Out of the Shallows

4

Edinburgh February 2013

“You look wiped,” Jake said, his expression sympathetic as he stood to press a soft kiss to my lips. “Did the tutorial go okay?”

I slipped into the seat opposite him as he sat back at the table. “I didn’t even have to say a word,” I grumbled, stifling a yawn. “I don’t know why I bothered.”

He shot me a mock frown as he gestured to a nearby waiter. “Why, to accumulate great knowledge, of course.”

I grinned at his faux uppity accent. “Oh, is that what I’m spending all this money on?”

“That, and a little piece of paper that proves you’ve spent thousands and thousands of dollars on an education Good Will Hunting got for a dollar fifty in late charges at his public library.”

Rolling my eyes, I gave the waiter my coffee order and turned back to my boyfriend. “You’ve seen that movie way too many times.”

Jake looked at me like I was nuts. “There’s no such thing.”

“I guess not.” It was a pretty damn good movie. “How was class?”

“Uh-uh.” Jake shook his head. “None of that. How did last night with your parents go?”

Before I could tell him of the discussion that had left me bone weary, my phone rang. With a sigh, I pulled it out and winced at the caller ID. “You’re about to find out,” I mumbled. “My sister. I’ll be a sec.”

Jake nodded, eyes curious, and I stood, answering my phone. “Hey, Andie,” I said quietly, moving through the small café to an empty spot in the corner.

“Don’t you ‘Hey, Andie’ me,” my big sister snapped. “I just got off the phone with Mom and Dad. When were you going to tell me you were back with Jake?”

“Today. I was planning on telling you today.”

“Oh, now I feel better,” she replied. “It’s not like you haven’t been dating him for the past two months!”

“Five weeks.”

“Yeah, that makes it better.”

“Andie, please—”

“No, listen. I can’t let you make such a huge mistake. What the hell are you thinking?”

My blood heated. “You can’t let me?”

“Don’t get snotty. Charley, you’re not thinking clearly around this guy. Don’t you remember what he did to you? Don’t you remember how heartbroken you were?”

Trying not to get mad in a public place, I bit my nails into my palm. “I’m not a silly child, Andie. I’m perfectly capable of making rational decisions—”

“But—”

“No ‘buts.’ He was seventeen and he made a mistake. I’m giving him a second chance. It would be nice if you’d support me on this.”

“Support you?” Andie’s voice had quieted. “Supergirl, all I ever do is support you. However—and note that was not a ‘but’—I can’t support this decision. I don’t think you’re in a position to think rationally around Jake.”

Not at all happy with her reaction, I felt queasy as well as angry. “Stop being condescending. You have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Your whole family doesn’t agree with this, Charley. Doesn’t that tell you something? Mom told me how last night’s conversation went down.”

Yeah, that had not gone… well.

Last night

Mom and Dad stared at me with completely bemused expressions.

I shifted uncomfortably on my bed, watching the Skype screen.

Finally, I said quietly, “Well?”

I’d just told them about Jake and the police academy in one big rambling speech.

“I don’t even…” Mom shook her head, dazed. “I don’t even know where to begin.”

My dad stood abruptly so I lost sight of most of him. He disappeared off screen and I stared after him in disappointment.

Mom looked in his direction and from the way she swallowed, I knew my dad was all kinds of mad.

“Mom?” I whispered.

Before she could say anything, Dad was back on screen, slamming down on his chair and glowering at me. And Jim Redford gave good glower. “Are you crazy?”

“Jim,” Mom admonished.

“I’m sorry I had to tell you like this,” I hurried to explain, “but I need you to know what’s going on with me. I need you to support me.”

“Support you?” Mom narrowed her eyes. “Support you? All we ever do is support you and up until now, you’ve never given us reason to doubt your decisions. But getting—”

“Back together with that boy is a mistake,” Dad finished for her, his voice rising in temper. “And the police thing? I can’t believe that one hasn’t got to do with the other. A few months ago you were settled about going to law school. He comes back in the picture and suddenly you want to be a damn homicide detective all over again. It’s morbid, Charley!”

Despite the severity of the situation, I struggled not to laugh. He didn’t mean it to be funny, but it kind of was. Especially considering I hadn’t mentioned anything about becoming a homicide detective. Clearly, our discussion about it when I was sixteen had never left my father. And I knew it was purely because he worried about me.

“Dad, Jake has nothing to do with my decision to apply to the academy. I’ve always wanted to be a cop—I just didn’t want to disappoint you and Mom.”

“Then don’t,” he grumbled.

