White Trash Damaged

18

WE RODE FOR hours and my legs felt like they wouldn’t hold me as I slid off the back of Tucker’s bike. I groaned as I stretched, my tailbone not liking the ride.

Tucker pulled off his helmet and ran his hand over his messy hair.

“You all right?” He unhooked my helmet and pulled it off my head. I ran my fingers through my hair, wishing I had pulled it up in a ponytail. It was knotted from whipping around in the wind for the past six hours.

“I’ll survive.”

“Not good enough. You need to live.” He pulled me against him and pressed his lips on mine, kissing me hungrily. My body melted against his as his hand slid lower and he grabbed my butt. I pulled back, smacking him playfully on the chest. I loved seeing Tucker happy and carefree. Lately it seemed like everyone was doing nothing but fighting, and for once most of the issues had been resolved.

“Get a room,” Eric yelled from behind us, and we both turned to see the two massive buses now blocking the gas station.

“I was hoping that sound was a tractor trailer,” Tucker joked.

“I wish we could ride the rest of the way by ourselves, but I don’t think my butt can take it. Besides, we have an evil plan to unleash.”

Tucker grabbed my hand, raising it to his mouth and kissing the back of it as we started walking toward the buses.

“Only one problem. If you have Sarah come on the bus to help with your makeover, Eric is going to start acting crazy around her. That is if you can even get Donna to agree to let you touch her.”

I rolled my eyes, but he was right. I knew I wouldn’t be able to get her on Filth’s bus. They lived like a bunch of homeless teenagers. Their manager refused to even stay on it with them, and he drives himself to each gig. I’d only seen him a handful of times, and he had never spoken a word to me.

“How was the ride?” Chris asked as we approached the bus. He already reeked of beer.

“Relaxing,” I replied and snuggled into Tucker’s side. He put his arm around my waist and pulled me tighter against him. That time alone was desperately needed, but it would be nice to spend some time with him where we could actually talk.

“Better load up the bike. Donna is on a warpath and wants to hurry up and get to where we’re going.” Chris rolled his eyes. I reluctantly pulled away from Tucker so he could go get his bike and load it onto the small trailer. I used the time to run over to Filth’s bus so I could talk to Sarah. She was standing outside the door, leaning against the metal side.

“Isn’t that hot?” I asked as I approached her. She shrugged but didn’t look up at me. She was busy pulling a clump of her hair between her fingers and inspecting the ends.

“What’s wrong?” I asked as I walked up beside her and leaned back against the hot metal.

“Boys are dumb.”

“What’s new?” I replied sarcastically, and she looked over at me and laughed. Derek came from the gas station, and he didn’t look happy.

“What’s going on?”

“Just stretching,” she said with a sigh. “I should go,” she replied to me as she rolled her eyes. “He’s in a weird mood.”

I smiled and said good-bye, but my stomach tied in knots. I hoped he believed Tucker when he said we weren’t talking about his girlfriend. I would hate to be the reason they weren’t getting along.

I made it on our bus, trying to think of a way to get Donna to relax. As I stepped inside I could hear her in her bedroom having a heated phone call. She probably thought the bus was still empty. I did my best to be quiet as I grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge. I didn’t want to eavesdrop, but I had never heard her mention having any friends or family.

Whoever she was talking to was making her very upset. I didn’t wish sadness upon anyone, but this may work to my advantage. It was time to get her out of her funk and maybe get Eric’s mind off Sarah. She yanked open the door to her room and as her eyes caught mine, she narrowed them.

“How has riding with the guys been?” I tried my best to make casual conversation with her, but it was harder than I thought it would be. I didn’t trust her, and I knew she would give anything to get rid of me.

“Do I need to answer that?” She slipped inside the bathroom but didn’t close the door. I assumed she was checking to see if it was noticeable that she had been crying. It was, but that was only because I could see that look a mile away. I saw it most of my life whenever I looked in my own mirror.

“The rest of the day should be fun. You should slip on some jeans or something and relax with us.”

She leaned her head out into the hallway and just looked at me like I was crazy for even asking.

“Come on. What fun is it hanging out with rock stars if you don’t let your hair down and party with them every once in a while?”

“This is my job, Cass. I’m not here to party. I am here to work.”

“You can do both. You have a fun job—take advantage. I know the guys would love it.”

“Yeah, right.” She snorted.

“You catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar.”

“I’m not trying to catch anything.” She leaned out into the hall again. “Especially whatever diseases these guys have.”

I laughed, shocked that she had cracked a joke.

“Well, I can’t say what is getting passed around with the twins, but Tucker is a good guy.” I tapped my bottle against the table. “So is Eric,” I called a little louder.

