The Weight of Souls

19 DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT

As soon as I arrived at the bus stop Hannah's face froze over. “I'm sorry, Han.” When she didn't even look at me, I stood awkwardly in front of her. “You know what I'm like. I had–”

“Stuff, yeah, I know what you're like.”

“So we're cool?”

Hannah shook her head. “We're not cool. You dumped me at school. You didn't call or text or anything for days. You left me on my own without a word. Pete's right. I’m right at the bottom of your list. I get that crap from my Mum, I shouldn't have to put up with it from my best friend.”

“I'll make it up to you.”

Hannah glowered for another minute; then she relented. “Tonight?”

“Tonight – we'll do a movie or something. You can come over.”

Hannah's face thawed. “Popcorn?”

“Of course.”

“Salted?”

“I hate salted.”

Hannah raised her eyebrows.

“Fine, salted. You're absolutely right.”

“Yes, I am.” She threaded her arm through mine. “Now let me tell you what my mum did to Carl.”

Just before the bell went Pete walked past. He appeared to be ignoring me completely, but as he strode by his hand flicked out and a piece of paper dropped into my lap. Hannah had her head buried in her bag, so I quickly opened it.

It had today's date, a postcode and a time: 7pm.

I inhaled sharply. I'd thought the meeting was going to be at school. Quickly I scribbled on the back. Can we make it earlier?

Then I grabbed a folder, took a deep breath and walked to Pete's table. Thankfully James hadn't arrived yet, but Harley grimaced like a gargoyle as I approached. “Hey, Chickety China,” he leered, but I could see his heart wasn't in it. Justin’s ghost was present, even when he wasn’t.

I grunted a reply and turned my back on him to put the folder in front of Pete. “Here's that work you wanted.”

Pete glared up at me. “What are you doing?”

“You don't need it anymore? Fine.” I lifted the folder, leaving the paper behind. Harley gave a desultory finger wave as I left.

When I reached my seat I looked back at Pete to check he'd got the message. He was just screwing the paper into a ball. He met my eyes, curled his lip and shook his head. Message received. My only chance to get into the V Club was at 7pm tonight, which meant I'd have to cancel on Hannah again.

My chest tightened. “Han?”

“Got it.” She rose from her bag clutching her lucky pencil. “Thought I'd lost it.”

“Look, about tonight...”

“I’m thinking old school X-Files marathon. We can start right at the beginning. It’ll be great.”

“Can we do it another time? I've just remembered I've got something on.”

Hannah leaned away from me. “Family stuff, right?” Her voice was cold and each word had sharp edges.

“That's right.” I spoke carefully, as if the wrong word would bring a blade down.

“Don't worry about it.” Hannah turned her back on me and laid her lucky pencil next to her work book.

“So we'll do Thursday?”

“I said, don't worry about it. Don't worry about rearranging, or fitting me into your busy schedule. Just don't worry about it. Not that you ever do.”

I tugged her arm with my gloved hand, trying to get her to look at me. “We'll do Thursday, definitely.”

“No, we won't. I'm done.” Finally she raised her head and her eyes were red-rimmed. “Either you see me tonight, or we don’t hang out ever again.”

I swallowed. My hand seemed to throb under the glove. I couldn't think of any other way of getting to the truth about Justin's death. I had to join the V Club.

“I-I can't do tonight, Han.”

“Whatever.” She scooped up her things.

“What are you doing?”

“Moving.”

She stalked away from the table and the sunlight caught in her hair, turning it into a neon halo. Her lucky pencil rolled from her book and landed on the floor in front of her.

“Hannah, wait.” The whole class heard. Like vultures they rotated to watch as Hannah's foot came down with a crunch. She wobbled and tilted, then went crashing down, her books flying around her.

As I leaped up to help, she glowered at me with poisonous eyes. Her face was completely colourless. “Leave. Me. Alone.”

My breath caught as she dumped her bag by a spare seat on the table furthest from me, and started rearranging her things.

Laughter reverberated from the doorway; Tamsin and James had arrived.

Trembling, I sat back down. My legs felt like jelly and my chest ached. I ducked my head and caught sight of my gloved hand.

“I hate you, Justin Hargreaves,” I muttered.