1 April — Thursday

Last night while I was over at Bill’s, Mr. Karlman’s wife died. This morning he came into the office and sold the business lock stock and barrel by making just one phone call. He sent all the other girls home and told me to stay.

When we were alone he looked deeply into my eyes and something clicked for us. I realized I was in love as never before in all my life. He took me in his arms and kissed me, and it happened just as it happens in trashy novels. Bells rang — I swear they did.

“Let me make one more phone call,” he said, and I stood impatiently at his side while he called his girl friend and told her he never wanted to see her again. I could hear her pleading with him over the phone, and he held the receiver to me so that I could listen while she wept. But I felt no sympathy for her. She had not fulfilled him and never would. Nor were those tears genuine, because I knew that no one had ever loved this dear kind man as I did.

I took the receiver from him and replaced it in its cradle.

“And now we’re really alone,” I said. “Just the two of us, now and forever.”

“My darling Arlene,” he said.

We kissed.

“I can’t leave you,” he said. “How can I possibly leave you, even for a moment?”

“But you must.”

“I must,” he agreed, hanging his head. “I have to be with my children now, at least for tonight. And tomorrow I absolutely must put in an appearance at the funeral. I know it’s foolish to let society dictate these things, but it’s better in the long run to be there.”

“Shall I go with you?”

“It wouldn’t look right, Arlene. I’ll go now. Tomorrow night I’ll be with you, and I’ll spend every moment with you for as many years as the good Lord gives me. We’ll travel all over. We’ll do everything together.”

“Will your children be with us?”

“Screw the little leeches,” he snapped. “Let them fend for themselves. If you want children, we’ll have some of our own.”

He turned to go. I caught his arm. “You’re not going anywhere until you fuck me,” I purred. And fuck we did, right there on the office floor beside the filing cabinets, fucking like crazy children, and I came again and again and again until I passed out exhausted.

When we were dressed, as he prepared to leave, I took his arm again. And put my lips close to his ear, and said, in the softest of whispers,

APRIL FOOL!!!!

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