Outside

Chapter Twenty One

Luc has just finished telling Fred and Jessie about Salisbury’s recent history. He left out the bit about his Uncle Rufus’ weapons production, just giving them the bare facts about James Grey and Salisbury. I see him pause as he thinks about how to tell them the next bit.

‘So what has all this got to do with our Lissy and Freddie?’ asks Jessie. ‘Unless you think they may be with this Grey character.’

‘We only know about him though rumours,’ I interject. ‘My Pa always put the fear of God into us about Grey. He said if we ever set foot outside the Perimeter we could be snatched. He’s like the bogeyman, or something.’

Luc continues. ‘My uncle saw someone when he was in there. It was a girl, who’d gone missing from a local compound. She just disappeared, like your children. And then, a month later, my uncle recognised her in Grey’s courtyard. He managed to smuggle her out and I’m not sure of all the details, but she had definitely been abducted. She said there were hundreds of other children who’d been taken or lured in, now trapped or brainwashed. And anyway, over the past few years, there have been too many unexplained disappearances of children.

‘I don’t know what to think,’ says Jessie slowly. ‘It’s a possibility, but then again, it could just as likely be raiders that took them, or…’ She starts to cry again.

‘Jess, darlin’, don’t cry.’ Fred wipes her tears.

‘I know we don’t have any concrete evidence, but it makes more sense that it’s Grey,’ I say. ‘Raiders want food, weapons or valuables, not more mouths to feed. Grey isn’t trusting; he turns people away from his gates. But he’s got hundreds of followers and they’re mostly children or young adults. Children are easier to brainwash and train up to be loyal to him and his religion.’

‘Anyway,’ Luc interjects gently, ‘we’ve told you what we know about Grey and I don’t know if we’ve made you feel better or worse, but maybe there’s some hope for you that…’

‘That what?’ Fred interrupts. ‘That we can march up to Grey’s house and say, ‘excuse me, Sir, but have you got our kids? We think you might have took ’em without asking and we’d like ’em back’.’

‘I don’t know,’ says Luc. ‘I’m sorry.’

‘Oh Go-o-od!’ says Jessie, exhaling loudly. ‘This is just too much. I can’t deal with this now. I can’t think anymore. Thank you Luc, Riley, for what you’ve told us, but I can’t listen to any more.’ She trembles as she stands up and makes a move to clear the table.

‘Just leave them dinner things, Jess.’ Fred gives us a hard look. ‘No offence, kids, but would you mind going upstairs and leaving me and Jess to talk. We’ll see yer in the morning.’

We stand up awkwardly and say goodnight, not really knowing if we should say anything more to ease the situation. But Fred wants us gone. As we walk up the stairs, Luc gives me a look I can’t decipher, but I know he’s not happy with me.

‘You shouldn’t have mentioned Grey,’ he whispers. ‘You’ve put us in a difficult position and we’ve just given them false hope. Even if Grey has got their kids, there’s nothing they can do about it.’

‘I’m sorry,’ I retort. ‘But they do have a right to know all the possibilities.’

His jaw clenches tight and he goes into his room, closing the door without saying goodnight. I knew he was annoyed with me, but I hadn’t realised just how much. To make matters worse, the rooms we’re going to sleep in tonight are Lissy and Freddie’s bedrooms. When Jessie showed us to our rooms earlier, we hadn’t known their children were missing. We just assumed they had moved out or were with friends. Now I know the truth, I’m horrified that we have to sleep in their bedrooms.

My room is immaculate, but looks exactly as it must have been nine years ago. It’s a seven-year-old girl’s bedroom, with cuddly toys, dolls and pretty things. A pink and mauve delight that makes me sad. I look out of the window into the black night, the darkness relieved by starry pinpricks and a sliver of moon. I close the fairy curtains and lie on top of the covers, thinking of Luc in the next room, of Fred and Jessie’s lost daughter and of my Skye.

We spend the following morning helping Fred and Jessie with their chores around the house and farm. I get stuck in, pleased for the distraction the physical work provides.

‘There’s always too much to do,’ says Jessie. ‘It’s amazing how much more we can get done with you here. Thank you.’

They haven’t mentioned last night’s conversation at all and I don’t feel it’s my place to bring it up. An awkward feeling hovers in the air between Luc and me and between us and our hosts. Luc and I agree we should probably head off soon. In the cold light of morning, I feel as if I’ve made a huge error in judgement by telling this sweet couple what we know. Luc was right, we shouldn’t have said anything, but me and my big mouth just had to have the last word.

