Just To Be With You

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

As Ian kissed her, for the first time in her life Tatiana knew—really knew—what passion was.

This was the kind of passion that people wrote songs and books and movies about.

This was the kind of moment that people waited an entire lifetime for.

She’d acted out passion a dozen times on screen to the best of her professional ability, but she’d never truly felt it before. No one but Ian had ever kissed her like this, touched her like this. Touching not just her body, but her heart and soul, too.

She hadn’t meant to leap into his arms to kiss him like that, but she’d been so excited about being an Oscar nominee that it had been pure instinct to share her joy with him any way she could. They’d hugged, they’d danced, and then, before she knew it, she was kissing him.

Just a few moments of her lips against his—and yet it had been unlike any kiss she’d ever had, with warmth and arousal instantly swamping her system.

Feeling as if she’d just been struck by lightning, she’d drawn back, but before she could do more than exclaim her surprise at what she’d done, Ian was crushing her against him, his mouth devouring hers. And as he kissed her breathless, she forgot all about the nomination, forgot about everything except how badly, how desperately, she wanted him.

She heard it first—the sound of fabric ripping—before she realized he’d torn open the bodice of her silk dress with one tug of his hand on the fabric at her neck, leaving her standing before him in her bra, also in blue silk.

“You’re even more beautiful than I dreamed you’d be.”

The raw timbre of his words, and the fierce need in his eyes, sent shivers through her, along with a ravenous hunger for more of his dangerous passion. She didn’t want him in his clothes any more than he seemed to want her in hers, so in yet another impulsive move, she shoved his jacket open and onto to the floor, then reached for the buttons on his shirt and yanked them open.

His tie still held the top of his shirt in place, but she’d pulled it open enough to bare a patch of his chest. Oh, how she wanted to feel his heat, his strength! She was just putting her hands on his chest when he tugged her hair back, his mouth diving for the pulse point in her neck. With his free hand, he cupped one breast through the silk of her bra, and she both heard and felt his aroused groan against her neck.

Being with him without any walls anymore, without any rules about what was and wasn’t allowed to happen, felt so good. So shockingly good that the only way she could keep herself steady on her shaking legs was to hold on to him, and to arch closer, to offer more of herself—all of herself—to him.

Sliding his hand from her hair so that he was cupping both of her breasts through silk, he stroked over her nipples with his thumbs. As a new flood of heat and arousal rushed over her, she couldn’t stop herself from bucking her hips into him.

He gave one more hard rip and her dress was gone, nothing more than a small pile of shredded silk on the rug in his office. Her panties were blue like her bra and as he just stood there and stared at her, a hint of fear at knowing she was about to do something she’d never done, go to a place she’d never gone, nearly made its way in past her excitement, past her joy.

But then, he was sliding a hand between her legs, and all thoughts of fear fell away as he found her hot and aroused.

“I knew you’d be like this,” he murmured against her mouth as he tugged her close with one hand between her thighs, the other on her breast, for another heated kiss. “So responsive.” He kissed his way down her neck, over the swell of her breasts, before pulling one bra cup down and covering her nipple with his mouth. “So sweet.” She couldn’t keep up with all of the sensations, with the heat of his tongue on her, with the thrill of his hand over her shockingly aroused flesh, especially when his teeth scraped so deliciously over her nipple.

Against her breast, he whispered, “You’re just so goddamned sweet,” and then he was pulling down her other bra cup to suckle on the taut tip of her other breast.

Overwhelmed with heat and arousal and emotion, when he slid his fingers beneath the elastic of her silk underwear and found her bare skin, she couldn’t stop from crying out from the shock of pleasure at having his hands and mouth on her like this. Absolutely everywhere she’d wanted him.

He moved his lips from her breasts back to her mouth to give her another searing kiss, and to drink in more of her cries, but his hand stayed right where it was, slipping, sliding against her slick, heated flesh. “All week I needed this. Needed to feel you, naked, hungry, ready for me to take you over the edge.”

His words were broken up by the kisses he gave her, but even if she hadn’t heard them, she would have known what he wanted.

Because she needed it just as badly.

“Now, baby.” He lifted his mouth from hers to stare down at her with eyes that had gone nearly black with desire. “I need you to come for me. Now.”

But she was already there as with one of his hands between her legs, the other on the nape of her neck to hold her steady, she shattered into a million beautiful pieces in his arms in a climax so much more powerful than any she’d ever experienced before.

He stroked her all the way through her release, murmuring how beautiful, how breathtaking she was. Still, when he lifted her up with his hands on her hips and wrapped her legs around his waist, she was still trying to catch her breath.

“Now. I need to get you into my bed right now.”

