Just To Be With You

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

By now, they both needed to get back to Seattle—Ian to close the deal with Flynn and Tatiana to begin production on her new movie—so the trip to Alaska was shelved for another day. During the flight, she made notes on her script while he worked on his laptop. He offered her something to drink and she politely declined it. He asked if she needed to do another read-through and she said she thought she finally had it under control thanks to his earlier help.

The flight back was as smooth as the trip there had been rough, which should have been great news...and yet…Ian found himself wishing that they’d hit rough air again so that he could have another chance to hold Tatiana’s hands and be close to her.

With every mile they covered, as the distance between them grew bigger and bigger, Ian knew that all he would need to do to make her change her mind about leaving him was to pull her back into his arms and kiss her. One kiss and she’d feel, she’d remember, what was between them—how extraordinary it was. And then she’d come back to him and give him the chance he’d all but begged for, and he wouldn’t have to face the thought of a night without her in his arms.

But how could he do that when he knew she’d done exactly the right thing by getting out before he eventually destroyed the light inside her?

Finally, the plane landed, but once they’d both unbuckled and stood, Tatiana stayed standing before him. “Ian—” Her mouth trembled and she pressed her lips together for a moment before continuing. “Before we get off the plane and the real world swallows us up, can I ask you a few last questions?” She laughed a little then, but he could hear how shaken she was beneath it. “Really, I mean it this time. These will be my last ones.”

“Anything, Tatiana.”

“If I call you tonight. Tomorrow. Next week. Next month. Will you promise not to pick up? And if—” Tears welled up in her beautiful eyes. “—if I come by your office, if I tell you I need to do more research, will you promise not to let me in?” She lowered her head to brush tears away. “And if you find me standing on the tarmac again waiting to spin you a tale about needing to get on your plane with you for a role, will you promise not to fall for it?” She pulled her canvas bag up and held it in front of her chest like a shield. “One day I hope I’ll be my old self again and the memories will have faded enough that I’ll be strong enough to resist you on my own. But until then...I’m going to need your help, and your promises, not to fall for any other ideas I might come up with in the middle of the night when I’m missing you like crazy.”

He’d told her he’d do anything for her. But he hadn’t known—hadn’t truly known what it was like to love until now. Not until the most beautiful woman in the world stood so close and just out of reach, at the same time as she asked him to help her stay away from him.

It nearly killed him to say the words, “I promise.”

He watched as she forced the corners of her lips up. “Thank you.” But she still didn’t walk away. “I also wanted to wish you good luck with your meeting with Flynn today, although I know you won’t need it. He’s going to sign the deal.” Her smile was genuine now. “And I’m going to be so, so happy for you when he does. Let him know I said hello.”

When she finally turned to go, Ian felt as though his insides were tearing in two. “I don’t need to do the deal, Tatiana.” She turned back to him in shock as he said, “If I walk away from it, I’ll have more time to spend with you.”

Tatiana had surprised him right from the very first time he’d met her, but even though he now knew her better than he’d ever known anyone else, the very last thing he expected to see on her face was anger.

“Would you ever ask me to give up acting?”

“Of course not.”

“Then why do you think I would ever in a million years want you to give up on your own dreams?” She shook her head. “I saw firsthand how excited you are about Flynn’s company, and about working personally with him. I know how much you thrive on your work, and I love that you do. Can’t you see that you’ve never let me, or anyone else, down before by being true to yourself? But if you blow this deal on purpose, if you walk away from working directly with Flynn after you gave him your word, all because you can’t get it through your thick skull that you’re already perfect just the way you are...well, then, you won’t just be letting me down. You’ll be letting yourself down, too.”

As she turned for the door and he followed her, he felt like he was watching them both on screen, like all of this was happening in a movie, rather than his real life. Because how could he have finally found something so beautiful, so incredible, and then lost it so quickly?

“T!”

Tatiana had called Valentina to let her know they were finally coming back to Seattle, and now Valentina and Smith were standing at the bottom of the steps waiting to fold Tatiana into a hug.

“I’m so glad you’re back safe and sound.” Ian watched Valentina brush the hair back from Tatiana’s forehead so that she could look into her sister’s face to make sure she really, truly was okay. “But you’re crying. Why are you crying?”

“I’m just so happy to see you.”

Valentina pulled her sister closer and lifted her questioning gaze to Ian’s face. He’d barely been able to hide what he felt for Tatiana a week ago.

Now he simply didn’t have a prayer.

Valentina paled even as Smith, who had clearly already put two and two together, came forward with hands curled into fists.

“What the hell, Ian?”

His cousin was clearly spoiling for a fight, but when Tatiana said something in a voice that was too soft for Ian to make out, Valentina cut Smith off with a hand on his arm. “Tatiana’s ready to head home now.”

Tatiana sat in Smith and Valentina’s living room on a soft chair under a blanket with a cup of tea in her hand. They’d both been kind enough to give her some space on the drive over and to let her settle in for a few minutes while they spoke softly to one other in the kitchen.

About her and Ian, of course.

When they both finally moved hand in hand to sit on the couch kitty corner to her, Tatiana suddenly realized that everything really had changed. It wasn’t just she and her sister anymore. Valentina and Smith were a team in all things now, even loving and protecting her.

“Are you ready to talk about it yet?” Valentina asked gently.