“I doubt that.”

I walked back down the hall a few steps so I wouldn’t have to speak too loudly.

“Seriously. He had his heart broken, and he has kind of closed himself off to women. I’ve never seen him touch a groupie.”

“Who is missing out on the rock-star experience now?” She raised an eyebrow and I smiled.

“You know, we don’t have to be enemies.”

She sighed and leaned against the sink.

“I don’t want to be your enemy. I want what is best for the band.”

“The band should be happy. Tucker and I are happy together.”

She pulled her clip from her hair, and the curls cascaded down her back. She ran her fingers through it.

“You two are a powder keg waiting to be ignited. Did you already forget his fight with Eric, or is that just part of the experience, too?” Her attitude turned sour and I was ready to throw my hands up and tell her to fuck herself, but I still wanted to help Eric. Deep down she couldn’t be all that bad. Something was causing her to close off, and my guess was a relationship.

“That had nothing to do with the band. That was personal. It happens. We love each other very much, and I am not going anywhere. If you could accept that, maybe we could be friends.”

“I have plenty of friends.”

“The person who you were yelling at on the phone? Sounds an awful lot like the fights Tucker and I have that you are complaining about.”

“That is personal, and it is none of your damn business.” She was staring down at me now, towering over me in her heels with her finger dangerously close to my face.

“If we were friends, you and I could talk about it. It may surprise you, but besides being the band-wrecking whore you think I am, I can be a pretty good listener.” I took a step closer.

“Oh, I can imagine the advice you have to give me. You travel the country with your personal rock star, with no real responsibilities, no cares in the world, just along for the ride. . . .” She scoffed. “Your life is a joke.”

I narrowed my eyes, wanting to hate her, but suddenly I realized that her hatred didn’t come from disgust or pity. . . . She was jealous. It knocked the wind out of me.

“You know, maybe if you spent your time getting to know me instead of judging me, you may learn we have some things in common.”

The door to the bus opened and Donna slid the bathroom door closed. Eric stepped on the bus, followed by the twins with fresh cases of beer in hand as they talked about a muscle car they had seen in the parking lot.

“Hey, Cass. Welcome to the party,” Eric called out when he saw me. I gave him a smile, but I felt like I’d let him down given that I didn’t make any inroads with Donna. I wasn’t good at making friends. It wasn’t until I moved to Savannah that I made my first real friend, and I had left her behind when I came on tour with Tucker.

“Let’s get it started.” I walked toward the front of the bus as I heard Donna exit the bathroom and retreat into her bedroom. I sighed, feeling defeated. Tucker stepped onto the bus and held up an alligator head.

“What is that for?” I asked as I grabbed an unopened beer from Eric’s hand.

“I thought it would look cool mounted on the front of the bus or something.”

I rolled my eyes as I cracked open my beer and took a drink.

“No way.” Eric grabbed it from Tucker’s hands with a grin. “I want to hang it on a chain and wear it as a necklace.”

“Don’t be stupid.” Tucker took back the head and gave Eric a playful shove. The bus lurched forward, and we all grabbed onto whatever we could to keep from falling. “Jesus, Ivan. A little warning next time?” The driver waved his hand as an apology, and Tucker shook his head, laughing.

“Where’s Filth?” I asked, expecting at least a few of the members to join us.

“Band meeting or some shit. They will get up with us at the next stop,” Eric replied as he grabbed himself a can of beer. He held it over the sink and grabbed a knife from the drawer.

“What is he doing?”

“Being an idiot,” Terry answered.

“I want to be an idiot, too.” Chris shoved by his brother and grabbed a beer.

Eric punctured the can and held it to his lips as he opened the tab on top. Within seconds the can was drained into his mouth, and he slammed it into the sink. Chris took his place and repeated the process.

“You’re next,” he said to me, and I shook my head.

“I am not doing that. I’ll spill it all over me.”

“It’s not that hard.”

“That’s what she said!”

Everyone laughed so loudly I didn’t hear Donna approach from behind me. They stopped laughing, and for a second I thought I had grown a third eye.

“I’d like a turn.” She was speaking without the hard edge to her voice I was used to. I spun around to see Donna wearing an old pair of faded jeans and a black tank top. Her hair was down, and she instantly looked ten years younger. She could only be in her midtwenties at most.

The guys just stared at her like they didn’t know who she was.

“Grab Donna a beer, Eric. I’m after her,” I said.

She gave me an appreciative smile, and I returned it, hoping that things were going to get better after all. This was step in the right direction.

