The Weight of Souls

21 THE STUPIDEST THING I’D EVER DONE

I stood with my toes just over the yellow line and allowed another train to speed by without me. The passengers stared at me with sullen incomprehension: why wouldn’t I want to cram myself into the carriage with them?

Sweat was pouring off me and I did a little jog on the spot. Crowded as the station was, I wasn’t even looking for ghosts. I was about to do the stupidest thing I’d ever done. Ever.

I hunched my shoulders and glanced along the platform. A little way down, so it didn’t look like we were together, James, Harley, Tamsin and Pete were standing in a group. Harley had his video phone out but he’d just turned it off, again. They were getting impatient.

How long did I have before they decided I’d failed the dare?

“I don’t think you should do this.” Justin hopped up and down behind me.

I ignored him. A bunch of late night commuters sprinted down the steps, glanced at me standing so close to the edge of the tunnel, then barrelled past, slowing only when they saw the display. Three minutes till the next Northern line train. They had time.

Of course, sometimes the displays were wrong.

I looked down at the yellow line again. It stood out, seemingly the only real colour in the filthy tunnel. There were posters on the walls opposite, flanking the station sign: large curved boards advertising Jack Daniels whiskey and “five star hotels at three star prices” in Sharm el-Sheik.

The picture on the Jack Daniels board was black and white anyway. The pyramids on the holiday board must have been bright once. Now the colours were muted and smeared with soot. My eye followed the curve of the tunnel down to the track. Black metal shone in oily lines. My feet trembled.

I leaned so that I could see a little way into the tunnel. It was a black hole, shuddering with the sound of distant trains, the stonework so stained I could barely see the pattern of interlocking bricks. A flash of movement beneath a rail drew my eyes to a small group of mice. There were probably rats in there as well.

In order to come down here I’d travelled on what Tamsin was quick to remind me was the longest escalator on the underground system. I’d felt sick and dizzy all the way, clutching the black rubber hand rail as the moving stair took me down and further down into the earth. I felt as though I’d been swallowed.

Crisp packets moved on the tracks, whipped up inside a sudden cyclone. The mice scurried away and another train appeared in front of me. I rocked back on my heels and Justin steadied me as doors opened a few steps down from where I stood.

A flood of people emerged, jostling, ignoring one another. The commuters who had run past me leaped on. The doors slammed with a high-pitched beep and the train heaved off again.

This time the display said three and a half minutes. I only had to stay in the tunnel for twenty seconds. I’d have three minutes to get there and back before the next train. If I was going, I had to go now.

I rocked forward and Harley raised his phone, but my feet wouldn’t move.

“You’re doing it, aren’t you?” Justin hopped again. “I wish you wouldn’t.”

“I have to,” I hissed.

“If you’re going, you have to go now.”

“I can’t move.” I glanced at Tamsin. She was openly laughing at me. “I can’t let them see me like this.” Tears came into my eyes. “I can’t fail in front of them.”

Justin swore viciously then exhaled. “I’m only doing this because… well, you’ll thank me later.”

Then he shoved me off the platform.

I shrieked as I stumbled forward and my feet met air. Then the back of my head smacked into the rim, my feet thudded on the ground and my shocked ankles collapsed. I shunted forward onto my hands and knees and gasped as my hands closed on the metal tracks.

Above me I heard panicked cries and a woman’s scream.

“Quick, take my hand.”

I looked up. A man leaned over the edge of the platform and his tie fluttered in the breeze that told me a train was moving somewhere. The whites of his eyes showed as he jerked his arm. “Reach for me.”

Justin landed next to me. “You’re here now. Do this fast.”

Tears wet my cheeks as I staggered to my feet. I looked into the tunnel. It was black as the Darkness. The Darkness could be just a few steps away waiting for me to come to It. My pulse raced until it felt like my chest was about to burst open. The only chance I had to save myself was to go into the dark. So I groaned and ran into the tunnel.

Ten steps in, that was the challenge. As I ran Justin ran with me, counting. “One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. Stop, Taylor.”