“Anywhere,” she said as she put her arms around his neck. “You can have me anywhere.”

He stopped halfway to the door to kiss her again in an utterly unrestrained tangle of lips and tongues and teeth. For a moment, she thought he might just push her up against the wall and take her right there like that. And though she’d dreamed of making love with him in a bed, she now knew that wild sex against the wall would be perfect, too.

Anywhere would be perfect, as long as she was with Ian.

On a low curse, he finally moved them out of his office, taking long, impatient strides down the hallway with her in his arms. He turned into a dark room, moving one arm from around her just long enough to flip on the light switch.

“I need to see you.” He kissed her as he lowered her back against the bed covers. “I’ll go crazy if I can’t see you, Tatiana. All of you.” He looked down as he moved over her, his gaze moving from her face to her breasts, to her naked limbs. “A thousand times I’ve dreamed of what you’d look like, the sounds you’d make, the way you’d smell. But I had no idea just how amazing you would be.” He leaned down to kiss her again. “Watching you completely let go like that, feeling your body moving against mine, your mouth so damned soft and sweet as you kissed me...it destroyed me.”

She pulled him closer, tightened her legs around him so that his full weight was over her. “I’ve never let go like that before, never knew I could.” But she didn’t feel destroyed, she felt reborn, as though everything was brand new and so shiny and beautiful she could hardly wrap her head around the wonder of it all. “Take me even higher, Ian. Please.”

His hands tangling in her hair and his mouth on hers sent her climbing again, so quickly, so fast, that she was already desperate for him. Before she knew it, he had her bra off and her panties shredded as he tore them from her, so that she was completely naked before him.

“I’ve never seen anything, or anyone, as beautiful as you.”

There was pure reverence in his voice as he stilled above her. Balancing his weight on one forearm, he stroked his free hand down between her breasts, over her stomach, then between her legs.

“You’re beautiful, too,” she whispered back, still hardly able to believe they were here in his bed, naked and kissing, and that he was about to make love to her. “But I need to see more of you. I need you naked, too.”

Both of them started to strip away his clothes, although by the time his shirt was off, Tatiana was so stunned by his incredible male beauty that her fingers pretty much forgot how to work and he had to take care of everything else by himself. When he finally kicked off his shoes and socks and pants and turned back to her, gloriously naked and hugely aroused with a condom already on, her mouth went dry, her eyes wide.

“Wow.” Maybe if she’d had enough brain cells left to realize the way she looked, sounded, she might have been able to stop herself from coming across like a virgin who’d never seen a naked man before. Even if that’s exactly what she was. “You’re...I...”

She couldn’t form any words that made sense, but she could go to her knees and reach for him where he was standing at the foot of the bed. Putting her hands on his shoulders, she brought them down slowly over his back, his taut muscles rippling beneath her fingertips. His skin was so warm, his shoulders and back so broad, that a little sound of pleasure left her lips right before she leaned forward to press a kiss to the hollow of his throat.

He growled her name, and before she knew it, he had her lying back on the bed again. “I need you now, damn it.”

“Yes,” she panted as she instinctively arched beneath him and tried to pull even closer. “Take me now.”

Everything had happened so fast from the moment he’d told her that one kiss would change everything...and that there would be no turning back from it. He’d been right, more right than she’d understood. Barely a heartbeat later, he shifted his hands beneath her hips and positioned her right where he needed her to be.

“You’re mine, Tatiana.”

She’d never seen his eyes look so dark or so full of desire, and knew that she was staring into a mirror of her own need for him. His jaw tightened as he brought their hips even closer together, so close that she could now feel the intense heat of his erection beginning to press against her.

Instinctively, she opened her legs for him as she echoed, “I’m yours.”

His eyes closed for a moment, his lashes dark against his cheekbones as he stopped to take such a deep breath that she swore she could feel it in her own lungs.

“Mine,” he said again.

And then, in the next breath, he was driving into her, taking everything she wanted him—and only him—to have, stretching her wider than she knew she could go, pushing deeper than she’d ever expected.

She reached for him even as her stunned gasp fell between them. The shock of taking all of him so suddenly, so fully, had her winding her arms tightly around him and burying her face against his chest.

Ian went completely still above—and inside of—her. “Tatiana?”

She tried to breathe through it, but he was just so big that even that small movement made her gasp again. And yet, it never occurred to her to let him go or to push him away. Not when giving her virginity to Ian was the best decision she’d ever made.

The soreness would pass—it already was, as her body settled into the perfection of nature—but this closeness, this intimacy, would be forever theirs.

