Just To Be With You

CHAPTER TWO

Ian’s office had looked just the way Tatiana thought it would. Perfectly ordered, with everything exactly where it should be and, most of all, everyone working hard to please him.

She smiled at that thought, knowing just how easy it was to feel that way. Heck, she didn’t know him very well beyond their one meeting at Marcus and Nicola’s wedding in Napa and what she’d heard about him through her sister and the other Sullivans...and yet she already found herself wanting to do something, anything, that would put a spark of approval into his dark eyes. Eyes that seemed to be full of so many mysteries—and so much barely banked heat—that every time she looked into them she couldn’t help but be completely and utterly drawn in.

Again, she smiled, but this time, entirely different kinds of sparks were the reason. The kind that had made her feel warm and flushed and tingly all over every time she’d thought about Ian Sullivan during the past few months.

She’d wanted to know if her memories of the instant connection she’d felt between them in the vineyard had been real. After only fifteen minutes with Ian in his office, she knew the answer.

Yes, the sparks were real...and getting hotter by the second.

Especially after he’d said his terse No to her request, and she’d moved closer to ask him why. Maybe, she acknowledged, it was a little bad of her to get such a kick out of provoking him. But how could she resist the way his eyes lit with heat and emotion that he couldn’t seem to contain around her? Her appearance had clearly shaken up his otherwise neatly ordered life. Even her red heels and sparkly earrings had seemed to grate on him, as if bright colors were expressly not permitted in the Sullivan Investments headquarters.

During the first couple of hours she’d been waiting in his office, she’d pulled up her script on her phone and read through it another two times. After having gone over it more than a hundred times already, she’d hoped to finally find the clue to her character’s soul that she’d been looking for. Alas, the glorious aha moment she so badly needed remained elusive. Frustration at spinning her wheels had her closing her script in momentary defeat and turning on one of Nicola’s pop songs in her headphones that never failed to lift her spirits.

She hadn’t planned on Ian finding her listening to music, but perhaps it had been the perfect way to greet him, she thought as he opened the back passenger door of Ford’s Tesla for her. Sexy as sin in his dark suit, he somehow managed to look rough and rugged even beneath perfectly tailored wool. Plus, he smelled amazing, like a pine forest in the cool of night. But what had sent her heart racing even faster was when he’d put his arms around his sister and held her tight, pressing a kiss to the top of Mia’s head, his expression one of pure love. Now, as he slid into the backseat beside her, she realized he was carefully holding the bouquet of flowers that had seemed so out of place in his office, obviously intended for his mother.

“Look who I was lucky enough to find in Ian’s office,” Mia said to her fiancé as she got into the front passenger seat beside Ford and gave him a kiss on the lips.

“Tatiana,” Ford said as he turned to greet her, “it’s great to see you again so soon. Have you started filming your new movie already?”

“Not quite yet. I’ve got a couple of weeks until we begin, so I’m still in character-research mode.” But since she didn’t want to admit that she’d just run into the first role she couldn’t figure out, darn it—and her brain wasn’t exactly working at top speed anyway with Ian sitting so close—she asked Ford and Mia, “How are things going for the two of you?”

She relaxed in the supple leather backseat while Ford and Mia quickly filled her in on what they’d both been up to since she’d last seen them. Throughout, however, Ian sat stiffly beside her. She wouldn’t be surprised if he was still irritated by her request to shadow him, but something told her she wasn’t the only reason for his unease.

Tatiana had personally been witness to the horribly awkward moment when Ian had first met Ford. The rock star had been secretly making out with Mia in a storage room at Marcus and Nicola’s wedding. Tatiana would never forget the fury she’d seen on Ian’s face when he’d thought Ford was taking advantage of Mia. Things had continued to be strained when they’d all been seated at the same table during dinner and toasts, and just as she had on that day, Tatiana wanted to try to help smooth things over with everyone. The problem was, she didn’t yet know Ian well enough to do whatever would have helped to set him at ease.

