The Weight of Souls

10 I SHOULD HAVE TAKEN YOU AWAY

Dad holds my hand as I squirm. His new wheelchair digs into my side, but he doesn’t loosen his grip. I’m supposed to be looking at the coffin, or maybe the priest, but there’s a man striding towards us across the graveyard.

He’s wearing a white coat: a doctor’s uniform. A stethoscope bangs against his chest as he nears. Why would a doctor be coming to the funeral? Even if I recognised him, or if he was one of Dad’s new friends, wouldn’t he have dressed in black like everyone else? The signs are there: he’s a ghost.

I try to pull free of Dad’s fingers and he leans across to put his mouth to my ear. “Stop it,” he hisses. His anger heats my face.

“But–”

“This is your mother’s funeral, have the grace to stand still.”

“There’s a g–”

He shakes my arm. “Your Mum’s being buried, Taylor. Stand still.”

Frozen by Dad’s anger I watch him approach. Tears blind me and when I can refocus his face looms above mine. I can’t stop myself flinching when he grabs my hand. Ice spikes into my arm and I jerk.

He shows teeth like tombstones. “That was easy.”

I stare at my hand where a black stain has splashed me to the wrist. Dad gives me another shake and wordlessly I raise my arm to show him the Mark.

His shoulders shudder then he fixes his gaze back on Mum’s grave.

“Mum says the Darkness will come for me.”

“Your Mum isn’t here, I am and I’m not having my daughter going out and approaching strange people.”

“But what if the Darkness comes?”

“It won’t.”

“Look at my hand.” Over the last couple of days the Mark has darkened. Now it looks like a hole through my palm.

“It’s just a skin condition.” Dad won’t meet my eyes. “You’ll be fine. If I have to lock you in your room I will.”

“You have to let me out. It’s school tomorrow.”

“We’ll see.” Dad rolls awkwardly in his chair towards the living room.

I lie in bed and stare at my hand. I can’t take my eyes off it. The Mark seems to grow every time I look away.

I know the ghost is waiting outside. I’ve seen him. At least when Dad lets me out he’ll be right there. But I’m afraid it might be too late by then.

A compilation CD is playing on a loop. My ears are tuned into the sound rather than the song. I’m terrified that the noise will suddenly cut out. I know that means the Darkness is coming.

I hear the mechanical rumble of Dad’s stair lift. Then it falls silent. My heart stops.

It’s here!

No, my music is still thumping loud as ever.

My heart stutters back to life and I clutch my chest as the stair lift coughs and continues to climb.

Finally Dad rolls into my room. I lie with my back to him and refuse to turn.

“Taylor, it’s time to get up.”

“A-are you going to let me out?” Hope trembles in my voice.

“No.” The carpet shushes as Dad comes nearer. His hand falls on my back. “This is for your own good, when you see there’s no Darkness coming, you’ll be able to get better.” In the periphery of my vision I see him pick up The Tale of Oh-Fa and remove it from my bedside.

Still I cradle my fist under my chin and refuse to speak. My skin is numb where the Mark stains it. When the Darkness comes will my whole body feel the same way?

“Taylor, come to the kitchen. You have to eat something.”

I shake my head.

“I’m angry with your mum, you know.” His voice is low and I almost look at him.

“Why?” My eyes fall on a shadow on the wall and I jerk. Is it moving?

“She’s done this to you with her horror stories. I should have been stronger that day, when it all started for you. I should have taken you away.”

Staring through the dawn-brushed window I realised I was looking at the spot the ghost had occupied for those three weeks after Mum’s funeral. During the final week I didn’t eat or sleep. Dad considered hospitalising me, I know he did. But finally he relented and let me out. Luckily the killer had been easy to find and Mark, even for a young teenager, so the Darkness hadn’t taken me. It had been close though. Everywhere I looked the shadows had been trembling.

So I had around three weeks to find Justin and get him to take me to his killer.

The school corridors were quiet once more. Hush reigned where usually there would have been pre-class chaos. One of the boys from the lower school jostled me as he ran through the common room. I caught him with a frown, but he had already stopped dead with one foot raised in ridiculous apprehension. He licked his lips as he slowly put down his foot and edged between the static groups. I watched him break into a self-conscious jog as soon as the double doors closed on his back, then turned as Hannah closed her hand around my elbow.

“You’re here early.” She dragged me towards an unoccupied table. “You missed the police yesterday. They talked to us in assembly, then Tamsin went home.” She lowered her voice. “Justin's missing. Isn't it awful?”

I nodded as we skirted the news-thrilled whisperers. Then I stopped, pulling Hannah short.

Tamsin had leaped to her feet and now stood over her hags. Her blonde hair was in its usual perfect waves, but her make-up was just that little bit off, giving her face the expression of a plastic doll left too long by a roaring fire. The reddening of her cheeks added to the effect of heat-blast Barbie.

