Shut Out

Chapter twelve

"So you've been reading Aristophanes, huh?"

I jumped, and the book I was trying to shelve slipped from my hand and thudded to the floor. My empty fingers groped for the stability of the wooden shelves as the ladder wobbled beneath me, my feet scurrying to regain their balance.

"Whoa," Cash said.

His hands were on my hips then, steadying me. My T-shirt had ridden up slightly as I'd stretched my arms to the highest shelves, so his fingers made direct contact with the exposed skin just above the waistband of my jeans. A small burst of fire pulsed through me, starting at the places where he was touching me and spreading to the rest of my body.

"Sorry," he said. "I didn't mean to scare you. You okay?"

"Fine."

His hands were still on me.

I wondered why he didn't let me go. I was fine now; he could have pulled his hands back. But he didn't. And I wanted him to keep touching me. I knew I shouldn't — if my own boyfriend's touch made me stiffen, Cash's should revolt me — but my body hummed in stark disagreement with my brain.

His hands stayed on my hips as I climbed down the ladder, guiding me to safety on the floor in front of him. Once my sneakers hit the thin brown carpet, he let me go, his fists moving instantly into his pockets.

"You okay?" he repeated, as if I hadn't answered.

"Fine," I said again. "God, are you taking a class in sneaking up on people or what?"

Cash shrugged a shoulder. "Natural talent, I guess."

"A natural talent that is going to get me killed one day. Can you please not do that? I could have fallen off the ladder and broken my neck. Or at the very least my leg or my ankle or something. Or my wrist, and then shelving books would have been hard, and Jenna would have yelled at me — and at you for making me fall, and…" I trailed off. I should have just shut up after "Fine."

"I'll work on it," Cash said with a sheepish smile.

"Right. Good."

"So," he said. "Aristophanes?"

"What?"

"I was trying to ask if you'd been reading Aristophanes," he repeated. "You know, the Greek playwright? One of the forerunners of satire?"

"I've never heard of him," I admitted, a little ashamed. "Who is he? What has he written?"

"Oh, uh, well," Cash said, his cheeks turning just a touch red. "His most famous play is probably The Clouds. They don't really teach him in high school, though — too racy. I guess the

fact that I know who he is really proves what a dork I am, huh?" He laughed, scuffing the toe of his sneaker against the floor.

Great. He was a hottie, a good kisser, and a literature buff. God really must have had a sense of humor, because if I had to name my biggest turn-on, it was literature. And he had just recommended a book that I didn't know, that wasn't taught in school. If I were single, there would be no better pick-up line.

Suddenly, I found myself thinking back to Atonement — you know, the scene in the book where the two main characters have sex in the library? Even though Chloe said doing it against bookshelves would be really uncomfortable (and she'd probably know), it was still a fantasy of mine. Like, what's more romantic than a quiet place full of books?

But I shouldn't have been thinking about my library fantasies.

Especially while I was staring at Cash.

In the middle of a library.

"So," I said, clearing my throat and trying to sound cool and detached. Instead, what came out was pretty flirtatious. What was it about this guy that always made me do that? "It's funny. You can't do geometry but you read Greek plays?"

Cash's blush deepened. "Yeah… I know it's a little lame. But you're sure you've never read anything by Aristophanes? Not even one play?"

"It's not lame," I said quickly. Too quickly. "I love the Greeks. I've read Antigone and Medea and Oedipus and — "

"Wow," Cash teased. "No wonder you seem so tense sometimes; all you read are tragedies. Do you have something against smiling?"

"No, I just… always end up reading the tragedies, I guess."

He leaned a little closer. "Maybe reading a comedy would be just the thing to help you loosen up a bit. You have a great smile — I'd like to see it more often."

I looked down, smoothing my hair behind my ear. "Thank you." Then we were staring at each other and I felt my heart speed up and I knew this wasn't the situation I wanted to be in, so I said, "Anyway, yes. I mean, I'm sure — I haven't read anything by Aristophanes."

I turned and knelt down to pick up the book I'd dropped off the ladder, needing to look at anything besides Cash. Why did I always fall into his trap?

Maybe if I ignored him, he would walk away. I could go back to shelving and Jenna could give him something to do and I wouldn't have to look at him for the rest of the day. Ignore, ignore, ignore.

"He wrote about a sex strike, you know."

"What?"

I looked up and found Cash grinning down at me. So much for ignoring him. Quickly, I shifted back into a standing position, hugging the retrieved book to my chest.

"Aristophanes," Cash said, moving a little closer to me. "He wrote a play about a group of women in Athens going on a sex strike to convince their husbands to end a war. I figured maybe that was where you got the idea."

