A Song for Us

Chapter Thirteen

ERIC

THERE IS NOT enough whiskey in the world to drown out the feeling of having your heart ripped out of your fucking chest. I knew that Sarah couldn’t be left alone in her sadness and anger or she would self-destruct. I grabbed my phone from my pocket and stared at the screen. I wondered if he was with her now or if she was all alone. I struggled against my instinct to protect her. She’d made it clear that she didn’t want me to be that person. I flexed my fingers, the skin of my bruised knuckles pulling apart and sending a sharp jab of pain up my arm.

“Leave her be. She will call you if she needs you.” Donna took the phone from my hands and slid it into the back of her jeans.

“She’s not going to call me, Donna.” I sighed heavily as I drank back the shot in front of me.

She grabbed my good hand and pulled me from the barstool toward the door. “Let’s get some fresh air.”

As we stepped out onto the sidewalk, I pulled a cigarette from my pack and lit it. I blew out a heavy cloud of smoke as I watched the cars pass by.

Donna leaned against the wall, her eyes bloodshot and unfocused from trying to match me shot for shot. I watched her as she looked up at a hotel across the street, half the windows still lit from the lights inside. I put my arm around her shoulders and pulled her to my side.

“Thank you,” I whispered in her hair.

“For what?” She looked up at me, her face dangerously close to mine.

“For being here.” I dropped my cigarette to the ground and brought my hand up to push the hair back from her face. Her eyes closed and reopened slowly as I touched her skin. I leaned closer as I studied her expression. She didn’t try to pull away from me as her tongue rolled over her lips, wetting them and causing them to glisten from the dim neon light that hung overhead. Her reaction to me was the polar opposite of Sarah’s. She wasn’t repulsed or hurt by my touch, and I needed more than anything to feel wanted. By anyone.

I pushed my mouth against hers, needing to feel the tenderness, the acceptance of someone else. Her eyes fell closed again and her lips parted as I ran my tongue over them. My hand slid into her long hair, my fingers twisting in its softness as I held her to my mouth. She moaned softly, her hand falling on my chest. I pulled her against me as I deepened our kiss, her own tongue exploring mine.

There was a need, a longing, in the way she moved against me, and I wanted so desperately to give her the escape we both sought.

I reluctantly pulled away from our kiss to look into her eyes, the unasked question answered as her mouth found mine again. This time her kiss was more eager and I couldn’t help but push her back against the wall as I pressed my hips into her, letting her feel how much I needed her.

I ran my hands down her body, brushing against her breasts and down her narrow waist. I slid one hand behind her, grabbing her ass as the other lifted her thigh and gave me better access to her. I groaned as I rocked my hips into her, the jeans causing an unbearable friction between us. She gasped into my mouth and it only made me get more lost in her.

“Can I take you to my room?” My breathing was erratic and I had to force myself from finishing right here what we’d started.

She nodded, her cheeks flushed and lips swollen from our kisses. I pulled my body back from hers, hating the emptiness without her against me. I wrapped her fingers in mine as I guided us down the sidewalk and back to the hotel.

We crossed the lobby quickly, and when we got into the elevator, I smiled as I leaned against the wall and pulled her between my legs so I could kiss her again. Her fingers slid under the edge of my shirt and ran along the top of my jeans as our kisses became needier. The doors opened and we didn’t break apart as someone stepped into the elevator with us and cleared his throat. We both smiled and pressed against each other as we rose another floor, and the doors opened again. I backed her out of the tiny space and we stumbled and laughed. It felt so good to let go, to let myself get close to someone, have fun with someone . . .

“Sorry,” I called out behind me to the stranger as Donna giggled and tugged at the buckle of my jeans. I kept my arm looped around her back so she wouldn’t fall as we continued down the hall and fell against my door.

I grabbed the key card from my pocket and tried unsuccessfully to stick it in the slot in the door. Donna took it from my hand and spun around to give it a try. I gripped her hips, pulling her ass back against me. She laughed and pulled on the handle, shoving the door open. We nearly fell inside but I held on to her, lifting her in my arms and kicking the door closed behind me.