“What would you know about it?”

She slammed her hand down on the table, making books jump. Her girlfriends avoided her eye and one in particular leaned from her wrath, so unbalanced it looked like she’d fall off her chair any second.

Tamsin spun to face the rest of us. “You’re all thinking it, aren’t you? That he’s run away and it’s my fault because he was my boyfriend. Well, you’re wrong.” She tottered away from the table, fists clenched. “Anyone else want to say it? Come on.” Her eyes narrowed as she zeroed in on Hannah and me: somehow the only others standing in her eyeline. “How about you, Oh?” She angled towards me, propelled by fury. Her face thrust against mine, her hot breath slightly sour. This close I could see how the whites of her eyes had become yellowed and bloodshot. They were eyes I’d seen in the mirror often enough. She had been crying. A lot.

“You want to say something?”

For once I stepped back, my instinct to provoke dead in my throat. Tamsin placed both hands flat on my chest and tensed to shove. I raised my hands and Hannah spoke over my shoulder.

“We don’t think it’s your fault, Tamsin.” Her soft voice soothed. “No one does. They’re just trying to make sense of what’s happened.”

“You’d have been the first to say it if it was someone else,” I snapped. So maybe the bitch was still kicking in there. Behind me Hannah groaned.

Tamsin snarled and raised a hand. I knew the slap was going to land and had barely a second to brace myself for head-spinning contact. But it never came. I blinked to see Pete standing with one hand around Tamsin’s wrist.

“Get off me.” Tamsin wheeled on him. “I’m going to kill her.”

Pete tilted his head meaningfully. Behind him James stood with his arms folded, Harley at his side.

“This isn’t the time.” James’ eyes raked me from head to foot and I shuddered, feeling as if I needed a shower. “Pull it together, Tamsin.”

Slowly she nodded and Pete released her. She stepped into James’ orbit. “You’ll get yours.” Her lips twitched and James curled a big hand around her shoulder, holding her still.

“Mr Barnes wants to talk to us.” He spoke to Tamsin, but remained looking at me. “Let’s go.”

The whole common room watched as the four headed towards Mr Barnes’ office. Breathless silence persisted for a moment, only the rustling of paper and nervous clearing of throats filled the air. Then heads closed together and the gossip started up more persistent than before. Where was Justin Hargreaves? Why would he have run away? Had something sinister happened?

Only I knew that he wouldn’t be coming back. And I very much needed to speak to the dead bastard.

“Your eczema’s bad again.” Hannah poked at my glove. “Is that why you ditched school yesterday?” Her tone held a gentle accusation.

“I’m sorry, Han. It came on really fast.”

“It always does.” She rubbed her fingers through her dandelion hair. “I just wish you’d let me know. I looked for you all morning. After that assembly, I was worried.”

“I didn't realise.” I shouldered my bag. “I really am sorry.”

“You could have answered your phone, or replied to my texts. I couldn’t even concentrate on Supernatural I was so worried.”

I nodded, thinking of my phone turned to silent in my pocket the whole time I was breaking into the mariticide's house. It was late when I'd picked up Hannah's worried messages, too late to get back to her. “I can't say it won't happen again, but I'll try harder.” My heart played a panicked staccato; Hannah couldn't be mad at me.

Hannah sighed. “It’s just been happening a lot lately. I wish you’d–”

“What?”

“I wish you’d tell me what’s going on. I could do something to help.”

I exhaled slowly. “Is this about Pete?”

“No.” We stopped outside the classroom. “Maybe. I shouldn’t let him get to me.”

“No, you shouldn’t.” I squeezed her arm inside mine and pulled her to one side as our classmates pushed to get through the door. Finally the black rings round her eyes registered with me. “A Supernatural marathon, or did your mum keep you up late again?”

Hannah sagged. “She made me clean the house before Carl finished his shift. The Winchesters kept me company.”

“What about your homework?”

Hannah shrugged. “I did it after.”

“Damn it, Han, what did your mum do while you were cleaning her mess?”

Hannah’s mouth curled bitterly. “She went down the pub then passed out in front of CSI.”

I squeezed her tighter; there was nothing else I could do. “Bet Carl was pleased.”

“They had a fight when he got in. Then they made up. Loudly.” She winced and I pressed my lips together. Sometimes I wished I could kick Hannah’s mum, but there was always this tiny traitorous voice inside saying, “at least she still has a mum”. I squashed it into silence.

“You should come over after school.”

Hannah nodded. “Your dad won’t mind me staying?”

“Does he ever? So… what colour this time?”

Hannah grinned. “I’m working my way through the neons. What do you think?”

“Love it.”

Her hair had long turned into a frizz, but it was the one thing her mum couldn’t take away. I understood that. Hannah had control over her hair and she made it glow.

