Sensuous

1 March — Monday

I went to the phone a few minutes ago. Put my finger in and out of the 8 hole, then dialed NERVOUS and let a recording tell me the time. My watch was two minutes fast. I always keep it two minutes fast. I dialed NERVOUS because I am.

I think I could come with Bill. I think if I lay back and closed my eyes while he ate me, and let my mind wander as it does when I touch myself beneath the blankets, I think I could come. If I were sure that he would be content with that. His ad gives that impression.

Perhaps he would expect to fuck me afterwards. I would not want that, and if I had to worry about the possibility it would keep me from relaxing, and thus from coming. It would be necessary to get everything straightened out beforehand.

I’ll buy Screw the day after tomorrow. A promise to myself — or a promise of Arlene to Jennifer: If his ad is still running, I will call him.