But the next opportunity to do this probably won’t be until we reach Century Barracks in Warminster.

Then something occurs to me. Something so obvious, I wonder why I didn’t think of it the moment Fred and Jessie started to speak of their children’s disappearance. It must have occurred to Luc too, because we both look at each other and mouth the same word, ‘Grey.’

Luc shakes his head at me and looks away and I can tell he doesn’t want me to say anything to Fred and Jessie. I’m itching to tell them what we know, but I can see Luc isn’t so keen. It’s too late to keep it from them though, as they look directly at us, having missed nothing of our unsubtle exchange.

‘Do you think it was James Grey’s lot?’ I ask Luc.

He frowns at me, but Fred and Jessie aren’t stupid and I don’t think it’s right to keep this from them anyway.

‘Who?’ ask Fred and Jessie together.

‘Umm.’ I start to feel nervous about what I’m going to tell them, but I continue. ‘James Grey. From Salisbury.’

‘Never heard of him,’ says Jessie. ‘Fred?’

‘No. Doesn’t ring any bells,’ he answers. They turn to look at me, as it’s clear Luc doesn’t want to speak. He’s shaking his head at me but I think they deserve to know.

‘Please, tell us what you can,’ says Jessie.

I’m not sure where to start.

‘Tell us.’ Her voice is barely a whisper now. She’s shaking and tears roll down her cheeks. ‘I don’t even want to let myself hope there’s a chance you might know what happened after all this time.’ She pushes back her chair and stands up unsteadily. Fred rises and put his arms around her. He turns to face me and Luc and there is anger in his eyes.

‘If you know something, please tell us. I like you two kids, but you better not be upsetting my Jessie for nothing.’

‘I’m sorry,’ says Luc. ‘We’re sorry. We shouldn’t have said anything. I don’t want to raise your hopes by guessing. It’s just, what happened to your children happens quite a lot in this area and my father has some theories about who’s behind the abductions.’

‘Spit it out, lad.’ Fred speaks more gently this time and guides Jessie back to her chair. He sits down next to her and holds her hands in his.

I feel uncomfortable that I blurted out Grey’s name without thinking first. But it’s too late and anyway Luc looks like he’s gearing up to tell them about James Grey, Salisbury and the rumours.