No she wasn’t. Not even close, but seeing how worried her sister and Smith were, she knew she had to at least say something. “I’m in love with Ian. But I’m pretty sure both of you already got that.”

“Why didn’t you tell me, when we were on the phone last week?”

“I wanted to tell you, Val. I almost did, but I knew what you’d say.” She looked at Smith. “What you’d both say. That you’d tell me to keep my distance. And—” She held up a hand to beat them to it. “That you’d only be saying it because you love me.”

“We do,” Smith said, “so much that we hate to see you looking this way now.”

“I know I’m a mess,” she agreed, “so you’re probably not going to believe me when I say that loving Ian was the best thing I’ve ever done in my entire life.”

Valentina moved from Smith’s side to put her arms around her, and by the time Tatiana finally looked up from her sister’s comforting arms, Smith was gone.

Ian wasn’t at all surprised when Smith walked into his office and slammed the door behind him, snarling, “You should have stayed away from her.”

He stood, figuring he’d make it easier for his cousin to do what needed to be done. “I know.”

“What the hell is wrong with you, leading her on like that, making her fall so in love with you that I’m pretty sure she’s going to be pissed at me for coming here to beat the crap out of you?”

“I’m in love with her, too. And you should beat the crap out of me.”

“You’d better believe I’m planning on—” Smith broke off. “Wait, what did you just say?”

“You should beat the crap out of me.” Ian had the most important meeting of his career in a couple of minutes, but he’d just have to do his best to clean up the mess Smith was going to make of his face before he headed into it.

“No, before that.”

“I love her.”

“Jesus.” Smith ran a hand over his face in obvious confusion. “I don’t get it. She loves you. You love her. So what’s the problem?”

Bethany knocked once before letting herself in. “Ian, Smith, I’m so sorry to interrupt, but Flynn is here.” She shot Ian the same concerned look she’d given him when he’d returned to the office thirty minutes ago. Clearly, he looked as bad as he felt. “I thought you might like to know that he’s already looking at his watch.”

Having missed their previously scheduled meeting this morning when Ian couldn’t get off the island in time, Flynn had shifted his own tight schedule to come again this afternoon. If Ian stood him up a second time, it was likely he’d feel he’d just been jerked around by another investment company. If that happened, it was unlikely Flynn would come back to Sullivan Investments.

Ian couldn’t stand the thought of Tatiana crying over him, couldn’t stand not being there to take her into his arms and soothe her. If he left now, he could be with her in fifteen minutes. But though seeing her again, touching her again, would make him feel better, he knew with perfect certainty that she would be absolutely infuriated.

“If you blow this deal on purpose, if you walk away from working directly with Flynn after you gave him your word, all because you can’t get it through your thick skull that you’re already perfect just the way you are...well, then, you won’t just be letting me down. You’ll be letting yourself down, too.”

Turning to Bethany, Ian said, “Let Flynn know I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

His assistant nodded and closed the door behind her with a soft click.

Smith stared at him like he couldn’t believe what he was seeing. “I just want to make sure I’ve got this straight. You’re in love with an amazing woman who’s currently crying in her sister’s arms over you, but instead of doing anything and everything you can right this very second to convince her you’re sorry for screwing everything up and won’t make the same mistakes again, you’re in here getting ready for a meeting.” Smith shook his head. “I’ve figured out the problem. You’re an idiot. You were a good man once. What the hell happened to you that makes you think this—” He gestured to Ian’s office. “—is what really matters?” With that, his cousin left the same way he came in, with a good, hard slam of Ian’s office door.

Ian knew that Tatiana had risked everything for him. Getting in his face with her questions when no one else would. Loving him when he’d repeatedly tried to push her away. And then walking away for both their sakes when he didn’t have the strength to do it.

The very least he could do for her was not let her down now.

“Where’s Tatiana? Isn’t she still supposed to be shadowing you?”

Of course that would be the first thing Flynn wanted to know. The other man had clearly been smitten with her during last week’s meeting and he’d only gotten to speak with her for a few minutes. Lord, if he only knew how sweet it was to hear her laugh over a bad movie, or how good it felt to dance with her to the beat of the rain in the middle of the kitchen, or the way she held absolutely nothing back while making love....

“Tatiana couldn’t be here today, but she says hello, and—” He paused before deciding to tell the other man, “she also hoped we’d be agreeing to a deal today. So do I.”

Flynn took his measure. “You look really tired, and with you missing our meeting yesterday because you had other meetings out of town that couldn’t wait, I’ve got to ask: Are you sure you’ve got the time to give to my company?”

Ian laughed, then, all pretense of holding it together gone. “You want to know the honest to God truth? No, I don’t have the time. I haven’t had the time in over a decade. Longer than that. But I’m going to make the time for your company. Not only because I gave you my word that I would, but also because I haven’t been this excited about working with someone else in a very long time.”

“Honesty.” Flynn looked surprised. “I haven’t seen much of that in boardrooms these past couple of years. Until right this second, frankly, I wasn’t sure that I could trust you. Look, I’m not asking you to give up having a wife and kids for me. Hell, I hope to have those myself one day. And I get that you might not always be the best person to work with in every area, that you’ve got a staff full of intelligent, enthusiastic people who know how to kick ass in their specific arenas. I just want to know that your interest in growing my company is serious.”

“It is.”

“In that case,” Flynn said with a wide grin and an outstretched hand, “we have a deal.”