Vampires Need Not...Apply

Chapter Dieciséis

“No, caray! This is not working!” Antonio threw his pen at the wall—one of the still standing ones—and it stuck in the plaster like a dart.

Clearly he hadn’t grasped the magnitude of his strength yet.

“Don’t panic, Dracula. Just move to the next one.” Ixtab poked him lightly on the arm. Over the last ten hours, she’d touched him every chance she had. She still couldn’t believe it. She’d touched him dozens of time and nothing bad had happened! Another living creature! And he was still alive! Slightly irritated, but alive.

While he had been working on the tablet, conducting experiments, she’d done some tests of her own. She now knew that when they made contact, dark energy did indeed flow out of her body into his, but he simply seemed immune to it. This was so… awesome! Better than the time Cimil allowed her to ride that prize pumpkin! Okay, that was a lame comparison. Nonetheless, this was the most exciting thing she’d ever experienced!

She poked him again and smiled. Her cheeks cramped from grinning so darn hard.

“Stop that.” He’d glance at her, half glaring, half perplexed.

“What?” Smile. Big smile.

He frowned and then returned to his work with such intense focus that she couldn’t help but wonder what was really in this for him? He behaved as if solving the mystery of the tablet was the end of the world.

Because it is?

Okay. Yes. But taking the worry to a level ten was the job of a deity. Not a… well, new vampire.

She passed him a sheet of paper with formulas. “Try this one.” Poke.

“It’s not going to work,” he said, not lifting his head.

“You haven’t even tried it.”

“No. I mean the poking. You can’t annoy your way out of this,” he replied.

Who says I want to? “I have no idea what you mean?” Poke. This is so wonderful.

He growled. “You are a very, very strange woman.”

“I’m a deity. We invented strange.” I can’t stop. She reached out her hand, but he caught it midair.

“Next time you do that, I’ll break your neck,” he growled.

“Has anyone ever told you that you’re oodles of fun?”

His green eyes turned black. “No.”

“Have you ever wondered why?”

“No. Now pass me the other file—the one with the red label.” He pointed to the stack on the edge of the large table.

“Say please,” she said playfully. Gods, I feel drunk! At least, I think this is what drunk feels like. I will need to consult with Belch.

Perhaps you’re happy!

Yes. Maybe this is what being happy feels like!

He shot her a hateful look.

“No, not saying please?” She smiled and passed the file anyway.

Despite all her goofing around and his belligerent disposition, Ixtab had to give the damned brilliant man kudos where kudos were deserved; he was on to something. He’d figured out that the tablet reacted to energy fields (no surprise there given everything in the Universe is comprised of energy); however, he had hooked up his laptop to a homemade box that contained a complex system of diodes and amplifiers. The little box could mimic and transmit almost any energy pattern—a frog, a cat, a flower, just about anything. With the experiments he’d been conducting, he had already narrowed the list down to ten catalysts and validated his data with live tests. Now, he believed, it was simply a question of sequencing the energy patterns correctly to trigger the tablet’s power. So far, however, he’d managed to get the object’s surface to vibrate, but nothing more.

“No. Dammit. I’m missing something.” He sat on the tall stool and hunched over the table, pressing his forehead against the cool stainless steel surface. His lean, wide back stretched the fabric of his T-shirt, and Ixtab couldn’t help but notice how the broad shoulders tapered down into a tight waist before presenting a perfectly shaped ass. The shape of the muscles were like two round globes of manly assiness.

Assiness? Not even a word, goddess. She shrugged. I like it. Assiness fits.

“Perhaps if you ate?” she suggested.

Antonio rolled his forehead against the table. “I’m not hungry.”

“You’re a new vampire. Of course you’re hungry—”

His head snapped up. “No. I said I do not want to eat.”

“Eventually you will need to eat something, or you will go mad, perhaps kill an innocent mortal.”

“Doubtful,” he snapped. “I do not eat meat. I never have, and I never will. The thought of drinking human blood disgusts me.”

Ixtab gasped. “A vegetarian vampire?” Oh. This was a disaster waiting to happen.

He scowled at her. “I do not believe in killing. And if I ever had to kill someone or something, I certainly wouldn’t enjoy it like some people.”

Had that been a jab?

“You think I go around killing people for fun?” she asked. Normally, thems would be fightin’ words, but she was in such a good mood that nothing could sour it. Not even a grumpy, gorgeous—Wait! No! Icky! Oh, hell… gorgeous vampire. Damn this happiness rocks. Everyone should try it!