I felt the heat rise into my cheeks. "You know about the…?"

"Everyone does," Cash said. "All the guys on the team are talking about it."

"Oh."

"So," he said, leaning against the bookshelves beside me, keeping his eyes trained on mine. "Why are you doing it?"

"To end the rivalry."

"No. I know that part. I mean…" He hesitated, running a hand over his head and smoothing his short brown hair. "I mean, what made you decide to do it now? Like, what pushed you over the edge or whatever?"

I bit my lip and looked over at the books to my left. We were in the D's. The spine of A Tale of Two Cities jumped out at me from the shelf, golden letters popping off the black binding.

I wasn't going to tell Cash the truth. No way. I wasn't going to tell him about my boyfriend putting the fights before me, or about the booty call. He was the last person I wanted to know about my problems with Randy. Not that we had many. Just this stupid feud.

Instead, I needed him to know that I was perfectly happy with my relationship. Maybe if he got the message, he'd stop flirting with me. Stop reminding me of his rejection.

"I got really upset when that kid tore his ACL," I said, deciding to tell part of the truth. "When you told Randy about it in the cafeteria, I realized that the fighting had gone too far. And then Randy got a little banged up, too, and I just… I knew the war wouldn't end until both sides called it quits, so I came up with the plan to have a strike. The girls all loved it."

"Yeah, poor Pete." Cash sighed. His flirty smile melted for an instant into a softer, more natural one. "I think he'll be able to play next season. I told him I'd practice with him in the spring so he doesn't lose his place on the team."

"That's nice of you."

"He's a good kid. He deserves a shot." He hesitated for a second, glancing away from me when he asked, "So how does Randy feel about this sex-strike thing? I'm sure he hates it."

"Why do you say that?" I asked, shifting a little so we weren't standing so close.

"I don't, uh — I just know it's hard on a lot of us guys," he said quickly. "Just wondering how he's coping."

"Randy's cool with it," I said, which wasn't really a lie. He hadn't taken me seriously enough to be unhappy about the strike. "I mean, he's gotten hurt in this rivalry. I'm sure he'll be grateful once it's all over."

"Uh-huh. Well, that's nice." For a second, Cash looked annoyed. Or at least I thought he did. Because I blinked and the expression had left his face. He was smiling again, and I was sure I'd imagined the whole thing. "I should get back to work," he said. "See you around, Lissa."

Then he turned and left me between the stacks, not as happy to see him go as I'd hoped I'd be.

Logan was five minutes and sixteen seconds late to pick me up. I didn't even bother asking where he'd been, because I was sure he'd been at home since right after five, when his shift finished at the auto parts store. Most likely, he'd just lost track of time. I didn't quite understand how anyone could do that. I was always aware of what time it was. Constantly. How did someone let seconds or minutes or hours just slip away from them?

I don't know. But Logan was the master of it.

We were about to head out the door when I heard Cash call to me from across the room. I turned and found him hurrying toward me.

"Here," he said, handing a thin paperback to me. "I checked it out for you earlier."

"What is it?" I asked.

"Lysistrata," he said. "The Aristophanes play I told you about. I thought you might find it interesting. Considering your plans and all."

"Oh, um… Thanks."

"No problem. Let me know what you think." He smirked and touched my shoulder playfully. "Who knows? Maybe you'll like getting away from the tragedies."

"Maybe."

"Well, I'll let you get going. See you later, Lissa."

"All right. See you," I said, moving toward the library door, holding the copy of Lysistrata to my chest. I was sort of curious to read it. "Okay, Logan, let's go…. Logan?"

I glanced over my shoulder. Logan was talking to Jenna at the front desk, and she was totally chatting it up with him. Flipping her hair, batting her eyes, smiling. Ugh. My skin crawled. Jenna didn't smile. Not unless she really wanted something.

Like my brother, apparently.

"Logan," I said too loudly. "Hey, come on. Let's go."

"All right, all right." He sighed, stepping away from the desk.

I squeezed my eyes shut and took a deep breath, trying to erase from my memory the image of Jenna and my brother flirting.

"You don't have to be so demanding, you know," Logan said, walking out to his Jeep with me at his side. "It really isn't very attractive."

"Thank you," I said. "I appreciate it. Now can we just get out of here?"

I took a look back at the library as we drove away. I could see Cash walking across the parking lot, a streetlight casting his shadow across the pavement. When I looked away, I realized I was hugging the copy of Lysistrata like it was a prized possession.

Quickly, I stuffed the book into my backpack and, before Logan could notice anything was up, I started commandeering the radio dial.