Just To Be With You

CHAPTER THIRTY

Laughter was spilling out of Mia and Ford’s house on Friday night when Ian headed up their front walk carrying a case of Sullivan Winery’s finest sparkling wine. The house was lit up against the night sky, and though rain had been threatening all day, for the time being it was holding off.

And he was extremely glad for it, because clear skies were essential for the plan he’d spent all last night and today putting together.

What Mia had said to him about not ever truly wanting any woman enough to give her his all had really hit home. Speaking with Chelsea minutes later had only confirmed the truth of it.

He wanted to give Tatiana things he’d never given another woman. His time, his attention, and most of all, his heart. Only, he’d screwed things up with her so badly, and in such a big way, that he knew he needed to get them right in just as big a way. Tonight, he was counting down the seconds until he could see her again, until he could hear her voice, see her beautiful smile. And he was praying that when the helicopter landed on the grass behind Mia and Ford’s house, she’d agree to get into it with him so that he could whisk her off for the most romantic evening of her life.

Everyone was busy chatting when he stepped inside, but Mia spotted him right away. “Thank God, you’re finally here. I was afraid you were going to do something crazy, like change your mind about coming tonight. Although if you had, I would have dragged you here myself.” She stopped and tugged at the case of sparkling wine in his hands. “Earth to Ian. I need you to let go of the bubbly.”

But Ian could barely process what his sister was saying with Tatiana standing so close. She was beyond beautiful in a black and white patterned dress that skimmed over her curves and fluttered around her knees. Her elegant outfit wasn’t extra-sexy tonight like it had been at the fundraiser, nor was it as pared down as the jeans and sweaters she’d worn on the island. But it didn’t matter how she dressed, or what side of herself she chose to showcase. Ian loved them all equally. Because he, too, loved her just the way she was. Full of constant questions, boundless bravery...and endless passion.

Knowing he’d never be able to stay away from her until the helicopter came—and that she deserved so much more than an impromptu apology and declaration of his love for her in the middle of her party—he gave Mia the case of bubbly, then turned and walked out the door again, heading for the tower.

A short while later, he heard his father say, “Mind if I join you for a little air?”

“Sure.”

“Congratulations, again, on closing your new deal. We’re all very proud of you, and I know how thrilled you must be.”

They’d spoken on the phone the previous day, so Ian already knew how proud his parents were, but it was nice to hear it again. “Thanks. It’s a really good move for the company.” And yet, he wasn’t as over-the-top thrilled as he thought he’d be.

Because nothing felt right without Tatiana in his life.

“I’m in love with Tatiana, Dad.” It was the first time he’d told anyone of his feelings, but it didn’t feel right to keep it inside anymore. Especially not with the father he loved so much, whom he knew loved him just as much.

“She’s a beautiful woman. Sweet and talented, too.”

“Closing that deal should be the best thing that has ever happened to me, but nothing feels right without her.”

“I know what it’s like when things don’t feel right.” Max ran a hand through his hair. “Damn it, I’ve waited too long to sit down and talk with you about this.” His father turned to face him. “All these years have passed since I lost my job, and yet the sense of failure still gnaws at me sometimes when I think back to how I couldn’t figure out a way to provide for all of you.”

“It wasn’t your fault.”

“No, but it sure as hell felt like it when you had to leave college to start working for a paycheck. But for as low as my own pride in myself sank, I couldn’t have been prouder of you, watching the way you took the business world by storm. Even if my failures were the reason you’d had to get started with it in the first place.”

“Any one of us would have pitched in to help. I was just the right age to be the one who was able to do it. And I was happy to.”

“I know you were, but though you were so successful, and obviously thrived on the work you were doing, it wasn’t easy to watch you turn so serious, and to give up your dreams of playing football.”

“What I do now is a better fit than playing pro ball would ever have been.”

“Maybe, but I only wish you could have figured that out without the pressure of needing to earn as much money as fast as you could to save our house. You were pushed headlong into starting your own business while other college kids your age were busy figuring out how to get their papers written by only reading CliffsNotes.”