I screeched to a halt, heart pounding. Pitch black surrounded me like oil in a barrel. I couldn’t breath, I could only whimper in bursts of terror that brought in no air, only soot, and filled my lungs, coating them with darkness, until there was only the dark outside and pitch inside and I couldn’t see a thing.

“Taylor.” Justin was shaking me. “Twenty seconds, that’s all, come on, count with me.”

“I-I…” I stuttered. I couldn’t think, I certainly couldn’t count.

“One, two, three, four. It’s going to be alright. Seven, eight, nine, ten. Halfway there. Twelve, thirteen, fourteen. We’re getting you out of here in a few seconds. Sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty. Go, Taylor, GO.” He spun me and shoved me towards the end of the tunnel. I stumbled a few steps and my feet caught on something. I fell and smacked my head on a rail.

My ears rang as I touched the huge egg-shaped lump growing above my eye. My legs were moving though, as if I was still running. They knew what I should be doing.

“Get up!” Justin pulled at my elbow and I let him help me to my feet. Then a whoosh of air yanked my hair into a stream behind me. A McDonalds wrapper tangled on my ankles on its way into the tunnel and I tried to spin.

Suddenly the rush of air reversed. The train was on its way into the station.

Dimly, I heard more screaming. It wasn’t coming from me. My mouth was open, but no sound emerged. The sounds were from above; from the platform.

“Go. You can make it.” I couldn’t see Justin, or the panic in his face, but I could hear it in his voice. I broke into a run.

When I scrambled out of the tunnel entrance the man who had offered me his arm was still there, shouting and cursing at me. I reached for him, but he was too far away.

Behind me the pressure of the oncoming train struck my back, as if it was pushing the air ahead of it, compressing it into a smaller space. “Oh God.”

The words barely formed on my lips and Justin was there. Like a rugby player he slammed into my thighs and hurled me upwards. My gloved hand closed around the stranger’s wrist and he hauled me up, tearing my shirt, hurting my shoulder, but pulling me out of the way of the train. My feet cleared the platform edge just as the engine screeched into the station.

I rolled and the man and I pitched into a clutch of white-faced commuters.

“What the hell were you doing?”

“Stupid cow.”

“Jesus, are you alright?”

Their voices faded to nothing as the train doors hissed open and I spun back to face the tunnel.

Where was Justin?

An arm grabbed mine. “Move it.” I blinked. It was Pete, shoving me through the cluster of angry watchers. “Security will be on their way. Head for the way out.”

“Hey! I don’t think you should be going anywhere.” It was the man who had saved my life. He closed his fingers around my wrist, just above my filthy, soot-stained glove.

“Get off her.” James slammed his fist into the guy’s forearm to break his hold. Then Tamsin and Pete gripped both of my elbows and hustled me along the platform.

“I… I…” I wanted to say thanks. I wanted to find Justin. I’d never seen one of the dead hit by a train. Could you get more dead?

“I can’t believe you did that.” Tamsin was wheezing with laughter. “You should see your face. You should have seen all those people. That might be the best video yet. You reckon, Harls?”

Harley nodded. My feet barely touched the floor as they bundled me past the glowing Way Out sign and up the first staircase.

“Here, take my cap.” Pete jammed a baseball cap over my hair. “The transport police will be looking for you.”

“It’ll take more than a cap.” Tamsin was already removing her jacket. “Put this on. Quick.”

Moving on autopilot I shoved my arms into the body-warm sleeves looking around frantically. Where was Justin?

“Where’s your Oyster card? We can’t stop at the gates.” Tamsin shook my arm. “Get with the programme, Oh. Do you want to spend the night locked up?”

I shook my arm free of her grip and pulled my card from my jeans. I showed it to her wordlessly.

“Come on then.”

We were facing the giant escalator. Tamsin pushed me onto the stair ahead of her and the others crowded on. “Run, Oh.” Tamsin gave me another shove and I forced myself to speed upwards, trying not to trip as my eyes blurred the lines on the stairs and turned the escalator into an illusory slope.

There was an angry shout behind us and I paused long enough to turn around. A guard stood at the bottom of the escalator, walkie-talkie in hand.