In order for Tatiana to do her job well in front of the cameras, she not only needed to look deep into other people’s personalities, she also had to look inward at her own. As a result, she knew herself to be both curious and impulsive. Which meant that, in the months since meeting Ian at the wedding, she simply hadn’t had the self-control to keep her curiosity about him at bay. A few quick online searches had been enough for her to learn that his marriage to Chelsea Adrienne, a flawlessly beautiful blonde even by Hollywood standards, had ended several years ago. Since then, he’d been photographed with a series of equally stunning women at various events, all of them tall and dark-haired and willowy, with cool expressions.

While stopped in downtown traffic, the light of a street lamp enabled Tatiana to study their combined reflections in her window. Ian was dark and brooding and possessed such masculine beauty that it was no wonder stunning women flocked to his side. And as for her...well, tall and dark, willowy and cool were pretty much the exact opposite of her green eyes, reddish-blond hair, and lush curves.

Fortunately, as an actor, her slightly off-center looks had helped set her apart from the thousands of other women vying for parts. On a personal level, however, she honestly didn’t have enough experience with men to know if off-center could ever have a chance of competing with stunning.

When they arrived at the Sullivans’ house, Ian got out, then held the back passenger door open for her again. Regardless of how badly he might want to keep a distance between them, he had been raised to be a gentleman.

She’d walked the red carpet in front of hundreds of cameras many, many times. But her nerves had never been quite this high, and though the rain had finally stopped falling on their drive, she stumbled in her heels on the wet bricks of the driveway. Ian caught her against him before she could go down, and the strength and the heat of his body against hers, along with the potent fragrance from the bouquet she’d just accidentally crushed between them, actually had her gasping aloud.

They’d done nothing more than shake hands at the wedding. And though he’d been easily affectionate with his sister, Ian had been careful not to touch Tatiana in his office, not even to shake her hand.

But now, as she stood for a few perfect seconds in the circle of his arms on his parents’ driveway on the cool, damp Seattle evening, Tatiana felt more warmth, and more arousal, from one accidental touch and the intensity of his gaze, than she ever had with another man.

Is this the real reason you don’t want me to shadow you? she silently asked him.

When his eyes darkened even further—and his grip tightened on her waist as if he wanted to draw her closer right before he abruptly released her—she was almost positive he’d just given her his answer.

The next few minutes were full of happy greetings and laughter that helped settle Tatiana down from the emotional and physical whirl that Ian’s arms around her had set off. Claudia and Max Sullivan were, just as he had predicted, thrilled to see her. She felt so welcomed by them that she could almost pretend she was a Sullivan herself.

The bouquet of flowers, thankfully, wasn’t too badly off for her falling into it. And when Ian gave them to his mother, then folded her into a hug that had Claudia’s eyes tearing up from pure happiness at having her eldest back home, Tatiana’s eyes threatened to well up, too. After hugging his father, even the old family dog who looked to be losing his sight got a friendly pat from Ian and his toy rope thrown across the room for an impromptu game of fetch.

Yes, Ian was clearly a tough-minded businessman who was more than a little cynical about love and romance. But at the same time, he obviously had a very soft spot for his family, just as she did. And ever since her sister, Valentina, had become engaged to Smith, the Sullivans had felt like her family, too.

A few minutes later, though it was clear that Claudia and Max wanted her to relax with a glass of wine while they finished dinner preparations, Tatiana said, “Please, I’d really like to help in some way.” Claudia had pans on every burner on her stove and dough for homemade pasta sitting on the counter, so Tatiana tucked her hair up into a quick ponytail, washed her hands, and said, “When Valentina and I were kids, we used to have bake-offs all the time. One day I surprised her with pasta I made myself, which is my way of saying I promise I won’t screw up your hard work if you’ll let me help roll out the spaghetti.”

“The first time I met Mary Sullivan—although she was Mary Ferrer at the time and such a famous model I was more than a little bit nervous around her—she made us all fresh pasta that tasted like it came straight from Italy.” Claudia smiled, thinking back. “Max’s brother Jack was still trying to convince Mary to officially date him at the time, but it was clear to me that Mary and Jack were already head over heels in love with each other. Ian was a toddler way back then and you won’t be surprised to hear that he fell in love with Mary that night, too, when she read him his favorite book. Ever since, the two of them have had an extra close relationship.” Claudia laughed at herself, as she added, “All of which is my very long-winded way of saying that I’ve had a heck of a time eating store-bought pasta ever since, and I’d love your help.”

