Toxic

Chapter Twenty-Four

Getting comfortable with someone like Gabe was risky — especially considering our shaky start. But he was impossible to resist — especially when he was himself — something I noticed he hadn’t been a lot lately. —Saylor

Saylor

“Tell me one scary thing,” Gabe asked once we were in the car driving back toward campus. He’d called Wes to tell him that we’d gone out to dinner, and Lisa and Kiersten were more than happy to go pick up my car for me so he could take me home. I wasn’t sure if that was the girls playing matchmaker or just being nice.

“Oooh, only one?” I teased.

We’d spent three hours at the restaurant — and he’d actually behaved. Had it been Christmas, it would have been a Christmas miracle, like something you’d actually watch on TV. We didn’t fight, the insulting turned to teasing, and honestly it felt good.

Everything except the fact that the more Gabe showed me of himself—

The more I liked him.

I was more comfortable hating him.

“Only one.” He turned briefly toward me and flashed a gorgeous grin. A totally, mind-numbing, rock star grin. He reminded me of someone, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. Maybe he just had one of those faces, or maybe he was just that gorgeous that my mind was playing tricks on me.

“Performance anxiety,” I answered honestly. “I always mess up when I have to perform my pieces. My hands freeze up and I don’t know. It never fails. I’ll practice for hours on end and still nothing. I always end up messing it up. So I kind of hate large crowds or auditoriums and baby grand pianos.”

“That was like five things.” Gabe pointed out.

“Hey!”

He patted my leg. “I’m kidding, Saylor.”

That hand may as well have burned a hole through my jeans. I could feel him all the way down to my toes.

As if noticing the effect he’d suddenly had on me, he jerked back and cleared his throat. “So, performance anxiety. I think I can help with that.”

“I’ve pictured them naked. Doesn’t help,” I muttered lamely.

“Clearly you’re not picturing the right naked people.”

“Gabe, I could picture you naked and I’d still freak.”

The easy smile froze on his face. Wrong thing to say. Why did I have to be such an idiot?

And then the mask fell again and he shrugged. “Honey, if you saw me naked it wouldn’t be fear causing you to mess up the notes, trust me.”

“Cocky.”

“Absolutely,” he said quickly. “Although according to some, I’ve let myself go.”

“Let it go. Will I ever live that down now?”

“Probably not.” He chuckled as we pulled into the freshman dorms parking lot. “But seriously.” He turned off the car. “Let me help.”

I sighed. “Gabe, look… tonight was fun, right?”

“Yeah.” His brows knit together as if confused. “Of course it was.”

“And I really had fun with you.” I chewed my lower lip. “But last time we were in a practice room together, things got ugly. You were—”

“—not myself,” he inserted smoothly. “And I was pissed — not at you, just life. Wrong place, wrong time…”

“Twice in a row?”

He winced. “Afraid so.”

Logic told me to say no. Let it end here. Draw a line in the sand, so that we both knew where we stood. We were barely friends, and I would already be seeing him on a weekly basis because of the whole volunteer thing.

“Saylor…” His eyes pleaded with me. “Let me make it up to you.”

“I don’t know.”

“At least let me make up for five of them.”

“Five?” I shook my head. “Five what?”

“Tears.” He swallowed. His Adam’s apple bobbed up and down as he leaned in and brushed his thumb across my lips. “Let me make up for five of them. I know there were a hell of a lot more. All I’m asking for is five.”

“And then…”

“Give me the five tears… the five chances…” He sighed. Warmth radiated from him. “And then I’ll leave you alone.”

I looked at his lips then back at his eyes. “Okay. Five.” I reached for the handle to get out of the car, but he grabbed my other hand holding me in my spot.

“And just in case it wasn’t clear…” he whispered, his eyes taking on that dark hue I craved. “You really are.”

“Are what?”

“Downright. Beautiful. And I’m sorry.” He released my hand. Slowly, I inched out of the car and walked in a daze back to my dorm room.

I was half-tempted to bang my head against the brick wall too. Was tonight a dream? It sure felt like it, because the impossible had just happened.

Gabe had flown down to the pits of hell, bargained for his soul back, won, and returned to make amends.

Huh. Apparently miracles did happen.