I snorted. “Dad, I’ve got to do what makes me happy. That’s all you and Mom have ever said I should do.”

“Since when,” Mom snapped, “does happiness and mortal danger go hand in hand?”

I released a beleaguered sigh. “Since when did becoming a police officer become such a big deal? Rick is one.”

“Rick’s not my daughter,” Dad growled. “I’ve done everything in my power to keep my kids safe, but you seem intent on thwarting me.”

“Thwarting?” I teased.

Mom gave me a look. “This is not the time to be a smart-ass.”

“When you were five, I caught you trying to turn a coyote into a pet,” Dad reminded me.

“He was wounded,” I argued. “He needed my help.”

“He was a coyote!”

“Jim.” Mom rubbed his shoulder. “Chill.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Chill?”

They glared at me.

“Dad—”

“When you were ten, you almost drowned in the creek trying to save Lacey—”

“Technically, Lacey almost drowned.”

“If Roger Pearson hadn’t been walking his dog nearby, the two of you would’ve gone under! And let’s not forget the time you shoved your sister out of the way of a moving vehicle!”

“Oh, so you would’ve preferred that I let her get hit!” I shouted back, wondering where the hell all of this was coming from.

“I want—” My dad took a deep breath and when he spoke again, his voice had lowered. “I want my kid to be safe. Don’t get me wrong, Charlotte, I am so proud of who you are. But that doesn’t mean I don’t worry myself sick over what situation you’re going to put yourself into because you’ve got it in your damn head you have to save people.”

“I don’t have that in my head,” I promised. “But I was raised by two people who taught me that you don’t stand idly by when someone needs help.”

My parents were quiet for a moment. Then Mom said, “There’s helping when a situation arises, and then there’s looking for that situation. That’s what being a cop is.”

“No, I disagree. It’s being there to help when a situation arises. It’s who I am.”

“And Jake?” Dad said, his words brittle. “Is he who you are? Because last time I checked, he was a selfish coward who broke my daughter’s heart.”

My defenses rose at his insult. “Don’t talk about him that way,” I said, quiet but stern. “I won’t listen to it.”

“You need to think.” Dad leaned toward the camera, his hazel eyes almost pleading. “Just… promise me you’ll take some time away from him to really think.”

“I don’t need to.”

“Charley—”

“Are you going to support me or not?”

My parents looked at each other, something grim passing between them. Finally, my dad looked at the camera. “I won’t ever have that boy in this house again and we are not done discussing law school.”

I knew that look on my father’s face. I knew it because it was the same look I got when I wouldn’t budge. My chest ached and I felt the stinging burn of tears behind my eyes.

For the first time in my life, my parents had really hurt me.

“You always told me people deserve a second chance.”

“Charley—”

“If I don’t have your support, we have nothing left to talk about.” I snapped the laptop shut, trembling.

There had never been discord between my parents and me. The ugly burden of it rested on my shoulders and I hoped that it wasn’t preparing for a long stay there.

I tightened my grip around my cell as Andie waited on my reply. “Yeah, it didn’t go great, but I’ll tell you what I told them. If you don’t support me, don’t bother calling me.”

“You’re putting him before your family?” Andie’s voice was so quiet with anger, I barely heard her question. My skin prickled with unease. “After everything he did? After all the support Mom and Dad have given you. You’re just spitting in their faces with this… and, although I get that you want to be a cop, you could take their feelings into consideration. At least you shouldn’t have just dropped those two bombs on them at the same time.” She was silent a moment. “When did you get this selfish?”

“Selfish?” I whispered in disbelief that my sister, one of my best friends, was talking to me this way. “Is that what you think?”

“I think yesterday I respected my little sister. I think today I feel disillusioned.”

“Disillusioned?” I guffawed, feeling my blood heat. “I haven’t committed a crime here, Andie. I’m just asking you to trust me.”

“I don’t with this.”

My fingers clenched around the phone. “When did I get so selfish? When did you get so self-righteous? Mom and Dad weren’t thrilled with the idea of Rick at first, remember? The guy is ten years your senior. Did I say anything? No. I supported you.”

“That’s completely different. Rick never broke my heart and left my family to pick up the pieces.”

“You know, you’re the one person I thought I could count on to be there for me through this. It isn’t easy. I’m trying to work things through with Jake, and I’m finally taking the reins of my future despite Mom and Dad’s concerns about it, and I need my big sister.”

“No, you want me to tell you that it’s all right to steamroll your way through life without taking other people’s feelings into consideration.”

“Andie, it’s my life. My heart. My career.”

