Sensuous

25 February — Thursday

My favorite ad has appeared in both my issues of Screw. Wednesday, when I pay fifty cents to a blind man for a third issue, I’ll be anxious to see if it still runs. As always, I’ll read the paper through from the beginning, skipping nothing, tantalizing myself like a child eating the cake first and saving the frosting for last. And I’ll even resist the impulse to skim the classifieds. I’ll take them in turn, hoping to stumble on his ad.

UNSATISFIED WOMEN — Why miss out on the best part of life? Divorced sensuous man, 42, attractive, athletic, will make sure your needs come first. Your pleasure is my aim. Tireless French expert, specialist in frigidity cures. Absolute discretion and understanding. Any race welcome, but you must be between 18 and 40. You needn’t be beautiful, but if you’re fat, please see Weight Watchers before you see me. My ex-wife was fat and it turns me off. Remember, if you can’t come, call Bill. TOTYG-13.

Bill. 868-9413. That’s what the TOTYG-13 is all about, a phone number coded with letters. 868 is a Manhattan exchange. In Zone One, below 59th Street.

He could live in this neighborhood. In this building. My exchange is 691. Are all the phones in a building on the same exchange? Bill.