I walked her straight to the bed and sat her down in the center. The air around us changed in this private space with only the two of us. As I stood in front of her as she sat on the edge of the bed, I wondered if we would regret this in the morning. Sensing my hesitation, Donna grabbed my jeans and pulled me closer. She slowly undid the button as she gazed up at me, lust in her eyes.

I fought back the thought that I was going to lose her, too, if I went through with this. But as she pulled down my zipper and reached inside my boxers, all rational thought escaped me.

MY HEAD WAS pounding and I rubbed my forehead trying to force my eyes open. A leg slid over my waist and I froze as I glanced beside me to the mess of dark hair. My fingers gripped her knee and I leaned over, slowly brushing her hair from her face. Donna was sleeping peacefully beside me, and flashes of the night before slowly crept back into my memory. I slowly slid out from under her leg and got out of bed, suddenly aware of how naked I was.

I grabbed my boxers from the floor and slid them on as I made my way into the bathroom. I splashed cold water on my face, unable to look at myself in the mirror. The consequences of our night together were going to be too much for me to handle. I couldn’t lose another friend.

I leaned over the sink as I let the water droplets fall from my face, my hands clinging to the porcelain until the cuts on my knuckles pulled open.

A hand slid around my waist and I closed my eyes as I took in the severity of what I’d done. I was beyond wasted and I knew Donna was, too. I had had no right to take advantage of her.

“I’m so sorry,” I whispered, my voice rough from the night of par-tying. Her hand froze on my stomach.

“Why are you sorry?” She sounded so small and fragile and I wanted to wrap my arms around her.

“I shouldn’t have taken advantage of you.” I shook head, mentally chastising myself.

“You had just as much to drink as I had.”

“That doesn’t matter.” I turned around to face Donna and froze as I gazed down at her naked body. I hated myself for the way my body immediately reacted.

There was a knock at the door and we both looked over at it before her eyes fell back on mine. I put my finger to her lips to tell her to be quiet.

She didn’t say a word, and I slipped out of the bathroom and closed the door behind me. I took a deep breath before pulling open the door to the hallway.

Derek stood on the other side and my body tensed as I resisted the urge to punch him in the fucking mouth.

“Can we talk?”

I sighed loudly as I took a step back to let him enter, my eyes briefly flicking to the bathroom door as I walked over to the bed and sat on the edge. Derek stood in front of me as he gazed around the room. I gestured to the chair at a small desk and he nodded, pulling it out and taking a seat. I found my jeans by my feet and grabbed my cigarettes and lit one as I groaned.

“This shit between us needs to stop.”

I cocked an eyebrow at his tone as I took a drag, but didn’t respond.

“I know what you think of me and the feeling is mutual, but Sarah doesn’t need this shit. She was a fucking mess when I came home this morning.”

He had spent the night out without her. I couldn’t resist the urge to make a dig at him. “Classy.” I stretched my back, feeling as if I had been hit by a train.

His eyes danced around the room at the piles of clothes that obviously weren’t all mine.

“That goes both ways.” He pushed to his feet. “I’m telling you to stay the fuck away from both of us. And if you do have to come around, keep it civil. You’re only hurting her.”

I pushed to my feet as I ran my hand through my hair. I was not about to be threatened by this asshole who caused Sarah more pain then anyone else I knew. But her words from last night came back to me and I knew she wanted me to stay away as well. It wasn’t just him.

“You done?”

He glanced down at his feet as he shoved his hands in his pockets. I followed his gaze to Donna’s tank top, the same one from last night that read DAMAGED across the chest. Recognition flashed in his eyes and he glanced to the bathroom door.

“Yeah.” He smiled. “We’re done.” With that he turned and left, slamming the door behind him.

I sighed as I sat back on the bed and took another drag of my cigarette.

Donna came out of the bathroom, a white towel wrapped around her body. “I should go to my room and shower, get clean clothes.”

I looked up at her and nodded, unable to find the words to tell her what we had done should never have happened; would never happen again.

I watched as she gathered her clothes and slipped back into the bathroom to put them on, before disappearing out into the hallway.

I made my way into the bathroom and found my phone sitting on the counter. I slid my finger over the screen and saw six unread messages from Sarah. My heart stopped as I opened them to read.