“And I’m telling you, if you don’t dump that loser, he’s going to break your heart and ruin your future.”

“Fuck you,” I bit out before I could stop myself.

There was silence on the other end of the line. All I could hear was the sound of my blood rushing in my ears.

Finally… “No, Charley, fuck you,” she whispered back, the hurt evident in her voice. “And don’t bother calling me until he’s out of your life and you’re you again.”

She hung up.

I stared at the wall in front of me, trembling.

I’d just burned my Andie bridge… for Jake.

But she was wrong. Right? My family was wrong.

They just were.

Right?

I jerked in fright as two strong arms wrapped around my waist, but I relaxed as Jake held me against his chest. His lips burned on my cheek. “You okay?”

No, I wasn’t okay. My sister was no longer talking to me. We’d had the biggest fight of our lives and I wished I had some guarantee that Jake was worth it. Was any guy worth losing Andie over? I was afraid if I dug deep enough, the answer would put Jake and I in an even more precarious position. Yet, Andie’s attitude… she’d never made me feel like a bad person before and I didn’t think that was fair. I hadn’t done anything wrong. Exhausted, I said, “I don’t know.”

“They’ll come around,” he promised, his voice soothing. “They’re Redfords. They don’t know how to be anything but cool.”

I slid my arms over his. “I hope that’s true.” I turned around, dipping my head back to look into Jake’s soulful eyes. “I’m fighting between being hurt that they can’t trust me about this and really grateful they care enough to be mad at me.”

Without me having to say so, Jake knew I was thinking about Claudia and her parents’ neglect. “Yeah, I get it. Maybe, though, you should tell them you’re hurt rather than blowing up at them.”

Wrinkling my nose, I looked away sheepishly. “You caught that?”

“Yup. You do that last night too?”

“Maybe…”

“It’s that fire in your blood,” he grinned wickedly. “I do love it but sometimes it gets you into trouble—and not the good kind.” Jake grabbed my hand and led me back toward our table.

“There’s a good kind of trouble?”

He lifted my bag and held it out to me, a sexy glint in his eyes. “Why don’t we go back to my place and find out?”

And just like that, Jake lifted me out of the bleakness, if only for a moment. Yeah, I had high hopes he was worth it, all right. I giggled, sliding my arm around his waist as he wrapped his around my shoulders. “I walked into that one.”

The sight before us brought me to an abrupt halt. Jake stumbled into my back, catching my elbows to steady me.

I grinned at the sight of Claudia and Lowe sitting at the guys’ kitchen table. So. My friend had decided to take my advice after all. “Hey.”

Claudia caught my look and made a face. “I was supposed to be meeting Beck,” she explained. “But I’m guessing he tripped and fell inside another groupie because he isn’t here.”

Lowe laughed, a deep, sexy sound. His eyes glittered in amusement and I felt a rush of anticipation at the thought of something happening between these two. So Claudia was too hung up on Beck to notice Lowe. That could change once they started hanging out more. I’d just have to make sure they had reason to spend time together. Alone.

As if Jake read my mind, he pulled me against him and murmured in my ear, “No.”

Spoilsport.

“You seem in a better mood.” I raised an eyebrow at Claud, ignoring Jake’s warning.

She shook her head, giving me a little smile that said she wasn’t mad at my attempts at matchmaking. “I got that email I was waiting on.”

“And?” I held my breath.

Claudia’s eyes lit up. “It’s all good. I’ll tell you about it later.”

Relief moved through me. I couldn’t be happier for Claudia that her real dad had gotten back in touch. I was curious to know what he’d said, but I knew it was something she was keeping private.

And then an idea hit me.

“You should go out for a drink. Relax about it now. Maybe Lowe could take you.”

Jake gently nudged me toward the door with a huff of exasperation. “Charley and I will be in my room. Do not disturb.”

“Too much information,” Lowe muttered into his coffee.

“That’s your definition of too much information?” I heard Claudia say as I followed Jake down the hall. “You have a lot to learn.”

“Was that an invitation?” he purred back.

I shot Jake a triumphant look but he shook his head sternly and pulled me inside, locking the door behind us.

He turned to me, completely serious. “Beck would lose it if anything happened between Claudia and Lowe.”

“But you heard him.”

“That’s just Lowe. He’d flirt with a houseplant. What he would not do is touch Claudia. He knows how Beck feels about her.”

“You know, I’m starting not to care about Beck’s feelings when it comes to Claud. He’s messing with her. He doesn’t want to date her but he gets pissed when some other guy does. No. That does not fly in Charley World, Jake. I’ve advised Claudia to move on.”

