The Weight of Souls

20 HOW BAD COULD IT BE?

“Don't speak to me,” I snapped, glaring at the piece of paper in my hand. I'd copied the postcode from memory, and had got it wrong.

“Bad day at school, dear?”

“Seriously, Hargreaves, if you don't shut up...” I turned my glare up and down the street. It was a quiet residential road with a large modern church right in the middle.

“What, you'll kill me?” Still, he took a step to one side.

“I don't have to let you stay in my house.” I shoved him so hard he staggered. “And I'm more than happy to transfer the Mark to Tamsin bloody Harper.”

I swung back round, clutching the paper to my heaving chest. I wished I really did have the guts to Mark Tamsin; that would teach her.

After a couple of bitchy remarks she'd pretty much left Hannah alone for the rest of the day, turning all her vitriol on me. I hadn't realised how much Hannah's quiet presence gave me the strength to put up with her. Now I was on my own and my ears still burned.

Hannah would forgive me in a few days, she had to. Until then... I growled under my breath... until my friend came back, I'd focus on getting rid of Justin Hargreaves. Which meant Marking his killer so he could move on.

And that meant finding the V Club.

“Fine.” I exhaled noisily. “I'm lost. Where am I supposed to meet them?”

“Seriously – here?”

Justin shrugged. “See, you weren't lost. Where did you think you were heading?”

“Not a church hall.”

He steered me forward by my elbow. “We're a youth group.”

As we walked I peered around me, challenging the eyes of passing tourists and checking every group for outliers.

Justin shook my arm. “You aren’t going to get a second to stand for you if you keep shoving the weird down everyone’s throats.”

“I have to check for ghosts,” I hissed angrily.

“I’ll do it for you.”

I hesitated in my scan. “Really?” I whispered.

“Sure. I had a feeling about the old guy. I’d probably be able to ID any others, right?”

“I-I guess.”

“Do you trust me to do this for you?”

Did I? Justin had never liked me. He didn’t believe he was murdered and he didn’t particularly want to move on. This ghost had no incentive to help me find his killer. His only real motivation was that I’d threatened to Mark his girlfriend.

I swallowed. When I came to think about it, if the Darkness came for me, it probably wouldn’t bother Justin at all.

So if he saw another ghost, would he tell me?

I thought about how he’d fought the old guy to stop him from Marking me.

“Well?”

Reluctantly I made the decision. “Alright, but be alert and let me know if you see one of the dead. This kind of place attracts them.”

His grin widened. “You trust me.”

“Just look for the ghosts,” I hissed and strode up the steps into the church, eyes straight ahead for the first time in five years.

It was a Catholic church, I knew that much. It was called Saint Benedict’s and the sign on the door said the Priest was Father Harding and the Deacon, Don Lomas. I paused to savour the sound of those titles: Father, Deacon.

I looked up. It was a modern building, but even from the outside I could see that the windows were stained glass.

The door was ajar. I pushed it all the way open and stepped inside.

There was a bowl of water by the door and a notice-board that was full of newsletters, notes about the parish and information about charities. A letter from the Bishop was the centrepiece. A group of children were being confirmed in two weeks time and the choir practised on Tuesdays. Mrs Christophers was winner of the one hundred club this month.

To my left a wooden bookcase contained hymnbooks. I imagined a line of people trailing past, each taking a book before going through the glass doors in front of them. I blinked and looked away. I was spending too much time taking in sights that I normally skipped over in my search for the dead.

There was another door, a wooden door, to my right. I assumed I would have to go that way, but first… I wanted to see.

I moved towards the glass doors. The early evening sun was catching the windows just right and rainbows painted the pale wooden pews and spilled on the floor like oil on water.

A statue of the Virgin Mary opened her hands to me above a vase of lilies. My shoulders started to loosen and I allowed my eyes to skim lazily towards the altar. It was covered with a gold edged cloth that would have been white, but the light made it so many colours I couldn’t even tell what picture the window was supposed to be casting. I let my gaze follow the fractured image to the crucified man hanging above the altar.

Like the mummy in the museum this was one of the dead that couldn’t bother me. He should have been in agony, I’d heard crucifixion was a horrible death, but whoever had carved the image had given him a loving smile. My hand was suddenly hot inside the glove and I rubbed it on my trousers.

For the first time I wondered what would happen to Justin when he passed over.

“What’re you doing here?” The drawl could only belong to one person. My eye twitched and I turned. All thoughts of kindness fled.

But I needed someone to second me. “I’m here for the V club, Tamsin. Pete’s proposing me. He didn’t tell you?”

“Harley said he was proposing someone.” She snorted. “What a waste of my time. I had to come all the way over town to get here and now I’ll just have to turn around and head home again.” She tapped her nails thoughtfully on the glass. They made a snick-snick sound, like claws. “Maybe we’ll go out for a Chinky or something, when you’ve been sent on your way.” She tossed her blonde waves. “Oh sorry, was that offensive?” she sneered. “What was Pete thinking?”

The dry scent of lilies tickled the back of my throat as I inhaled. “He has his reasons.” I forced my fists to remain open. “I know a little bit about your club. I’d like to have the chance to be in it. Tell you what, if you second me you can set my initiation dare, that's a thing, right?”

Tamsin hesitated and her eyes filled with calculation. “James sets the initiation dares.”

What had Justin seen in this girl? I glanced to the entrance where I knew he lingered. Instead of watching for ghosts, Justin’s eyes were trained on Tamsin’s red cross-over top.

My heart thudded and I resisted rolling my eyes. The dead would easily get past him and I’d have an early trip into the Darkness because his girlfriend was wearing a tight shirt.

I pasted a smile on my face and forced down the instinct to guard the entrance myself. “So what do you think, Tamsin? If you second me I’ll do whatever dare you set.”