“Hey Mom, Dad,” a deep male voice called from the back door, “I picked up the cream you asked for.”

Dylan Sullivan was the youngest male in the family, and Tatiana had often thought that he was also the biggest charmer of the bunch. Where Ian was the serious and responsible eldest sibling, Dylan had a carefree ease about him that was instantly appealing. It didn’t hurt that the boat-builder and sailor was also an extremely good-looking man.

It wasn’t until Dylan came around the counter to put the cream in the refrigerator that he saw Tatiana. “Why didn’t someone tell me the prettiest girl in the world was going to be here?” He swept her up into his arms, and she laughed as he spun her around in the small space.

But a few seconds later, when her body started to heat again, it wasn’t because she was in Dylan’s arms. She didn’t need to see or hear Ian to know that he must have walked into the kitchen. Though he was still halfway across the room, she was intensely aware of every breath she took, the brush of her eyelashes over her cheekbones, the swift beat of her heart.

Dylan put her back down on her feet, and when she glanced over at Ian, she saw that his eyes had darkened again. Was it because his brother had been touching her? Was it because she’d laughed with Dylan?

Or was it simply because sparks flew like crazy whenever she and Ian were in the same room?

With carefully steady hands, she continued rolling out pasta. Sliding onto a kitchen stool across from her as he uncapped a beer, Dylan said, “I already thought you were the perfect woman, but if it turns out you can cook, I just might have to propose to you right now.”

“You’ll have to fight me for her,” Adam said as he suddenly appeared in the kitchen and pulled her toward him in an easy and affectionate manner to give her a kiss on the cheek.

“Adam, Dylan,” Ian said, “Dad needs our help moving the cord of firewood into the shed before dinner.”

“Duty calls,” Adam said with a grin. He gave her another kiss on the top of her head before removing his hand from around her waist. “But don’t worry, I’ll be back to flirt some more with you soon.”

Claudia was laughing even as she shook her head at their antics. “How will you ever manage to choose between my sons?”

When Tatiana was on set in front of the cameras, she was a master at controlling her expressions so that they suited the character she had been hired to play. But she’d always promised herself that in real life she would never act, would never hide what she really felt from the people she cared about. She’d seen too many actors whose entire lives were lived as though they were always onstage in front of cameras. For Tatiana, make-believe was so much fun because she lived in a fantasy world only part of the time.

So instead of forcing a joking response to roll off her tongue, when the kitchen door had closed behind the men, Tatiana lifted her gaze to meet Claudia’s. “They’re all great, and I love spending time with your family. But—” Was it crazy for her to even think of speaking about her budding feelings to Ian’s mother? Especially when she was still working out, moment to moment, exactly how far those feelings reached?

“You’ve already chosen, haven’t you?” Claudia’s eyes held hers. “Ian.”

Tatiana blew out the breath she’d been holding as she nodded. She hadn’t spoken to anyone about her crush on Ian yet, not even her sister. Especially not her sister, who would likely freak out about Tatiana possibly setting herself up to get hurt.

“I know it might sound crazy.” And crazier still that Ian’s mother was the person she suddenly found herself spilling everything to. But the truth that Tatiana hadn’t been able to shake for months was that it had felt like love at first sight when she’d met Ian at the wedding. “We hardly know each other.”

“Feelings don’t work on a timetable,” Claudia said gently. “Sometimes it takes five years for a couple to figure things out, like it did with Mia and Ford. Sometimes it takes fifteen or twenty years, like it did for Rafe and Brooke. And sometimes, it only takes a few seconds to fall at first glance...and to feel deep inside your heart that you’ve found something special that will last forever.”