Jessie looks pale and tired and Fred is cordial, but tight lipped. I know I’ve opened old wounds. Did I genuinely think I was doing something good? Or was I just excited at the thought of giving them the news that could lead to a dramatic reunion with their children?

They ask us to join them for a sandwich in the kitchen and we politely follow them in. The easy good humour from yesterday has completely gone. We all sit down around the Formica table, not knowing what to say. After a long minute of silent chewing, Fred clears his throat.

‘Jess and I didn’t get much sleep last night, as you can imagine.’

‘We’re so sorry,’ Luc apologises. ‘We were insensitive and thoughtless.’

I take this as a direct insult, as it was me who had wanted to tell them.

Fred raises his hand to quiet Luc. ‘Let me finish, lad.’

Luc and I cast our eyes downward while Fred continues.

‘We’re grateful you told us about Grey. It’s a lot to take in for us. We really never expected to hear anything about our children again. We’d sorta said goodbye to them a few years ago, you know, in our heads. Your revelation has changed everything. We had no leads before, nothing to go on, no help; they could have been anywhere. But now, well. We can’t go on as before, not if there’s the smallest possibility they could be alive; if there’s a chance they’re there. We have to try. We have to.’

Jessie is staring at me and Luc. ‘We need your help,’ she says. ‘We could try by ourselves, but we’d have more of a chance if you would tell us how we could get in there. We wouldn’t expect you to put yourselves in any danger, but if you could just help us to formulate a plan. Advise us how to go about it. You know about the place.’

‘We’ll do anything we can to help you,’ I say. ‘Of course we will.’

‘Hold on, Riley,’ Luc says. ‘Of course we would love to help you, but there’s nothing we can do.’

‘Luc…’ I start to reason with him.

‘No, Riley, he snaps. ‘This isn’t fixable. None of this is fixable. Not finding abducted children or bringing in escaped murderers and not bringing Skye back to life!’

I raise my eyes to look at Fred and Jessie, who return my look of shock. I’ve never seen Luc like this. I’ve seen him irritated and annoyed, and after Skye, I saw him sad beyond measure, but this anger is an entirely different Luc. He’s biting his lip and shaking with emotion. I can see he hadn’t meant to blurt out our business like that.

‘I don’t even wanna ask,’ says Fred.

‘This is all a mess,’ sighs Luc, his rage dissipating as quickly as it flared up. ‘The whole thing is just completely screwed up. Riley, we must be mad to be doing any of this.’

‘I’m sorry, Luc,’ I say.

‘Not your fault.’

We’ve got no choice but to tell them what Luc and I are doing. It would feel wrong not to say anything. We tell them a watered-down version of our story, starting with Skye’s murder, but leaving out the part about not having our parents’ permission. Jessie now looks even more stricken than before, if that’s possible.

‘What kind of world are we living in? Riley, I’m so sorry about your sister, you poor, poor girl. And there’s us, trying to rope you into our affairs, when you’ve obviously got so much on your plate.’

‘Sorry,’ Fred echoes. ‘Looks like we’re not the only ones suffering.’

We all sit quietly, lost in our own thoughts for what feels like a long time.

‘Okay,’ Luc breaks the silence. ‘I’m definitely going to regret this, but Riley’s right.’ He looks at me with a smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes and then turns his gaze back to the couple. ‘We should help you. You’ve both been so kind to us and we’re here now, on the road. There’s no going back for Riley and me.’

‘Luc,’ I smile at him. He looks at me but doesn’t return the smile this time.

‘Riley,’ he says with forced patience. ‘We’ll do this, but everyone will have to do exactly what I say. No questions, no hesitation or doubts. If we do this, it’s serious and we’ll do it my way.’

‘Luc, lad,’ says Fred. ‘Just give us some information and we’ll do the rest. We can’t ask you to put yourselves in danger for us. It’s not right, you’re kids yourselves.’

‘Fred, no offence, but you’ve got no chance of doing this without us. The very fact we’re kids is what’s going to make this plan work.’

‘I hope you’re not suggesting what I think you are.’ Fred is worried and so am I. I’m just starting to realise what Luc’s plan is going to involve.

It’s all very well, us telling them about Grey and our theories on all the missing children, but now we have to actually do something about it and that’s the scary part. We’ve never been to Salisbury before. We’ve only heard of Grey through Luc’s uncle. Of course we have to help them, but what are we going to do about Chambers and our own search for answers?

Our parents will now be frantic with worry and every day we delay our search, means more stress for our families. But it’s too late for us to think about that now. We’ve made our choice and have to follow it through. We’ve got a moral obligation to help these people and, besides, I like them and want more than anything for them to find their children.