Toxic

Chapter Forty-Four

Funny — I’d never realized how stressed out Gabe was until I finally saw him resting. His face was slack, his jaw unclenched. He was male beauty personified — and all mine. For now, at least. For now, he was mine. —Saylor

Saylor

The bastard fell asleep.

I laughed softly and tucked my body next to his on the couch. My stomach was grumbling, but I decided to nap for a bit with him before ordering food. The minute my head fell against his chest, he wrapped his arms around me.

Gabe’s mouth found mine again.

We kissed, lazily kissed, neither one of us reached for each other, we merely lay there and let our lips graze and nip at one another.

It felt beautiful.

If our first kiss was a chaotic symphony exploding with all the wrong notes in the wrong places — our third kiss? Our fourth? Were a song. A very pretty, perfectly played, song.

“I miss her,” he whispered against my hair. “I miss her so much. How can I be so happy to be with you, to be in your arms? How can I want you so badly? Yet still miss her?” Gabe’s eyes didn’t open, if anything he squeezed them shut tighter and pulled me against him.

“Because…” I played with his golden hair, in the firelight it looked like a halo. “She was your first love, and every day you see her face you’re reminded that although she’s still here — she isn’t.”

Gabe sighed. “I feel like my heart’s getting ripped in two. I feel like one day you’re going to wake up and realize that this drama isn’t worth it. That I’m not worth it. Saylor, tell me tomorrow things won’t be different.”

“But they will be.” I sighed and tucked the hair behind his ear. “Because the skeletons are finally gone, the scales from people’s eyes are going to eventually be lifted, and you’re going to have to make a choice.”

He shuddered. “I would never choose her over you.”

“But Gabe…” I felt the tears well in my eyes. “You already have. Even if it wasn’t on purpose — you already have.”

His eyes flashed open. I could tell he wanted to argue with me just by the way his eyes bored into mine as if pleading for me to take it back. But that’s the thing with truth — once you speak it out loud…

It’s out there.

He kissed my forehead. “I could love you.”

“So you keep saying.” I offered a sad smile. “But for what it’s worth. I could love you too.”

We didn’t eat.

We spent the rest of the night kissing, falling asleep, only to wake up kissing again. I had no idea what time it even was. The house felt like a fairy tale. I imagined if we stayed there forever we’d be happy — we’d still be kissing — and we’d be happy, but that wasn’t life.

The universe must have heard my thoughts because Gabe’s cell started buzzing in his pocket.

With a curse he pulled it out. “Hey, Wes, sorry… fell asleep.”

Gabe closed his eyes and let out a long sigh.

“What channel?”

Dread exploded all over my body as Gabe slowly rose from the couch, walked over to the large flatscreen, and grabbed the remote.

Color invaded the living room.

The picture on the screen took my breath away. It was one of Kimmy before the accident, so full of life, so gorgeous it hurt to look at her. And then a photo of Ashton Hyde.

And finally a photo of Gabe’s family with the caption. “Devastated Father finally reaches out to long lost son.”

“He’s finally come home!” Gabe’s dad said on the TV screen. “The prodigal has returned after our insistence that he allow us to be a part of his life again. We’re so saddened that he felt the need to go to such extremes to push us and the rest of his beloved friends and fans from his life. But know this, Ashton Hyde.” His dad stared through the TV screen. “Nothing will ever be the same. Now that you’ve returned — we won’t ever let you go.”

Gabe sank to the floor on his knees.

I ran to him, wrapping my arms around him as I rocked him back and forth. “It’s going to be fine,” I whispered. Even though I knew it was a lie. The thing about lies? They only work if the other person doesn’t know the truth. And we both knew.

Nothing. Would ever. Be the same.