Ian had never flirted with her. He had never touched or kissed her with careless affection. And yet, from the first moment she’d spoken to him, she’d felt as if she belonged to him. Now, as she spoke with his mother, she had to wonder, was what she was feeling more than just a crush? Was it something that could turn into the kind of forever that Mia and Ford and Rafe and Brooke had? And even if it was, would it make any difference to Ian, when she could still remember every word they’d said to each other at Marcus’s wedding?

“It was such a beautiful wedding, wasn’t it?” were her first dreamy words to him after the ceremony. She’d been so overwhelmed by the love all around her, not just between the bride and groom, but among all of the Sullivans who had found their true loves. They were so free with their smiles for one another, their gentle touches, their kisses. Falling in love with Smith had made Valentina more relaxed and happy than Tatiana had ever known her sister could be.

But Ian had only said, “Marcus and Nicola are both good people.”

She’d realized with no small amount of shock that he hadn’t been as overwhelmed by all the love at the wedding as she had. Trying to understand how that could possibly be, she’d said, “I take it you’re not a big fan of love?”

It had been his turn to look surprised by her pointed question, maybe even intrigued despite himself, as he said, “I have no doubt that the two of them are in love.”

Tatiana wasn’t usually the kind of person who deliberately got in a stranger’s face and asked him deeply personal questions within the first five minutes of meeting him. But Ian Sullivan had drawn her in a way no man ever had, so she’d gone another step further and asked, “So if it’s not love that bothers you, it must be marriage?”

Again, he hadn’t directly answered her question. Instead, he’d turned it around on her. “How old were you the first time you dressed up in a wedding gown?”

She hadn’t hesitated to tell him her fun memories about how she used to put on her mother’s wedding dress when she was four or five and pretend her dog was the handsome prince she was marrying.

When she was done, he’d simply asked, “How often do you think those fairy tales come true?”

Oh, how she’d wanted the fairy tale to come true right then and there—for Ian to turn out to be the man she’d been waiting for her whole life. Looking back, she was sure every one of those desires and dreams were in her voice and on her face as she softly told him, “I hope that they come true all the time.”

He’d looked stunned, and they’d simply stared at one another. His eyes had grown darker and more intense throughout their conversation, and she’d been struck by how attracted she was to him. Shockingly so, with every inch of her skin feeling overheated, her breath coming faster, even her breasts feeling fuller as they pressed against the bodice of her dress. She’d wanted so badly to reach out to touch him, had been so tempted to go to her tippy-toes and press a kiss to his mouth that would surprise him even more than her questions had.

But she simply hadn’t had the first clue how to do any of those seductive, enticing things. Sure, she knew how to play sexy for the screen, but in real life? The truth was that she’d never met a man about whom she felt strongly enough to want to be sexy with him...not until Ian.

So though she’d been standing there in front of him with her heart racing and her skin flushing, rather than doing anything seductive or enticing, she’d finally settled for an awkward smile and a semi-apology for quizzing him about love and marriage in the middle of the vineyard.

Tonight, as she’d watched him be so incredibly sweet with his sister and mother, Tatiana couldn’t help but wonder at Ian’s insistence that love was no more than a fairy tale. Tatiana had always trusted more in what people did than what they said.

And what Ian did was love the heck out of his family, who loved him right back—a love just as strong, just as true.

“Does he know how you feel?” Claudia asked, drawing her back from her vivid memories of that first, strangely intimate conversation with him.

Tatiana was about to say no, but then she remembered the way he’d reacted to her when he’d been holding her in his arms on the driveway. As if he’d felt their sudden connection just as strongly, just as deeply, as she had.

“Maybe.” She had to laugh at herself and amend her response. “Probably. Because as you can see, I’m not exactly going out of my way to hide it. Not even from his mother.” Since she was already being utterly reckless by talking about her feelings for Ian with his mom, Tatiana figured she might as well ask, “Got any tips for me about how to woo your eldest son?”

Claudia’s laughter was just as warm as the arms that enfolded Tatiana into a hug. “He’d be a fool not to fall for you, sweetie. And the one thing I know for sure is that I haven’t raised any fools.”