“We’re not going to make it,” Tamsin gasped.

“Harley, Pete – diversion,” James snapped.

Pete and Harley shouldered past, sprinted to the top of the moving stair and vanished.

I grimaced and held onto my side as a stitch drove a spike through my kidneys.

Above me Pete began to shout.

“They’ll close the station any minute,” Tamsin called.

My legs felt like jelly and I was shaking all over, exhaustion, adrenaline… rage. I forced one last effort from my body and hurtled up the final steps. I staggered off the escalator like a drunk and doubled over.

“Only one more.” Tamsin patted the middle of my back then gave me another push. “Not so long this time.”

“I know,” I gasped and stood up. James and Tamsin hemmed me on each side and forced me to move faster. We ran up the last escalator and emerged into daylight. Only one gate was open and guards were checking cards and faces.

“You’ll be fine,” Tamsin whispered. “We’ve got out of stations before.”

I nodded, too shattered to disbelieve her, and got into the queue.

Just as I was about to place my Oyster card on the gate, shouting broke out. I turned along with everyone else. Pete and Harley were having a fist fight. My mouth fell open. I’d never in my life seen Pete hit anyone.

They rolled to the floor, howling and yelling at one another and all but one of the staff ran through the gates to separate them. The single guard remaining wasn’t too interested in peering beneath my cap, especially as they were looking for a bare headed girl in filthy clothes. I ducked into the fresh air, where I inhaled as if I’d never breathed before.

Tamsin and James flanked me once more. “There’s a Pizza Express down the road. You can clean up and we’ll wait there for the boys.” Tamsin fingered her jacket with distaste. “You’d better keep this till you get home. Dry clean it before you give it back.”

I wrapped my arms around myself with a sigh. Now I was in the open air I could smell the Poison seeping from the designer threads. My stomach lurched, but she was right. I had to stay covered up for the journey home. I glanced down. My jeans were blackened and torn at the knee; who knew what my shirt looked like.

While Tamsin and James slid into their chairs I sidled past the tables and ran down the steps into the toilet. I cleaned my clothes up as best I could with paper towels and water, then pulled off the cap and stared into the mirror.

My right cheekbone was scraped and bleeding and I had a lump on my forehead that was already bluish purple and surrounded by angry red swelling. I touched it gingerly and winced. My left hand was also scraped and I ran it under the tap as I pulled the filthy glove from my right. I couldn’t go home without it. I hesitated for a moment then put it back on. I held a wet towel against the lump on my forehead and tried to run my fingers through my hair. They came up against another bump on the back of my head and a snarl of knots so tight there was no moving it.

I rammed the cap back on. I’d deal with it later.

Then I stood and just looked at myself. I barely recognised the girl in the mirror. That was it then, I was in the V club. I was… popular. But I felt as if maybe I’d been hit by that train after all.

When I got back to the table, Pete and Harley were already sitting down. Harley actually had a bruise forming on his cheek and Pete had a cut lip. I winced; they hadn’t held back on each other.

There was a spare chair between the two of them.

“So you’re in. How does it feel?” Tamsin leaned against James and stroked the inside of his forearm. “I’ll be honest, sweetie, I didn’t think you’d do it.”

“I didn’t think I’d do it either.” My legs gave out and I dropped next to Pete.

James regarded Tamsin from under lowered brows. “Not sure the others are going to like this, babe. The V club isn’t for the likes of her.” He brushed his tattoo as if to remove dust from the ink and glanced at me. “No offence.”

I shrugged. He didn’t have to like me, just let me ask for a truth. “So can I set a challenge now?”

Tamsin laughed and leaned back. “You are funny. Your initiation got you in the club. You don’t get to be a challenger until you’ve been selected by the wheel and completed another dare.”

“What?” I pressed my throbbing palm between my thighs and my head reeled. “How long will that take?”

“That desperate to get me back, huh?” Tamsin sneered. “The next meeting is in three days. I suppose there’s a chance the wheel will land on your name. James is the challenger though, so you don’t want it to land on you.” A flicker of remembered terror blurred her blue eyes. “Trust me.”