I glanced back down the corridor towards Mr Barnes’ office. Tamsin and the others were still inside. “I forgot something in my locker, see you in class?”

Hannah looked alarmed. “You aren't skipping out on me again?”

I shook my head. “I'll be back before bell. Save me a seat.”

Hannah inhaled and didn't move.

“Honest, Han, I'm coming back.”

She glanced at my gloved hand.

“What?” Self-consciously I folded my arms, hiding the glove from sight.

“You bail on me a lot when your eczema is bad,” Hannah shrugged. “It's a pattern.”

“Oh.” I worried at the glove with my nails. “I hadn't noticed.”

“Whatever, it's no big. I'll save you a seat.”

“I will see you in a minute.”

“Sure.”

Hannah followed the last of the hags into the classroom and she didn't look back.

I wanted to go and check the waiting area outside Mr Barnes’ office. I hoped Justin might be hanging around waiting for his girlfriend. But the hallway was empty and the chairs sat unused. There was no sign of any dead.

I flexed my Marked hand and looked at the clock. There was still time for him to show up in class. If he still believed he was alive, he would come to school.

As I prepared to head back to the classroom, the door to Mr Barnes’ office opened. Pete stood with his back to me, still holding the handle down, but he made no further move to leave. Mr Barnes was just finishing up.

My breath shortened as I realised that I was alone and about to come face-to-face with the whole group. I wasn’t sure who I was more worried about, James or Tamsin. Normally I’d deal, but today they were unpredictable and with Justin missing, the teachers would let them get away with more than usual.

Swiftly I slipped into the shadow behind the drinks machine. It wasn’t the best hiding place, but it might keep them from noticing me.

I stared at the ceiling, pressing myself into the cool metal, as the door clicked shut.

“Tamsin, you gotta chill.” That was Harley.

“Mr Barnes says everything will be alright.” Pete. “He has a contact in the force, a bloke from his club. There’s nothing to worry about.”

“You – you think they’ll find Justin?” Tamsin’s voice wobbled and I almost felt sorry for her.

“Yeah, they’ll find him.” That was James. “Let’s get to class.”

“We’re still meeting this week?” They were moving further down the corridor and I risked a look around the drinks machine. Tamsin was clinging onto James’ arm as if it were a lifebelt.

James nodded at her. “We have to show. People depend on us.”

At the back of the group Pete hesitated, then turned. I pulled back too slowly and his eye caught mine. He shook his head: disappointment, exasperation? I wasn’t sure. Either way, he said nothing, simply turned and trailed his gang into class.

I knocked my head against the drinks machine making it rattle and Mr Barnes emerged from his office.

“Are you waiting for me, Miss Oh?”

I clutched my bag. Moron. “No. I was just on my way to class.”

He frowned at me over his glasses and his pudgy fingers worked around his tie. “I don’t want any trouble today, Miss Oh. I’m thinking particularly of Justin's friends. They are having a difficult time and I do not want to hear reports of you antagonising them.”

“That’s not fair–” Heat flushed my chest.

“I don’t want to hear it, Miss Oh. Get to class.”

He closed his door in my face and I stood for a moment, shaking. My gloved hand wound around the straps of my pack and I tried not to picture winding it around his neck. Then I closed my eyes and exhaled. If only he was the sort to commit murder, I could stamp him with a one way ticket into the Darkness.

Stifling the fantasy I smirked, Mr Barnes wouldn’t be earning a trip to Anubis any time soon. But I could dream.

Above my head the class bell rang. Still no sign of Justin. I ground my teeth and ran down the corridor. If he didn’t show up in school today I’d have to start looking elsewhere. In a few short weeks the Darkness would be coming for the bearer of the Mark and I wasn’t going to be the one wearing it.

I slid into the chair next to Hannah, earning a tut from Mrs Pickard.

“I’m writing you up for lateness, Taylor.” She made a note in her book.

I nudged Hannah as I opened my bag. “Told you I’d be here.” I pulled out my pencil case and tried not to be stabbed by the fact that Hannah was relieved that I had shown. My heart tied in knots as she forced a grin.

“I know.” She cut her eyes towards Tamsin. “Check out the new seating arrangement.”

I hadn’t noticed. I raised my head and my eyebrows followed. James was now in Justin’s seat and Tamsin had left her table of hags and moved onto his right. Pete and Harley sat facing them, still opening their books.

We weren’t the only ones who had taken note. Murmurous comments blew through the rest of the class, earning defiant glares from a flush-faced Tamsin.

Mrs Pickard sat for a moment at her desk then seemed to come to some sort of decision. She stood.