She didn’t have any words yet, so she pressed her lips to his chest, kissing him so he’d know she was okay. But instead of holding her tighter, he shifted slightly away to look down at her.

“You’re a virgin.” He grimaced. “Damn it, you were a virgin.” She could read his confusion, and the obvious guilt on his face, as if he thought he’d done something wrong by taking what she wanted him to have. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because I didn’t want you to stop. Please—” She wrapped her legs even tighter around his hips so that he couldn’t move any further away from her, realizing just how quickly pain was turning to pleasure. “Please don’t stop loving me, Ian.”

“I can’t stop, damn it.” She’d worked with some of the best actors in the world, but she’d never seen so many divergent emotions cross anyone’s face. “Not now. Not now that you’re here beneath me and I’m finally inside of you.”

With every word that he ground out, she felt the joy—and pleasure—begin to build inside of her again, until she was instinctively lifting her hips closer to his so that she could feel more of the heady slide, and the wonderful stretch, of his erection.

“Oh,” she breathed as she relished every last sensation, “I love having you inside of me.”

He crushed her mouth to his again, and then there was only pleasure as he slowly slid nearly out of her, then back in. She gasped again, and when he lifted his head to stare down at her to make sure he wasn’t hurting her, she smiled—the happiest smile of her life.

“It feels good. So good.”

His groan came along with his next kiss, and he held them connected like that long enough that she could feel the rhythmic pulse of his erection against her sensitive flesh, the same beat as his heart against hers.

She didn’t know how long he kissed her like that, with their tongues tangling, their bodies pressed fully together, totally connected in every way they could be. But by the time he finally began to move his hips again it felt as if it was a dance they had practiced a thousand times before.

One to which only the two of them knew the steps.

All her life she’d been a student of sensation, so in the midst of more sensory input than she’d ever experienced before, Tatiana tried to memorize her feelings and emotions, along with the heavy press of his muscular thighs over hers, the rasp of his chest hair against her breasts, and the delicious taste of his tongue on hers. But then, he moved one of his hands between their bodies, and the sweet slide of his fingertip over her clitoris promptly stole every last thought from her brain.

“Ian.” His name was a plea on her lips as she lifted her hips to try to get closer to his hand and take him deeper all at the same time. “I need—”

“Shhh,” he soothed. “I know what you need, sweetheart.”

No one had ever looked at her the way he did then. She’d seen desire before. She’d seen affection. She’d seen admiration.

But she’d never seen such possession, as if Ian was claiming not only her body, not just her heart, but her very soul with every stroke of his fingers over her aroused flesh, with every thrust of his hard heat inside her. And no one had ever used an endearment that sounded so sweet to her ears.

She hadn’t wanted to seduce, or to trick, Ian into being with her. She’d wanted it to happen because he was all in, just the way she was. But knowing how strong his self-control was, she was certain that he couldn’t possibly have let one accidental kiss change his mind. Which meant that somewhere between yesterday morning in her kitchen and this afternoon in his office, he must have already made up his mind to have her.

And to love her the way she loved him.

“I always knew you would,” she whispered against his lips.

“All you have to do,” he said in a deep voice that warmed every inch of her, “is let me give you everything you need.”

With each sweet yet sinful word he spoke, she grew wetter, hotter, needier. Every muscle in her body was tightening down inch by inch as he took her higher and higher with every caress, every stroke. And when he urged her—Come for me again, Tatiana. Show me how good I’m making you feel. Let me feel it, too—that tightening gave way to such freedom, such flight, that his arms around her and his heavy weight above her, were the only ways she could possibly have remained connected to the physical plane.

She’d never known an orgasm could go on and on forever, starting with an explosion of bright red behind her closed eyelids, then orange and yellow, before swinging back around to another bolt of scarlet red like the finale of a fireworks show.

But just when she thought she’d already hit the highest possible peak—beyond bliss, way past ecstasy—he gripped her hips tightly and whispered her name as he grew impossibly bigger inside of her.

“Ian.” She loved the way his name felt on her lips, loved the way his body felt inside hers.

But most of all, she loved the love that she felt for him.

As he came closer and closer to his own release, his thrusts grew harder, went deeper, but Tatiana still wanted more, more, more.

She moved with him, lifting her hips into his as he slammed into her again and again, their bodies slippery with sweat. She kissed, licked, bit at his chest, his neck, his jaw, until he captured her mouth with his. And it was his kiss that sent her, awed, tumbling over the sweet edge of ecstasy again.

She’d wanted everything from Ian. His body. His pleasure. His laughter. His teasing. His love. And when he finally let loose the final reins of control and climaxed inside of her, it was knowing that he’d finally given her all of himself, without holding anything back, that was the ultimate bliss.