“No, you most certainly haven’t,” Tatiana agreed, “but even so...” She paused, trying to think of a tactful way to put it. “Ian’s already made it pretty clear to me how he feels about romance.”

Claudia simply nodded as she turned back to the stove. “Tell me, for most people who want to act for a living, once they realize just how difficult it is to get any parts at all, let alone good ones, how long does it take them to give up their dreams?”

“Usually, it’s a matter of months. Although there are some who stick it out for a couple of years before they throw in the towel.”

“Did you ever consider giving up, Tatiana?”

“No.” It had never even been a possibility. “Acting is such an integral part of who I am, I’ve never even thought about doing anything else. I love it that much.”

“And you’ve always been determined to make it work?”

Tatiana thought about how hard she’d been working to get at the heart of her new character, and the fact that she wouldn’t let up until she did. “Yes, I’ve always been determined.”

“Well, people always say that if you follow your heart, you’ll never regret it, which I agree with. But what I learned when Ian’s father and I were trying to make things work between the two of us way back when, was just how much determination it can sometimes take to stay on your heart’s path. I also learned that love is worth the struggle. Always.”

It was, Tatiana thought as she slipped the pasta into the boiling water on the stove, both an encouragement and a warning from a mother who clearly knew her eldest son very, very well. Well enough not to shy away from words like struggle and determination.

Before either of them could say anything more, Max walked into the kitchen, handed Tatiana the glass of wine she hadn’t yet had a chance to drink, and asked if she could go tell the boys to finish stacking the wood and wash up, because dinner would be ready in a few minutes.

As soon as they were alone in the kitchen, Claudia stepped away from the stove and put her arms around her husband. “You know how much I’ve worried about Ian. Not just since his divorce, but even before that.”

“We all have.”

“Suddenly, I don’t feel like I need to worry quite so much anymore.”

Max brushed his wife’s hair away from her face, after all their years together still the most beautiful one he’d ever set eyes on. “Because he’s back here in Seattle with all of us again?”

She smiled up at the man she’d loved with every single breath from the first moment he’d held her in his arms, just the way he was now. “Because something tells me that he’s going to fall in love. For real this time. And that it’s going to change everything for him, in the best possible ways.”

“Ian? In love? Did he say something to you?” But Claudia knew it wouldn’t take him long to figure it out, and a moment later, he said, “Tatiana?”

Ian and Tatiana had been seated together at Marcus and Nicola’s wedding, and though Claudia had been seated at the next table, she’d noted the way Tatiana’s gaze had continually returned to her son’s handsome face. And it had seemed to Claudia that his normally steely self-control had been hanging by a thinner thread than usual around the pretty actress. Tonight when they’d come inside the house, Claudia had seen all of the same signs, on both their parts. Only this time, her son hadn’t seemed quite as good at pushing away his obvious attraction.

“Tatiana,” Claudia confirmed for her husband, her brain already a half-dozen hopeful steps ahead to another wedding and babies and, most of all, the happiness Ian had always deserved, but had never quite been able to find.

It suddenly occurred to her that if she could have picked out a woman for her son herself, she couldn’t have chosen better. Tatiana would never need Ian’s power or influence to help her achieve success. She would never need his money. All she would ever ask him for was a love that matched her own for him. Granted, that was the one thing Ian didn’t seem to think he had to give. But Claudia was confident that in time, he’d realize the truth of what was in his heart, that there was not only enough love for her and his father and siblings...but endless love for a woman who would finally make his life truly whole.

“She’s very pretty and obviously talented,” Max said in a considering voice, “but do you really think she’s strong enough for Ian?”

Claudia looked toward the door through which Tatiana had just exited. “Something tells me she’s going to end up surprising everyone with just how strong and determined she is. Ian, most of all.”

Max’s arms tightened around his wife. “I hope you’re right.”

“When,” she said with a saucy little grin, “have I ever been wrong?”

Knowing better after several decades of marriage than to answer that one, he simply covered her mouth with his. When the sound of the pasta boiling over forced her out of his arms, both of them knew without a word being said that as soon as dinner was over and the kids all went home, they would be right there in each other’s arms again.