“Right, class, I know that one of your number isn’t here today and that things aren’t quite as normal. I know you all have questions and we hope and trust that Justin will be back with us very soon and that he will be able to answer some of those questions for himself. In the meantime…” she glanced out of the window. “You won’t be taking much in today. I wasn’t going to do this till later in the term, but we’ve been looking at Romeo and Juliet, so I’ve got two films for you – one by Franco Zeffirelli and the other by Baz Luhrmann. Over the next few lessons I’m going to let you watch both.” She glowered at us as she patted towards the light switch. “I give you fair warning, next week I’ll want essays comparing their treatment of the material, so this isn’t time off. Pay attention and take notes. It’ll be Zefirelli’s version first. Boys, I don’t want any silliness during the balcony scene.” She turned off the light. “Harley, get the blinds will you?”

I tensed up. I was probably the only person in class who hated it when the teacher put on a film, purely because I couldn’t see out of the window. From my seat I normally had a good view of the entrance and of any ghosts drawn to the school.

“Taylor, are you with us?”

“Yes, Miss.” I dragged my eyes away from the tiny slice of car park revealed by the pulled blind. Justin remained absent. I shifted my chair so I would have a good view of the classroom door. If he came in, I’d spot him.

Halfway through the lesson I gave up. Justin wasn’t coming. I shifted my attention to the screen. Juliet had just discovered Romeo’s true name. I sighed and reached for my pencil, knocking my notebook onto the floor as I did so.

Mrs Pickard glared pointedly and I bent over to pick it up. In the darkness beneath the table across from us, James and Tamsin were holding hands.

“I'm back.” I dropped my bag in the hall. Not one teacher had given us homework and we’d spent the day watching films or reading quietly. During break nervous energy overspilled into fights and races around the quad. Tamsin had gone home at lunchtime. I’d considered following her, hoping Justin might be lingering at her house, but I’d shelved that idea. Hannah needed me to be in school for at least one full day and I still had time to find him, at least for now.

Dad rolled out of his office, his face grave. “Hannah’s mum called. She said there’s a kid from your class gone missing.” His face told me what he thought of Hannah’s mum calling him. He liked her as much as I did.

“Is she worried?” I sat on the stairs so I could be at his level.

“I think she just wanted to gossip.” Dad pushed his chair closer. “It’s that boy you were in trouble with last week, isn’t it? Are you OK?”

“I didn’t even like him.” I shrugged.

“Sometimes that makes it worse.” Dad pressed forward. “Do you feel... guilty?”

“Why would I?”

Dad cleared his throat. “No reason.” His eyes froze on my white glove. “You didn’t tell me your condition had returned.”

I shoved my hand behind my back. “It was yesterday.”

“Still.” His chair pinned me to the stairs as he reached for my arm.

I snatched it out of reach. “Do you really need a sample?”

Dad dropped his hand. “No, that’s not it. I just wanted to make sure you were alright.”

“I’m fine, Dad.” I tried on a smile. “Hannah’s coming over later.”

He glanced at my gloved hand again. “You aren’t… going out?” Out after a killer. He hated saying it and didn’t believe it anyway.

“Not yet.” There was a loose thread on my glove from all my picking. I tugged at it, avoiding his eyes.

“Good.” He glided back, gave me some room. “I have to do a bit of work – a teleconference with the bank. They want to talk about diversifying the mutual fund we got with your mum’s life insurance. And I need to check on our stocks and shares, make sure her family money is still working as hard as it can.” He rubbed his hands through his hair and glanced at his office. “We’re fine financially, but my research has thrown up a couple of ideas I want to run with, so I’m going to set some wheels in motion with the patent office. Anyway, when I’m off the phone, I thought I might take you out… and Hannah of course. We could go down the river. I know you usually prefer to stay in, but it’s such a nice day.”

Was it? I’d spent the whole journey home watching for Justin and keeping an eye out for other restless dead. I looked out the window and saw the sun streaming through Mum’s ivy in a lacework of green and gold.

I closed my hand around the Mark on my fist. Normally I’d argue to stay in and order a pizza and it was true that I didn’t want to risk getting a second Mark, but I’d seen Justin hanging out at the river before. He hadn’t been at school, so I’d have to start looking further afield.

“OK, Dad.” I smiled at him. “We’ll go out.”

“We will?” For a moment surprise made his face comical. Then he grinned. “You can push me from Hammersmith Bridge and I’ll feed you guys at the Blue Anchor. What do you think?”

“Sounds great, Dad.” I remembered that there was a good view from the tables there. I could sit and keep watch while I ate. “I’ll call Hannah.” I jumped to my feet and Dad’s arms pumped purposefully as he rolled towards his office.

“I’ll be as quick as I can,” he called over his shoulder. “It’ll be great to have a date with my favourite girls.”

I sniggered. “Right.” I ran upstairs already pulling off my uniform and his wistful tones trailed me up the stairs.

“It’s been such a long time.”