“No double dares at an initiation.” She dragged her nails along the door handle, apparently relishing the feel of her manicure on metal.

“Pete told me.”

“He told you all the rules?”

“Just what I needed to know for tonight.” I didn’t tell her that Justin had filled me in on the rest. And he was right, it was a creepy and dangerous club they had going here.

Her smile was predatory now. “He told you what happens when you don’t complete your dare?”

I nodded, nonchalant. “Social death.”

She licked her lips. “People have hurt themselves, changed schools. Derek was the last.”

I blinked. Justin hadn’t mentioned that Derek had been in the club.

A frown creased my forehead. “I thought Derek was mates with you lot.”

She shrugged. “Rules are rules.”

I caught sight of Justin. At Tamsin’s tectonic shrug his eyes had glazed over. I shook my head. “To be honest, I’m not sure how failure would change things for me.” I grimaced. “I’m already at the bottom of the social scale.”

Outside the church a dog yipped, but Tamsin never took her eyes off me. They were pale blue and slightly slanted. I’d never noticed the slant before. She reached up with her claws but stopped before she touched my skin.

“Oh, you have no idea. Right now, you’re pond scum. We don’t like you. Sure, we’re mean. But we haven’t been trying. You can’t even imagine how much worse things could get for you.”

She was wearing Poison. The perfume filled my lungs and my stomach gave a flip like it wanted to hurl my dinner. I made myself ignore the desire to see her covered in half-digested hamburger.

“Sounds like you’d enjoy that,” I murmured.

She tilted her head and regarded me balefully. “Maybe I will second you. It’ll be a lot of fun when you fail and I’ve been saving an excellent dare for a special occasion.”

I had what I wanted. But the skin on my neck prickled. She turned to go through the open door.

“By the way,” I said through clenched teeth. “I heard they found Justin. I’m sorry.”

She stopped with her back to me. Her bare legs trembled slightly; then she carried on walking as if I’d said nothing at all. As she disappeared through the other wooden door Justin met my eyes sheepishly. I gave him a single glower, but had to remain silent; it was time to go in.

The room was pretty basic. A couple of religious paintings decorated the walls. I didn’t know what they showed exactly. One was an angel, I knew that much; he held a spear through some sort of writhing monster. Another was a saint-like figure, haloed and dressed in white, floating up to heaven on a cloud.

James was busy tacking a photo-shopped poster over the image. It showed an image of Icarus flying too close to the sun and underneath it read:

The V Club

Qui Audet Vincit

I was frowning at the poster when James turned around. “What’s the problem, Oh?” His muscles bulged under his shirt; I’d heard he’d been drinking protein shakes to bulk up. Most of the girls thought he was hot, but to me he looked deformed, like someone had stuck a film star’s head onto a wrestler’s body. He pushed his sleeves up to his elbows and I finally got to see his full tattoo: “Veritas”.

I fought a lip curl. “I just don’t get the connection between Icarus and the club.”

James laughed. “Icarus took a risk and dared to fly. We’re all winners here, risk-takers.” He pumped his fist and I jumped as all the other kids in the room made a matching gesture.

I tore my eyes from the poster, wondering if James even remembered what happened to Icarus at the end of the story.

“We’re all here?” James cast his green-eyed gaze around the circle of plastic chairs. For the first time I noticed Pete leaning against the back wall. He was the only one who wasn’t lowering his hand from the winner’s salute.

I nodded towards him. He didn’t nod back.

James walked towards me. I hadn’t actually realised how strong he was until he grabbed my arm. I wanted to turn to Justin, but James was dragging me towards an empty chair in the middle of the circle. “Sit here.”

I sat and tried to ignore the sensation of all those eyes on me, but the pressure of the hostile gazes made my skin itch. The light from the single hatched window fell on my face and I shifted. As I moved a hand squeezed my shoulder. I jerked and looked up. It was Justin. I exhaled.

James sniggered. “Everything alright, Oh? You seem jumpy.”

“A fly in my hair.” I wriggled to get more comfortable. “Now what?”

There were two chairs still empty; one next to Tamsin, the other next to Harley. Harley lounged back with eyes half-closed; he wasn’t expecting anything of interest to happen. His curls lay flat against his head, and his arms were folded. He made no move at all when Pete dropped into the chair next to him and sat with his fists in his lap.

James took the seat next to Tamsin and her hand immediately crept onto his thigh, her nails tickling his leg in a very familiar gesture. Next to me Justin stiffened. They’d found his body only a short while ago. She hadn’t grieved for long.

“Pete, you’re proposing Taylor for membership of the V club.”

Pete nodded tightly and the light caught his shaved head. I tried to catch his eye, but he didn’t look at me.

“Anyone second the motion?” James stretched lazily and threw one hand behind Tamsin’s chair. She said nothing.

Around me cloth rustled as the others prepared to get up and leave. It was over. I’d never find Justin’s killer.

Then Tamsin stood up. Her fingers trailed up James’ torso, lifting his shirt slightly as she rose. Then she posed; one hand on her jutting hip, the other on James’ shoulder.

“I’ll second.” She pouted as an incredulous chorus shattered the quiet. “But Jamie, will you let me set the dare? Just for tonight.”

The others fell quiet. They’d seen through her, just as I had. This was nothing more than a way to torment me more. She was convinced I’d fail her dare. Their appreciation bit the air.

James frowned. “You know the rules.”

Tamsin walked her fingers up his neck. “I’ve got a really good one and don’t I have a few points saved up?”

James hung his head, thinking. Then finally he nodded. “Majority decides – if the club agrees, we’ll suspend the rule for tonight.” He looked around the group. Most nodded quickly, their faces feral with anticipation. Only Pete shook his head. I closed my gloved fist over the Mark on my palm.