Tucker plugged an old iPod into the little radio they picked up at a truck stop along the tour, and we all relaxed, singing along to music from the eighties and nineties. We took turns shotgunning beers, and after a few, we were brave enough to try Chris’s beer bong. The hours began to fly by as we all laughed and shared stories. Donna didn’t speak very much, but she listened intently, and Eric made an effort to ask her questions, encouraging her to be a part of the conversation. Under his angry exterior, he was a really great guy.

Tucker and I made sure Eric and Donna sat next to each other whenever we could make it happen. She relaxed as the night wore on, and eventually she was smacking him on the arm when he picked on her and bumping her shoulder against his.

“We should hit a strip club,” Chris said as he pulled the tab off his empty beer can and tossed it at Tucker.

“Come on, Chris, we need to stay on schedule,” Donna replied with a small laugh as Eric put his hand over her mouth to keep her from saying we shouldn’t go.

“You can’t go wrong with strippers.” Eric shrugged as Donna bit into his finger and pried his hand from her mouth. “Ow! What the fuck!”

She rolled her eyes and got up from the table, heading for the bathroom. Eric leaned forward and tried to whisper, but in his drunken state it was actually louder than his normal voice.

“I had no idea she was hiding under all that bitchiness and long skirts.”

“I think she likes you,” I whispered back and smiled. Tucker picked up his beer and tipped the can toward Eric in agreement before taking a small sip.

“Too bad she’s our fucking manager.” He shook his head.

Tucker glanced over at me and I knew he was second-guessing my plan. Donna came back out and propped herself against the counter, grabbing another beer from the fridge and sipping it.

“Why don’t we find a place to play a few games of pool?” I suggested, hoping that a bar atmosphere would be enough to make the single guys happy.

“You don’t want to play me in pool. I’m practically a professional,” Eric said.

Terry laughed out loud and patted Eric hard on the back.

“What? I could kick your ass!” Eric eyed Terry, and I knew he wanted to accept his challenge.

“I don’t know how to play,” Donna spoke up, but she didn’t object.

“That’s perfect. Eric can teach you. It would be nice to all hang out somewhere a little less crowded,” I suggested. Everyone looked to Donna as if she was in charge of their every move. I sighed and pushed against Tucker so he would let me out from the table.

I made my way to the driver, bracing myself on the back of his seat.

“Take us somewhere with beer and pool tables.”

He nodded and gave me a thumbs-up. I patted him on the shoulder and walked to the little kitchen, leaning against the counter next to Donna. She seemed far less intimidating without her high heels.

“Fine.” She rolled her eyes. “I need off this death trap anyway. It’s making me sick.”

“Should we let Filth know? We need to stick together for the next show,” Chris said.

Shit. I hadn’t thought that far ahead. Nothing good could come from Eric watching Sarah making out with Derek. Before I could think of a proper excuse to protest, Chris was on his phone and calling up Derek. They talked for a minute before he hung up and nodded, letting us know they had agreed.

I looked at Tucker, and he just shook his head, knowing tonight was a bust. I looked over at Donna who was staring at Eric. Just great. She was finally starting to come around, and now it was going to explode in her face.

We pulled off the highway about fifteen minutes later, the sun sinking behind the trees. I stepped off the bus, and Sarah came bounding over to me, a smile plastered on her face.

“You’re in a better mood.” I swayed on my feet.

“Derek wants me to marry him!” She covered her mouth to stifle a giggle.

“He what?” I didn’t mean to sound horrified, but I could not believe the night was turning out this way. Just a few hours ago, she was on the verge of tears thanks to that guy, and now she was ecstatic.

“He didn’t propose, like, officially.” She rolled her eyes and grabbed my arm, pulling me away from the bus door. I was thankful for that. In my shock I forgot that the guys would be coming out right behind me. “It was crazy. We had a bad night, and I really thought he was going to break it off again. We went into the back of the bus about ten minutes ago. I was preparing for him to tell me it wasn’t working, but he told me he loved me and he was sorry for everything. He said he wanted me to be his wife! Can you believe it?”

I really couldn’t believe it. Sarah seemed so strong and always had sage advice for whatever I was going through, but something was very off about her relationship, and she didn’t seem capable of seeing it. But I had to admit to myself that I didn’t know Derek very well, and the only thing I was certain of was that right now Sarah was happy, and I should be happy for her.

“Congratulations!” I pulled her in for a hug.

“Thank you! It means a lot to me. You’re my best friend, you know that?”

I beamed. I’d never been anyone’s best friend before, and the words made me feel warm, loved, appreciated.

“Just don’t say anything. We’re kind of keeping it to ourselves, you know, until it’s official with a ring and all that.”

Tucker came up behind me and threw his arm over my shoulders.

“You ready to go have some fun?” he asked.

“Absolutely.” I looked behind us at the bands as they stood together and talked. “Let’s get this over with.”