Jake gently pulled me close. “And you’re probably right. But don’t pit best friend against best friend.”

Feeling bad, I played with a button on his shirt. “I’m sorry. That’s not cool, I know.”

“Anyway, Lowe wouldn’t touch Claud.”

“Why not?” I glowered. “She’s smart and funny and prettier than all his groupies put together.”

I felt him shake with laughter. “Sheath the claws, sweetheart. I know your girl rocks but Lowe and Beck are tight. He wouldn’t do that to Beck, no matter how much of a dick Beck’s being.”

“Uh, he did it to you with me when you were being a dick.”

Jake tensed and I knew it was exactly the wrong thing to say. He released me and wandered toward his desk. Turning on his computer, he spoke without looking at me. “That was different. Lowe isn’t as tight with me as he is with Beck. And it was you.”

I was almost afraid to ask. “What was me?”

He gave me a sharp look. “Come on, you must know Lowe really likes you. You’re not just some girl to him.”

“If you know Lowe likes me, why do you rub us in his face?”

“I’m not.”

“The comment about the teeth marks. The comment just now. ‘Do not disturb.’”

“I’m just being me, I’m being us. I’m not going to stop being us. Plus, this way he’ll get over it quicker.”

“You were definitely far more concerned about protecting Melissa’s feelings.”

“That was different.” His face clouded at the mention of his ex. “Lowe wasn’t in a relationship with you. You didn’t tell each other you loved one another.”

Realizing I was digging myself deeper into unstable territory, I tried to stumble out the way I came in. “I’m just saying, I think there’s animosity between you two I don’t understand.”

“He tried to fuck you,” Jake snapped.

My cheeks flushed. “I think you’ll find that it was a little more complicated than that. He’s a good guy. He was there for me. All I want is the same for Claudia.”

Jake groaned and buried his head in hands. “Baby, I hear what you’re saying but please pick someone else. Not for my sake, not for Lowe’s sake, but for Beck’s.” He glanced over his shoulder at me. “He doesn’t get to hold her captive while he messes around with other girls. I get it. I do. Advise her to move on, cut him out, whatever… just don’t… He’s got his issues but me and The Stolen are his only real family. Lowe is like his brother. Don’t do anything to mess that up for him.”

I softened. “You sure are giving me a lot of credit if you’re truly worried I could make something happen between Claudia and Lowe.”

Suddenly looking very boyish, Jake said, “I believe you can do anything you put your mind to, Charley Redford. You’re a force to be reckoned with.”

His words cast stillness over me, my eyes drinking in all that he was. “Totally worth it,” I murmured.

“What?”

I grinned. “Get on the bed. You just won bonus sex.”

His low chuckle tickled me in all my good-for-nothing places as my sweater fell to the ground. Standing, Jake unbuttoned his shirt, his fingers stalling on one at the sound of a ringing coming from his computer. He frowned at the interruption and glanced down at the screen.

“Shit, it’s my mom.” He hurriedly rebuttoned.

“You’re going to answer it?”

“I forgot I said I’d take her call tonight. If I don’t answer, she’ll keep calling.”

“Crap!” I yanked my sweater on just in time.

“Mom,” Jake greeted innocently into the camera.

“Jake, sweetheart, how are you?”

“Fantastic. Charley’s here.” He gestured for me to come to him.

Even though Jake said his family was cool about us being back together, after the chat with mine, butterflies invaded my belly as I walked slowly to the screen. Jake’s mom hadn’t changed an iota since I last saw her almost four years ago.

“Hi, Mrs. Caplin.”

Her eyes lit up. “Charley, it’s so good to see you. I was so happy when Jake told me you two were back together.”

My butterflies slowly abated at her sincerity. “Good to see you too. How are you?”

“I’m well, sweetheart, thank you. And you? You’re even prettier than I remember. Your hair is so much lighter. I like it. How are Jim and Delia? Are they well? How are the florist and the auto shop?”

“Mom, slow down.” Jake laughed as he pulled me onto his lap. “I just got her back. Don’t scare her away with the Spanish Inquisition.”

“I know, I’m sorry.” She grinned unrepentantly. It reminded me of her son. “I can’t wait for you both to get back here. You have to come to Chicago, Charley. Stay the weekend. We’ll have a big family dinner. I know Lukas is looking forward to seeing you again.”

I relaxed deeper into Jake, the stress of my parents’ disapproval eased under the warmth of Jake’s mother’s acceptance. “I would love that, Mrs. C.”