“Yes,” he said. “I believe I also used the word ‘enjoy.’ I saw what you did to that man in the alley and to those animals. You murdered them without a second thought and skipped away like you’d been to a fucking party.”

Happiness starting to go…

“I don’t kill—”

“Don’t try to deny it; your sister told me everything. You are the Goddess of Suicide.” He stood and towered over her, fuming with contempt.

Getting weaker…

“Yeah, but—”

“You were cruel and cold and heartless during my darkest hour in the hospital. Now I know why; you enjoy watching others suffer and taking their lives.”

“Okay. Maybe a little, but it all depends on the person. And who the hell are you to judge me? You… man tart. I bet those women you use might have a thing or two to say about your compassionate side. Or lack thereof.”

“Sleeping with women and giving them pleasure is not a valid comparison. And did you just admit you enjoyed watching me suffer when you found me in the hospital?” he asked bitterly.

Hmmm… “Maybe I enjoyed watching you suffer a little. You were being pretty damned cranky, and if I recall correctly, you even wanted to throw away your life.”

“Maybe I was cranky because someone killed my cat!” He pressed his body against hers.

“I said I was sorry about the cat! Okay? I’m sorry. He came out of nowhere!”

“What kind of person kills someone’s cat while they’re in the hospital? Blinded in an accident?”

“I can’t bring back your cat, but at least you have your sight again. And look! You still don’t appreciate the second chance you’ve been given. Can’t you just be happy?” Though he was ten inches taller and outweighed her by a good hundred pounds, she pushed back with her body, refusing to lose any ground in their battle of the wills. After all, she was a goddess and he, only a lowly, yummy… Wait! No! Icky vampire. Dammit, if he didn’t feel warm and hard and masculine in all the right places. She’d never had such delicious contact with another. This was better than that damned ride at Euro Disney all the vampires loved. This was better than bagging ten rapists in one night. This was—gasp!—better than a 50 percent off sale on cotton floral prints at Fabric Land! Knees don’t buckle. Knees don’t buckle.

“This isn’t a second chance,” he yelled. “I am a disgusting, goddamned vampire!”

“Yes. You are! Be happy!” she screamed back.

“Wait. You think I’m disgusting?”

Hell no! Not even a little! “You said it, not me,” she replied.

“Let us just see what’s under that veil, shall we?” He swiped for it, but she caught his wrist and growled. “Nobody touches the veil, Bub…” Goddammit, the contact was euphoric. Tingles and shivers banged their way through her body. The bliss of touching another living being, without it being… well, work related, was sinfully enjoyable. It felt like she was having sex with her hand. Errr, not sex with my hand—’cause that’s really no fun after seventy thousand years—but sex through my hand.

She squeezed his wrist a little harder and made a tiny groan. Thankfully, he was too darn busy glaring with those olive-green eyes and snarling with those beautiful lips to even notice.

“What are you hiding under there, Elvira?” he whispered. “Or is it Jeepers Creepers? Is your face mangled and twisted? Do you wear that to keep the children from screaming?”

Ixtab stood on her tiptoes and leaned into him. She couldn’t pass up a chance to soak in more of his deliciousness. And was that…? Oh yes, it was. Ixtab’s eyes practically rolled inside her head as she felt his slightly firm cock against her stomach.

Does he even realize?

Ixtab almost lost it right there, and by lost it, she meant tear off her clothes and throw herself at him shamelessly. She even wanted to remove the veil and show him her face. Could she do it? Betray her vow?

The tablet began to vibrate on the table, and both their heads whipped in its direction. Antonio glanced back at Ixtab’s veiled face, then down at their bodies pressing tightly together. His face suddenly turned bright red.

Oops. He just realized.

He stepped away and turned toward the tablet, giving her his back. “Leave,” he snarled.

“But I—”

He went for his microscope. “Leave. Go find someone to murder, Morticia.”

Ixtab growled under her veil. Not because he’d insulted her—hell, maybe he had every right to be mad. Who knew? But her brain felt like it had been scrambled, leaving her completely disoriented. It must be something about touching him. Yes. Perhaps she was drunk. That would explain why she’d gone from loathing the man to being completely and utterly… Oh. My. Gods! I’ve gone mad! I’m lusting after a vampire!

She headed for the door and heard Antonio hiss under his breath in disgust as she left.