“For so long,” Ian told his father, “work felt like enough. Even when I was married, it was enough, and that’s why Chelsea and I didn’t last. I couldn’t run my business the way I wanted to, the way I knew I needed to, and also be there for her the way she wanted me to be. And the truth is that I never cared enough, never loved her enough to put her first.”

“But Tatiana is different, isn’t she?”

“I’ve never loved anyone the way I love her. The thing is—” He paused to look back toward the windows, through which he could see Tatiana standing in the middle of the living room looking so beautiful he could hardly believe she’d been his for a little while. “—I’ve screwed things up with her, Dad. Really, really badly.”

“For so many years,” his father said in a gentle voice, “your mother and I have hoped that you’d find someone who doesn’t want or need anything from you but love. And from what I can see, you don’t need to protect Tatiana like you protect your brothers and sister. You don’t need to save her like you saved me and your mother. You don’t need to prop her higher like you did your ex-wife, or prove that you can be a bigger and bigger success every year the way you do for your shareholders. All Tatiana wants is you. Nothing else.” Max gave Ian’s shoulder a squeeze before standing up. “Something tells me that regardless of how badly you think you’ve screwed things up, if you’re willing to give her yourself—every part of you, heart and soul, without holding anything back—the two of you are going to be just fine.”

And as his father’s words played again in his head, Ian realized he’d been about to blow it again. He’d been sitting out here waiting for the perfect time to literally sweep Tatiana off her feet in the romantic gesture he’d been so certain she wanted.

When all along, all she wanted was him.

One question at a time, one kiss at a time, Tatiana had taught him about love. The kind of real, powerful, forever love that his parents had...and that he’d been so sure would never be for him. Everything about the way he and Tatiana had come together had been unexpected and impromptu and messy.

And meant to be.

At long last, with a hell of a lot of help from his father, Ian realized that tonight shouldn’t be any different.

Nearly twenty years ago, he had done everything he could to save his dad and his family. Now, Max had just returned the favor a billion times over by saving Ian from himself.

Mia began handing out the champagne glasses to everyone, and Tatiana nearly dropped to her knees in gratitude that they were almost at the toasts, because she wouldn’t be able to fake her smile for much longer.

It had been hard enough coming here tonight knowing that Ian would be close enough to touch and yet completely out of reach. She’d tried to brace herself for the moment she saw him, tried to remind herself that she’d need to stay strong enough not to throw herself back into his arms, even if the two days she’d spent apart from him had felt more like two horribly long, miserably dark years.

Of course, when he’d finally walked into the house, her heart had leapt so hard and so high that she was half surprised it wasn’t dancing around on the floor from the sheer thrill of seeing Ian face to face again. But after one quick look at her, he’d immediately turned and left.

For a moment, she’d thought she would shatter right there, in the middle of Ford and Mia’s living room with Ian’s family surrounding her. Her hands and feet had gone numb, and she’d forgotten how to breathe.

Somehow, though, she’d gotten through it, partly with the help of Valentina’s warm hand over her ice-cold one...but mostly by drawing from the love she felt for Ian to regain her cool. She didn’t want him to think he’d destroyed her, didn’t want to add more guilt to the load he already carried.

For the past half hour, Tatiana was hopeful that she’d pulled off another Oscar-worthy performance with his family and friends, acting as if she were whole when she was certain she’d never feel whole again.

Once everyone had a champagne glass in hand, Mia tapped a spoon on the side of hers. “It’s time to toast our guests of honor.” The room quieted down as everyone turned with smiles for Tatiana and Smith. “And since it’s our house,” Mia said with a grin as Ford wrapped an arm around her waist from behind, “Ford and I have decided we get to go first. Smith, you wrote, directed, and starred in an amazing film that blew both of us away. I’ve always been proud to share the Sullivan name with you, and I always will be. And Tatiana, we want you to know how blown away we are by you, and how much we love you, too.”

“Especially me.”

Two dozen heads swiveled toward the deep male voice that had just sounded from the doorway.

Ian.

He only had eyes for her as he headed across the room, and the silence was so complete they truly could have heard a pin drop.

“The first time I saw you in the middle of the vines in Napa Valley, I knew you were special, but I couldn’t let myself believe it. I wasn’t prepared to let someone as unexpectedly bright and beautiful as you into the life I’d arranged so carefully. Or behind the walls that I’d worked for so long to build so high.” Their families parted for him as he spoke in his strong, mesmerizing voice, until he was standing right in front of her. “But from the moment I met you, all of my carefully ordered plans, all the boundaries I’d built, started to come crashing down one after another until they were an even bigger mess than your living room.”

She could barely take it all in, that right when she thought she’d never recover from her heart ripping in two, Ian was suddenly standing before her, staring down at her with pure love in his eyes. And yet, even as stunned as she was by the unexpected and beautiful words he was saying, how could she not smile at his equally unexpected joke?

He moved closer, then, reaching out to stroke the small dimple in her right cheek. “I never thought I’d find something, someone, I’d love more than my company, or would be able to count on the way I can count on it. But now I know just how wrong I was. You’ve proved to me again and again that I’ll forever be able to count on you. And even if I tried my whole life to stop loving you, I would never be able to do it. Because you are the love of my life, Tatiana. Can you ever forgive me for not recognizing true love when you were right there in front of me?”

Just then, someone coughed and Tatiana remembered, with no little shock, that they weren’t alone. The minute he’d walked back in the front door and started speaking, the world had shrunk down to just the two of them. But Ian hadn’t just told her that he loved her—he’d declared himself in front of everyone.

Of all the words he could have spoken to her tonight, it was how he said them that said the most about his true feelings for her. He wasn’t just opening himself up to let her into his heart tonight, he was breaking down the walls he’d put up around himself to let all of them back in.

“How could I not forgive a son who would do anything for his mother and father?” She reached for him and could have sworn sparks jumped when their hands touched. “How could I not fall for a brother who would protect his siblings with his dying breath?” He tugged her closer at the same time that she moved toward him. “And how could I not love a brilliant CEO who is excited by the work he does every single day...and who happens to wear a suit better than anyone else ever will?”

His mouth came down over hers, then, so warm and so full of love that the tears she’d barely been holding back all night long finally spilled down her cheeks from the sheer joy of being back where she was meant to be.

In Ian’s arms.

Too soon, he was drawing back, but before she could protest, he said, “When I told you life isn’t a fairy tale, it was because I’d never met anyone like you, and I honestly didn’t think you could exist. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted, needed, dreamed of.”

“So are you. I love you so much, Ian.”

“You said you needed to learn something from me, but I’m the one who’s learned everything from you. Everything, Tatiana. Especially,” he said with a heart-stopping grin that made her fall in love with him all over again, “the power of a well-timed question.”

He brought both her hands up to his lips and pressed a kiss to them before dropping to one knee. Thunder rumbled outside and rain poured down onto the roof above them as he spun every question she’d ever asked him into the most beautiful one possible.

“Tatiana, will you be my happily ever after?”

And as her yes was drowned out by the cheers from both of their families, Tatiana knew there had only been one answer all along.

Love.

Everyone surely thought they were crazy for heading hand in hand out into the rain, but she knew storms would always be special for them, taking them back to the days and nights on an island where everything but love had been stripped away.

Together, they’d danced on the grass to the beat of the rain, and soon everyone was out there with them, getting thoroughly soaked and laughing their heads off. Or—as she noticed when she looked over at Ian’s parents—kissing.

While they danced, he admitted he’d had plans to sweep her away in a helicopter to a romantic restaurant filled with roses and a band playing all her favorite songs, but that he hadn’t been able to wait another second to be with her again. And Tatiana knew that even if they never made it on a fantasy date like that, or if he had to miss some of her movie premieres because of his job, or if her filming schedule meant she couldn’t be there to celebrate every one of his new deals, that none of that was what really mattered.

“All I ever need is you, Ian. Just to be with you.”

And this time, when she looked up into his beautiful eyes and saw that pure love had replaced the shadows and ghosts, she knew for certain that he felt exactly the same way…and that love at first glance really had turned into forever.